The Joke Thread

[Karl Henning]

Oh, this is awful:

My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only had 9 toes.

She was lack toes intolerant.

[George]

Oh, this is awful:

My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only had 9 toes.

She was lack toes intolerant.

I suppose it should be 8 toes or less, right? 9 toes means she's lack toe interant. 

[Karl Henning]

No idea how many allusions to this scene I saw/heard over the years, this is the first I've seen the source:

[Henk]

I propose a one-letter thread, could be fun. Or a one-number thread, could be dumb. 😄

Also a means to speed up post amount to approach Karl. Karl is on a lonesome height.

[vandermolen]

I was out until 3.00am celebrating the wife's birthday. She was furious when I got home.

[Karl Henning]

I was out until 3.00am celebrating the wife's birthday. She was furious when I got home.

(* chortle *)

[Karl Henning]

I propose a one-letter thread, could be fun. Or a one-number thread, could be dumb. 😄

Also a means to speed up post amount to approach Karl. Karl is on a lonesome height.

Well, I've slowed down since my stroke.

[DaveF]

I was out until 3.00am celebratimg the wife's birthday. She was furious when I got home.

Are you related to the Scotsman who went to Spain on his honeymoon, but didn't take his wife because she'd been there before?

[Iota]

My Gran died on her hundredth birthday - I knew giving her the bumps was a mistake.

[Florestan]

the Scotsman who went to Spain on his honeymoon, but didn't take his wife because she'd been there before?

He was probably the same Scotsman who asked the gasoline station boy "How much is a drop of gasoline?" and upon the boy's replying "A drop? That's for free, sir!" he asked "Then drop the tank full, son!"

[Henk]

Well, I've slowed down since my stroke.

That sounds bad, I hope you have fully recovered. Anyway you're still far ahead, I don't think anyone is able to catch-up for a long time. It's not a competition of course, but it still is legendary.

[Karl Henning]

That sounds bad, I hope you have fully recovered. Anyway you're still far ahead, I don't think anyone is able to catch-up for a long time. It's not a competition of course, but it still is legendary.

Recovery's going well, althiough recovery of my left hand is slow going. Thanks!

[Henk]

Recovery's going well, althiough recovery of my left hand is slow going. Thanks!

Good to hear, Karl. Your composing is going well too as I've witnessed in your thread dedicated to it. So that is reassuring as well.

[George]

[vandermolen]

'I used to go out with Fatima Whitbread [former British champion Javelin-thrower] but she chucked me.'

[vandermolen]

I like this one:

[San Antone]

Cat lovers appreciate this:

A dog and a cat are at the "Pearly Gates" waiting to enter heaven.  God asks the dog, "were you a good dog?" and the dog replies, " I think so. I was loyal, obedient, learned many tricks, and protected my owner." 

God turns to the cat and asks if he were good. The cat replies, "you're in my chair."

[Pohjolas Daughter]

Cat lovers appreciate this:

A dog and a cat are at the "Pearly Gates" waiting to enter heaven.  God asks the dog, "were you a good dog?" and the dog replies, " I think so. I was loyal, obedient, learned many tricks, and protected my owner." 

God turns to the cat and asks if he were good. The cat replies, "you're in my chair."

 

PD

[Irons]

My wife has left me for my best friend - I really miss him!

[Karl Henning]

Cat lovers appreciate this:

A dog and a cat are at the "Pearly Gates" waiting to enter heaven.  God asks the dog, "were you a good dog?" and the dog replies, " I think so. I was loyal, obedient, learned many tricks, and protected my owner." 

God turns to the cat and asks if he were good. The cat replies, "you're in my chair."

My sister got a chuckle out of that, too!