Dating or not dating.

[NikF]

What kind of dancer was she?

She danced with the Northern Ballet. Now she teaches diploma courses. But she still has an intensity that I've noticed in a lot of dancers, which is kind of attractive but also mildly overpowering, whereas I prefer to just trundle along the way.
The other thing is that my best friend has now met her (though only briefly) and although he said she's nice I get the impression that he doesn't really like her. Obviously he's not the one dating her and so it's not important, but he made a passive aggressive comment to me about 'snobs' rather than being his usual straightforward self. I don't know. Maybe they just took a dislike to each other on sight.

[ComposerOfAvantGarde]

I can't tell if i am enjoying or hating being single right now

[Mirror Image]

She danced with the Northern Ballet. Now she teaches diploma courses. But she still has an intensity that I've noticed in a lot of dancers, which is kind of attractive but also mildly overpowering, whereas I prefer to just trundle along the way.
The other thing is that my best friend has now met her (though only briefly) and although he said she's nice I get the impression that he doesn't really like her. Obviously he's not the one dating her and so it's not important, but he made a passive aggressive comment to me about 'snobs' rather than being his usual straightforward self. I don't know. Maybe they just took a dislike to each other on sight.

It really doesn't matter whether your friend likes her or not. Ultimately, what matters is do you see yourself having a future with her or not. If she annoys you and you're finding every reason you can muster up to find fault, then she isn't someone you should spend any more time with, otherwise, you'd be leading her on and making her believe there's something there, when, in fact, there isn't.

[NikF]

It really doesn't matter whether your friend likes her or not. Ultimately, what matters is do you see yourself having a future with her or not. If she annoys you and you're finding every reason you can muster up to find fault, then she isn't someone you should spend any more time with, otherwise, you'd be leading her on and making her believe there's something there, when, in fact, there isn't.

Yeah, I'm aware of that. But I thank you for the input, because it's like a sounding board and helps me think stuff through. It's definitely appreciated.
The point I was making about my best friend isn't that his opinion influences me, it's more that he's one of those people who rarely has a negative word to say about anyone. You know the type?

Anyway, I'm going to spend a couple of days resting before work (and maybe see if I can pick up some music - including that Ravel chamber music CD you recommended to me a while back) and deal with it later.

[Mirror Image]

Yeah, I'm aware of that. But I thank you for the input, because it's like a sounding board and helps me think stuff through. It's definitely appreciated.
The point I was making about my best friend isn't that his opinion influences me, it's more that he's one of those people who rarely has a negative word to say about anyone. You know the type?

Anyway, I'm going to spend a couple of days resting before work (and maybe see if I can pick up some music - including that Ravel chamber music CD you recommended to me a while back) and deal with it later.

You're welcome. Yeah, I know some people who don't talk negatively too often and if they do mention something negative, I usually take notice rather quickly. I do hope things work out for you and the woman you're dating. I also hope you enjoy that Ravel recording. The Hyperion one with Ibragimova/Tiberghien, correct?

[NikF]

I can't tell if i am enjoying or hating being single right now

The unsolicited advice I'd like to impart is to not worry about it. Forget it. A method I'm fond of employing when I wish to forget stuff is to find some space and do this for a few minutes -

[NikF]

You're welcome. Yeah, I know some people who don't talk negatively too often and if they do mention something negative, I usually take notice rather quickly. I do hope things work out for you and the woman you're dating. I also hope you enjoy that Ravel recording. The Hyperion one with Ibragimova/Tiberghien, correct?

Thanks, man.
And that's the recording, yes.

[Mirror Image]

Sigh...I wish I had something interesting to add to this thread.

What's been going on with you guys? Anything new?

[Mirror Image]

I've definitely got something brewing. Details soon.

[Brian]

Wow! You find new women to date as quickly as you find new CDs to buy. Good luck 

We got Dallas Symphony season tickets, including Lutoslawski, a new Rouse symphony, and Bruckner's Seventh. (Although she's most excited for the night of Bronfman playing Brahms Concerto 2 + Prokofiev Fifth Symphony.) 

[Mirror Image]

Wow! You find new women to date as quickly as you find new CDs to buy. Good luck 

We got Dallas Symphony season tickets, including Lutoslawski, a new Rouse symphony, and Bruckner's Seventh. (Although she's most excited for the night of Bronfman playing Brahms Concerto 2 + Prokofiev Fifth Symphony.) 

Hah! Brian if only that were true. Looks like things are going well with you and your girlfriend. Best of luck to you both.

[NikF]

Sigh...I wish I had something interesting to add to this thread.

What's been going on with you guys? Anything new?

Yeah, but not entirely positive. However I'll wait and see how it resolves itself (and when I'm home for longer) before I post an update.

I've definitely got something brewing. Details soon.

Sounds good.

We got Dallas Symphony season tickets, including Lutoslawski, a new Rouse symphony, and Bruckner's Seventh. (Although she's most excited for the night of Bronfman playing Brahms Concerto 2 + Prokofiev Fifth Symphony.) 

Also sounds good - especially the Brahms and Prokofiev.


e: and welcome back, Mirror Image

[NikF]

The nice lady who works in the supermarket has invited me over. And "...you don't need to bring anything, just bring yourself, because I brought a single malt from work". I do believe I'll stretch my legs.

