Author Topic: Pretending interest  (Read 171 times)

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Offline 71 dB

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Pretending interest
« on: May 21, 2020, 03:10:32 AM »
I'm curious about if people here feel the same way I often do:

When someone talks about say composer X or movie Y or whatever that isn't something important to me there is this pressure to pretend interest in order to appear nice and polite.

For me getting truly interested of something often requires time and effort. It might be a long process of years to get interested of say a composer for me. So when someone online tells "Dufay is so great" don't expect me to get interested in 10 seconds!

Sometimes I get interested very fast, but it happen very rarely. Four decades ago I got interested of Star Wars in Planck time (the shortest possible time interval in the universe according to quantum physics), Elgar in about 5 minutes (while listening to Enigma Variations on radio), old Doctor Who in 15 minutes (while watching the Jon Pertwee story "The Green Death" on a scifi TV channel) and so on... ...but in general it takes a long time for me to warm up/get interested. Months, years, even decades! One of the best examples is The X-Files. It's my favorite TV show, but I really fell in love with it around the time of Season 8, almost a decade after the the show started (actually they started showing the show in Finland in winter 1995, over a year later than in the US!). Another good example is Tangerine Dream. The first time I tried their music was in the early 90's. The experience kept haunting in my mind and in December 2007 I started exploring the band again studying their enourmous output and where to start properly. I concluded Force Majeure is it and I ordered the CD and when I got it December 31, 2007 my mind was blown away!  :o

So, most of the time I tell someone I am interested I am pretending. I don't like it, but that's how it is. Currently I am interested about Einar Englund's music for example. If someone recommended me Englund 10 years ago I was pretending back then, but now my interest is genuine. Pretending interest in social interactions is very annoying. Do you agree?
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Offline Biffo

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Re: Pretending interest
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2020, 03:21:36 AM »
I don't even bother to pretend. If something doesn't interest me I don't even bother to read the thread. If I read the thread and it doesn't interest me I pass on without comment. If something, a work or composer, intrigues me and I try it out and if it doesn't interest me I pass on without comment; I respect other people's taste or judgement and refrain from negative comment.

Offline Gurn Blanston

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Re: Pretending interest
« Reply #2 on: May 21, 2020, 03:37:30 AM »
I don't even bother to pretend. If something doesn't interest me I don't even bother to read the thread. If I read the thread and it doesn't interest me I pass on without comment. If something, a work or composer, intrigues me and I try it out and if it doesn't interest me I pass on without comment; I respect other people's taste or judgement and refrain from negative comment.

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Offline 71 dB

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Re: Pretending interest
« Reply #3 on: May 21, 2020, 03:47:40 AM »
I don't even bother to pretend. If something doesn't interest me I don't even bother to read the thread. If I read the thread and it doesn't interest me I pass on without comment. If something, a work or composer, intrigues me and I try it out and if it doesn't interest me I pass on without comment; I respect other people's taste or judgement and refrain from negative comment.

Well, it's easy to just read something and move on without saying anything, but when someone quotes YOUR post and recommends something it feels rude to not reply back...  :P

For example if I tell I have enjoyed watching TV show X somebody may quote that and say "Hey, if you liked X, you should try Y because it's similar!" The crazy thing about this is you don't know why I like X. Maybe the reason I like X is the biggest difference between X and Y so that Y lacks what I like about X? I have been recommended Harty and Medtner because to someone else these composers are very similar to Elgar, but they are NOT similar to me! I don't know any composer similar to Elgar who is unique to me, a combination of a dozen composers. Liszt's "poetic" style is similar to Elgar for example. Puccini's orchestra sounds a little bit like Elgar to me, but I find so much influences from other composers* in Elgar starting from Bach and Handel that it's impossible to say composer X is similar to Elgar and to me Harty and Medtner definitely do not sound like Elgar at all, but then again if you pay attention to other things I do maybe there are similarities?

