The most nonsensical lines you know, from literature, movies etc.

[Jaakko Keskinen]

You can mention here the most utterly stupid lines you've ever heard, lines that make no sense whatsoever, lines that make you facepalm.

I'll start.

"The communications disruption could mean only one thing - invasion." - Sio Bibble, from the movie Star Wars: Phantom Menace, written by the master of wooden dialogue, George Lucas.

[Parsifal]

Is Donald Trump off limits?   

[Jaakko Keskinen]

Is Donald Trump off limits?   

No-one is.

[Todd]

Pretty much everything from Cloud Atlas.

[Karl Henning]

Is Donald Trump off limits?   

He ain't literature.

[kishnevi]

He can go under the "etc."

[XB-70 Valkyrie]

You can mention here the most utterly stupid lines you've ever heard, lines that make no sense whatsoever, lines that make you facepalm.

I'll start.

"The communications disruption could mean only one thing - invasion." - Sio Bibble, from the movie Star Wars: Phantom Menace, written by the master of wooden dialogue, George Lucas.

How dare you say anything even remotely not worshipful about St. George and the greatest thing ever created by humankind--STAR WARS!? What kind of monster are you!?!?!111?? (Personally I think all the Star Wars movies are schlock and just about the most over-hyped thing ever.)

Also, I would have to add, pretty much anything in Catcher in the Rye. God I hated reading that book in high school.

[Florestan]

A good candidate for the most nonsensical script is Avatar. The level of ignorance of high-school-textbook physics, chemistry and biology displayed in this movie is appallling. Trumps even the James Bond series.

[bwv 1080]

A good candidate for the most nonsensical script is Avatar. The level of ignorance of high-school-textbook physics, chemistry and biology displayed in this movie is appallling.

none of that matters if its a good story and internally consistent (like Star Wars, which has far worse science), but the movie itself was just a remake of Disney's Pocahontas

[bwv 1080]

In Heinlein's Starship Troopers they are all using slide rules in starship captain school

[ritter]

Provisional conclusion from this thread: Sc-Fi is plagued my nonsensical lines  . Must be part of the genre's charm (a charm that has so far eluded me, I'm afraid  ).

THREAD DUTY:

A classic:

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness." Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Paul Clifford.

Apart from the horror of this (in)famous opening sentence per se, one could infer from it that London is the only city with the privilege of actually having streets.



Tangentially related: a (probably apochryphal) Spanish phrase now often repeated in jest as the ultimate non sequitur: "Era de noche y, sin embargo, llovía" ("It was night, and yet, it rained").

[ritter]

And yes, one may be a rabid wagnerian and all, but that desn't mean this doesn't qualify for this thread:

"Weia! Waga!
Woge, du Welle,
walle zur Wiege!
Wagala weia!
Wallala, weiala weia!"

[NikF]

You can mention here the most utterly stupid lines you've ever heard, lines that make no sense whatsoever, lines that make you facepalm.

It's an easy target and all that, but...

http://www.youtube.com/v/szyz8Dr0-Vc

Star Trek, The Original Series. Scotty to Dr. McCoy -

"Aye, the haggis is in the fire for sure."

[Jaakko Keskinen]

And yes, one may be a rabid wagnerian and all, but that desn't mean this doesn't qualify for this thread:

"Weia! Waga!
Woge, du Welle,
walle zur Wiege!
Wagala weia!
Wallala, weiala weia!"

How about Gurnemanz's "A gander should look for a goose"-comment from Parsifal?

[Jaakko Keskinen]

And to make it clear: I'm a huge Star Wars fan. I have even read several of the books. But Star Wars prequels suck, save for a couple of actors and John Willians's music. Most of the lines in the prequels make no sense whatsoever. It's like Lucas thought he could just write anything in hopes that it would be great prose. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out to be so. You have to think of whether or not the line is adequate in the situation, George, before writing it.

[Parsifal]

Star Wars was a cultural phenomenon because of the quality of the special effects. It is easy now to underestimate the impact that those effects had at the time. On top of that, there were some characters like Hans Solo, Princess Leia and Darth Vader played by charismatic actors. The story was a silly fairy tale to string the special effect sequences together, and it succeeded in not ruining it. The stories of the prequels did not always meet that criterion.

[Marc]

"Point at the camel as we speak."



Ishtar (1987)

[vandermolen]

'The Duc de Pommes Frites has had his chips' (Carry On Don't Lose Your Head).

Actually one of my favourite films.

[Karl Henning]

In the sub-genre which my roommate in Buffalo called "little Jimmies" (James Bond's obligatory cutesipoo lines), IMO one of the lamest lines Sean Connery was called upon to deliver was:

"I was just out walking my rat and seem to have lost my way."

[snyprrr]

"In order to know life, one must first fuck death in the gall bladder."

Udo Kier, Andy Warhol's Frankenstein