The Dating Thread

[Madiel]

There are commonalities to what men find attractive, and physical attractiveness is what most men overwhelmingly judge their mates by. Unless that guy is a chubby chaser, he's dating down.

You're telling a gay guy there are commonalities? Seriously? The fact that you like breasts and I don't doesn't give you pause?

In Mauritania, they tend to like their women very large and curvy. They did in Europe a couple of centuries ago as well. Heck, in America in the 40s they liked curves.  The idea that all men inherently like the same thing, as opposed to following current cultural and advertising trends like sheep, is demonstrably wrong.

[Ken B]

There are commonalities to what men find attractive, and physical attractiveness is what most men overwhelmingly judge their mates by. Unless that guy is a chubby chaser, he's dating down.

Well Orfeo's objection is off base anyway. The effect you are positing, convincingly I think, is an empirical and statistical one. Take a largish sample of men and women of the relevant age groups and have them ranked by a largish sample of the opposite sex for attractiveness. Then examine the pairings, and those who are single. You predict a discrepancy between the rankings of those members in pairs.
Some tricky issues in the use of ordinal data but I think a valid test is possible.
(For completeness you would have to compare to a more sexually conservative culture or time, since you posit that as a cause.)
(As Abe notes as well, there are some well documented measures of attractiveness in western culture, such as facial symmetry, certain ratios etc. could rank on those .)

[ibanezmonster]

NOW- ON TO GREG'S LOVE LIFE!!

At this point we can move past this...

Also, the whole alpha male myth is one of THE most dangerous and revolting things in out culture, as revealed in the wake of the guy in California who killed his roommates and a number of other people because the world wasn't giving him what he was 'entitled' to. Never thought I'd see it here.

I wish it were a myth that most women find what they deem "alpha males" more desirable. 

You're telling a gay guy there are commonalities? Seriously? The fact that you like breasts and I don't doesn't give you pause?

In Mauritania, they tend to like their women very large and curvy. They did in Europe a couple of centuries ago as well. Heck, in America in the 40s they liked curves.  The idea that all men inherently like the same thing, as opposed to following current cultural and advertising trends like sheep, is demonstrably wrong.

Curves are attractive. Obesity is not, and that "lady" is obese.

[Ken B]

You're telling a gay guy there are commonalities? Seriously? The fact that you like breasts and I don't doesn't give you pause?

In Mauritania, they tend to like their women very large and curvy. They did in Europe a couple of centuries ago as well. Heck, in America in the 40s they liked curves.  The idea that all men inherently like the same thing, as opposed to following current cultural and advertising trends like sheep, is demonstrably wrong.

His argument is statistical. "Sheep" show patterns. Your own comment refutes you.
His argument is also confined to one culture and one time, not 13th century Mongolia.

[kishnevi]

There are commonalities to what men find attractive, and physical attractiveness is what most men overwhelmingly judge their mates by. Unless that guy is a chubby chaser, he's dating down.

Or maybe she is smart.  Or is a good cook.  Or a good Christian. Or (being cynical,  but I think it less offensive than Abe's misanthropy) she has a trust fund. 
With every girl I dated or contemplated dating,  physical charms were a welcome bonus but well down on the list of reasons I was interested.

[ibanezmonster]

Or maybe she is smart.  Or is a good cook.  Or a good Christian. Or (being cynical,  but I think it less offensive than Abe's misanthropy) she has a trust fund. 
With every girl I dated or contemplated dating,  physical charms were a welcome bonus but well down on the list of reasons I was interested.

That's true. I see the mistake we are making- overgeneralizing other men. Not to mention Abe's assertion about how guys are wired to be serial monogamists if they can be. Somewhat misandrist, we are... 

[Ken B]

Also, the whole alpha male myth is one of THE most dangerous and revolting things in out culture,

What myth is this?

[ibanezmonster]

What myth is this?

Probably the "myth" that this is not how it really is:

https://www.youtube.com/v/yTO6fAJf1GM

[snyprrr]

One of the stupidest of the stupid things in this thread is to assume that everyone finds the same things attractive. To take a photo of a couple, decide that YOU don't find the girl attractive (from a photo and nothing else about her) and therefore THE GUY IN THE PHOTO doesn't find her attractive and is "dating down" shows an astonishingly poor reasoning process.

The mere fact that some guys like girls and some guys like guys is enough to disprove there is some objective standard of attractiveness.

There was a crack about whether I date people less attractive than myself. No, I date people I find attractive. I know even amongst my gay friends that who we find attractive differs, and that it depends on both looks and personality. I also know that some people find ME attractive and some don't.

Just put away your scorecards and look for mutual attraction. Who gives a damn whether someone else thinks the same.

And Greg, one extra tip I'll give you is never, ever let any girl you like see the remarks you've made about the girl in the photo.

