Identity crisis! Who am I?

[71 dB]

I have told before how classical music meant to me the most around 1997 to 2002. That's when I was new to this music and I explored it like a child in a toy store. It was so exciting and some of it sounded insanely good! I listened to classical music SO MUCH at that time. Sometimes I listened to 5 hours of Handel alone on one day together with other composers.

During the last 20 years or so I have expanded my music taste outside classical music and discovered many, often surprising artists whose music resonates with me strongly. So strongly I have even doubted my sanity. This is what happened to me last December: Youtube recommended me a video of 100 or so "best" pop songs of the 80's. Since I don't know very well pop music of this era, I watched this 15 minutes long video with short clips of these songs. I decided to write down the artist name whenever something "nice" was played. The idea was to check these artists up on Spotify just in case.

Okay. The first name on the list of about a dozen artists was Air Supply. I went to spotify and started listening to their nameless album from 1985 (because I think the 80's pop sound was in it's "prime" around 85-86 based on earlier explorations into this music genre). Because I have never really listened to this kind of music (yacht rock/love ballads), it sounded pretty stupid and ridiculously syrapy at first, but I also noticed I kind of liked it nevertheless. It felt very well done for it's style. Energetic. Catchy. Full of feel. Even epic, but never annoying or tiring. I really liked the singing. The music felt surprisingly interesting for this kind of simple pop rock ballad music. So I listened to other albums by this band on Spotify. My ears and especially my mind started to accept the syrapy nature of this music. Alter hearing 3-4 albums I realized to my "horror" and confusion I actually like this band A LOT! I started buying their albums on CD (not that easy) and I have managed to get 10 of them. I have been listening to them alot and I just love this music! I don't care how stupid it is. It kicks ass! Russell Hitchcock is a fantastic singer and Graham Russell somehow manages to make this kind of simple music fresh, effective and interesting. The contrasts between verses and choruses work very well. All it took was to accept the syrapy taste to enjoy this music fully.

So, recently I have been listening to Air Supply, but also Carly Simon, King Crimson, Herbie Hancock and some other pop bands. Occationally I try classical music, but it sounds dull! What's going on? I feel like finding out I am not a fan of classical music. Sure, I can enjoy classical music, but it's so far from what classical music meant to me 20 years ago. Now you say I'm just having a non-classical listening period, but why have I struggled with classical music so much the last 15 years? I really tried to get "back" into classical last year and I did discover Haydn's Op. 20, but classical music struggles against some yacht rock band from Australia! That's crazy! Classical music should rule and dominate! There is something really broken between me and classical music and it's been this way for years.

20 years ago I KNEW what classical music I want to hear at a given moment. Nowadays I don't. I don't know what CD would be the right one for my mood. It's scary and I don't know what to do about it. Does classical music come back to me one day? I have invested a lot of money on my classical music collection. I did enjoy the Elgar CD I bought lately, but even Elgar struggles a bit to blow my mind. J. S. Bach's guitar music (transcription of BWV 1001) did nothing for me today, which was a real shock. Bach! Some non-classical music just works for me better these days. Maybe it's getting old. Maybe it's a brain damage. Maybe it's early dementia, but it's real for me.

The question is: Who am I? Am I a classical music fan the way I have thought I am? I am begining to doubt I am and perhaps 1997-2002 was just an anomaly, because of the novelty value. If you have been into classical music for decades how did you do it? How did you make Mahler interesting for yourself all those years? Do you enjoy the music as much as you did when you discovered it? I feel so lost with classical music... ...that's why I was so active here on the US politics thread. I have almost nothing to say about classical music except that I am struggling with it.

[Mirror Image]

I think you're thinking too much about all of this and should always rely on what your heart and mind tell you. Those are your judges at the end of the day. I don't really understand how anyone could say that classical music sounds dull and find even stranger that you'd feel the need to create a thread centered around you questioning whether you still like classical or not. Odd --- very, very odd.

[Brian]

Well, this gets at a much bigger truth, which is that people do change! It's perfectly natural to change, and normal to love things one decade and not the next. I don't know if you remember this but there was a former GMGer who said he spent something like 5 years listening to only Bach organ music, nothing else, ever. Point being, you wouldn't be the first GMG member to have a dramatic change in your listening habits. 

