Topic: Missing Members

[OrchestralNut]

Another member I have not seen for a long time is Marvinbrown (a big Wagner fan)

[Mirror Image]

Yes, he was a familiar name at one time.

Yeah, it was nice having Peter around as he shared a lot of common interests with both of us (and many other members, too).

[Mandryka]

Terrible. Johan, if you read this: all the best, take care!


I miss my French Baroque buddy, Draško (Milos), who had been a member here for a long time but in later years there were some long episodes of absence. A young guy from Serbia, younger than me at least, also very knowledgeable on Russian music and performers.

Three years ago he disappeared off the radar for the last time.  For a long time I assumed he would be back some time.
Last year Facebook reminded me of his birthday - I totally forgot we connected at some point.
From looking at his FB page with the help of Google translate I could deduct that he must have passed away no longer than a year after his last visit here. Friends had posted memorial posts on his birthday. I reached out to one of them to learn more, but never got a reply....

That’s quite a shock. Strange, I feel as though in some real sense I knew him.

[Mandryka]

There is not much to see.

Since I really liked to know what happened, I decide to google his full name yesterday evening. Perhaps I could find an obituary? Well, be careful what you wish for... since his passing turned out to be particularly tragic: he took his own life.
Think a minute if you really want to know the rather disturbing details you can read by clicking HERE (Google translate will take a minute or so)

Rest in peace, Draško.

And now this, as I continue to read. Ask not for whom the bell tolls . . .

[Mandryka]

A life of sadness and isolation. We must bear witness to such circumstances, which may be taking place, unnoticed, in plain sight. All the more shocking because the report on his death is dated 19 days after his last post here, and the circumstances indicate that his death was at least two weeks before the report was published. It is a stark reminder that although we "know" people we encounter on a forum such as this, we have no idea.

And a reminder that behind every post, which emerges from nowhere as it were, is a real human being.

[Mandryka]

Honestly—and I'm not saying this to be judgmental in any way—most people genuinely do not want to know. This is justified to some extent. Learning that someone you care about is suicidal often sparks empathy, which can lead you too to become depressed, or worse. People thus tend to avoid the suicidal and try to limit their empathy, which is why so much of what one hears when one reaches out to others for support is empty platitudes and clichés.

For example I've been planning suicide since the beginning of 2021, which I only bring up to say that I understand the situation. Almost no one I reached out to was helpful, whether family, friends or mental health professionals. At the moment I've structured my life in such a way that I'm committed to staying alive for at least another year, and if I don't there will be severe financial consequences for my family, so the idea of ending my life has been put on hold (possibly indefinitely), but the only way to get through a situation like this and remain alive afterwards is to find some way of headgaming yourself into survival. It's arguably better for your loved ones not to know, and the health profession has very limited capacity to assist you short of sedatives and/or constant surveillance—which, in the long term (at least from my personal experience, again), hurts more than it helps. This constant psychological self-management can wear one down over time as well, but in theory, adopting the sort of lifestyle one would have if one weren't suicidal can lead to a genuine change of heart, as such a lifestyle builds up elements of a life worth living. This is why suicidal people often act outwardly happy and untroubled. It obviously does not work for everyone.

I did not know Draško at all but I hope he's at peace now.

I've got absolutely nothing to say but I just wanted to say, hello. Seems better than saying nothing.

Ah  got it. This is the best I can do.

Cyberhugs (((((((AMW)))))))

[T. D.]

I wonder what happened to King Ubu, who was one of our most knowledgeable jazz lovers and very generous with recommendations and insights.

He's been a long-time poster on a jazz forum I often visit. But his posting there seems to have decreased, most recent one 24 Feb of this year.

[Wakefield]

There is not much to see.

Since I really liked to know what happened, I decide to google his full name yesterday evening. Perhaps I could find an obituary? Well, be careful what you wish for... since his passing turned out to be particularly tragic: he took his own life.
Think a minute if you really want to know the rather disturbing details you can read by clicking HERE (Google translate will take a minute or so)

Rest in peace, Draško.

What terrible news. I was never his friend (even "virtually"). I think we talk just two or three times. The last time about a BBC TV series: "Luther", a policial drama starring Idris Elba. I recommended it. Drasko didn't say anything derogatory, but he thought that "Luther" wasn't fully accurate from a procedural point of view. (now his words have a new meaning). I always loved his avatar and his superb English. His departure instantly reminded me of these verses: 

The cane, the coins, the key-chain,
The docile lock, the late notes
That won't be read by the few days
Left to me, the papers and the chessboard,
A book and in its pages the wilted
Violet, monument to an undoubtedly
Unforgettable and already forgotten evening,
The red occidental mirror in which an illusory
Dawn is burning. How many things,
Files, thresholds, atlases, goblets, nails,
Serve us like silent slaves,
Things blind and strangely secret!
They will last longer than our oblivion;
They will never know that we have left.   

Rest in peace, Draško.

[MusicTurner]

I guess PD/Pohjolas Daughter must be busy with other things; usually quite active, but hasn't been around for a couple of weeks ...

[vandermolen]

I guess PD/Pohjolas Daughter must be busy with other things; usually quite active, but hasn't been around for a couple of weeks ...

Lost in Tuonela again? I hope that she returns soon.

[Rinaldo]

It's just words on the internet, but the humanity that has shone through the past few pages is heartening.

Whenever I'm frustrated by someone's opinion or personality as it appears over the web, I remind myself that the most touching message I received here came from... Todd.

[The new erato]

It's just words on the internet, but the humanity that has shone through the past few pages is heartening.

Whenever I'm frustrated by someone's opinion or personality as it appears over the web, I remind myself that the most touching message I received here came from... Todd.

Nice. And your first name is not even Ludwig?