A Lay Sermon on Reconciliation and Revenge

[Satzaroo]

 

Our Shabbat reading is a mixed bag of R and R: no, not rest and relaxation, but reconciliation and revenge. Jacob dreads the imminent reckoning with Esau, whom years ago, he had defrauded to get their father's blessing. Esau certainly would have been justified in avenging himself against his deceitful brother. Instead of a violent confrontation, however, the two brothers, after some noncommittal chatter, tearfully embrace each other, much to Jacob's relief. But his reprieve from festering anxiety is short lived. At the end of our Torah selection, Shechem, a ­­­­­­­­­­­­heathen­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­ prince, fornicates with Dinah, Jacob's daughter. He professes his love for her and wants to marry her, but to no avail. Two of Jacob's sons, after making false promises to reconcile, avenge Dinah by slaughtering all the inhabitants of the Hivite tribe.

Why are reconciliation and revenge, such diametrically opposed cross sections of the human condition, depicted in the same Torah section? To focus on this universal truth: At times, our actions indeed show that we are a little lower than the angels. At other times, we demonstrate that we are nothing more than a generation of vipers.

I will introduce my commentary with two incidents, one occurring a few years ago that got a lot of press, and one I just recently discovered. Perhaps some of you recall how a rabbi in San Francisco befriended a young skinhead accused of anti-Semitic rampages and, over time, showed the young man how his neo-Nazi creed was mere propaganda rooted in self-hate. In fact, under the rabbi's tutelage, the former skinhead studied Jewish history and developed an abiding respect for Jews. Now that's reconciliation at its best. On the other hand, the following item from on-line Fox News indicates that sometimes revenge is so endemic that it is too late to reconcile with a perceived enemy within the family. In New York City, Mark Schwartz and his wife were recently killed in a car crash. Listen to part of this Jewish man's will: "As for my brother, he will not get anything from me, not one penny, that greedy, jealous, judgmental SOB." Such vindictiveness demonstrates that even in death, revenge has a life of its own.

In our own lives, how many of us would opt for reconciliation instead of revenge? What about in our own temple? Over the years, from time to time, I have seen a shift from harmony to dysfunction, from pulling together to pulling apart. I readily admit that from the time I joined the temple until I stepped down as president, there were some memorable conflicts between temple members —but those antagonisms were appropriately vented at board meetings or in letters to the board. And reconciliation followed, perhaps not as quickly as some members would have liked, but eventually the wound was healed. At no time did a member of the temple openly denounce a fellow congregant in a mass e-mail, as has been done in the past few years, much to my dismay. Now I am not surprised that any one of us in our congregation could feel slighted or wronged. Hurt feelings are natural enough in a temple family, in any family. But it is disheartening that self-righteous rage must compel anyone to document such misgivings in front of the whole temple—in an inflammatory e-mail which could be forwarded to non-temple members throughout and beyond the community. Talk about washing our dirty tallit in public! What can be gained by such exposure? Let's not resort to mass e-mails that inflict humiliation not just on the allegedly guilty person but also, by extension, on the temple itself. Instead, we might arrange a private setting to try to resolve the issue, where reconciliation is the goal, not the perpetuation of a vendetta.

May we always strive to aim at a win-win situation instead of thoughtlessly plunging into negativity with a vengeance. We don't need to muzzle ourselves. But enough is enough. By relying on our better judgment (and with God's guidance), we can constructively deal with the divisiveness in our temple. Let's rededicate ourselves to our mission as a congregation so that we might once again walk humbly with our God.

Throughout many of our frustrations in life—whether we are pacing in the emergency room, or struggling to maneuver in dangerously heavy traffic, or wrestling with a computer glitch, or reeling from an in-your-face relative-- we must at least try to tap into our higher selves rather than resort to our baser instincts. That, I believe, is the message of our Torah reading this Shabbat. Amen.

[Philoctetes]

Isn't there a rule against somone coming back under a different name simply to post?

Because I'm pretty sure that this is Saul under a different guise.

[Satzaroo]

This is not Saul--I am Satzaroo, brother of Bulldog. I don't know who Saul is, but I certainly don't want him to take credit for any of my lay sermons.

[Scarpia]

If you knew Saul you'd know how absurd that suggestion is.

However, this site lends itself to conversation, not rants and diatribes that come out of the blue. 

[Gurn Blanston]

Apparently Satz is unaware of our prohibition on sermonizing. If he had been around long enough, he would know the fate of those who choose that path. Since he hasn't been, we let him slide on this one. I'm sure he will see the wisdom of keeping religious philosophies as a personal thing.

GB


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