One other wrinkle is the pandemic. The extended isolation and dramatic lifestyle changes of covid-19 have affected a lot of people's brains. Here is a very good article published today about the effect of the pandemic on our brains. One thing they talk about is that people have started forgetting whole parts of their life from before - including hobbies, regularly scheduled events, even their own friends.

[Brahmsian]

I don't know if you remember this but there was a former GMGer who said he spent something like 5 years listening to only Bach organ music, nothing else, ever.

Coopmv (Stuart)?

[71 dB]

Well, this gets at a much bigger truth, which is that people do change! It's perfectly natural to change, and normal to love things one decade and not the next. I don't know if you remember this but there was a former GMGer who said he spent something like 5 years listening to only Bach organ music, nothing else, ever. Point being, you wouldn't be the first GMG member to have a dramatic change in your listening habits. 

Shouldn't the change be from yacht rock to baroque (rhimes!) rather than the other way around?

One other wrinkle is the pandemic. The extended isolation and dramatic lifestyle changes of covid-19 have affected a lot of people's brains. Here is a very good article published today about the effect of the pandemic on our brains. One thing they talk about is that people have started forgetting whole parts of their life from before - including hobbies, regularly scheduled events, even their own friends.

Corona has changed my life very little compared to many others. I wash my hands more and I wear a mask when I go to grocery store. Mentally this have been hard however, but what I wrote has applied also before corona - for 15 years or so...

[71 dB]

I think you're thinking too much about all of this and should always rely on what your heart and mind tell you. Those are your judges at the end of the day. I don't really understand how anyone could say that classical music sounds dull and find even stranger that you'd feel the need to create a thread centered around you questioning whether you still like classical or not. Odd --- very, very odd.

Well, my heart and mind tell me something very different from 20 years ago. Am I really the same guy, or did aliens tinker with my head 15 years ago? Aliens must have said: "This dude enjoys Corelli's Op. 5" far too much! Let's open his skull and make him like bubblegum pop instead... 

[Brahmsian]

I guess I am in a somewhat similar situation, but in a completely different way.

I can't imagine listening to any Beethoven these days, and I am saying this knowing he is one of my co-favourite composers and pretty much the reason for me exploring classical music over 16 years ago. Just over exposure of all kinds and it has reached a major saturation point.

[71 dB]

I guess I am in a somewhat similar situation, but in a completely different way.

I can't imagine listening to any Beethoven these days, and I am saying this knowing he is one of my co-favourite composers and pretty much the reason for me exploring classical music over 16 years ago. Just over exposure of all kinds and it has reached a major saturation point.

Over exposure? That's a good point! That might explain (at least partly) my situation. Thinking about it I feel the larger my classical music collection grew, the less it was able to blow me away... 

[Mirror Image]

Well, my heart and mind tell me something very different from 20 years ago. Am I really the same guy, or did aliens tinker with my head 15 years ago? Aliens must have said: "This dude enjoys Corelli's Op. 5" far too much! Let's open his skull and make him like bubblegum pop instead... 

Tastes do change and there's no denying that. Let's take myself, for example, I used to love Late-Romanticism and found it particularly rewarding to find unknown composers or composers who aren't that well-known and explore their music. But, in the back of my mind, I kept this kind of exploration reeled in as I must've had the intuition in realizing that this was a rabbit hole that I probably wasn't going to jump into again. It turns out my instincts and gut were correct as I seem to be more drawn to composers that broke the mold of tradition in their own unique and individual ways. I will freely admit that Debussy wasn't really that important to me when I was first getting into this music. He was merely someone who composed some nice orchestral works and that was that. As my tastes grew to embrace almost all of the classical genres (although I do still struggle a bit with a cappella choral music), I have been able to tap into Debussy's oeuvre from a completely different angle and this angle enabled me to find out what he really was about musically, so as my love for solo piano grew, so did my love for Debussy and really many of the composers with whom I liked, but I just didn't love or at least love fully. I think when a person gets out of their comfort zone as I have done, so many doors can open for you. Like I never would've thought I would be listening to Boulez or Xenakis. The very thought of these composers 11-12 years ago would've sent me screaming. I guess this is my roundabout way of telling you that, yes, I do believe people's tastes change, but also that in order for change to happen at all, you have to get away from music that you are comfortable with right now. This is the only way I can see a positive change and for musical growth to actually take place.

[Brian]

Coopmv (Stuart)?