He would raaather she not have three guts. I'm sure he "likes" her though.

Question: Do you Gay Men think she's pretty? (just man up and answer please!) I'm going to assume for the argument's sake that you said yes, and yes, Science Agrees, the girl has a "pretty face" and "nice eyes" and a "pretty smile". She's also "fat".











Frankly, I'd like nothing better than to turn the table on the Gay Men here. I believe they are hiding behind their keyboards- I want to troll them out into the open and declare the fact Gay Men's stereotypical traits of extreme vanity may not be in vain. When we get such answers where people are talking 'attractiveness' we know something is being hid. That men would gaze upon men the way they gaze upon women indicates a level of... of... mm... how to say??... mm...

"Would you let thaaat fuck you honey?"

I guess the ole Gay Men have never been desperate - soooo desperate, that you'd ever have to stoop so low . I mean, I haaave heard the guys are horney, so, I could kind of see why Gay Men might not understand the Male Desperation Syndrome, and the curt language that sometimes accompanies it.

Apparently, Greg, there is one benefit for the Gay Man- he WILL get Laid Big Time- no worries here mate! Apparently, our friends have found the perfect solution for you!! Go get 'em tiger!!

(you guys are good, tee hee!!)

Also, the whole alpha male myth is one of THE most dangerous and revolting things in out culture, as revealed in the wake of the guy in California who killed his roommates and a number of other people because the world wasn't giving him what he was 'entitled' to. Never thought I'd see it here.

wah wah- coddled psychotropic prissy boy who was obvious a Gay Man inside his beating heart does not make a good counter argument. It is the haters who have brought the women hate to this Thread (because they want Greg for themselves!!).

We love women and are saddened to see how the culture has turned against them.

[snyprrr]

I see you guys lurking!

[Sammy]

A few observations:

1.  If you're having some trouble getting women, stop making excuses by reading articles/books, blaming females or other guys.  Look to yourself.
2.  Women are not alien creatures; they're a lot like guys, so always emphasize the similarities. 
3.  Movies make for a great first date.  You can hear her breathe, smell her essence and even whisper in her ear.  By the time the movie is over, you'll know if you want to see her again.
4.  Be it God or Mother Nature, the getting together of a man and woman is totally natural.  Don't fret the lack of success, because the odds are in your favor.
5.  Don't be a phony.  Do be confident and proud of yourself.
6.  STOP WORRYING about it.  Just get out there and go for who you want.
7.  Make sure you don't spend most of your waking hours without women in the vicinity.  You can't date them if you can't meet them.

[jochanaan]

...Couple? I see a man and a giant pufferfish. This is a fishing photo, not a couple's photo. ...Looks are an extremely important part of dating, though not everything. If I hated everything about an extremely attractive girl, I wouldn't ask them out. Of course, women are equal human beings, but that pufferfish that people for some reason think is a woman is not equal in terms of looks to that guy. A female with a great personality I'll gladly befriend. But if they are shaped like a pufferfish, I'll be too grossed out to even want to touch them.

That, friend Greg, is part of your problem.

[ibanezmonster]

7.  Make sure you don't spend most of your waking hours without women in the vicinity.  You can't date them if you can't meet them.

Yeah... that's the only part of online classes that sucks. 30-40 hours a week at home, alone, doing homework because the nearest university is too far and expensive to drive to.

That, friend Greg, is part of your problem.

I don't think so, because even if I liked that, I've noticed that most overweight/obese women are already taken as well. There's an obese man for every obese woman out there, no need to disrupt the order.

[Karl Henning]

That, friend Greg, is part of your problem.

Well, I had missed that post of Greg's.

Unfortunately, it's no good wishing that I might have gone on missing it.

[Karl Henning]

I don't think so, because even if I liked that, I've noticed that most overweight/obese women are already taken as well. There's an obese man for every obese woman out there, no need to disrupt the order.

You've entirely missed jo's point.

And I wish I could say that I was surprised that you missed it.

[ibanezmonster]

Is it because I was acting mean? 
I don't normally say stuff like that, but when I do, it's only in a situation where I know the person will never hear it. I don't like crushing people's feelings.

[Karl Henning]

Maybe there are overweight people here who read it.

Another aspect is:  Say there's a bigot, but he draws the line at saying aloud what he thinks.

The problem remains what he thinks.

[mc ukrneal]

The problem remains what he thinks.

I'd question whether they hide it as well as they think they do. Some people are good at it, but most are not.

This thread has taken a turn to the sad side for me.

[Karl Henning]

I'd question whether they hide it as well as they think they do. Some people are good at it, but most are not.

This thread has taken a turn to the sad side for me.

Indeed.

[ibanezmonster]

Maybe there are overweight people here who read it.

True. Didn't think of that, sorry to anyone I may have indirectly ridiculed.