Music vs. Life

[Brian]

Claire Dederer has a chapter about this in her book "Monsters," specifically about the pressure that women artists have felt historically to raise their kids, tidy their house, etc. in opposition to creating their artwork. She asks if a woman who does a bad job raising her kids because she's busy creating artwork is a bad person because of it, with the examples of Doris Lessing, who kept one of her three children when she moved to London to become a writer, and Joni Mitchell, who put a baby up for adoption so she could become a rock star.

Dederer writes:

"Art is often seen as voluntary, an item in a list of choices you're making, a task that can be prioritized or dispensed with, depending on available resources and time. An item to be balanced against the exigencies of family. But. If you are an artist and you always, always put your children's needs first, eventually your own need will make itself heard and you will wonder, 'What would I have made in those lost years?' You will wonder, 'Am I too late?'

"And you might be too late. You might have needed those years, when your kids were small. Just the way other workers also need those years if they are to have a career. And the way still other workers need those years if they are to make a living."

Edit: I think her book is really incredible, and have previously cited it here.

[Florestan]

Tchaikovsky and Janáček seem to have been happier without their wives, certainly.  And Herr and Frau Haydn, while never actually separating, lived separate lives from quite early on.

Tchaikovsky was gay and his marriage was a very short-lived mistake. Haydn had various love affairs, the most famous with Luigia Polzelli, with whom most probably he had a son. I don't know Janacek's case so I can't comment.

[Florestan]

Claire Dederer has a chapter about this in her book "Monsters," specifically about the pressure that women artists have felt historically to raise their kids, tidy their house, etc. in opposition to creating their artwork. She asks if a woman who does a bad job raising her kids because she's busy creating artwork is a bad person because of it, with the examples of Doris Lessing, who kept one of her three children when she moved to London to become a writer, and Joni Mitchell, who put a baby up for adoption so she could become a rock star.

Reminds me of Rousseau, who sent his children to the orphanage so that he can concentrate on writing at length about how children should be raised and educated. Nietzsche's labeling him a moral tarantula is particularly apt in this respect.

[DaveF]

Tchaikovsky was gay and his marriage was a very short-lived mistake. Haydn had various love affairs, the most famous with Luigia Polzelli, with whom most probably he had a son. I don't know Janacek's case so I can't comment.

Yes, I know about those details, but Gauguin himself, who started this thread, didn't leave a perfectly happy and fulfilling family life to pursue his art; his own marriage was falling apart at the time.  (Wikipedia article is very good and in parts, very funny - Gauguin moved to Denmark to work as a tarpaulin salesman, but failed because he didn't speak Danish and the Danes didn't want French tarpaulins.)

[Florestan]

Gauguin himself, who started this thread,

Wrong. I started this thread.   

[DaveF]

Wrong. I started this thread.   

You did indeed .  I was half way through typing my reply on page 2 and too lazy to look back to see exactly how it began.  Gauguin, failed tarpaulin salesman and stockbroker, didn't butt in until halfway down page 1.

[vandermolen]

Quite a few great composers never married:

Bruckner
Brahms
Beethoven
Miaskovsky (well, I consider him great  )

But others who had families were equally great IMO
Shostakovich
Prokofiev
Sibelius...etc

[relm1]

I believe Ravel never even dated leading some to conclude he was gay but not clear there was any evidence for that either.  He just never had a romantic relationship with anyone.

[Brian]

But others who had families were equally great IMO
Shostakovich
Prokofiev
Sibelius...etc

Bach