GWB looks for a job after Jan 20, 2009

[Iago]

>     Subject: This person needs a job (Please don't skip the last section!)
>     
>       This individual seeks an executive position.
>       
>      He will be available in January 2009, and is willing to relocate.
>     
>       RESUME
>     
>       GEORGE W. BUSH
>       1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
>       Washington, DC 20520
>       
>      EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE :
>     
>       Law Enforcement:
>     
>      I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
>      influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
>      license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and
>      is not available.
>     
>       Military:
>     
>      I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a
>      drug test or answer any questions ab out my drug use. By joining the Texas
>      Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
>     
>       College:
>     
>      I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a
>      cheerleader.
>     
>       PAST WORK EXPERIENCE :
>     
>       I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
>     
>       I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas , in 1975. I
>      bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went
>      bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
>       
>      I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took
>      land using taxpayer money.
>     
>       With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including
>      Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
>     
>       ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS :
>     
>       I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
>      Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston
>      replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
>     
>       I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
>      borrowed money.
>     
>       I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
>      history.
>     
>       With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's
>      appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United
>      States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.
>     
>       ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
>     
>       I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
>      record.
>     
>       I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
>      billion dollars per week.
>     
>        ;I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
>     
>       I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
>     
>       I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
>      12-month period.
>     
>       I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
>     
>       I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S.
>      stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost
>      their jobs and that trend continues.
>     
>       I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
>      administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza
>      Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
>     
>       I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
>     
>       I am the all-time U.S. and w orld record -holder for receiving the most
>      corporate campaign donations.
>
>       My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
>      Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S.
>      history, Enron.
>     
>       My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
>      assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
>     
>       I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation
>      or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica
>      Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest
>      corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis
>      in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil
>      in dustry was revealed.
>     
>       I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
>     
>       I changed the U.S. policy to allow convict ex criminals to be awarded
>      government contracts.
>     
>       I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any
>      President in U.S. history.
>     
>       I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in
>      the history of the United States Government.
>     
>       I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
>      history.
>     
>       I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove
>      the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
>     
>       I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
>     
>       I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees
>      and thereby have refused to a bide by the Geneva Convention.
>     
>       I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
>      inspectors (during the 2002 US election).
>     
>       I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President
>      since the advent of television.
>     
>       I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
>      period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the         
            worst security failure in U.S. history.
>     
>       I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade
>      Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in
>      the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
>     
>       I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
>      protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for
>     &n bsp;protests against any person in the history of mankind.
>     
>       I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
>      pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did             
         so against
>      the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the
>      world community.
>     
>       I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
>      benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
>     
>       In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
>      Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
>     
>       I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%)
>      view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
>     
>       I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
>     
>       I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to
>      justice.
>     
>       RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
>     
>       All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
>      library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
>     
>       All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt
>      companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
>     
>       All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President,
>      attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
>      public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available
>      for 50 years.

[Lethevich]

Hehe, that was fun

[MishaK]

>       I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

For the record, this is called the International Criminal Court. There is no such thing as the "World Court of Law". And the US was never member of it, Congress never having ratified the Rome Statute, which Clinton had signed. But Bush "unsigned" it. An unprecedented act of unclear legal effect.

>       All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
>      library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

This I did not know. I wonder about the legality of that and whether it could be challeneged. I don't see on what basis a former president can seal documents in his library from public scrutiny that do not at all pretain to his presidency.

[(poco) Sforzando]

He sells himself short, failing to list some of his most notable accomplishments - such as:

"I'm proud to state that under my administration, America does not torture. A few bad apples may have subjected certain Iraqi prisoners to violations of the Geneva Conventions at Abu Ghraib, but I knew nothing about that and this is not the official policy of my administration, which allows only humane methods of interrogation such as waterboarding."

[Que]

For me as an outsider it has always intrigued me: how did he become repeatedly elected into public office in the first place? As governor of Texas, then twice as president of the USA. And I'm not referring to his political ideas (if he has any), but I'm sure there are more competent politicians?

Q

[Don]

For me as an outsider it has always intrigued me: how did he become repeatedly elected into public office in the first place? As governor of Texas, then twice as president of the USA. And I'm not referring to his political ideas (if he has any), but I'm sure there are more competent politicians?

Q

Name recognition and he seemed like a regular guy.

[JoshLilly]

One nitpick: I read a few years ago that the oil tanker Condoleezza Rice was renamed.

I just checked to make sure I was remembering correctly, and found it was renamed Altair Voyager due to several obvious reasons.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2001/05/05/MN223743.DTL&type=printable