Top10 Cliches of the Avant-Garde

[karlhenning]

Oh, I'm crying, here. I like my percussion ensemble music . . . .

[Brian]

Oh, I'm crying, here. I like my percussion ensemble music . . . .

My change of heart mid-post was non-ironic!

[MDL]

LOLZ,.. yea, I've seen that,... that's great!!


Maestro?,... shhh,... he's 'listening'!

Pah! Here's a dog that plays piano and sings along!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiblYasnzWE

[Coco]

Eastern European composers (1970-??): every piece is a Lament or In Memoriam, and for string orchestra

[Grazioso]

Eastern European composers (1970-??): every piece is a Lament or In Memoriam, and for string orchestra

Tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, you will hear my Threnody Lamento Triste in Memoriam of a Failed Student Uprising over Athletic Fees, with dueling triangles obbligato. It was built on the third iteration of my aleatory Fourier transform harmonization technique. The melody goes something like this:



But you need to use your imagination.

[karlhenning]

Goes great with your av, Grazioso! ; )

[Cato]

Decades ago, on public radio, there was some Génie du jour who had fashioned a board so that all 88 keys of the piano could be struck in one of his compositions.

The originality and impact of the effect was "misunderestimated" as I recall.   

[karlhenning]

A little . . . wooden, perhaps.

[Grazioso]

It would have been more impressive if a naked lady trapeze artist bounced off a trampoline onto the keyboard to sound all 88 keys at once. Call me old-fashioned.

[karlhenning]

Couldn't possibly train the lady to distribute the weight equally across all the keys. She would quite spoil the effect.

[Grazioso]

Couldn't possibly train the lady to distribute the weight equally across all the keys. She would quite spoil the effect.

Get her on the Atkins diet! 

[snyprrr]

Get her on the Atkins diet! 

Wow,... do you think you can slap different sized butts to make a scale? Hmmm,...

[snyprrr]

Tonight, Ladies and Gentlemen, you will hear my Threnody Lamento Triste in Memoriam of a Failed Student Uprising over Athletic Fees, with dueling triangles obbligato. It was built on the third iteration of my aleatory Fourier transform harmonization technique. The melody goes something like this:



But you need to use your imagination.

Eastern European composers (1970-??): every piece is a Lament or In Memoriam, and for string orchestra

Music of the Eastern Bloc

Oh yes, the Masters of 'Grey'! brrrrr,... yea, I shudder just thinking of all those sub-par Czechs and Poles,... uh, no offence. And, if it wasn't just Schnittke-like, then it was just ugly, ugly,... you've heard of 'Death Metal'?,... this was 'Black Serial' (oh, and not in the cool way, either). Sorry, but Schnittke gets his own Thread in this area.

[Chaszz]

I would think a piano being thrown out of a window on the 88th floor would produce a masterpiece when it hit the street. This could be followed by the same piece played by two pianos, then three, and so on, producing a whole series of opus numbers in one triumph of conceptual thought. Not to limit oneself to pianos, this could be followed by say, piano quintets, and eventually the instruments of a whole orchestra could be thrown out the window to produce a symphony.

Now that I think of it, why don't I become a composer and do that?...

[eyeresist]

Sounds suspiciously like Haydn's "Farewell Symphony." Now we know where Schnittke got his ideas!

That Haydn was CUH-RAZY!

There's also the gimmick of arranging the musicians around the hall or amongst the audience.

[snyprrr]

Mime With a Trombone

[Grazioso]

Wow,... do you think you can slap different sized butts to make a scale? Hmmm,...

It's certainly worth trying. "Badonk!" Wait, that sounds a bit flat, let me try again...

That Haydn was CUH-RAZY!

There's also the gimmick of arranging the musicians around the hall or amongst the audience.

What the audience should do to get back at show enthusiasm for the composer is to sneak kazoos and harmonicas into the hall and then start playing "Yankee Doodle" and "Mary Had a Little Lamb" at the same time.

[petrarch]

Mime With a Trombone

Does mime with a clarinet work for you? Old Karlheinz has done it...

[some guy]

There's also the gimmick of arranging the musicians around the hall or amongst the audience.

Yeah, that Gabrieli guy, what a buffoon. And Berlioz and Mahler. What is up with those guys?

[AllegroVivace]

10) Helicopters.