Don S (Bulldog)

[Brahmsian]

Don S (Bulldog)

Ohhhhhhhh!! Is Don still around, under another username perhaps?

[Mirror Image]

Ohhhhhhhh!! Is Don still around, under another username perhaps?

No, it appears that he defected to the Talk Classical forum where all he does there is create game threads and seldom discusses music.

[71 dB]

I'm planning to listen to the Atterberg dics I bought last summer (Cello & Horn Concertos). So crazy to say I am "planning". In 2001 I would have listened to it the day it arrived, not half a year later... 

My main concern is my classical music collection. It's devastating to see 90 % of it become "useless" just because the music does so little for me and I don't even have a clue if it's temporary of permanent loss. I feel my psyche in relation to classical music is broken, but it's not only classical music. It's the World in general. I feel the World and I have so little in common these days. Maybe classical music is just collateral damage? Maybe straightforward pop music just speaks better to a cynical, tired and disappointed mind?

[Jo498]

You are not what you are listening to...
But I cannot think of anything better for the "world weary" or alienated or just fed up with the crazy and corrupt world to enjoy than classical music. Cf. the texts of e.g. "An die Musik" or "Ich bin der Welt abhanden gekommen".

[pjme]

.... a cynical, tired and disappointed mind?

Have you ever considered looking for professional help? How about family & friends?

[Florestan]

Since you are so much into pop songs, maybe you should try Lieder as well. And since you are so much into ballads, start with Carl Loewe. Who knows, maybe you'll love them. To my ears they are exactly  "Energetic. Catchy. Full of feel. Even epic, but never annoying or tiring."

How about this, for instance?

https://www.youtube.com/v/zB_eCn_ikEM

Also, Haydn's Scottish and Welsh songs arranged for voice and piano trio might work for you.

You know, there's plenty of "classical" music, including orchestral, which is unpretentious, light, catchy and fun.

[71 dB]

Since you are so much into pop songs, maybe you should try Lieder as well. And since you are so much into ballads, start with Carl Loewe. Who knows, maybe you'll love them. To my ears they are exactly  "Energetic. Catchy. Full of feel. Even epic, but never annoying or tiring."

How about this, for instance?

https://www.youtube.com/v/zB_eCn_ikEM

Also, Haydn's Scottish and Welsh songs arranged for voice and piano trio might work for you.

You know, there's plenty of "classical" music, including orchestral, which is unpretentious, light, catchy and fun.

I don't take recommendations anymore, but this gave me some ideas so Thanks!
I could try and re-visit Gottfried Heinrich Stölzel's chamber cantatas.

[The new erato]

Most of us have changed over the years, only you did it in reverse order.

That said, I still find that some variety is the spice of life. Both within classical music, and between genres.

[amw]

I grew up on classical music, but in high school and at university I spent a lot of time listening to jazz, analysing it and at times even understanding it. For a while I genuinely thought I'd successfully added jazz to the list of music genres that interest me, and was prepared to start collecting it. I think the last time I listened to a jazz album in full was around 2012.

Your music taste is not your personality, it's just what you happen to respond to at any given point in time. I consider myself a classical music person at the moment, but the truth is at the moment classical music, and specifically the 27239 unplayed tracks in my music library plus the possibility of interesting new releases, is the only thing standing between me and slitting my wrists. At any point in the future it may stop working and I may, by that time, have developed some new obsession that keeps me alive instead, and the 171219 (and counting) tracks of classical music on my hard drive will be consigned to obscurity. (At least a hard drive is easier to keep in storage than a shelf full of CDs.) Or I may not, in which case the hard drive will be consigned to my next of kin. Do I make Mahler interesting for years? No, but I like a sufficiently wide range of stuff that any particular composer I'm sick of can be absent from the rotation for months or years. Do I enjoy the music as much as when I discovered it? I wouldn't say I enjoy classical music at this point; it's more like breathing for me. Listening and analysing is a very natural process that I don't think about (much).

Classical music is not better than non-classical music, or more interesting, or more complex, etc. It's just another genre. Like all other types of music, it only exists to provide various forms of entertainment (sensual, emotional, spiritual, cathartic, psychological, analytical). If you are not entertained, don't listen to it.

[The new erato]

I tend to agree, except that classical music has 700 years of varied greatness available, and polar music much less (due to it not being notated). Though the distinction is not always easy. Significant parts of Mozarts music was popular music, though the populace that had access to it were rather small..