Author Topic: Lily  (Read 182 times)

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Offline MarkMcD

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Lily
« on: May 29, 2018, 05:41:12 AM »
Hi all,

It's a long time since I've been here, been working on other things, but also still composing.

This is a piece I've been working on recently.  It's a short piano sonata inspired by one of my cats "Lily".


I'm more or less pleased with how it sounds so far.  I'm considering it finished, although there is always room for editing, but the bones are there.


As always, I would welcome any constructive criticism, I'm always open to suggestions on what may or may not be working and on how to get it working.

Hope you enjoy it.  I know that my style is not to everyone's taste being that I consider it classical, tonal music, but I hope that at least you can appreciate it at least for what it is.

Thanks in advance for any comments.

Best regards
Mark


https://www.dropbox.com/s/0qacks2bowpnazr/Lily.mp3?dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/s/ypn6x9ho6nv4g28/Lily%20Score.pdf?dl=0

Offline Mahlerian

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Re: Lily
« Reply #1 on: May 29, 2018, 06:12:06 AM »
I think you've progressed a good deal since the last piece of yours I saw.  You still have the tendency to end movements in different tonal regions from where they began, and I'm not quite sure that there's enough of a compelling reason within the music itself to justify this.  Think about the traditional Classical/Romantic sonata as a painting: the various parts of the whole have to be balanced, or the perspective becomes unclear to the listener.  This isn't to say you can't end in a different tonal region, but there should be some sort of justification for it (in my opinion).

Also, beware of the effect generated by the use of rhythms in the second movement.  It's a very classical Beethoven-esque figuration, and your rhythms are much more in line with contemporary popular music at times, emphasizing 2 and 4 consistently and constantly.  This creates a friction between the ostensible style and the effect, and probably isn't what you're looking for.

The major thing that strikes me about the score is the lack of cross-beaming.  Passages like bar 34 on in the first movement are rendered far more confusing than they would be if they were notated differently.  I know Sibelius makes this a hassle, but it would make your score look far more professional.
« Last Edit: May 29, 2018, 06:18:37 AM by Mahlerian »
"l do not consider my music as atonal, but rather as non-tonal. I feel the unity of all keys. Atonal music by modern composers admits of no key at all, no feeling of any definite center." - Arnold Schoenberg

Offline MarkMcD

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Re: Lily
« Reply #2 on: May 29, 2018, 07:14:33 AM »
Thank you Mahlerian,

Coming from you, that's high praise indeed  :)

I know what you mean about not bring the piece to close in the home key.  There is a simple explanation, although a disappointing one.  I'm simply not skilled enough to direct the music yet I think, rather I follow where it takes me.  Not a good excuse I know.

The second movement.  I was trying, and probably failing, to take into account, something that people have said before about my work, not having enough variety of rhythm.  I had tried to adjust phrases here and there to lead away from a consistant pattern.  Perhaps that didn't really hit the mark.

Also, the cross beaming, it is a bit of a hassle yes, but it should be done properly even so.  The score I've presented here is still quite a way from being presentable to a player.  It is as it is because this is how I like it to sound in Sibeius, as you know, it's always one score to sound as you want it, then another to be properly rendered for a player to read.  I haven't got that far yet.  When and if I do, then I will keep in mind your suggestions as I know this can be confusing.


Thanks again for you comments, as always, much appreciated.
Mark
« Last Edit: May 29, 2018, 07:20:41 AM by MarkMcD »

Offline MarkMcD

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Re: Lily
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2018, 04:25:13 AM »
Hi all,

I'm giving this thread a little bump in the hopes that someone might have something to say.  I didn't think it was so bad as not to warrant anyone's comments, but if so then fair enough.

Offline MarkMcD

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Re: Lily
« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2018, 11:41:00 AM »
Recently someone asked if I minded them downloading the score for Lily, and learning it, which I took as a great compliment.  However, the score was quite a mess.  So I've been working on tidying it up.  I'm sure there will still be the odd problem, but it does look a lot cleaner and easier to read.  So, here's the new link.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/k4x3bpq39wt83tb/Lily.pdf?dl=0