I have to STOP!!

[71 dB]

I am noticing a pattern:

When I just live my life the way I want and don't tell about it to other people I am quite happy inside my introvert bubble, but then I start to feel I need to tell about these things to other people and I come online. What happens is a lot of people start telling:

- I don't know as much as I think I know
- I am wrong and lacking some information other people have

This causes feel of rejection and it bursts my bubble of happiness and self-esteem. It makes me feel anxiety. It makes me feel worthless. I am starting to realize that in order to be happy I NEED to be inside my introvert bubble while ignore to outside world completely. I think by calling other people idiots and brainwashed ignoramuses I try to protect my bubble so I can be happy. The problem is isolation. How to communicate only with people who are not out there to burst the happiness bubbles of other people? If only 1 % of people are like that, 99 % are not. It's devastating to realize isolation gives me happiness. I can't be happy without my introvert delusions. They make me feel the life is worth living.

This is the pattern of my life. It has happened so many times. I am a fragile person and other people can crush me easily. I need a strong bubble to protect me from anxiety and misery. Most people seem to be able to have high self-esteem while communicating with other people having various opininions. I can't. I have tried this. It's not working for me. So, now that I think I have gotten into music theory during the last year I won't share my "knowledge and understanding" with you! I won't allow you to crush my delusions about understanding music theory. Instead I concentrate on creating music because I am so excited to use what I know.

[Andy D.]

I am noticing a pattern:

When I just live my life the way I want and don't tell about it to other people I am quite happy inside my introvert bubble, but then I start to feel I need to tell about these things to other people and I come online. What happens is a lot of people start telling:

- I don't know as much as I think I know
- I am wrong and lacking some information other people have

This causes feel of rejection and it bursts my bubble of happiness and self-esteem. It makes me feel anxiety. It makes me feel worthless. I am starting to realize that in order to be happy I NEED to be inside my introvert bubble while ignore to outside world completely. I think by calling other people idiots and brainwashed ignoramuses I try to protect my bubble so I can be happy. The problem is isolation. How to communicate only with people who are not out there to burst the happiness bubbles of other people? If only 1 % of people are like that, 99 % are not. It's devastating to realize isolation gives me happiness. I can't be happy without my introvert delusions. They make me feel the life is worth living.

This is the pattern of my life. It has happened so many times. I am a fragile person and other people can crush me easily. I need a strong bubble to protect me from anxiety and misery. Most people seem to be able to have high self-esteem while communicating with other people having various opininions. I can't. I have tried this. It's not working for me. So, now that I think I have gotten into music theory during the last year I won't share my "knowledge and understanding" with you! I won't allow you to crush my delusions about understanding music theory. Instead I concentrate on creating music because I am so excited to use what I know.

Very insightful, and I empathize with so much of this.

[Madiel]

I am noticing a pattern:

When I just live my life the way I want and don't tell about it to other people I am quite happy inside my introvert bubble, but then I start to feel I need to tell about these things to other people and I come online. What happens is a lot of people start telling:

- I don't know as much as I think I know
- I am wrong and lacking some information other people have

This causes feel of rejection and it bursts my bubble of happiness and self-esteem. It makes me feel anxiety. It makes me feel worthless. I am starting to realize that in order to be happy I NEED to be inside my introvert bubble while ignore to outside world completely. I think by calling other people idiots and brainwashed ignoramuses I try to protect my bubble so I can be happy. The problem is isolation. How to communicate only with people who are not out there to burst the happiness bubbles of other people? If only 1 % of people are like that, 99 % are not. It's devastating to realize isolation gives me happiness. I can't be happy without my introvert delusions. They make me feel the life is worth living.

This is the pattern of my life. It has happened so many times. I am a fragile person and other people can crush me easily. I need a strong bubble to protect me from anxiety and misery. Most people seem to be able to have high self-esteem while communicating with other people having various opininions. I can't. I have tried this. It's not working for me. So, now that I think I have gotten into music theory during the last year I won't share my "knowledge and understanding" with you! I won't allow you to crush my delusions about understanding music theory. Instead I concentrate on creating music because I am so excited to use what I know.

You have to learn when the internet is getting toxic for you and walk away from it.

It's harder on a message board that doesn't give you many tools to shut a conversation off (as I already noted, THIS message board will mark a conversation you've participated in as one you want to see replies in, permanently, and that's exactly why I've never posted in the thread that is annoying you so much).

