Well I don't find it ridiculous, so why should the question be in my court?
Because it is ridiculous, whether you recognize as much or not. The posts above have shown quite clearly that among modern pianists who have recorded the Diabellis, there is considerable distinction in the playing styles of such artists as Schnabel, Pollini, Mustonen, Anderszewski, Rosen, the Serkins, et al.
It is somewhat reassuring to hear you like Schnabel, but while of course the interpretation/hardware question is a false dichotomy, your signature and other comments here (Oh give me a fortepiano recording anyday!") lead me to believe you are firmly in the HIP camp above all - while I and probably some others here are not as dogmatically bound to either modern or HIP performance as you seem to be.