I have suffered far too long the slings and narrow-mindedness of outrageous morons mangling the English language!

Now
Cato says: "Hold, enough!" And undammed shall be the comments: let them flood in!
Cato is no doctrinaire scold: he will at times be inconsistent and contradictory in his grammar grumbles, since it is in the nature of languages to be so. Yet
ex cathedra will be his pronouncements!

My complaints shall arrive in no particular order, so let me just start, and you can see if you agree!
People trying to sound smart by using "I" all the time, even when it means it makes them wrong: the ubiquitous "just between you and I" is moronic. "Between" is a preposition and therefore needs an object form, not a subject form. Would you say "That package is for I" or "He stood in front of I" ?
Then stop using "I" with the word "between" or any other preposition!!!

The script for the movie "Becoming Jane" contained the monstrosity "...by your father and I" at whose author the real Jane would have flung her inkpot, and maybe even that other pot in her chamber!

East Coasters and people on PBS using "Absolutely" instead of "Yes" drive me to the brink of pantocide!
But I'll keep my shirt on!
People pronouncing the indefinite article "a" as if they were Canadians saying "eh?" make me want to throw bricks at nuns!

"That is eh very good book." "This is eh book you must read." Completely impossible pronunciation!
It is the counterpart to "the = thee" being used in front of everything: "thee" for "the" is permissible only before vowels.
Why are such things happening? One can blame schools with hemidemisemiliterate teachers leading the ignorant into a perpetual wilderness of pseudo-educated ignorance. One can blame a relativist society, where everyone is correct, especially in language, since aren't all grammar rules just "opinions" anyway? Don't grammar rules stand in the way of personal expression and personal creativity? Aren't grammar rules even perhaps ways to oppress people in the lower classes?

The result of course is the growth of incoherence in private and public discourse, recent examples being past and present occupants of the White House in the last 20 years, Caroline Schlossberg and her infamous 99 "you knows" within 2 minutes of speaking, practically every "movie star" or "personality" jabbering on TV, etc.
Worse is the lack of music in their words: the most recent and risible public example was heard on January 20th in Washington D.C., a "poem" which was merely a concatenation of the most trite and unmusical syllables ever heard in decades.
The lady's poetic license needs to be revoked!
Another thing that drives
Cato nutzoid are people referring to themselves in the 3rd person!
So I will not really be doing that!

Feel free to list your own pet punctuation or pronunciation peeves: I will probably agree with you!