Solve the World's Problems!

[Dr. Dread]

Right here! In this thread! World hunger? Over-population? Pollution? Terrorism? Fat people? Etc.

I know you can do it.

[Lethevich]

1. Put fat people in an arena where they must all compete to survive and eat each other until the strongest remain, and due to all the running that they have done, are no longer fat.

2. Rich countries employ people in poor countries to dig really deep holes. Any excessive births who would cause problems in any country are them put in the holes once they reach their teens, and become an underground culture of mole-people, with their own rules and territory. Once some kind of civilisation has emerged down there, babies will immediately be sent down, as they can be looked after just as well.

3. Send everyone over the age of 60 to terrorism hot spots to settle there, missionary-style. The temperature will be to their liking, and eventually they will vastly outnumber any potential terrorist support-base, and anti-western propaganda will be replaced by discussion about the weather and how much worse young people are nowadays.

4. Use the extra money rich countries will be flush with for not having to support the ellderly to pay to feed any remaining hungry people, and pay for various infrastructure projects to improve third world countries.

5. Now all countries are rich, everyone helps to build a giant super computer inside a robot-defended fortress in the centre of Antarctica to make sure we don't mess around. If some dictator arises and starts to be a pain, the super computer will send robot death squads to kill him.

[Scarpia]

1. Put fat people in an arena where they must all compete to survive and eat each other until the strongest remain, and due to all the running that they have done, are no longer fat.

2. Rich countries employ people in poor countries to dig really deep holes. Any excessive births who would cause problems in any country are them put in the holes once they reach their teens, and become an underground culture of mole-people, with their own rules and territory. Once some kind of civilisation has emerged down there, babies will immediately be sent down, as they can be looked after just as well.

3. Send everyone over the age of 60 to terrorism hot spots to settle there, missionary-style. The temperature will be to their liking, and eventually they will vastly outnumber any potential terrorist support-base, and anti-western propaganda will be replaced by discussion about the weather and how much worse young people are nowadays.

4. Use the extra money rich countries will be flush with for not having to support the ellderly to pay to feed any remaining hungry people, and pay for various infrastructure projects to improve third world countries.

5. Now all countries are rich, everyone helps to build a giant super computer inside a robot-defended fortress in the centre of Antarctica to make sure we don't mess around. If some dictator arises and starts to be a pain, the super computer will send robot death squads to kill him.

The only flaw I see in your plan is that 3) may backfire and result in a generation of radicalized old people.  We will see the advent of the suicide back-brace and the orthopedic shoe bomb.

[Dr. Dread]

1. Put fat people in an arena where they must all compete to survive and eat each other until the strongest remain, and due to all the running that they have done, are no longer fat.

2. Rich countries employ people in poor countries to dig really deep holes. Any excessive births who would cause problems in any country are them put in the holes once they reach their teens, and become an underground culture of mole-people, with their own rules and territory. Once some kind of civilisation has emerged down there, babies will immediately be sent down, as they can be looked after just as well.

3. Send everyone over the age of 60 to terrorism hot spots to settle there, missionary-style. The temperature will be to their liking, and eventually they will vastly outnumber any potential terrorist support-base, and anti-western propaganda will be replaced by discussion about the weather and how much worse young people are nowadays.

4. Use the extra money rich countries will be flush with for not having to support the ellderly to pay to feed any remaining hungry people, and pay for various infrastructure projects to improve third world countries.

5. Now all countries are rich, everyone helps to build a giant super computer inside a robot-defended fortress in the centre of Antarctica to make sure we don't mess around. If some dictator arises and starts to be a pain, the super computer will send robot death squads to kill him.

You are a genius. And female at that! 

[PSmith08]

The only flaw I see in your plan is that 3) may backfire and result in a generation of radicalized old people.  We will see the advent of the suicide back-brace and the orthopedic shoe bomb.

Just have Andy Rooney pre-record some sort of admonishment against Islamofascism, to be played if the elderly get all radicalized.

[Opus106]

Remove The Diner section.

[karlhenning]

Remove The Diner section.

(* sips hot tea *)

[Dr. Dread]

The correct answer is to make me dictator leader.  0:)

[DavidRoss]

3. Send everyone over the age of 60 to terrorism hot spots...anti-western propaganda will be replaced by discussion about the weather and how much worse young people are nowadays.

Hah!  You must not know many folks over sixty, Sara...they really spend most of their time talking about their aches and pains and bragging about their grandchildren!

[Wendell_E]

World hunger? ... Fat people? Etc.

We could feed the fat people to the hungry ones.

[Dr. Dread]

We could brainwash train some suicide farmers to give their lives to feed the hungry.

[DavidRoss]

We could feed the fat people to the hungry ones.

Respecting the rights of cannibals.  We were talking about this a bit just the other day over at CMG.  Cannibals are victims, oppressed by the Western Judeo-Christian attitude of cultural superiority and lack of respect for the equally valid customs and traditions of other people who are just different.  Take this approach and you'd have no problem selling the idea--especially since feeding the fat people to the hungry ones is the logical extension of the envy-driven welfare state that the ill-educated confuse for "liberal" utopia.