The Joke Thread

Started by karlhenning, April 25, 2007, 12:34:49 PM

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North Star

Quote from: vandermolen on September 04, 2017, 10:11:51 AM
Mark Steele's explanation of a 'Freudian Slip'

'I was having breakfast with my mother in law last week when I made an embarrassing Freudian Slip. I meant to say 'please would you mind passing the butter' but instead of that I said 'you stupid cow - you've ruined my life'.
https://www.youtube.com/v/R87VRUvmNh0
"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." - Confucius

My photographs on Flickr

snyprrr

Why did the astronomer put a hamburger in the bathtub?






Cause he wanted a meatier shower! ;)

drogulus


     What if there were no hypothetical questions?
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vandermolen

#423
Quote from: North Star on September 04, 2017, 10:56:18 AM
https://www.youtube.com/v/R87VRUvmNh0

Excellent! I wonder which came first - this or Mark Steele. He did a series on scientists in history. The other one which made me laugh was, while dresseh up as Newton with a 'Newton's Cradle' in front of him he demonstrated his theory of gravity not by using it but by smashing the whole thing into a vase at the end of the table.

Here is Mark Steel's lecture on Freud.
I put an extraneous 'e' on his name in earlier posts:

https://youtu.be/Etiwwbpr1Y4

Here is his lecture on Newton. The demonstration using Newton's Crasle is at about 9.15 minutes.

https://youtu.be/cEbreJsRo08
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

'The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good' (Stanley Kubrick).

vandermolen

Quote from: snyprrr on September 04, 2017, 12:31:41 PM
Why did the astronomer put a hamburger in the bathtub?






Cause he wanted a meatier shower! ;)
Excellent! 😀
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

'The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good' (Stanley Kubrick).

George

"I used to date this girl who worked for a record company. After our first date, she sent me a bunch of CDs in the mail. Now I just need to take her out three more times over the next five years."

- Jeff Ross
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

geralmar

Quote from: North Star on August 13, 2015, 02:55:48 AM
What do you get when you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac? ... a person who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Then there was the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa.

vandermolen

My daughter posted this to me:
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

'The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good' (Stanley Kubrick).

George

"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

SimonNZ


JBS


Hollywood Beach Broadwalk

Ken B

Quote from: SimonNZ on April 19, 2019, 06:20:13 PM
For Passover:


It scares me that I get that joke.

Note a joke, but sad, and related: Recently the AP reported that when in mourning Jews sit and shiver.


Who paid for the last supper?
Jesus got nailed for it.

Florestan

Quote from: JBS on April 19, 2019, 06:25:12 PM
:D

Quote from: Ken B on April 19, 2019, 06:35:38 PM
It scares me that I get that joke.

Please, guys, enlighten me. I didn't get it at all.  ???
Every kind of music is good, except the boring kind. — Rossini

George

Quote from: Florestan on April 20, 2019, 05:45:12 AM
Please, guys, enlighten me. I didn't get it at all.  ???

It's a play on the the words night and knight. The translation of the phrase the knight uttered is "Why is tonight different from all other nights?"
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

George

"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

Florestan

Quote from: George on April 20, 2019, 05:50:59 AM
It's a play on the the words night and knight. The translation of the phrase the knight uttered is "Why is tonight different from all other nights?"

Thanks a lot. Funny indeed.
Every kind of music is good, except the boring kind. — Rossini

George

Quote from: Florestan on April 20, 2019, 06:23:15 AM
Thanks a lot. Funny indeed.

No problem.

In all fairness, I had to Google a translation of what the Knight said.  8)
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

Ken B

Quote from: drogulus on September 04, 2017, 02:12:32 PM
     What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What is a rhetorical answer?

Karl Henning

Courtesy of the immortal Phil Proctor (though I have an idea I heard it before now)

A guy walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol, and yelled, "I have a .45 caliber Colt 1911 with a seven-round magazine plus one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."

Avoice from the back of the room called out, "You need more ammo!"
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Ken B

Quote from: k a rl h e nn i ng on July 17, 2019, 10:14:49 AM
Courtesy of the immortal Phil Proctor (though I have an idea I heard it before now)

A guy walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol, and yelled, "I have a .45 caliber Colt 1911 with a seven-round magazine plus one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."

Avoice from the back of the room called out, "You need more ammo!"
Ha!