Author Topic: I hope I die before I get old  (Read 2331 times)

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Offline маразм1

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I hope I die before I get old
« on: May 03, 2008, 05:59:22 PM »
Just a thought...
My grandfather is 91.  It's very sad that he's losing memory progressively.  Soon he won't even remember my name!!  He doesnt remember all the exciting war stories he told me, he doesnt remember people he worked with, places he's been to. 

I dunno about you, but I'd rather die young than go through this.  I'd rather leave this world gracefully than turn into a violent vegetable.  Have you ever seen these old people who can't even speak anymore and they go down the street and yell off the top of their lungs something that's not even a human language. 

I'm just really depressed!  It's like it's the same person, yet not quite the same anymore.  ugh!

d.

Offline Tsaraslondon

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Re: I hope I die before I get old
« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2008, 01:45:15 AM »
Just a thought...
My grandfather is 91.  It's very sad that he's losing memory progressively.  Soon he won't even remember my name!!  He doesnt remember all the exciting war stories he told me, he doesnt remember people he worked with, places he's been to. 

I dunno about you, but I'd rather die young than go through this.  I'd rather leave this world gracefully than turn into a violent vegetable.  Have you ever seen these old people who can't even speak anymore and they go down the street and yell off the top of their lungs something that's not even a human language. 

I'm just really depressed!  It's like it's the same person, yet not quite the same anymore.  ugh!

d.


There is nothing worse than watching a loved one gradually lose their faculties and your sentiments are perfectly understandable. I have a friend whose mother has Alzheimer's. She is in a home, doesn't recognize her daughters, and often becomes quite violent when she sees them. My friend says that, for her, her mother died years ago; that what is in her mother's body  is no longer her mother.

On the other hand, I have come across people in their 90s, who are perfectly capable of looking after themselves and are also mentally fit as a fiddle. My mother is not quite there yet. She is 86, but she is incredible. She is in the USA, at the moment, having gone over to see my uncle and his family, and is having a great time with all the family over there. She is remarkably fit, lives alone, albeit in sheltered housing, does all her own housework and shopping, and has the memory of an elephant. She is still a member of many committees and clubs, and attends the theatre almost every week. That said, I know she worries about a time coming when she can no longer look after herself, and I pray that she will just die peacefully in her sleep one night, without ever having to go into a home. Almost all her friends are younger than her, though, most of her contemporaries having either passed away or ended up in a home. She does get depressed and she herself says she doesn't want to live much longer.

There was a programme on tv recently about the oldest people in the world. These were people into their hundreds. Though they still had the gift of communication , none of them was able to take care of themselves. The oldest one of all (117 if memory serves me right), looked like a living cadaver and was as miserable as sin. Our society constantly extols the virtues of a long life, when surely what we want is a good and healthy one, however long it is. I have enjoyed my life so far and plan to continue to do so for a good few more years yet, but I too pray I don't become really old. Three score years and ten would be enough for me.

But what is the solution? Suicide? A cull? Of course not. We just have to hope and pray that we will be one of the lucky ones and be taken before old age and senility take us over. I feel for you. I really do. As I said, my mother is showing no signs of senility whatever, but the longer she lives, the more I worry; not just for myself and my brother, but for her as well.

\"A beautiful voice is not enough.\" Maria Callas

Offline Holden

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Re: I hope I die before I get old
« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2008, 02:24:04 AM »
Your perspective is flawed - he's not going through this, you and your family are! He's probably very happy with himself and enjoying what he perceives to be his current lifestyle. The question you'd like to ask him (but dare not) - do you want to stop your life now? The answer could be interesting.
Cheers

Holden

Offline Tsaraslondon

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Re: I hope I die before I get old
« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2008, 03:22:10 AM »
Your perspective is flawed - he's not going through this, you and your family are! He's probably very happy with himself and enjoying what he perceives to be his current lifestyle. The question you'd like to ask him (but dare not) - do you want to stop your life now? The answer could be interesting.

I understand your argument, but are you saying you'd be happy for the same thing to happen to you? If he had a choice, would he choose to end his days in this way? Somehow I doubt it.
\"A beautiful voice is not enough.\" Maria Callas

Offline Joe_Campbell

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Re: I hope I die before I get old
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2008, 05:30:28 AM »
He could be as happy as a clam. You just aren't perceiving it this way.

Offline маразм1

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Re: I hope I die before I get old
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2008, 06:08:09 AM »
He could be as happy as a clam. You just aren't perceiving it this way.
well no.  He's depressed.  He doesn't want to do anything.  He is frustrated that he doesn't sometimes know about whom or what we're talking about.  Wouldn't you be?  I can kinda relate.  for example imagine you go "hang out" with an unfamiliar crowd where everybody knows everybody for a long time.  They have all these jokes, and know all the same people, but you have no clue at all.  You'll be just there having nothing to say...clueless. 

Offline (poco) Sforzando

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Re: I hope I die before I get old
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2008, 06:16:02 AM »
well no.  He's depressed.  He doesn't want to do anything.  He is frustrated that he doesn't sometimes know about whom or what we're talking about.  Wouldn't you be?  I can kinda relate.  for example imagine you go "hang out" with an unfamiliar crowd where everybody knows everybody for a long time.  They have all these jokes, and know all the same people, but you have no clue at all.  You'll be just there having nothing to say...clueless. 

That's different. As has been said, forgetting where you put your keys from time to time isn't Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's is when you don't know any more what keys are for.

There's no way of knowing when or how you'll go, but the best thing is to keep yourself in the best physical and mental shape that you can. My parents are in their mid-80s and at worst they are slowing down a bit, but if they outlive me I wouldn't be surprised.
"I don't know what sforzando means, though it clearly means something."

Harry

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Re: I hope I die before I get old
« Reply #7 on: May 04, 2008, 06:42:16 AM »
I sincerely hope that I keep my faculties to the end. I have seen two friends detoriating into oblivion. and that was not a pretty sight, honestly.

Offline knight66

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Re: I hope I die before I get old
« Reply #8 on: May 04, 2008, 07:07:56 AM »
Your perspective is flawed - he's not going through this, you and your family are! He's probably very happy with himself and enjoying what he perceives to be his current lifestyle. The question you'd like to ask him (but dare not) - do you want to stop your life now? The answer could be interesting.
Quite a number of old people who do lose their memories also lose all sense of what is happening to them. It is not necessarily a pleasant semi vegetative state. It can also mean extreme and sustained fear; as the individual recognises no one or have any understanding of what is happening. The least significant thing can cause utter terror.

No doubt, it is a different experience for each person who goes through it. I also feel I want life as against mere existence, but how to achieve it...there's the nub.

Mike
« Last Edit: May 05, 2008, 02:31:36 AM by knight »
DavidW: Yeah Mike doesn't get angry, he gets even.
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Offline DavidRoss

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Re: I hope I die before I get old
« Reply #9 on: May 04, 2008, 07:12:30 AM »
"Hope I die before I get old" --Pete Townsend.

Getting old is a state of mind.  Some get there long before their time.

Alzheimer's -- or the constellation of symptoms conveniently classed as "Alzheimer's" -- is not a necessary consequence of aging.  Just as having one's head stuck up his ass is not a necessary consequence of youth.
"Maybe the problem most of you have ... is that you're not listening to Barbirolli." ~Sarge

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