Dont let these people write your Resume....

[Saul]

Personal: Married 20 years; own a home, along with a friendly mortgage company.

My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable.

Exposure to German for two years, but many words are inappropriate for business.

Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.

Excellent memory; strong math aptitude; excellent memory; effective management skills; and very good at math.

If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope.

Reason for leaving last job: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job.

Graduated in the top 66% of my class.
Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel.
Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a daily basis.
References: Leanne Kaye-Deceased Nov. 14, 1997.
I will take the chaos of your office and reform it into a semblance of simple disorder

Education: College August 1880 - May 1984.

You are privileged to receive my resume.

"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."


"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation."


"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."


"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous employers."

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."

"I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award"

[Brian]

  those are terrific!!

Especially these two:
"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job."
"If this resume doesn't blow your hat off, then please return it in the enclosed envelope."