The Dating Thread

[Mirror Image]

What do you think about inviting someone to see a movie with you? Rarely, if ever, would using the word "date" not be extremely awkward, and that doesn't really help you feel relaxed. I used to use this "movie" question, though not sure why I don't any more.

Personally, a movie date is one of the worst ones to have at first, because there's little talking involved. The dinner date, IMHO, is better because you can at least talk to each other and get to know one another. If things progress from the dinner than see if she would like to catch a movie with you. This seems like a better scenario than going to a movie first. Hell, you can even back up a step and just see if she would like to get coffee with you so you could get to know each other. If there's some chemistry, then you could ask her if she'd like to have dinner with you and that could be your first date, then, hopefully, things will progress with each successive date.

I tried the waiting thing... doesn't really work if they have a hard time letting go of someone.

Well, if they're having a hard time letting go of someone, then move onto the next woman. It's that simple. Not worth your time.

[Sergeant Rock]

What do you think about inviting someone to see a movie with you? Rarely, if ever, would using the word "date" not be extremely awkward

Of course. I never used the word date when asking a women out. It was always specific, with a place and time. My long-term relationships began with: Would you like to go to the Christmas Formal with me? Would you like to get a cup of tea? Would you like to go to Cedar Point (an amusement park)? Would you like to go to the Mahler Second concert? Would you walk with me to the duck pond across campus (that's when I was dirt poor and all I could afford    She said yes  )

I think a movie can be good if it's combined with dinner (either before or after). It gives you something to talk about and gives you a break from conversation, a chance to regroup. I have had great first dates that included a movie.

Sarge

[The new erato]

Well, if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably is.....a date at the duck pond.

[Sergeant Rock]

Well, if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably is.....a date at the duck pound.

Sarge

[Madiel]

Personally, a movie date is one of the worst ones to have at first, because there's little talking involved. The dinner date, IMHO, is better because you can at least talk to each other and get to know one another. If things progress from the dinner than see if she would like to catch a movie with you. This seems like a better scenario than going to a movie first. Hell, you can even back up a step and just see if she would like to get coffee with you so you could get to know each other. If there's some chemistry, then you could ask her if she'd like to have dinner with you and that could be your first date, then, hopefully, things will progress with each successive date.

Movies are fine, but make it movie followed by either coffee or dinner. Because then you can talk about the movie. You have a ready-made topic of conversation from a shared experience.

[snyprrr]

Just chatted with my friend who I used to try to date. I asked her if there is anything that women find repulsive about me so she could help out.

She said:

I thought she was the best person to ask since she has some insider knowledge and she does genuinely care about me. Now I'm not so sure how useful some of that advice is. Only girls can put in no effort and get results. Is "stop trying" really a good thing to do? I've done plenty of that...



If she doesn't understand what I meant when I asked, "Are you completely broken up with x? If so, do you want to hang out with me?" then maybe she's just too dumb to date. I originally planned to use the word "date" tonight, but she looked like she was about to die from lack of sleep, so it just didn't feel right- kind of a selfish thing to ask at that moment.

"Girl Advice" is the most awful thing ever invented. Do the OPPOSITE of whatever they tell you?

"Just stop trying"--- UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH


Greg- we haaave to be clear- are you looking to score or are you looking for a soul mate? If the latter, go to Romans, Chapter 1. If the former, well, you really are going to have to redefine what it means to "lie" to a girl. I can tell you're too sensitive about what you THINK is a lie- the girls (all of them) already have you where they want you- you're already fucked. You've GOT to start thinking of them as alien beings.


If that one girl is "fun to be around", well, what more do you want?

Greg--- TODAY--- THIS VERY DAY--- I want you to go up to three women that cross your path. AS SOON AS THEY LOOK AT YOU- feign surprise and say, "Wow, you.are. ab.so.loute.ly. go-juss. R U single???" THAT'S WHAT THEY THINK DUMB DOG BOYS DO---- SO DO IT!!!!!! You can impress her later with your knowledge of My Little Pony.



tap tap tap        tap tap tap




I'm thinking....




tap tap tap     tap tap tap



My only advice today is to go out and practice being rejected. Learn to  SEE- ENGAGE-DISCARD. First you see her, then you engage. If you're immediately rejected- move quickly along- don't allow time to make you feel a sting-- be on to the next one--- quick quick  move move

NOOOW!!! GO---


(also, try a fresh shave today--- it'll grow back)








OK- some fresh advice fell from the sky--- DRESS UP--- put on your fanciest duds and go shopping--- go to GoodWill and get a sharkskin suit for $10--- pimp out--- mack daddy--- watch some '70s blaxploitation--- get hip--- put on airs---

FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT SOLDIER



lie lie lie--- just tell a girl you make $100,000--- see what happens---- JUST SEE---- this IS an "Experiment", right? DO IT!!!!!



fuck- this Thread is making me feel 10X more desperate than I was two days ago!

[AnthonyAthletic]

Wouldn't you think that all you guys who are after gals would just spend less time on this Feckin Forum and go hunting tang instead of talking about it?

You ain't gonna find whoopeeee sittin down replying to this post or any above.

Go hunting.

If your main chat up line is 'how'dya like Brian, Ades or indeed Schnittke', then you are really Royally Fecked.

[Karl Henning]

Hey, babe -- wanna dig some Schnittke?

[ibanezmonster]

Greg- we haaave to be clear- are you looking to score or are you looking for a soul mate?

Um, somewhere in the middle. There's prostitutes for the former and the latter sounds a bit too intense and possibly time consuming.
Might be hard to lie about the $100,000 a year thing considering the external condition of my car...
(though give me about 10 years and it won't be a lie)

Wouldn't you think that all you guys who are after gals would just spend less time on this Feckin Forum and go hunting tang instead of talking about it?

You ain't gonna find whoopeeee sittin down replying to this post or any above.

Go hunting.

If your main chat up line is 'how'dya like Brian, Ades or indeed Schnittke', then you are really Royally Fecked.

I'm only on this forum a bit more than I plan to because I basically do homework all day and then go to work. Tomorrow I'll be switching gyms and hanging out with my friend, so that's my plans for the week... idk, maybe I'll go bowling one day alone or something...

[Mirror Image]

Hey, babe -- wanna dig some Schnittke?

Zing, Karl!

[ibanezmonster]

I see snyprrr has been reading some PUA material, eh? I used to read a little of that years ago, though it never really clicked. There's nothing likeable or inspiring about it. But I realized today an inspiring personality that has the same effect... when you can, snyprrr, I'd suggest you watch The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and To Love-Ru Darkness to know what I'm talking about.

Haruhi is the character I'm referring to. Today, just totally forgetting my reality (which would make other guys crazy, like that one guy who is younger than me and killed a bunch of people) and thinking about living her persona, I felt pretty good, to say the least.

A mistake I think I've made is being too sensitive to other people's feelings. I don't like asking people out when I could end up really annoying them; I know this because I've been there and someone you don't like trying to date or flirt with you gets really irritating and makes you just want to avoid them. And being the first girl that I've known in 8 years who is single + no kids + desirable, it makes me wonder how many years I'm going to have to wait for that combination to appear again.

And that leads me to my mentioning of the show To Love-Ru Darkness. I think this could be seen as a sort of parody of feminism and women's advice for how guys should act. The premise is that this high school boy is a really polite, well-mannered and respectful young man (the embodiment of how women says guys should be), but for some reason two girls love him and he can't choose between them (the two girls in my avatar). Eventually, over 10 more girls love him as well and one tries to plan a harem for him and make him king of the universe. The whole show is completely unbelievable because, for one, he is so respectful towards women that he whenever one makes a move to get his attention, he freaks out and doesn't do anything back and just locks up. Yet they love him even more. And that's why it's so funny- it's just such a contrast from anything believable in reality.

