Dating or not dating.

Started by NikF, August 05, 2016, 05:43:46 AM

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Mirror Image

Quote from: PerfectWagnerite on May 04, 2017, 06:04:00 PM
not sure about you guys but i have nevet seen a woman who is remotely attractive that i am not thinking about bagging. Whether or not those feelings are reciprocated is another matter.

Goodness, this is definitely me. I see an incredibly attractive woman and all I can think is "I'd love to sleep with her." I'm such a dog. ;D

greg

Are these women that you guys actually talk to or just see? Because sometimes I'll definitely notice someone who looks just the way I like, but it's not like I'll end up thinking about her.

And then there was one girl I got to talk to, who was HR for a company at the job fair I went to last year- all I could think about afterwards was her for the rest of the day. Her looks were good, but it wasn't that- her bright, cheerful personality was something I was really attracted- quite the opposite of how I am. It wasn't the feeling of "oh, I'd love to hit that," but more like being in love. I spoke to her for only about 5 minutes. I can't remember any other time where I felt something like that in such a short amount of time.

PerfectWagnerite

Quote from: Mirror Image on May 04, 2017, 06:10:14 PM
Goodness, this is definitely me. I see an incredibly attractive woman and all I can think is "I'd love to sleep with her." I'm such a dog. ;D
i am not as selective, as long as she has nice skin and is not overly skinny or fat will so, no Kate Beckinsale requires...maybe just Amy Adams ;D

PerfectWagnerite

Quote from: greg on May 04, 2017, 06:25:41 PM
Are these women that you guys actually talk to or just see? Because sometimes I'll definitely notice someone who looks just the way I like, but it's not like I'll end up thinking about her.

And then there was one girl I got to talk to, who was HR for a company at the job fair I went to last year- all I could think about afterwards was her for the rest of the day. Her looks were good, but it wasn't that- her bright, cheerful personality was something I was really attracted- quite the opposite of how I am. It wasn't the feeling of "oh, I'd love to hit that," but more like being in love. I spoke to her for only about 5 minutes. I can't remember any other time where I felt something like that in such a short amount of time.
i try sometimes but cat has my tongue mostly and they think i am dorky.

NikF

Quote from: PerfectWagnerite on May 04, 2017, 06:04:00 PM
not sure about you guys but i have nevet seen a woman who is remotely attractive that i am not thinking about bagging. Whether or not those feelings are reciprocated is another matter.

Yeah, I'm interested in sleeping with attractive women. It's one of my favourite pastimes. ;D But when it comes down to dating, it's not as simple as that and there's often a clear difference in how men and women view it.
"You overestimate my power of attraction," he told her. "No, I don't," she replied sharply, "and neither do you".

NikF

What I mean is, a young man or even an older but inexperienced man might be inclined to think in terms of "Well, she's a 6 and I'm a 7 who can sometimes attract an 8" or "I'm only average looking and skinny as hell, but I'm educated and so that raises me more into that hot girl's league" and all that BS. That's all crap. That's the thinking of an immature teenager. Whereas a woman is more likely to keep it to 'would/would not f--k'. The difference can be like night and day sometimes.

That's one of the reasons I believe men should go out and date as many women as possible, even if they're not sure that they're 100% compatible or have lots in common or are hugely physically attracted. They need real-life experience. And if they don't get it they often end up losing sight of reality and making up reasons for their failure and attributing rules to stuff where there are none. The next thing you know it's reduced to "Well, she made eye contact and twirled her hair while pointing her feet at me and I've consulted the Internet and it told me that those are signs she's interested in me" when the fact is that if they dated women once in a while instead of just talking about it they would have a better idea of the truth.

I mean, even if a man has dated women he's not at all sure about liking or being attracted to he'll eventually find one (or more) who are totally into him and make their interest clear. And that is then his frame of reference for when he meets other women in the future. Then he can compare that interest with the behaviour shown by a woman he's actually interested in. Remember in the past how easy a woman has made it when she wants to date you? Or how clear she made it that she wants to f--k you? How she was maybe blowing your phone up with texts or had the habit of appearing at places you go to? Or how she contacted you months after you called it off? Yeah? There's your experience. There's your frame of reference.

"You overestimate my power of attraction," he told her. "No, I don't," she replied sharply, "and neither do you".

