Funny Conductor Quotes and Stories

[George K]

Browsing around, I stumbled on a couple of quotations by Thomas Beecham (to the lady with the cello), and it struck me that there must be dozens, if not hundreds, of funny stories like that about the legendary conductors (and composers (Wagner: "Never look at the trombones, it only encourages them.")) that we can share. A quick google of "Beecham Quotes" was a goldmine of possible sig lines and humor.

Anyone else?

[hornteacher]

Wagner: "Never look at the trombones, it only encourages them."

For some reason, I thought that was Strauss.  I could be mistaken though.

[knight66]

It was Richard Strauss.

Here are some other quotes.....

One from the heart....."Oh how wonderful, really wonderful opera would be if there were no singers!" -- Gioacchino Rossini

Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. -- Robert Benchley

Richard Wagner wrote music which is better than it sounds. -- Mark Twain

Someone commented to Rudolph Bing, manager of the Metropolitan Opera, that "George Szell is his own worst enemy." "Not while I'm alive, he isn't!" said Bing.

"Parsifal is the kind of opera that starts at six o'clock and after it has been going three hours, you look at your watch and it says 6:20."--David Randolph

Mike

[George K]

As to trombones:
http://home.att.net/~bobbeecher/trombone/trombone.html Says it was Strauss.
http://thinkexist.com/quotes/richard_wagner/ Says Wagner.

Go figger. I think, if memory serves from a lecture by Greenberg, that Strauss is correct. I'll have to find it.

Wasn't there a sign posted in Boston Symphony Hall back in the late 19th century that said:
"Exit in case of Brahms"?

Then there's Britten: "It's not bad Brahms I mind', it's good Brahms I can't stand."

[knight66]

"Exit in case of Brahms"--Philip Hale's proposed inscription over the doors of Boston Symphony Hall.

Mike

[Maciek]

There were some great funny threads like this on the old forum. I found 2, perhaps there were more?

Quotations from Finnish conductor Leif Segerstam

Ormandy - Quotes

Enjoy!
Maciek

[Lilas Pastia]

The Ormandy quotes are legendary, but apparently only a portion of them are from him. I've never seen this claim substantiated though.

[MishaK]

One of my favorites: Alberto Erede to an overly emotive Mimi in a La Boheme rehearsal: "Signorina, you don't die until the last act!"

[Wendell_E]

Strauss to the orchestra during the rehearsals for the premiere of Elektra:  "Louder! I can still hear Frau Schumann-Heink!"

[Iago]

Fritz Reiner often conducted the Prelude to Act I (beginning of the opera)and the "Leibestod" from Act III (the end of the opera) of Tristan and Isolde. He always looked totally exhausted after doing so, although both put together are at best, 20 minutes long.
When asked by his valet why he appeared so tired, Reiner answered---

"IDIOT". Don't you realize I conducted that entire opera?
So what if I made some cuts??

[m_gigena]

There were some great funny threads like this on the old forum. I found 2, perhaps there were more?

Quotations from Finnish conductor Leif Segerstam

Ormandy - Quotes

Enjoy!
Maciek

This one here.

[Cato]

A workman wearing a hat carries some lumber past Toscanini, who is conducting an orchestra in rehearsal.  Toscanini stops and knocks the workman's hat off with his baton.

"Hey!  What's the matter with you?  This ain't no church!"

Toscanini: "When we play music, the hall becomes a church."

[Valentino]

Who was Beecham's cellist? One source has told me who she was, but I'd like to hear it from someone in here, if you care to be so indescrete.

[Hector]

Beecham was rehearsing at Covent Garden when the tenor leaned over into the pit and said: "Sir Thomas I cannot perform in this position."

"Sir," said Sir Thomas, "I have given some of my BEST performances in that position."

On disc, rehearsing Haydn's 'Military' symphony: "Are there no side drums in the symphony?"

When told there were not he responded: "How very remiss of Haydn."

When told that Sir Malcolm Sargent had been attacked in Africa he said: "I didn't know the natives were so musical."

[Shrunk]

I make no claims to the authenticity of this story, but reportedly George Szell was in the middle of a rehearsal, when he stopped the orchestra and said "Trumpets, you're supposed to be playing 'forte'".  They resumed playing, with the trumpets playing louder, but he again interrupted, pounded the music stand, and yelled, "No!  Forte!  Forte!"  This was repeated several times, the trumpets playing more loudly each time, before one of the trumpeters meekly said, "But, sir, we're playing as loud as we can."  To which Szell replied, "I know you are.  You started at fortissimo!"

[jochanaan]

Shrunk, that was Beecham too. From "Beecham Stories" as compiled by Harold Atkins and Archie Newman:

"Once, when Sir Thomas was rehearsing an orchestra not his own, the trombones came in very loudly.  He stopped and said, 'Trombones, would you please give us forte.'
They played even louder, and he stopped again with 'No, I'm asking for it to be played forte.'
They nearly burst themselves next time, but Beecham stopped again.
'I wanted forte,' he said mildly.  'You have been playing consistently double-forte.'"

My college music director used to say, "Cleanliness is next to godliness.  Some of you are in trouble."

Going back a little further, George Frideric Handel once led a certain tenor named Dubourg in a performance of The Messiah.  This was in the days when soloists were expected to embellish and improvise, rather than singing the written notes and only the written notes.  Anyway, Dubourg seems to have gotten hopelessly lost, then to have come back to the home key entirely by accident, whereupon Handel roared, "Welcome home, Mr. Dubourg!"

[knight66]

Another nice Handel story was an instance where he was arguing during a stage rehearsal with a prima donna. She became sufficiently angry that she threatened to jump into his harpsichord.

His reply was that he would like some notice; as he could assuredly sell more tickets to watch her jump than to listen to her sing.

Mike

[Shrunk]

Shrunk, that was Beecham too.....

Oh, well.  Like I said, I can't guarantee the incident really happened.  It's interesting how the story varies to reflect the personality of the conductor in question.  I suppose it could have happened twice....

[m_gigena]

This was in the days when soloists were expected to embellish and improvise, rather than singing the written notes and only the written notes. 

My local orchestra truly works that way. This is from a rehearsal (I'm stealing my own material):

- Take a real look at the flats and sharps, we're composing a lot. * (Maestro Izmirliev)

[knight66]

Manuel, Thanks, I don't know how I missed that first time round, a whole string of pearls.

This one I liked especially. "It is my way to demand, excuse me. Even a kick, given with love, is tasty... * (Carfi)"

Mike