[lisa needs braces]

Look, it's simple. Men simply have it harder these days. The issue is that, since the sexual revolution, society stopped oppressing the sexuality of both genders. The effect has been to bring into full force the somewhat polygamous nature of human sexuality such that, in today's America, a sexually attractive man can dominate multiple women's "best years." For example, a sexually attractive man can date a woman in her 20s and, when she turns 30, start dating a different woman in her 20s. This serial hoarding of female erotic capital ends up having an effect similar to that of polygamy, at least as far as the sexual availability of women in their late teens to early 30s is concerned. In his 1994 book The Moral Animal, journalist Robert Wright points to data that shows the number of never married men has increased since the sexual revolution, and he implies female erotic capital hoarding as a cause.

I'm not shallow but there is no way I'm going to date a woman I'm not sexually attracted to, and what I've been seeing in the mass culture is that many normal, average, even attractive men, have to "date down" significantly just to get girlfriends.

This is not atypical:



Online dating, and outright casual sex apps like Tinder, are the playground of all young women and attractive men. Average guys need not show up.

(This 4chan cartoon is very NSFW but it illustrates the reality of online dating.)

http://i.imgur.com/hNtH7B9.jpg

[ibanezmonster]

I guess that's more motivation to go to the gym and make money. As long as you are in your 30's (even older sometimes), you can still date girls in their 20's. That lady makes me want to vomit. Or run away, pouring acid behind me. (So excuse me while I turn into a gym douche)...

[ibanezmonster]

Though to be honest, I don't think I've ever known a guy with multiple girlfriends, but I've known several girls with multiple boyfriends. Not sure how that fits into your idea, though (and I've known plenty more guys than girls)...

[Karl Henning]

Well, some guys out there, you need a flock of four guys to eke out a full person's worth of interest.  So I entirely see that.

[snyprrr]

Look, it's simple. Men simply have it harder these days. The issue is that, since the sexual revolution, society stopped oppressing the sexuality of both genders. The effect has been to bring into full force the somewhat polygamous nature of human sexuality such that, in today's America, a sexually attractive man can dominate multiple women's "best years." For example, a sexually attractive man can date a woman in her 20s and, when she turns 30, start dating a different woman in her 20s. This serial hoarding of female erotic capital ends up having an effect similar to that of polygamy, at least as far as the sexual availability of women in their late teens to early 30s is concerned. In his 1994 book The Moral Animal, journalist Robert Wright points to data that shows the number of never married men has increased since the sexual revolution, and he implies female erotic capital hoarding as a cause.

I'm not shallow but there is no way I'm going to date a woman I'm not sexually attracted to, and what I've been seeing in the mass culture is that many normal, average, even attractive men, have to "date down" significantly just to get girlfriends.

This is not atypical:



Online dating, and outright casual sex apps like Tinder, are the playground of all young women and attractive men. Average guys need not show up.

(This 4chan cartoon is very NSFW but it illustrates the reality of online dating.)

http://i.imgur.com/hNtH7B9.jpg

rreeeeeeeally fuckin up my day wit dat

GREG- abes Post is all the Truth you need---- meet your new girlfriend

oh man you don't know how real that is



CAN I BE RUDE FOR A MOMENT?

Around here- when I'm at the local grocers- I have never ever in my life seen soooooo many- and I mean statistically explosive- numbers of geeky white guys with ghetto sistas--- and like the black comedian says "At least there's  one thing we

ok, nevermind you wouldn't understand

Um, somewhere in the middle. There's prostitutes for the former and the latter sounds a bit too intense and possibly time consuming.
Might be hard to lie about the $100,000 a year thing considering the external condition of my car...
(though give me about 10 years and it won't be a lie)


I'm only on this forum a bit more than I plan to because I basically do homework all day and then go to work. Tomorrow I'll be switching gyms and hanging out with my friend, so that's my plans for the week... idk, maybe I'll go bowling one day alone or something...

WOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHH

Wait a minute----- "prostitutes" are NOT for "scoring"

LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR!!

As I understand it (from others), prostitutes are WORKING- what they do is---- "work"---- SO----get this----- they want you DONE ASAP-- as soon as possible--- and apparently they know how to make you sploosh before you even get it up---- "hey, get the fuck away from my prostate"--- they will do their little magic trick that has you out the door in UNDER TWO MINUTES

THAT'S NOT NOT NOT   SCORING!!!

let me repeat


WHAT YOU GET FROM A HOOKER IS NOT NOT NOT SEX--- it's more like going to some fretail joint to get something mundane done---- you will NOT have that "I just scored" feeling--- you will have the "I paid $120 for THAAAT??" and be really pissed---- fuck, you could have taken out a girl for the best date of her life for a wisely spent 120.


so, Greg, hookers are NOT part of THIS problem. You will literally be no better off with a one-time 120 (sn)ow job--- likely MORE depressed


Let's just get the hooker thing out of the conversation entirely---- that shit's gonna make me mad--- we're not here to simply buckle over and... and.... PAY FEDERAL RESERVE NOTES!!!!! to some non-BBB wholesaler.

C'mon

I see snyprrr has been reading some PUA material, eh? I used to read a little of that years ago, though it never really clicked. There's nothing likeable or inspiring about it. But I realized today an inspiring personality that has the same effect... when you can, snyprrr, I'd suggest you watch The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and To Love-Ru Darkness to know what I'm talking about.

Haruhi is the character I'm referring to. Today, just totally forgetting my reality (which would make other guys crazy, like that one guy who is younger than me and killed a bunch of people) and thinking about living her persona, I felt pretty good, to say the least.

A mistake I think I've made is being too sensitive to other people's feelings. I don't like asking people out when I could end up really annoying them; I know this because I've been there and someone you don't like trying to date or flirt with you gets really irritating and makes you just want to avoid them. And being the first girl that I've known in 8 years who is single + no kids + desirable, it makes me wonder how many years I'm going to have to wait for that combination to appear again.

And that leads me to my mentioning of the show To Love-Ru Darkness. I think this could be seen as a sort of parody of feminism and women's advice for how guys should act. The premise is that this high school boy is a really polite, well-mannered and respectful young man (the embodiment of how women says guys should be), but for some reason two girls love him and he can't choose between them (the two girls in my avatar). Eventually, over 10 more girls love him as well and one tries to plan a harem for him and make him king of the universe. The whole show is completely unbelievable because, for one, he is so respectful towards women that he whenever one makes a move to get his attention, he freaks out and doesn't do anything back and just locks up. Yet they love him even more. And that's why it's so funny- it's just such a contrast from anything believable in reality.

PUA stuff------ pffft------- remember my list???

1) Ridiculously good looking

2) Awesome dance moves

3) Money Money Money


There's a PUA debunking vid somewhere---- FACT IS ---- IT'S AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL ABOUT THE LOOKS----

There's a TV show where the two meet in the dark--- make a great spiritual connection--- and then, one at a time, each gets to see the other. When the girl saw that her new SOUL MATE was shorter, less hair, and geeky----- fuck no she didn't want that shit--- errr I mean SoulMate (TM).

THAT'S WHY I SAY DITCH THE GOATEE!!

A goatee says "My owner hasn't had sex since I've been around."




I'm most certainly not a PUA Practitioner (did well in college)- I'm the guy who says, when I meet someone new, "I'll just be really suave and charming the first time, and the next time I see her I'll ask her on a nice..." OH FUCK- the next time you see her she with Mr. Neck Tattoo--- you dumb fucker, don't be a snyprrr like that--- fffuuu---- DO IT NOW--- WHILST IT IS CALLED "TODAY"

THERE IS NO TOMORROW



DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM



(a squirrel comes a puts a cool damp cloth on snyprrr's weary brow)

"Now... go youngling."

