memorable quotes by dumbasses page

[Brian]

LOL, that reminds me of an ancient history class.

Teacher: [talking about certain office holders (can't remember the details, it's too long ago ) in ancient Greece] They were chosen by lot.

Loveable Ditz: Who's Lot? 

If I remember correctly, he's the guy whose daughters gave him a good time.

[ezodisy]

How this thread was ever neglected I don't know.

Been reading a Financial Times interview from Nov with Belarusian President Alexander Lukashenko.

Q."How would you assess election standards in Belarus?"

A."Election standards in Belarus are not only transparent, not only democratic, but democratic and transparent without precedent."

Worth a read, there are quite a few of these (the "what makes a good father?" among others)

http://rassegnastampa.mef.gov.it/mefinternazionale/PDF/2008/2008-11-18/2008111811141838.pdf

[Diletante]

I love these threads with stupidities!

We had this girl in school who was known for quite a few 'gems'. Here is one of hers:

After we had listened to a lengthy exposition about Judaism by some of our classmates, the girl asked the teacher in an almost dramatically serious tone:

Teacher, does Judaism have anything to do with the Jewish religion?

[karlhenning]

I love these threads with stupidities!

We had this girl in school who was known for quite a few 'gems'. Here is one of hers:

After we had listened to a lengthy exposition about Judaism by some of our classmates, the girl asked the teacher in an almost dramatically serious tone:

Teacher, does Judaism have anything to do with the Jewish religion?

If she had somehow confused, say, Zionism for Judaism, though, the question makes sense.

[knight66]

I am quoting myself from another thread.

"A long time ago, when I was a young manager, I had a group of people three of whom happened to be called John Smith. Sitting working, I happened to hear the daftest of the trio, and frankly, it was a close run race, say; 'So that's why they called the month October.' I then asked what they were chatting about.

JS the Egregious 'Well, hundreds of years ago, there was this plague of octopus. They called it the year of the octopus. But once the year was ended, they were so sad, they decided to rename one of the months, so they would never forget the plague. So they ended up with October.'

I pointed out that October was the eighth month of the Roman calender. Immediately JS shot back; 'Nah, it is the 10th month, so that's rubbish....look, Octopus the word starts, O-C-T-O. October, the word starts O-C-T-O.......I rest my case.

I decided that such stupidity was almost treasureable, I just smiled; we all got back to the task and for all I know John Smith The Egregious still believes his fairy story. No one on the entire team thought the octopus explanation unlikely.

There are some people you cannot help.

I rest my case."

Mike

[karlhenning]

Wow, Mike. Wow.

Separately . . .

I think most people recognize political satire when they see it.

That was in "defense" of Barack the Magic Negro

[Superhorn]

   George W Bush is has certainly been a terrible president, probably the worst ever, and totally incompetent and misguided. But he is not an evil or malicious man in any way. He does not preach intolerance and hate. His social and economic policies have been awful. But he is for example much more tolerant of gays than many on the religious right. He is more pathetic than contemptible.

[Anne]

I love these threads with stupidities!

We had this girl in school who was known for quite a few 'gems'. Here is one of hers:

After we had listened to a lengthy exposition about Judaism by some of our classmates, the girl asked the teacher in an almost dramatically serious tone:

Teacher, does Judaism have anything to do with the Jewish religion?

Was her hair blonde by any chance?

[imperfection]

Interview conducted on a random street, New York

Interviewer: Hey mam, may I ask you a question? It is a survey of the ordinary American's IQ.

Dumbass woman: Sure.

Interviewer: Name one country that starts with the letter U.

Dumbass woman: Er...er....um....ah.....ERRR.....*30 seconds later* ( hesitantly) Utah, Yugoslavia??...hmm...not too sure...

Interviewer: Hah hah. How about this one: (gets closer to the woman) United States of America.

Dumbass woman: OHHHH YEAH!!!

[karlhenning]

Emerson's technical perfection combined with the transparency of their textures may create the illusion of a great interpretation . . . .

[Joe_Campbell]

I don't understand this. What separates an illusion of a great interpretation from a great interpretation, if one only has one's senses as the judge?

[karlhenning]

I don't understand this. What separates an illusion of a great interpretation from a great interpretation, if one only has one's senses as the judge?

The technical perfection of the grammar combined with the transparency of the words' meaning may create the illusion of a sensible remark . . . .

[Joe_Campbell]

The technical perfection of the grammar combined with the transparency of the words' meaning may create the illusion of a sensible remark . . . .

[PSmith08]

The technical perfection of the grammar combined with the transparency of the words' meaning may create the illusion of a sensible remark . . . .

It's sneaky that way.

I went to an all-male college, so my collection of memorable quotes is broad and deep. My favorite one, of course, didn't come from a colleague, but former Attorney General John Ashcroft, who insisted to a packed house at my alma mater that we could better appreciate the freedom we have if the government takes some of it away.

[karlhenning]

But . . . did it seem prophetic at the time, Patrick? 

[Bulldog]

My wife sometimes watches the TV show "The Housewives of Atlanta" or maybe "The Housewives of Orange County".  Anyways, one of the dumbass wives on one of those shows has an interest in being a professional singer (although her voice is horrible).  She goes to a voice trainer who tells her that she needs to become well versed in reading music and other aspects of the profession.  Her reply is, "I don't need to know anything about music, I'm a singer".

[PSmith08]

But . . . did it seem prophetic at the time, Patrick? 

No, this was after Uncle John returned to civilian life. He was defending the fait accompli.

[karlhenning]

My wife sometimes watches the TV show "The Housewives of Atlanta" or maybe "The Housewives of Orange County".  Anyways, one of the dumbass wives on one of those shows has an interest in being a professional singer (although her voice is horrible).  She goes to a voice trainer who tells her that she needs to become well versed in reading music and other aspects of the profession.  Her reply is, "I don't need to know anything about music, I'm a singer".

That's an echo of a famous Elvis quote (whether she meant it so or not) . . . .

[Bulldog]

That's an echo of a famous Elvis quote (whether she meant it so or not) . . . .

That housewife is so dumb that I doubt she could remember any quotes.

[karlhenning]

What, and Elvis was a genius?