That Ol' Self-Same Shed

[Todd]

This is outrageous.  Pizza, or even the mention of pizza, has no place in Shedism.  It is heresy.  One must go back to original teachings and adhere strictly to them.

[Karl Henning]

Isn't the first time I've adhered to pepperoni.

[springrite]

This is outrageous.  Pizza, or even the mention of pizza, has no place in Shedism.  It is heresy.  One must go back to original teachings and adhere strictly to them.

Fundamentalism is everywhere... even in the shed...

[Gold Knight]

One tenet of shedism is absolute and unwavering: To attract our feline friends and neighbors, the pizza must be topped with anchovies. 

[Karl Henning]

Pizza is but one sort of victual in the Shed.

[Gold Knight]

 Quote from: karlhenning on Today at 03:42:06 PM

Pizza is but one sort of victual in the Shed.

 
I shall have to keep that in mind! Thanks for pointing it out. 

[petrarch]

All cats, all composers, all possible motives for composition: the Shed contains the lot.

What if Schrödinger opens the door of the Shed?

[springrite]

What if Schrödinger opens the door of the Shed?

One small step for Schrödinger, one Quantum Leap for Shedism?

[petrarch]

One small step for Schrödinger, one Quantum Leap for Shedism?

But what is the state of the cats? How can you be sure?

[ibanezmonster]

To achieve the true state of the Shed, one must first shed the Shed.   To shed the Shed, one must first enter it.  To enter the Shed, one must first find it.  To find the Shed, one must first achieve the true state of the Shed.  There, to achieve the true state of the Shed, one must first achieve the true state of the Shed.  But order pizza, one merely first calls Pizza Shed.
--Shih Tzu: Shed Ching [The Book of Shed]

Here's the Evil Pagan Viking sect version of this verse:

To achieve the true state of the Shed requires contact with the multi-unanything. The multi-unanything exists in the non-universe. To enter the non-universe, one must first give up finding it. To truly give up finding it, one must never learn about the Shed. Thus, all religious adherents to the Shed are pagans to the Shed religion, and all who have never heard about the Shed are adherents to the religion of the Shed. Shed paganism is the only true path, and Shed pagans who renounce the pagan aspect of their beliefs shall be sought out and slayed publicly.

Pizza may be served, but expect delivery drivers to arrive via Viking ship. Prepare to have your home pillaged if a generous tip is not provided. Also, your pizza consists of sauce made out of the blood of newborns, "cheese" (whose ingredients shall not be mentioned), and burnt human flesh as crust. Valuable gold coins and/or your daughter shall be the only acceptable forms of payment.
--Shih Tzu: Shed Ching [The Book of Shed] (Evil Pagan New Age Viking translation)

[Gold Knight]

OUCH! How about we switch to Chinese food being delivered instead?

[kishnevi]

What if Schrödinger opens the door of the Shed?

He can only open one of many possible potential Sheds, reducing the potential Shed to actual Shed, but all other potential Sheds, and the cats they contain, will remain potential, and still possible to open by other potential Schrodingers.

[kishnevi]

OUCH! How about we switch to Chinese food being delivered instead?

No good.  Then it simply switches to delivery by the Mongol Horde, and you know how they are about being paid.

[springrite]

OUCH! How about we switch to Chinese food being delivered instead?

Innocent Americans still don't know what's actually in Chinese food...

[drogulus]

    Let me give this joke the Shed Test:

    Two mathematicians are sitting in a bar watching a building across the street. They see 2 people go in the building, a little later they see 3 people leave. So one says to the other, "If one more person enters the building it will be empty."

       

[Elgarian]

Quickly modifying this before the Shed Police arrest you for non-observance of basic Shed rituals:

Two mathematicians are sitting in a bar eating pizza watching a building across the street the Shed. They see 2 people go in the building Shed, a little later they see 3 people leave. So one says to the other, "If one more person enters the building Shed it will be empty."

[Elgarian]

There was a young fellow who said,
"I want some more pizza and bread!"
"Oh no," said his Mum,
"It'll upset your tum.
Be off now, and tidy the Shed."

[Karl Henning]

All the pizza hot and cold,
All cats whenever bred,
All composers short and tall,
They're all within the Shed.

[Karl Henning]

Innocent Americans still don't know what's actually in Chinese food...

I don't know what it is — but I know that it, too, is contained in the Shed.

[Wanderer]

Yes, it is! 

Wait for it...

http://www.youtube.com/v/QwUMuuWVwyY