[Karl Henning]

CAN I BE RUDE FOR A MOMENT?

Perfect opportunity to avail oneself of the FREE benefit of The Filter, bud.

[jochanaan]

...

They look like a lovely couple!  Love their smiles!

Greg, I think she gave you at least one piece of very good advice: the one about "trying too hard."  In my experience, meeting soul mates happens just when I've resigned myself to living as a single man. -- But that's one good thing (among an infinite number) of a real belief in God, as opposed to a mere "religion:" I can trust Him to take care of my needs for companionship, romance and adventure.

[Madiel]

A quick word to some of the guys in this thread: if you're going to be so incredibly shallow about women, don't be put out when they do the same to you.

Best of luck, Greg, but I sure as hell wouldn't see this thread as helping you that much. Still, what do I know, I'm single and gay so I can't tell you what women want. But I suspect the first thing they want is to be treated like equal human beings.

[ibanezmonster]

Wait a minute----- "prostitutes" are NOT for "scoring"

LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR!!

As I understand it (from others), prostitutes are WORKING- what they do is---- "work"---- SO----get this----- they want you DONE ASAP-- as soon as possible--- and apparently they know how to make you sploosh before you even get it up---- "hey, get the fuck away from my prostate"--- they will do their little magic trick that has you out the door in UNDER TWO MINUTES

THAT'S NOT NOT NOT   SCORING!!!

let me repeat


WHAT YOU GET FROM A HOOKER IS NOT NOT NOT SEX--- it's more like going to some fretail joint to get something mundane done---- you will NOT have that "I just scored" feeling--- you will have the "I paid $120 for THAAAT??" and be really pissed---- fuck, you could have taken out a girl for the best date of her life for a wisely spent 120.


so, Greg, hookers are NOT part of THIS problem. You will literally be no better off with a one-time 120 (sn)ow job--- likely MORE depressed


Let's just get the hooker thing out of the conversation entirely---- that shit's gonna make me mad--- we're not here to simply buckle over and... and.... PAY FEDERAL RESERVE NOTES!!!!! to some non-BBB wholesaler.

Um, yeah, forget I mentioned that. Hookers aren't meant to be a part of this conversation.

They look like a lovely couple!  Love their smiles!

Couple? I see a man and a giant pufferfish. This is a fishing photo, not a couple's photo.

Greg, I think she gave you at least one piece of very good advice: the one about "trying too hard."

I agree. Her advice is a mixed bag with some good snippets. That's why I asked.
I try not to try too hard, but when I can't say I feel like I have a special connection to any of the girls I've asked out before, it probably doesn't help. Either that or never ask anyone out...

In my experience, meeting soul mates happens just when I've resigned myself to living as a single man.

I came to that point about 5 years ago. Of course, if I see someone interesting, I'll go for it, because you can't expect girls to come up to you. But in my experience, you can be as comfortable as you can being by yourself and it doesn't make any sort of difference.

A quick word to some of the guys in this thread: if you're going to be so incredibly shallow about women, don't be put out when they do the same to you.

Best of luck, Greg, but I sure as hell wouldn't see this thread as helping you that much. Still, what do I know, I'm single and gay so I can't tell you what women want. But I suspect the first thing they want is to be treated like equal human beings.

If you like to date guys that are waaaaaaay less attractive than you (imagine a gay version of the picture above and you are the guy), then fine. Just don't expect me to do the same.

Looks are an extremely important part of dating, though not everything. If I hated everything about an extremely attractive girl, I wouldn't ask them out. Of course, women are equal human beings, but that pufferfish that people for some reason think is a woman is not equal in terms of looks to that guy. A female with a great personality I'll gladly befriend. But if they are shaped like a pufferfish, I'll be too grossed out to even want to touch them.