The Joke Thread

Started by karlhenning, April 25, 2007, 12:34:49 PM

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Pohjolas Daughter

Quote from: k a rl h e nn i ng on July 21, 2022, 08:42:14 AM
Seen on Twitter:

hy couldn't the devil make cheese?

There's no whey in hell.
Boooooo!  ;D

Quote from: DavidW on July 21, 2022, 11:16:31 AM
Here are some memes for the day:



I especially feel that last one!
I particularly like the black hole one.  Alas, I'm missing out on the point of the truck/shipping one.  And re the third, well, sometimes life doesn't always go as planned.  ;)

PD

DavidW

Quote from: Pohjolas Daughter on July 28, 2022, 04:33:47 AM
Boooooo!  ;D
I particularly like the black hole one.  Alas, I'm missing out on the point of the truck/shipping one.  And re the third, well, sometimes life doesn't always go as planned.  ;)

PD

The truck is being catapulted to be able to make the delivery on time.

Karl Henning

Quote from: DavidW on July 28, 2022, 06:23:36 AM
The truck is being catapulted to be able to make the delivery on time.

Thanks, and thanks to PD for asking. I didn't get it, either.
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Pohjolas Daughter

Thanks David.

And good to know that I wasn't along Karl!  :D

PD

milk

It's very difficult to find jokes that my four-and-a-half year old can understand. Here's one I think he gets: why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9.
Here's another:
Why do giraffes have long necks? Because their feet stink.

Pohjolas Daughter

Quote from: milk on July 29, 2022, 05:18:07 AM
It's very difficult to find jokes that my four-and-a-half year old can understand. Here's one I think he gets: why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9.
Here's another:
Why do giraffes have long necks? Because their feet stink.
Very cute!  ;D

Here are a couple of kid/G rated ones for you (though probably need to delay them for a few years in terms of sharing with your kid):

*Where does the Lone Ranger bring his trash?  To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump, etc.  [Think Rossini "William Tell Overture"].

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?  Ba na na naaaaa [Think, Fifth]

*Alas, dated I know!

I'll run away now! lol

PD

George

This cheeseburger walks into a bar and says "give me a beer." Bartender says "we don't serve food here."
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

milk

Quote from: George on July 29, 2022, 07:17:28 AM
This cheeseburger walks into a bar and says "give me a beer." Bartender says "we don't serve food here."
Nice!
Quote from: Pohjolas Daughter on July 29, 2022, 06:32:02 AM
Very cute!  ;D

Here are a couple of kid/G rated ones for you (though probably need to delay them for a few years in terms of sharing with your kid):

*Where does the Lone Ranger bring his trash?  To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump, etc.  [Think Rossini "William Tell Overture"].
I like these music-related ones. I remember the Lone Ranger.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?  Ba na na naaaaa [Think, Fifth]

*Alas, dated I know!

I'll run away now! lol

PD

Pohjolas Daughter

Quote from: George on July 29, 2022, 07:17:28 AM
This cheeseburger walks into a bar and says "give me a beer." Bartender says "we don't serve food here."
:D

PD

SimonNZ

#489
An unexpectedly jokey question in the final of the 2013 University Challenge:

What song's opening lyrics would best be answered with the replies: "No', "no", "no", "no" and "get them yourself"?

hint: music written in 1916 to words from 1804


Szykneij

Quote from: SimonNZ on October 10, 2022, 07:19:34 PM
An unexpectedly jokey question in the final of the 2013 University Challenge:

What song's opening lyrics would best be answered with the replies: "No', "no", "no", "no" and "get them yourself"?

hint: music written in 1916 to words from 1804

Google says "Jerusalem is a classic hymn sung as an anthem. It was originally written as a poem by William Blake in 1804. Hubert Parry set it to music in 1916. It is seen by many as England's unofficial national anthem."
Men profess to be lovers of music, but for the most part they give no evidence in their opinions and lives that they have heard it.  ~ Henry David Thoreau

Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines. ~ Satchel Paige

Karl Henning

Why did the man name his legless dog Cigarette?

Because every morning he took him out for a drag.
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

vandermolen

What happened to the man who stole the rhubarb?

He got held in custody
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

'The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good' (Stanley Kubrick).

Karl Henning

Seen on Twitter:
Hmm... look at that. I was just reading there are no canaries on the Canary Islands.
Same thing with the Virgin Islands... no canaries there either.
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

George

#494
Heard about the new Ford Mute? It goes without saying.


(I am particualrly proud of this one. I think this is the best joke I have written.)
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure