The Joke Thread

[Pohjolas Daughter]

Seen on Twitter:

hy couldn't the devil make cheese?

There's no whey in hell.

Boooooo! 

Here are some memes for the day:



I especially feel that last one!

I particularly like the black hole one.  Alas, I'm missing out on the point of the truck/shipping one.  And re the third, well, sometimes life doesn't always go as planned. 

PD

[DavidW]

Boooooo! 
I particularly like the black hole one.  Alas, I'm missing out on the point of the truck/shipping one.  And re the third, well, sometimes life doesn't always go as planned. 

PD

The truck is being catapulted to be able to make the delivery on time.

[Karl Henning]

The truck is being catapulted to be able to make the delivery on time.

Thanks, and thanks to PD for asking. I didn't get it, either.

[Pohjolas Daughter]

Thanks David.

And good to know that I wasn't along Karl! 

PD

[milk]

It's very difficult to find jokes that my four-and-a-half year old can understand. Here's one I think he gets: why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9.
Here's another:
Why do giraffes have long necks? Because their feet stink.

[Pohjolas Daughter]

It's very difficult to find jokes that my four-and-a-half year old can understand. Here's one I think he gets: why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9.
Here's another:
Why do giraffes have long necks? Because their feet stink.

Very cute! 

Here are a couple of kid/G rated ones for you (though probably need to delay them for a few years in terms of sharing with your kid):

*Where does the Lone Ranger bring his trash?  To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump, etc.  [Think Rossini "William Tell Overture"].

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?  Ba na na naaaaa [Think, Fifth]

*Alas, dated I know!

I'll run away now! lol

PD

[George]

This cheeseburger walks into a bar and says "give me a beer." Bartender says "we don't serve food here."

[milk]

This cheeseburger walks into a bar and says "give me a beer." Bartender says "we don't serve food here."

Nice!

Very cute! 

Here are a couple of kid/G rated ones for you (though probably need to delay them for a few years in terms of sharing with your kid):

*Where does the Lone Ranger bring his trash?  To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump, etc.  [Think Rossini "William Tell Overture"].
I like these music-related ones. I remember the Lone Ranger.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?  Ba na na naaaaa [Think, Fifth]

*Alas, dated I know!

I'll run away now! lol

PD

[Pohjolas Daughter]

This cheeseburger walks into a bar and says "give me a beer." Bartender says "we don't serve food here."

PD

[SimonNZ]

An unexpectedly jokey question in the final of the 2013 University Challenge:

What song's opening lyrics would best be answered with the replies: "No', "no", "no", "no" and "get them yourself"?

hint: music written in 1916 to words from 1804

[Szykneij]

An unexpectedly jokey question in the final of the 2013 University Challenge:

What song's opening lyrics would best be answered with the replies: "No', "no", "no", "no" and "get them yourself"?

hint: music written in 1916 to words from 1804

Google says "Jerusalem is a classic hymn sung as an anthem. It was originally written as a poem by William Blake in 1804. Hubert Parry set it to music in 1916. It is seen by many as England's unofficial national anthem."

[Karl Henning]

Why did the man name his legless dog Cigarette?

Because every morning he took him out for a drag.

[vandermolen]

What happened to the man who stole the rhubarb?

He got held in custody

[Karl Henning]

Seen on Twitter:
Hmm... look at that. I was just reading there are no canaries on the Canary Islands.
Same thing with the Virgin Islands... no canaries there either.

[George]

Heard about the new Ford Mute? It goes without saying.


(I am particualrly proud of this one. I think this is the best joke I have written.)

[Mapman]

Monday's XKCD will likely be of interest to many here.



I reinterpreted the linear pitch scale as a standard log scale. The results (score, transposed down for legibility, and audio) are attached.

[Karl Henning]

Heard about the new Ford Mute? It goes without saying.


(I am particualrly proud of this one. I think this is the best joke I have written.)

Very nice!

[Karl Henning]

[George]

[Karl Henning]

Doonesbury '89