Mirror Image

Quote from: PerfectWagnerite on May 04, 2017, 06:27:45 PM
i am not as selective, as long as she has nice skin and is not overly skinny or fat will so, no Kate Beckinsale requires...maybe just Amy Adams ;D

Well, if a woman catches my eye then this usually means I'm attracted to her and 9 times out of 10 she has all the requirements to be a model. :)

PerfectWagnerite

Quote from: NikF on May 04, 2017, 06:35:33 PM
What I mean is, a young man or even an older but inexperienced man might be inclined to think in terms of "Well, she's a 6 and I'm a 7 who can sometimes attract an 8" or "I'm only average looking and skinny as hell, but I'm educated and so that raises me more into that hot girl's league" and all that BS. That's all crap. That's the thinking of an immature teenager. Whereas a woman is more likely to keep it to 'would/would not f--k'. The difference can be like night and day sometimes.

That's one of the reasons I believe men should go out and date as many women as possible, even if they're not sure that they're 100% compatible or have lots in common or are hugely physically attracted. They need real-life experience. And if they don't get it they often end up losing sight of reality and making up reasons for their failure and attributing rules to stuff where there are none. The next thing you know it's reduced to "Well, she made eye contact and twirled her hair while pointing her feet at me and I've consulted the Internet and it told me that those are signs she's interested in me" when the fact is that if they dated women once in a while instead of just talking about it they would have a better idea of the truth.

I mean, even if a man has dated women he's not at all sure about liking or being attracted to he'll eventually find one (or more) who are totally into him and make their interest clear. And that is then his frame of reference for when he meets other women in the future. Then he can compare that interest with the behaviour shown by a woman he's actually interested in. Remember in the past how easy a woman has made it when she wants to date you? Or how clear she made it that she wants to f--k you? How she was maybe blowing your phone up with texts or had the habit of appearing at places you go to? Or how she contacted you months after you called it off? Yeah? There's your experience. There's your frame of reference.
interesting...but there are women that i can tell is totally out of my league, even witjout trying or any frame of reference.

NikF

Quote from: PerfectWagnerite on May 04, 2017, 06:42:21 PM
interesting...but there are women that i can tell is totally out of my league, even witjout trying or any frame of reference.

Fair enough. :) That's your experience. I always point out that I can only speak for myself. And I don't think about stuff like leagues, because my own experience has been that nothing is written in stone.
"You overestimate my power of attraction," he told her. "No, I don't," she replied sharply, "and neither do you".

Mirror Image

Quote from: NikF on May 04, 2017, 06:56:24 PM
Fair enough. :) That's your experience. I always point out that I can only speak for myself. And I don't think about stuff like leagues, because my own experience has been that nothing is written in stone.

I always go for women 'out of my league'. That's what makes these things so interesting and yet a challenge at the same time.

NikF

Quote from: Mirror Image on May 04, 2017, 06:41:26 PM
Well, if a woman catches my eye then this usually means I'm attracted to her and 9 times out of 10 she has all the requirements to be a model. :)
Quote from: Mirror Image on May 04, 2017, 07:01:39 PM
I always go for women 'out of my league'. That's what makes these things so interesting and yet a challenge at the same time.

You know how much value I place on having real-life experience of stuff as opposed to "Here's the way I think it is", yeah? My experience is that models tend to date other models or those of similar looks. And I'm talking about agency represented models who earn a living from modelling, not some chick who plays dress-up for fanboys. Beautiful women date handsome men. Most of the time. Maybe 99.9% of the time. But not absolutely all of the time. :) That's my real-life experience. So, keep that in mind the next time you think anyone might be out of your league for any reason.  8)
"You overestimate my power of attraction," he told her. "No, I don't," she replied sharply, "and neither do you".

Mirror Image

Quote from: NikF on May 04, 2017, 07:19:18 PM
You know how much value I place on having real-life experience of stuff as opposed to "Here's the way I think it is", yeah? My experience is that models tend to date other models or those of similar looks. And I'm talking about agency represented models who earn a living from modelling, not some chick who plays dress-up for fanboys. Beautiful women date handsome men. Most of the time. Maybe 99.9% of the time. But not absolutely all of the time. :) That's my real-life experience. So, keep that in mind the next time you think anyone might be out of your league for any reason.  8)

Yeah, I think the whole idea of 'out of my league' is ridiculous. If you desire someone and they feel the same as you, then everything else doesn't even matter.

NikF

Quote from: Mirror Image on May 04, 2017, 07:22:31 PM
Yeah, I think the whole idea of 'out of my league' is ridiculous. If you desire someone and they feel the same as you, then everything else doesn't even matter.

