Bathrooms

[The Six]

Public parks have the worst, especially around here. Even in fairly high-end areas those bathrooms are just not kept up at all. There's a park in the mountains in Glendale flanked by million dollar homes, yet the cloud of urine that surrounds the bathrooms there would stun a yak. The urinal is basically a bucket attached to the wall that may or may not have a functioning drain. And obviously no soap.

But at least they're open all the time. I was driving back from the beach last week, and had to go, so I stopped at a park. Still daylight out, but the bathrooms were locked. I don't know if there's some epidemic with the homeless building forts around park restrooms at night or whatever, but a public park should keep them open all the time. What could you possibly do to a park bathroom that would necessitate it being locked? I ended up going to a Starbucks, the last bastion of free pooping. I love places that allow you to use the bathroom without having to buy something.

[Mn Dave]

I love places that allow you to use the bathroom without having to buy something.

I've never been made to buy something. How do they know you're not shopping there or about to?

[The Six]

I don't know. Lots of places have signs that say "bathroom for customers only." And there are fast food places that make you ask for a key at the counter first.

On the more positive bathroom side of things, one of the greatest little pleasures is pooping with the bathroom door open. It's liberating and strangely titillating. Not so much if you live alone, but even then there's something to be said for just walking in, doing your business, and finishing without worrying about anyone else.

Also nice is that one poop you'll have where no wiping is needed. You know, it'll happen like once every 20 poops or so, and you look afterward, and the toilet paper is still clean! A perfect poop with no maintenance needed. What a joy of life.

[Mn Dave]

Oh, I really stepped in it this time.

[The new erato]

Oh you two! Get a .....bathroom.

[Mn Dave]

Also nice is that one poop you'll have where no wiping is needed. You know, it'll happen like once every 20 poops or so, and you look afterward, and the toilet paper is still clean! A perfect poop with no maintenance needed. What a joy of life.

It should happen every time.

[karlhenning]

Oh you two! Get a .....bathroom.

They tried. It was locked.

[DavidW]

I've never been made to buy something. How do they know you're not shopping there or about to?

A McD's in San Francisco had a token operated door.  What total jerk faces!!  Anyway there is a great cracked article on public bathrooms... I'll see if I can dig it up.

[Mn Dave]

Oh you two! Get a .....bathroom.

That's the problem, I guess.

[karlhenning]

It should happen every time.

Not just on Evacuation Day . . . .

[mc ukrneal]

On the more positive bathroom side of things, one of the greatest little pleasures is pooping with the bathroom door open.

Huh? I, ummmm, huh?

[Brahmsian]

On the more positive bathroom side of things, one of the greatest little pleasures is pooping with the bathroom door open.

Well, I've heard of 'crop dusting'.  I guess this would be a variation on it:  'crap dusting'.   

[Szykneij]

Not just on Evacuation Day . . . .

... and not just in Suffolk County.

(Does anyone other than Ernie know what we're talking about?)

[DavidW]

Just as a word of warning, this is vulgar and crude (in case you had to be warned on a bathrooms thread)

http://www.cracked.com/funny-4928-public-restrooms/

[The Six]

What's up with those stupid faucets that you have to pound over and over to keep the water flowing. Of course the first couple pounds yield 1 second of water each, so I have to alternate hands, slamming it with a soapy hand while trying desperately to wash off the other, and then on the fifth pound it flows for like 5 minutes long after I'm done, and I have to take the walk of shame looking like the guy wasting water physically abusing a faucet. At least it's good practice for the pounding I'm gonna give the guy who invented those when I find him.

[DavidW]

What's really bad about that is that you are re-contaminating your hands in the process.  Stupid faucet!  I like the ones that auto turnon.  But I don't like it on the toilets or urinals.  For some reason the toilet one won't go off for me and I have to sit back down on the toilet and get up again.  So stupid!

[Brahmsian]

There is a 'Convenient Thread Alignment' opportunity for 'Bathrooms' and 'Gurn's Classical Corner', but I ain't going there. 

[knight66]

I hardly ever use 'public' toilets. I make liberal, and appropriate, use of those in hotels. In fact I use hotels as public buildings. Sometines I buy a drink or coffee, but I often go to decent hotels to sit somewhere and read quietly, write a report, chill.....I have never had any problems, the staff are fine.

On holiday I use the very best hotels in Venice to take the weight off my feet, ditto, London, Birmingham anywhere really that I travel to.

So, no need to get into any sordid public restrooms.

In Barcelona I went to one in an upmarket shopping mall at the top of the Rambla. I walked in, noticed women at the sinks and stepped smartly backwords, heavily onto the instep of someone behind me. One woman hastened to tell me that it was a communal WC. However, as she was reassuring me, looking over her shoulder I had a rather alarming view of a woman. In her 60s, knickers round her ankles, very relaxed and with ALL on display. Not a pretty sight. She clearly had not cottoned on to the fact that the door ought to have frosted over when she locked, it, but in this instance it remained transparent.

I was in such need that I decided that malfunctioning or not...I had to GO. Luckily my closet door worked OK. But why on earth design some such gimmick in a toilet where, well for most of us, privacy is essential and why induce some kind of insecurity in the users? This especially in a unisex facility.

Mike

[Coco]

I use hotels as public buildings. Sometines I buy a drink or coffee, but I often go to decent hotels to sit somewhere and read quietly, write a report, chill.....I have never had any problems, the staff are fine.

I've never thought of that. That's a great idea. I'll have to try it.

[DavidW]

That is a pretty bad public restroom experience Mike!