The first step you can consider on this particular board is, if an individual is annoying you constantly then you can hide their posts. It will still show they've posted and you can choose to open the post to read the text, but it at least gives one barrier when you are feeling vulnerable.

Apart from that it's self learning about when you've got in too deep and too angry and it's doing you more damage than is worth the trouble. You learn to feel those signals and then go away to cool off.

[Andy D.]

At one point I  left for seven years.

[71 dB]

Very insightful, and I empathize with so much of this.

Your empathy and understanding is much appreciated.  0:)

You have to learn when the internet is getting toxic for you and walk away from it.

It's harder on a message board that doesn't give you many tools to shut a conversation off (as I already noted, THIS message board will mark a conversation you've participated in as one you want to see replies in, permanently, and that's exactly why I've never posted in the thread that is annoying you so much).

The first step you can consider on this particular board is, if an individual is annoying you constantly then you can hide their posts. It will still show they've posted and you can choose to open the post to read the text, but it at least gives one barrier when you are feeling vulnerable.

Apart from that it's self learning about when you've got in too deep and too angry and it's doing you more damage than is worth the trouble. You learn to feel those signals and then go away to cool off.

Seeing the signals is not the main problem. It's more about having the self-control to do the right thing and walk away before things escalate and to my experience thing DO escalate fast.  The first comment by someone on your FIRST post of a given topic can already be toxic in nature. It has taken me years to believe things can escalate that fast. I am finally believing it after experiencing it numerous times on various internet discussion boards. It's also impotant to realize you are don't have to respond to mean comments. We are free to walk away. So, let's celebrate our freedom to walk away from toxic discussions online.  0:)

[greg]

I am noticing a pattern:

When I just live my life the way I want and don't tell about it to other people I am quite happy inside my introvert bubble, but then I start to feel I need to tell about these things to other people and I come online. What happens is a lot of people start telling:

- I don't know as much as I think I know
- I am wrong and lacking some information other people have

This causes feel of rejection and it bursts my bubble of happiness and self-esteem. It makes me feel anxiety. It makes me feel worthless. I am starting to realize that in order to be happy I NEED to be inside my introvert bubble while ignore to outside world completely. I think by calling other people idiots and brainwashed ignoramuses I try to protect my bubble so I can be happy. The problem is isolation. How to communicate only with people who are not out there to burst the happiness bubbles of other people? If only 1 % of people are like that, 99 % are not. It's devastating to realize isolation gives me happiness. I can't be happy without my introvert delusions. They make me feel the life is worth living.

This is the pattern of my life. It has happened so many times. I am a fragile person and other people can crush me easily. I need a strong bubble to protect me from anxiety and misery. Most people seem to be able to have high self-esteem while communicating with other people having various opininions. I can't. I have tried this. It's not working for me. So, now that I think I have gotten into music theory during the last year I won't share my "knowledge and understanding" with you! I won't allow you to crush my delusions about understanding music theory. Instead I concentrate on creating music because I am so excited to use what I know.

This is fascinating, thanks for sharing.

Might even be enough info to check my list of people that might have an extremely similar or same personality type- so if I found someone, often you can learn from their insights especially if they are older.

I would definitely be interested in discussing music theory. I've tried and even here in the past it has generated almost no interest. Make a thread or something.

I think one of the reasons i got into personality theory lately is the idea of connecting something so abstract to something so concrete and scientific, and it's exactly the same reason i found music theory so fascinating.

[André]

You have to learn when the internet is getting toxic for you and walk away from it.

It's harder on a message board that doesn't give you many tools to shut a conversation off (as I already noted, THIS message board will mark a conversation you've participated in as one you want to see replies in, permanently, and that's exactly why I've never posted in the thread that is annoying you so much).

The first step you can consider on this particular board is, if an individual is annoying you constantly then you can hide their posts. It will still show they've posted and you can choose to open the post to read the text, but it at least gives one barrier when you are feeling vulnerable.

Apart from that it's self learning about when you've got in too deep and too angry and it's doing you more damage than is worth the trouble. You learn to feel those signals and then go away to cool off.

Bravo ! Your post contains sound and practical pieces of advice. About 3 years ago I put some people on my ignore list. I choose to open a post only if I'm interested in a subject and only in my own time. It defuses the negativity (some people write mostly negative stuff) and I feel on a better footing when I am not caught unawares.

The hardest part is to abstain from chiming in when a subjects engages the emotions. We are not robots. We are human beings, with beliefs and feelings. We can get hurt. Staying away is a form of self protection.