Yeah, that's it. :)
"You overestimate my power of attraction," he told her. "No, I don't," she replied sharply, "and neither do you".

Mirror Image

Quote from: NikF on May 04, 2017, 07:38:28 PM
Yeah, that's it. :)

Of course, there are those women who believe they are better than you and won't give you the time of day. Those are the women that will never be truly happy.

NikF

Quote from: Mirror Image on May 04, 2017, 08:35:59 PM
Of course, there are those women who believe they are better than you and won't give you the time of day. Those are the women that will never be truly happy.

That's probably true, yes. They'll never be happy. But it's something that a lot of guys get hung up on. They whine about it like "Women always ask 'Where are all the good men?' - well, we're here and you won't give us a chance!" So what? If a woman doesn't give me the time of day, so what? And if she complains that she can't find a good/honest/faithful man, so what? It's her life and it's her time to spend doing or complaining about whatever she wants. And it's none of my business.
I live my own life to the fullest as much as possible. And I'm not interested in investing any of my time in what anyone else thinks.
"You overestimate my power of attraction," he told her. "No, I don't," she replied sharply, "and neither do you".

greg

Quote from: NikF on May 04, 2017, 06:35:33 PM
That's one of the reasons I believe men should go out and date as many women as possible, even if they're not sure that they're 100% compatible or have lots in common or are hugely physically attracted. They need real-life experience.
I agree there's a benefit of real life experience, but this sounds like the dumbest thing to do. Why fake being interested? Don't we do enough faking in our daily lives, at work and around others just to get through it all?

I've turned down many women, and yeah, that means I've turned down chances of many experiences, but I don't regret any of it at all. The problem is, if you were to date someone just for the sake of experience, they can get attached and get their hopes up when you were just faking all along. And how in the world can you make yourself kiss someone when you aren't really feeling like it?

(now, if you don't mean 100% compatible, but more like 70%-80%, that may be enough  :P)

But if this works for you, good. No problem with it. I just think it's very, very weird and will never understand it.

Mirror Image

#776
Quote from: NikF on May 04, 2017, 08:51:11 PM
That's probably true, yes. They'll never be happy. But it's something that a lot of guys get hung up on. They whine about it like "Women always ask 'Where are all the good men?' - well, we're here and you won't give us a chance!" So what? If a woman doesn't give me the time of day, so what? And if she complains that she can't find a good/honest/faithful man, so what? It's her life and it's her time to spend doing or complaining about whatever she wants. And it's none of my business.
I live my own life to the fullest as much as possible. And I'm not interested in investing any of my time in what anyone else thinks.

Yep, I don't get hung up in what other people think either. It's my life, not theirs.

NikF

Quote from: greg on May 04, 2017, 09:14:08 PM
I agree there's a benefit of real life experience, but this sounds like the dumbest thing to doDly lives, at work and around others just to get through it all?

I've turned down many women, and yeah, that means I've turned down chances of many experiences, but I don't regret any of it at all. The problem is, if you were to date someone just for the sake of experience, they can get attached and get their hopes up when you were just faking all along. And how in the world can you make yourself kiss someone when you aren't really feeling like it?

(now, if you don't mean 100% compatible, but more like 70%-80%, that may be enough  :P)

But if this works for you, good. No problem with it. I just think it's very, very weird and will never understand it.

No. I never mentioned faking it. I'm saying go out and spend time with women. No expectations, no promises, no great loss. A lot of guys know very little about women. An example: overestimating the risk of a woman getting attached or getting her hopes up. ;D
Again, it's not about 'faking' it. It's about doing something rather than sitting and doing nothing, but believing that's somehow going to equip oneself for successful dating and maybe eventually a happy and health long-term relationship.



"You overestimate my power of attraction," he told her. "No, I don't," she replied sharply, "and neither do you".

NikF

Quote from: Mirror Image on May 04, 2017, 09:23:58 PM
Yep, I don't get hung in what other people think either. It's my life, not theirs.

That's how to do it. Be responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment and success (or failures) in relationships or business or life in general. Just keep moving forward, positively. And one bonus is that there are women who will find that hugely attractive.
"You overestimate my power of attraction," he told her. "No, I don't," she replied sharply, "and neither do you".

Mirror Image

Quote from: NikF on May 04, 2017, 09:57:56 PM
That's how to do it. Be responsible for your own happiness and fulfillment and success (or failures) in relationships or business or life in general. Just keep moving forward, positively. And one bonus is that there are women who will find that hugely attractive.

No argument here, Nik. 8)