* Because Elgar is a self-taught composer who isn't stylistically "restricted" to models favored by his teachers.
Spatial distortion is a serious problem deteriorating headphone listening.
Crossfeeders reduce spatial distortion and make the sound more natural
and less tiresome in headphone listening.

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Offline Biffo

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Re: Pretending interest
« Reply #4 on: May 21, 2020, 04:24:31 AM »
Well, it's easy to just read something and move on without saying anything, but when someone quotes YOUR post and recommends something it feels rude to not reply back...  :P

For example if I tell I have enjoyed watching TV show X somebody may quote that and say "Hey, if you liked X, you should try Y because it's similar!" The crazy thing about this is you don't know why I like X. Maybe the reason I like X is the biggest difference between X and Y so that Y lacks what I like about X? I have been recommended Harty and Medtner because to someone else these composers are very similar to Elgar, but they are NOT similar to me! I don't know any composer similar to Elgar who is unique to me, a combination of a dozen composers. Liszt's "poetic" style is similar to Elgar for example. Puccini's orchestra sounds a little bit like Elgar to me, but I find so much influences from other composers* in Elgar starting from Bach and Handel that it's impossible to say composer X is similar to Elgar and to me Harty and Medtner definitely do not sound like Elgar at all, but then again if you pay attention to other things I do maybe there are similarities?

* Because Elgar is a self-taught composer who isn't stylistically "restricted" to models favored by his teachers.

That is a different matter, I usually do reply, even if it is only to say thank you.

Offline 71 dB

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Re: Pretending interest
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2020, 07:44:33 AM »
Maybe I just stop pretending then...

That is a different matter, I usually do reply, even if it is only to say thank you.

Thank you!  ;D

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Offline steve ridgway

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Re: Pretending interest
« Reply #6 on: Today at 04:45:49 AM »
Pretending interest in social interactions is very annoying. Do you agree?

Yes, I like to explore one thing in my own time, am not keen on being recommended something else and then feeling the pressure to investigate it and reply.

Offline (: premont :)

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Re: Pretending interest
« Reply #7 on: Today at 02:05:56 PM »
I don't even bother to pretend. If something doesn't interest me I don't even bother to read the thread. If I read the thread and it doesn't interest me I pass on without comment. If something, a work or composer, intrigues me and I try it out and if it doesn't interest me I pass on without comment; I respect other people's taste or judgement and refrain from negative comment.

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It's better to act today than to regret tomorrow.
(Mette Frederiksen)

Offline (: premont :)

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Re: Pretending interest
« Reply #8 on: Today at 02:11:32 PM »
Yes, I like to explore one thing in my own time, am not keen on being recommended something else and then feeling the pressure to investigate it and reply.

The fact is, that a recommendation from others may draw ones attention to things, one wouldn't have discovered by oneself, and a true interest may result.
It's better to act today than to regret tomorrow.
(Mette Frederiksen)

Offline k a rl h e nn i ng

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Re: Pretending interest
« Reply #9 on: Today at 03:42:24 PM »
The fact is, that a recommendation from others may draw ones attention to things, one wouldn't have discovered by oneself, and a true interest may result.

Aye.
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His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Offline Mirror Image

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Re: Pretending interest
« Reply #10 on: Today at 04:35:44 PM »
If something truly interests me, I go ape over it. Other members here have seen this composer come and that composer go or I’ll be gone for a few months to listen to jazz or rock music only to return to annoying my fellow members with my fanaticisms about Shostakovich, Martinů or whoever. :) We all express our love for this music in different ways. I pretend interest only when talking with someone in person. It’s easy to avoid this or that post or thread, but, in real life, it’s difficult for me to say what I’d really like say which would be “Look, I really don’t give a s*** about what you’re talking about” and one reason this may be the case could stem from my raising and it is simply impolite to ignore someone talking to you whether you find the topic at hand out of your realm, boring or whatever. When I’m talking in real life, I try to get the person involved in the conversation by asking them questions and if they’re not interested, I pick another topic or simply let things run their natural course.
“When a man is in despair, it means that he still believes in something.” - Dmitri Shostakovich