A Screenwriter Says Kids Shouldn't Be Taught the Trombone or Horn

[Sylph]

http://johnaugust.com/2011/no-trombones

[Florestan]

He should have posted in "Unpopular Opinions"... 

[mc ukrneal]

Such a silly article....

[jochanaan]

But how will young people learn to cooperate, play in tune, and when to blend in and when to take off flying?

[Sergeant Rock]

"an unpopular instrument like tenor sax."

Taking up tenor sax at age 11 was one of the best things I've ever done. Being part of the HS band was an amazing experience.  And not just the music: there were 125 members in our band (more than a quarter of the school's population). We were the dominant clique. Most of the hottest girls were in the band. Everything I learned about sex and music I owe to the tenor sax 

Sarge

[mc ukrneal]

"an unpopular instrument like tenor sax."

Taking up tenor sax at age 11 was one of the best things I've ever done. Being part of the HS band was an amazing experience.  And not just the music: there were 125 members in our band (more than a quarter of the school's population). We were the dominant clique. Most of the hottest girls were in the band. Everything I learned about sex and music I owe to the tenor sax 

Sarge

I wonder why he wrote that. The sax is a very popular instrument. And there are a lot of good parts for it (tenor is awesome in jazz bands). And frankly, nearly every tenor player I ever met was cool! I was Alto/Baritone myself. I switched to Baritone in marching band, which was heeps of fun. It's a tougher instrument to march with than alto, and a blast to hang out with the lower brass players. People who carry heavy/big instruments in marching band tend to be strange people...

[Sergeant Rock]

I wonder why he wrote that.

I guess, compared to the clarinet, the saxophone was relatively unpopular. We had about 30 clarinets to five or six saxophones (two or three altos, two tenors, one baritone). As you say, though, the sax was more versatile. Playing sax not only allowed me to be in the marching and concert bands, but the jazz and dance bands too (which didn't employ clarinets).

Sarge

[mc ukrneal]

I guess, compared to the clarinet, the saxophone was relatively unpopular. We had about 30 clarinets to five or six saxophones (two or three altos, two tenors, one baritone). As you say, though, the sax was more versatile. Playing sax not only allowed me to be in the marching and concert bands, but the jazz and dance bands too (which didn't employ clarinets).

Sarge

And pit orchestra - one of my favorite experiences. I got to play 4 different instruments one year. And a lot of cute girls there too...

[Sergeant Rock]

And pit orchestra - one of my favorite experiences. I got to play 4 different instruments one year. And a lot of cute girls there too...

Alas, we didn't provide any music for theater. But...that's probably a good thing, in my case, since it allowed me to be on stage instead, in the limelight, rather than buried in the pit.  I suppose, though, it depends on who you're buried with 

Sarge

[Szykneij]

What a total moron!

•These instruments play a single note at a time, which works great for bands, but is incredibly limiting overall.
I guess we shouldn't sing, then. Melody is so overrated.   

•Bands need tubas — but if you pick tuba, you're never going to have a solo. Ever.
Wrong.

•As a clarinet, you'll form the backbone of most school bands, but no one will actually be sure what a clarinet sounds like.


•If you're good but not great, you may be asked to "take one for the team" and switch to an unpopular instrument like tenor sax.
As others have mentioned, sax players are in the "cool kid" category.

•The French horn is difficult, expensive and sounds terrible at a student's level of proficiency.
Heaven forbid we allow our students to attempt something challenging. 

•Ditto oboe. We might as well slaughter geese on stage.
Slaughtering clueless screenwriters would be more beneficial to society.

•Violas are just as important as violins, except that no one thinks so at all.
His survey of the world was clearly faulty.

My six-year-old daughter can play Happy Birthday on the piano — and it's always in tune, without horrible screechy noises. Teach a kid three chords and he can strum most children's songs on the guitar. What about violin?
Sure: the violin's great, and plays an important role in Western music. But should it be a kid's first instrument?

The solution is to genetically alter the 6-year old's hands to make them three times larger than normal so she may play bar chords on her guitar instead of playing a fractional size violin which allows children of any stature to play a real instrument while developing their sense of pitch and technical skills.


We've all seen those little kids with their Suzuki lessons, but I want to see the follow-up: How many of those kids grow up to play violin, or any musical instrument at all as adults?
Insert any instrument you choose instead of violin.

I can't promise your kid will turn out to be great at piano or guitar — but they don't have to be. Both instruments are useful at far lower levels of proficiency. Becoming even halfway competent at either one will pay off much more than mastery of the trombone.
This says it all. Aim for mediocrity. Mediocre musicians are more likely to enjoy insipid screenplays.

[Fagotterdämmerung]

  Every instrument can be spoken of in terms of what it does and doesn't teach kids.

  If she plays trombone instead of piano, she won't learn chords!

  If he plays violin instead of trombone, he won't learn breath support!

  If she plays piano instead of violin, she won't learn to play in tune!

  If he plays percussion instead of a melody instrument, he won't understand pitch!

  I've played a number of instruments, and truly, learned something from each. If a student gets serious about their primary instrument, they'll ( almost ) inevitably learn some piano as part of taking their music degree, so a student will always have access to some kind of chordal instrument for learning purposes. Otherwise, the best instrument for someone is the instrument they want to play most and provides them with the most amount of happiness.
 

[Cosi bel do]

The main issue here is that this person appears to think music is something that is mainly supposed to be played by one person only. Hence the fact the trombone, the french horn, or even the violin, are less relevant to be learned by a kid than the guitar or the piano. Music as an individualistic art. This guy just misses the whole point of music education, making it a ground for ideology. The point of music is not to be able to play alone for the rest of one's life. As the aim of education as a whole is not to allow everyone to resolve equations, make crosswords or remember what year was the battle of Marignan as a daily personal exercise.

[ibanezmonster]

Oh, look, someone on the internet with a ridiculous opinion.

Meh....

*goes to sleep*

[jochanaan]

The reason it's generated as much interest as it has is that it's a ridiculous opinion from someone who ought to know better.

[Ken B]

The reason it's generated as much interest as it has is that it's a ridiculous opinion from someone who ought to know better.

Biden 16!

[Karl Henning]

What a total moron!

•As a clarinet, you’ll form the backbone of most school bands, but no one will actually be sure what a clarinet sounds like.


•If you’re good but not great, you may be asked to “take one for the team” and switch to an unpopular instrument like tenor sax.
As others have mentioned, sax players are in the "cool kid" category.

You play the clarinet right, and no sax player can touch you for coolness.

[jochanaan]

Karl, what's the reference on that quote by St. John of Patmos?

[7/4]

play banjo.

[Ken B]

Karl, what's the reference on that quote by St. John of Patmos?

Patmos? Pffft. It's Chrysostom who is the arbiter of cool. Karl's reference ain't worth the vellum it's written on.

[Karl Henning]

I has beheld the ligature!