I, too, wish I could 'ignore' a thread I have once contributed in. Unfortunately it's impossible  . Now that I've posted in this thread, it will forever pop up in the my list of unread threads. Something should be done about that. Can the board settings be changed by the Administrator ?

[JBS]

I have been reading but not commenting here because I want to let the OP enjoy one thread without my presence!

But please remember...no one is obligated to read every thread. Open the threads you want, don't open the threads you don't want. And at the end of the session, hit the "Mark all messages as read" button.

[Returns to read mode]

[drogulus]

    I never enabled a show me unread posts thing.

[Madiel]

    I never enabled a show me unread posts thing.

You don't have to enable it. It's sitting at the top of every page. Advertising itself as the quick way to see forum activity.

And for things you WANT to see it's a lot more convenient than trying to go through all the parts of the forum.

[71 dB]

I now concentrate on my own life in order to find peace of mind and joy
which I had before internet came dominant in our lives. Ignorance
is bliss when you don't know most people in the World disagrees with you.
I now know internet can do mental harm, make me angry and frustrated.
I have cared far too much about what other people think.

Not saying I leave for good, but I will be much less active.
If I am active I just state my opinions and ignore if people disagree.
I'm doing the same on other boards so, it's not this board,
it's internet discussion boards in general. So toxic places... 

This is fascinating, thanks for sharing.

Might even be enough info to check my list of people that might have an extremely similar or same personality type- so if I found someone, often you can learn from their insights especially if they are older.

I would definitely be interested in discussing music theory. I've tried and even here in the past it has generated almost no interest. Make a thread or something.

I think one of the reasons i got into personality theory lately is the idea of connecting something so abstract to something so concrete and scientific, and it's exactly the same reason i found music theory so fascinating.

Thanks to yourself!

I certainly would like to discuss music theory, but I have learned my lesson by now. Everything turns toxic in unexpected ways. It's a law of human nature.

[Florestan]

I now concentrate on my own life in order to find peace of mind and joy
which I had before internet came dominant in our lives. Ignorance
is bliss when you don't know most people in the World disagrees with you.
I now know internet can do mental harm, make me angry and frustrated.
I have cared far too much about what other people think.

Not saying I leave for good, but I will be much less active.

You have finally seen the light! Bravo!

[71 dB]

You have finally seen the light! Bravo!

Thanks! How about yourself? 

[drogulus]

     I like to stay in the dark so I can creep up on my opponents and strike without warning.

     

        

     

[Madiel]

     I like to stay in the dark so I can creep up on my opponents and strike without warning.

     

        

   

*chortle*

[SimonNZ]

Everything turns toxic in unexpected ways.

Insofar as hearing different points of view and having your own ideas challenged is "toxic".

[steve ridgway]

I now concentrate on my own life in order to find peace of mind and joy
which I had before internet came dominant in our lives. Ignorance
is bliss when you don't know most people in the World disagrees with you.
I now know internet can do mental harm, make me angry and frustrated.
I have cared far too much about what other people think.

Not saying I leave for good, but I will be much less active.
If I am active I just state my opinions and ignore if people disagree.
I'm doing the same on other boards so, it's not this board,
it's internet discussion boards in general. So toxic places... 

Thanks to yourself!

I certainly would like to discuss music theory, but I have learned my lesson by now. Everything turns toxic in unexpected ways. It's a law of human nature.

This is very useful thank you. I also tend to abandon boards in frustration, it seems whatever anyone says there is always someone to disagree with it.

[Karl Henning]

This is very useful thank you. I also tend to abandon boards in frustration, it seems whatever anyone says there is always someone to disagree with it.

Something to that, of course.

[drogulus]

     One of the truly awful things about "heaven" (along with everything else) is that there is no one to argue with.

[greg]

This is very useful thank you. I also tend to abandon boards in frustration, it seems whatever anyone says there is always someone to disagree with it.

No there isn't.
Just kidding. 

100% true... which is not a bad thing, really, as long as everyone isn't religiously glued to their own conclusions. That's the difference between it feeling like a discussion versus feeling like arguing.

Which is literally why it's called a "Discussion board" and not a "Argue to the death board" or a "Groupthink/Circlejerk board."

The best way to go about not feeling like that is to keep in mind that once you reach a conclusion about something in their mind, you should remember that there usually is going to be something you missed to throw off the equation. So throw it out there for people to discuss, and if someone present compelling evidence, you can change your mind and won't end up taking it personal. If it turns out no one has compelling evidence, then maybe over time you can gain some confidence that you're right.