Half a year ago I realized after 2.5 years, that my theory about beauty was wrong or rather unreduced to its basics. I suddently became aware, that the Cage school, which I had known for 6 years, was supposed to be taken literally. I always thought it was a popular easy going philosofy compared to the german school. But the fact is that not untill half a year ago I understood that the beauty can be found anywhere, if one simply open up. Even if my previous ideas made any sence, they wouldn´t be the most reduced form of themself. I came to the conclusion that the *good* is the *neutral*, but not in a cold way.

Since then I have completed a whole piano concerto, that was written entirely by intuition. I have furthermore come to the idea that any kind of analytical thought can be characterized as a delta observation. If you think the musical form with certain stations and processes, you haven´t grasped to imagine the complete developement in the particular frequence of imagination yet. My ideal became to write with no thoughts at all, but absolute conscious about everything!

Others who have ever composed a piece entirely by intuition?

I see it also as a vague term, since at times intuition can be regarded as both logical or emotional. But for me never unstabile! There is also several meanings I think, fx it is not the same to be in a situation, where you have to make your decision even if you feel uncomfortable, but there is also the flow of a light, which seems absolutely right to go with.

And what if you use plenty of math in your composition? Your fundament of composing a piece will always be intuitive, so is the mathematical music less intuitive than the other? I wouldn´t say so, unless one apply mathematical equations without control of it. In theory lessons we have made excercises in Messiaen style, and many of us simply created Messiaen-like math without thinking...just like when you do math in school! This is probably the only case, where the music can be said to be mathematical and not entirely intuitive.

It is still a big question for me, why we have an emotional impulse and rational impulse, that doesn´t seem to have the capacity for sharing data with eachother. If I look at the ocean, I cannot count all the waves during a split second, but my eye can get an experience of them. I tried an experiment, which was to transform this image into my rational consciousness, hoping to see a particular number of waves. It didn´t seem to work, no matter how relaxed I was trying to be. It confuses me, that we have two different sences connected to the same brain, same awareness, but without being able to transform the data from the one to the other completely.

Which makes me consider once again, if the rational thought is really absolutely useless? If we can possibly messure other data with this frequence of the brain, than the emotional and vice versa?

For my whole life I have kept saying that intuition was a lot more powerful than the logical, or should we rather say the rational, since for me intuition is most often more logical than anything else. Many years ago at a museum of modern art, someone told me, that the consciousness consists of 30 impulses pr second, while the subconsciousness is 12 millions. Im not sure if subconsciousness can be strictly defined as the center of intuition, but it was an interresting but yet rational thought.