Myers Briggs

[Mirror Image]

Diversions are the solution to that. Focus on the the worst things in your life that you can't fix... maybe not a good idea, right?
You can't fix it, so why think about it? Think about something else. That's the point.

Well, that depends on many factors. What is the root of your depression?

[greg]

Well, that depends on many factors. What is the root of your depression?

I'm not technically depressed, but definitely have the tendency to magnify focus whatever I'm missing or haven't accomplished yet.

The good side is that it pushes me very strongly to get stuff done, and it's the reason why I'm not way worse off (actually, I'm not even doing bad psychologically nowadays, I'm doing well enough tbh).
The bad side is that reality only has so much to offer, and it just falls very short in many ways. Some things just aren't possible.

The sense of lacking is always there, though it's not as consistently overwhelming as before since I took care of the most important stuff.

I'll tell you straight up, my dream is a harem of cute anime girls, that is what I imagine every day, that will never happen, obviously because that's impossible. So being that far from what is ideal is not much fun.

Also, I know this is weird, but when I was working at Lowe's and extremely bored is when I thought of both my good fantasy (see above) and my bad fantasy, what could conceivably be the best and worst kind of universes. And honestly, thinking about the worst possible one is too haunting to even talk about, and little echoes of that somehow get mixed in my observations of life, because the bad is literally an extreme exaggeration of what life is.

And it always feels like I need more time. For example, I wanted to have been fluent at Japanese many years ago but it's such a monumental amount of study and I wanted to do many more things in the meantime that I haven't got much better at all. So it's always there to work on, but it's just not good enough right now. It's like constantly having multiple itches.

But yeah, maybe that helps for understanding. I'm extremely ambitious and uncompromising. Good for some things (great for music composition IMO), but it has some major downsides as well.