Fun reviews corner

[jochanaan]

Karajan Livingston Seagull

For some reason that strikes me as devastatingly funny.  Maybe that says something about me--or Karajan...

[Brian]

Today at MusicWeb, I foam at the mouth in rage over the composer Ludovico Einaudi.



"This music could not ask for a better performer. In fact, it probably could not bribe one....Ludovico Einaudi's music offers a generic uplift that's inferior to the real thing, and clueless as to why we might ever need it. This is not music to heal wounds; it is music to pretend wounds do not exist. This music is numbing, insulting and delusional."

[Ken B]

Today at MusicWeb, I foam at the mouth in rage over the composer Ludovico Einaudi.



"This music could not ask for a better performer. In fact, it probably could not bribe one....Ludovico Einaudi's music offers a generic uplift that's inferior to the real thing, and clueless as to why we might ever need it. This is not music to heal wounds; it is music to pretend wounds do not exist. This music is numbing, insulting and delusional."

Wow, I just got a blurb from the publisher:
"Uplift ... Einaudi is a very sincere [arist] ... audiences have found that Einaudi's music moves them ...  truly profound ..." -- Music Web International
That was fast!
















just kidding

[Ken B]

They have to be music reviews? The Amazon reviews here are fun. Plus the Q and A.

[asin]B005MR3IVO[/asin]

[mc ukrneal]

They have to be music reviews? The Amazon reviews here are fun. Plus the Q and A.

Some very clever stuff. A real hoot!

[Brian]

I got hate mail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I reviewed a disc called "Absinthe".



Notice the cover art of the performers as bartenders.

From my review:

The performers are fantastic, and so's the sound. Everyone seems to have had a lot of fun making this album. Oh! I thought of a criticism. This album should not be called "Absinthe". It should be called "Macarons". The last time I had absinthe, my friend got black-out drunk and did some cruel things we both regretted. The last time I had macarons, I was on a boulevard in Paris, at breakfast-time, having dazzling vanilla bean macarons from Mori Yoshida, feeling a heady combination of excitement and inner peace. So forget about absinthe. This disc won't give you a hangover or hallucinations or an urge to do stupid things. This disc is macarons.

Get an assortment of pastries, then use your computer to rearrange the tracks for a wine-tasting. Pair the Schocker pieces with brut rosé champagne, Reynaldo Hahn with an Alsace pinot blanc, and Nicolas Bacri with a dark, bold red, perhaps something from the Languedoc or Bandol. Save Satie for the end, and present it with something sweet.

Behold, the hate mail I got!!

Boozy Brian

Does Brian Reinhart consider the CD an acceptable purchase for those of us who are teetotallers, particularly those whose earlier lives have been blighted by the alcoholic self-indulgences of others?

[North Star]

I got hate mail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I reviewed a disc called "Absinthe".



Notice the cover art of the performers as bartenders.

From my review:
Behold, the hate mail I got!!

I read this post while finishing some macaroni. 

[Ken B]

I got hate mail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I reviewed a disc called "Absinthe".



Notice the cover art of the performers as bartenders.

From my review:
Behold, the hate mail I got!!

Lucky for you Einaudi fans are too stoned to email!

[Karl Henning]

Does he think, because he is virtuous, there will be no counterpoint and I.P.A.?

[Ken B]

[EigenUser]

This made my day, and it is only 6:30AM here (I like Boulez, but I do not like his early piano works):

http://www.amazon.com/review/RQ914TTZ4SGYZ/ref=cm_cr_pr_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=B00000147K#wasThisHelpful

My niece bought this CD mistakenly after she was advised by my sister to buy a Berlioz album as a gift for me. As they say, 'it is the thought that counts', and I was happy that she was thouhtful enough to get a gift for her aunt on her birthday.

Having never heard of this composer before, I thought I may enjoy the CD anyway. How wrong I was.

On this album one will not find a single touching moment or memorable melody. It is almost as if the composer is a sadist intent on hurting his listeners. I actually wondered if it should be considered a talent to be able to make music sound so unmusical. I speak in all sincerity when I say this is the worst music I have heard in my entire life.

I saw that, fortunately, this page contains samples of this "music", so I needn't speak of it at length as you can hear for yourself how truly ghastly it is.

This man clearly needs to redirect his interests, as any talents he may have reside outside the world of music.

You would do well to steer clear of this album unless you have a strong masochistic streak.

[Jo498]

Darn those Frenchies with their confusing names...

[Brian]

Hey Mirror Image, are you Transfigured Knight on Amazon? Because I found that person's review of "Marsalis Plays Monk" and was curious how they would rate the rest of the Standard Time series.

[Ken B]

Hey Mirror Image, are you Transfigured Knight on Amazon? Because I found that person's review of "Marsalis Plays Monk" and was curious how they would rate the rest of the Standard Time series.

He is.

[Mirror Image]

Hey Mirror Image, are you Transfigured Knight on Amazon? Because I found that person's review of "Marsalis Plays Monk" and was curious how they would rate the rest of the Standard Time series.

I am and Marsalis Plays Monk wasn't a good recording the best I can remember.

[EigenUser]

Boulez's Piano Sonatas are the essence of the man, my favorites out of everything he has done ... bonafide masterpieces, you should give them more time to grow on you - you will like them eventually if you already like Boulez's other stuff.

Perhaps one day, but these were the first serialist works I ever heard and they put such a bad taste in my mouth that I disregarded Boulez entirely for a while (too long). It isn't that I don't think that they are compositions of merit. It's just that I don't enjoy them now.

BTW, even if I liked them, I would still find the review just as amusing.

[Mookalafalas]

Marsalis Plays Monk wasn't a good recording the best I can remember.

  I believe you! I don't dislike Marsalis, but the idea of him trying to play Monk makes me a bit nauseous.  His "Live at Blues Alley" is rip-roaring. It's over-intellectualized, but played with audacity by a group with phenomenal technical chops. Got rid of all my other (Wynton) Marsalis stuff 20 years ago (I liked Brandon better, but haven't played any of his music since the 90s, I think). 

[Ken B]

the idea of him trying to play Monk makes me a bit nauseous

An entry for Cato's Grammar Grumble! From an English prof!
My cup runneth over!!!

[Mookalafalas]

An entry for Cato's Grammar Grumble! From an English prof!
My cup runneth over!!!

  Supposed to be nauseated rather than nauseous?  Eventually usage will always trump the rule-book...frankly, I would feel pompous saying "nauseated". Next time I'll be more careful of my grammar and say "Makes me feel like ralphing."

[EigenUser]

You must be young if this sort of thing is amusing ..

Indeed. 23.

But, if you are implying that I won't be able to have a sense of humor even about some of the most enduring pieces (regardless of what I think of them) when I'm older -- well... I'd hate to lose that.