[Mirror Image]

e: and welcome back, Mirror Image

Thanks, NikF!

[Mirror Image]

The nice lady who works in the supermarket has invited me over. And "...you don't need to bring anything, just bring yourself, because I brought a single malt from work". I do believe I'll stretch my legs.

Good luck with this!

[NikF]

Good luck with this!

Thanks. It's just a semi regular, casual kind of thing when the mood arises. And it's cool, because she knows how to play the *game and so there are no problems.



*Parcheesi

[Mirror Image]

Thanks. It's just a semi regular, casual kind of thing when the mood arises. And it's cool, because she knows how to play the *game and so there are no problems.



*Parcheesi

If only I knew the rules of 'the game'.

[NikF]

If only I knew the rules of 'the game'.

Knowing how to play the game just means not getting attached and not asking questions. And simply accepting something for what it is. That's all. Not much of a game, but not knowing how to play it or deviating from the rules almost often results in much unhappiness and/or trouble.
But check this out for a different kind of game...

Last week I was travelling back home by train. It takes about five hours or so. I got on and found a seat beside two women. One was about mid40s and the other mid30s. They were friends who were travelling together. I sat beside mid30s. From the outset they were both friendly and sociable and made room for me and my luggage and we chatted in between them playing on their phones.
Mid30s was perhaps a little shy. Or more exactly, she was less forward than mid40s. And it was mid40s who was leading the conversation throughout and asking me questions - asking me lots of questions. And it was a little strange, because the questions she would ask came out of nowhere and were often quite specific.

At one point mid40s went to get some coffee. I used that as an opportunity to rearrange the luggage over and under the seats. Part of it was a guitar and case I'd bought. Mid30s commented on it and asked if I was going to play it. I said I wasn't, because I'm not much of a guitar player and that it was a classical guitar which I'd no experience of. So I got everything rearranged, mid40s returned, and the conversation and fiddling with phones resumed, as did the questioning.

A few minutes later mid40s looked at the luggage and asked "So what's the difference between a classical guitar and an ordinary guitar?" And I thought 'I didn't tell you that's a classical guitar.' I spent the rest of the journey doing my best to say things that would lead to questions. Occasionally it would result in mid30s using her phone and a few moments later mid40s picking her own phone up to read the message and then asking me a question on behalf of mid30s.
In 2016, women are happily enjoying the virtual version of the old 'Go to the toilet together and talk about a guy' game.

[Mirror Image]

Knowing how to play the game just means not getting attached and not asking questions. And simply accepting something for what it is. That's all. Not much of a game, but not knowing how to play it or deviating from the rules almost often results in much unhappiness and/or trouble.
But check this out for a different kind of game...

Last week I was travelling back home by train. It takes about five hours or so. I got on and found a seat beside two women. One was about mid40s and the other mid30s. They were friends who were travelling together. I sat beside mid30s. From the outset they were both friendly and sociable and made room for me and my luggage and we chatted in between them playing on their phones.
Mid30s was perhaps a little shy. Or more exactly, she was less forward than mid40s. And it was mid40s who was leading the conversation throughout and asking me questions - asking me lots of questions. And it was a little strange, because the questions she would ask came out of nowhere and were often quite specific.

At one point mid40s went to get some coffee. I used that as an opportunity to rearrange the luggage over and under the seats. Part of it was a guitar and case I'd bought. Mid30s commented on it and asked if I was going to play it. I said I wasn't, because I'm not much of a guitar player and that it was a classical guitar which I'd no experience of. So I got everything rearranged, mid40s returned, and the conversation and fiddling with phones resumed, as did the questioning.

A few minutes later mid40s looked at the luggage and asked "So what's the difference between a classical guitar and an ordinary guitar?" And I thought 'I didn't tell you that's a classical guitar.' I spent the rest of the journey doing my best to say things that would lead to questions. Occasionally it would result in mid30s using her phone and a few moments later mid40s picking her own phone up to read the message and then asking me a question on behalf of mid30s.
In 2016, women are happily enjoying the virtual version of the old 'Go to the toilet together and talk about a guy' game.

Ha! Thanks for sharing this little story.

(I'm taking notes as I type.)

[NikF]

Ha! Thanks for sharing this little story.

(I'm taking notes as I type.)

You're welcome. And one of the notes should be 'Be prepared to run'

As usual I'll tl;dr this at the end.

The retired dancer and I have still been spending time together. I'm going to be blunt here and say that she's withholding the goods because she has me sussed out. Or at least she's aware that right now I'm not looking for anything serious with anyone. I understand completely and don't blame her at all. However every now and then something occurs that makes me more reticent.

A gallery owner had invited me to have a chat over lunch today and so I brought her along.
Everything was cool and easy going, but she became bored when he and I drifted into a discussion about aesthetics that somehow sidetracked into ergonomics and then settled on Henry Dreyfuss. We mentioned some of the designs Dreyfuss and his team were responsible for, such as the Westclox Big Ben alarm and one of the Hoover vacuums. When I added "...and the Princess telephone" it prompted an outburst from her that was delivered via a petulant, pouting, spoiled brat voice "I want a Princess telephone!" 

tl;dr she's a Princess. And the hell with dealing with that at my age.