Author Topic: The Joke Thread  (Read 45877 times)

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Online North Star

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #420 on: September 04, 2017, 09:56:18 AM »
Mark Steele's explanation of a 'Freudian Slip'

'I was having breakfast with my mother in law last week when I made an embarrassing Freudian Slip. I meant to say 'please would you mind passing the butter' but instead of that I said 'you stupid cow - you've ruined my life'.
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/R87VRUvmNh0" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/R87VRUvmNh0</a>
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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #421 on: September 04, 2017, 11:31:41 AM »
Why did the astronomer put a hamburger in the bathtub?






Cause he wanted a meatier shower! ;)

Offline drogulus

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #422 on: September 04, 2017, 01:12:32 PM »

     What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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Online vandermolen

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #423 on: September 04, 2017, 10:38:17 PM »
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/R87VRUvmNh0" target="_blank" class="new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/R87VRUvmNh0</a>

Excellent! I wonder which came first - this or Mark Steele. He did a series on scientists in history. The other one which made me laugh was, while dresseh up as Newton with a 'Newton's Cradle' in front of him he demonstrated his theory of gravity not by using it but by smashing the whole thing into a vase at the end of the table.

Here is Mark Steel's lecture on Freud.
I put an extraneous 'e' on his name in earlier posts:

https://youtu.be/Etiwwbpr1Y4

Here is his lecture on Newton. The demonstration using Newton's Crasle is at about 9.15 minutes.

https://youtu.be/cEbreJsRo08
« Last Edit: September 04, 2017, 10:55:28 PM by vandermolen »
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

Online vandermolen

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #424 on: September 04, 2017, 10:38:51 PM »
Why did the astronomer put a hamburger in the bathtub?






Cause he wanted a meatier shower! ;)
Excellent! 😀
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

Offline George

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #425 on: May 09, 2018, 05:44:40 AM »
"I used to date this girl who worked for a record company. After our first date, she sent me a bunch of CDs in the mail. Now I just need to take her out three more times over the next five years."

- Jeff Ross
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

Offline geralmar

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #426 on: May 26, 2018, 08:43:45 AM »
What do you get when you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac? … a person who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Then there was the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa.

Online vandermolen

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #427 on: April 13, 2019, 03:13:30 AM »
My daughter posted this to me:
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

Offline George

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #428 on: April 13, 2019, 04:59:01 AM »
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

Offline SimonNZ

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #429 on: April 19, 2019, 05:20:13 PM »
For Passover:


Offline JBS

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #430 on: April 19, 2019, 05:25:12 PM »

Offline Ken B

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #431 on: April 19, 2019, 05:35:38 PM »
For Passover:


It scares me that I get that joke.

Note a joke, but sad, and related: Recently the AP reported that when in mourning Jews sit and shiver.


Who paid for the last supper?
Jesus got nailed for it.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he is warm for life.

Offline geralmar

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #432 on: April 19, 2019, 09:03:12 PM »


Offline Florestan

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #433 on: April 20, 2019, 04:45:12 AM »
:D

It scares me that I get that joke.

Please, guys, enlighten me. I didn't get it at all.  ???
I compose music because I must give expression to my feelings, just as I talk because I must give utterance to my thoughts. --- Rachmaninoff

Offline George

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #434 on: April 20, 2019, 04:50:59 AM »
Please, guys, enlighten me. I didn't get it at all.  ???

It's a play on the the words night and knight. The translation of the phrase the knight uttered is "Why is tonight different from all other nights?"
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

Offline George

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #435 on: April 20, 2019, 04:51:23 AM »
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

Offline Florestan

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #436 on: April 20, 2019, 05:23:15 AM »
It's a play on the the words night and knight. The translation of the phrase the knight uttered is "Why is tonight different from all other nights?"

Thanks a lot. Funny indeed.
I compose music because I must give expression to my feelings, just as I talk because I must give utterance to my thoughts. --- Rachmaninoff

Offline George

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #437 on: April 20, 2019, 05:56:03 AM »
Thanks a lot. Funny indeed.

No problem.

In all fairness, I had to Google a translation of what the Knight said.  8)
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

Offline Ken B

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #438 on: April 20, 2019, 06:00:21 AM »
     What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What is a rhetorical answer?
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he is warm for life.

Online k a rl h e nn i ng

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Re: The Joke Thread
« Reply #439 on: July 17, 2019, 09:14:49 AM »
Courtesy of the immortal Phil Proctor (though I have an idea I heard it before now)

A guy walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol, and yelled, "I have a .45 caliber Colt 1911 with a seven-round magazine plus one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."

Avoice from the back of the room called out, "You need more ammo!"
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