Worst movies ever

[Bonehelm]

What movies piss you off (especially if you paid 10 bucks to go see it in the cinema)?

-Lady in the water (more like lady in the toilet, weird ass plot, no suspense or tension in a "psychological thriller")
-Collateral (what the hell? I just don't get this movie, and it's so boring it's painful. Tom cruise at his absolute worst.)
-Stay alive (more like stay awake. The "ghosts" are perhaps drawn by elementary school kids at their art class using Crayola pencils.)
-Pink Panther (Do I need to say anything? prime example of how crude humour can sometimes fail miserably.)
-Matrix trilogy (I know some people will shoot me for saying this. But come on, the dialogue is so goddamn random I sometimes wonder if the Wachowski brothers just paid a bunch of ADD syndrome actors and make them improvise their lines and shot the footage, use the computer to draw some Agent Smiths, put them all together, all call it their masterpiece.)

Yours?

[Norbeone]

Most films these days are bad, but one that really springs to mind is Smoking Aces. Luckily, since I knew it would be crap, the overwhelming-ness of its craposity didn't hit too hard. Incidentally, I was forced to watch it.   

[DavidRoss]

The Pink Panther?  I trust you mean the abysmal remake with Steve Martin...?

Memorably awful movies in recent years:  The Blair Witch Project, The Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation, none of which I expected to be crap.

[Kullervo]

These movies made me want to lobotomize myself with a grapefruit spoon.

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003)
Dungeons and Dragons (2000)
Tron (1982)
Kazaam (1996)
Alien Resurrection (1997)
Battlefield Earth (2000)
Donnie Darko (2001)
Requiem for a Dream (2000)

[12tone.]

 

I still remember the 'Everybody dance now' advertisments!

[Brian]

-Pink Panther (Do I need to say anything? prime example of how crude humour can sometimes fail miserably.)

You HAVE to mean the new one; the old movies were classics.

Other than that, Mulholland Drive and Lost in Translation spring to mind quickly. @Corey: Donnie Darko I thought was not a good movie in the conventional sense, and the plot was full of holes and errors, but at least the impressionism, control of mood, and general craftsmanship of the whole thing was pretty good.

[BachQ]

AI

[Kullervo]

I just thought it was pretentious in the extreme... like Lost in Translation!

[Keemun]

Crash - I've never seen a more pretentious and pointless movie.  I'm sure there are others I cannot think of right now.

[hornteacher]

The Doors - the only movie I've ever seen in which I wanted the lead character to die.

[david johnson]

excellent thread!  i nominate the 'billy jack' movies.  a friend has all 4 of them...that includes the one that never made it to the big screen.

'contact', based on the carl sagan book.
'phenomenon' with john revolta...especially the last several minutes.
of course...'plan 9 from outer space', horrible and great fun.
'yor, hunter from the future'.
'the beast of yucca flats' is pretty bad.
uwe boll productions.
the 'war of the worlds' (timothy hines effort) that came out from england the same year the tom crude version played.  man, it's rank.  i dare anyone to sit through it!  gag a maggot!

dj

[Kullervo]

the 'war of the worlds' (timothy hines effort) that came out from england the same year the tom crude version played.  man, it's rank.  i dare anyone to sit through it!  gag a maggot!

That one doesn't count as it's an Asylum release. They are famous for making rip-off versions of movies just released in the theater and trick morons into renting them, thinking they're the real thing. You don't know how many times I've had to explain to idiot customers that Transmorphers is not Transformers. 

More info here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Asylum

[Lethevich]

The Entity
Alien vs. Predator
The Grudge (OMG MORE "SPOOKY" CHILDREN TYVM FOR AFFIRMING THE CREATIVITY OF THE HORROR GENRE, JAPAN)
Battlefield Earth
The Postman (like Waterworld without the action)
Basic Instinct
Speed 2
The Wicker Man remake
Final Fantasy
Fortress
Highlander 2

...and about a million others I have suppressed the memory of watching... (I used to watch all manner of stuff during the small hours when I had insomnia, and prior to having the net.)

I haven't seen them but I can only imagine how shit Spice World and Glitter were.

[Lethevich]

'contact', based on the carl sagan book.

Is that the aliens-communicate-with-us film that lasted about 3 hours and had a horrible cop-out ending? That was a spectacular waste of time.

[hornteacher]

'contact', based on the carl sagan book.

Really?  I rather enjoyed that one.  To each his own though.

[Keemun]

I just thought of some more:  Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and Rocky V

[SonicMan46]

Boy, interesting & potentially a contentious thread - agree that many of the films so far listed were 'stinkos' but of course some were likely enjoyed by many, e.g. I loved (and own) the first Matrix film, and the Seller Panther films are certainly entertaining! 

But for this thread, also consider that there are absolutely 'teriible' movies that for a specific reason may be enjoyable to the viewer and/or owner - e.g. Sheena (1984) w/ Tanya Roberts is a bad film, but Tanya (an even poorer actress!) is just scrumptious in this movie - a little 'soft porn' - she was just alluring - this production was rated a BOMB in both Videohound & Maltin's movie guides, but HEY I just love to watch Tanya in this role - just me, I guess! 

 

[cx]

Crash - I've never seen a more pretentious and pointless movie.  I'm sure there are others I cannot think of right now.

I agree about the 2004 Crash and never understood its popularity. The Cronenberg 1996 Crash I actually enjoyed (though I never read the book). Some recent movies that I really did not like: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Stranger Than Fiction, and can't think of many others ATM. I avoid movies that I expect to be crap, like some mentioned already: Kazaam, The Pink Panther (remake), Speed 2, Alien vs. Predator, ...

Boy, interesting & potentially a contentious thread - agree that many of the films so far listed were 'stinkos' but of course some were likely enjoyed by many, e.g. I loved (and own) the first Matrix film, and the Seller Panther films are certainly entertaining! 

But for this thread, also consider that there are absolutely 'teriible' movies that for a specific reason may be enjoyable to the viewer and/or owner - e.g. Sheena (1984) w/ Tanya Roberts is a bad film, but Tanya (an even poorer actress!) is just scrumptious in this movie - a little 'soft porn' - she was just alluring - this production was rated a BOMB in both Videohound & Maltin's movie guides, but HEY I just love to watch Tanya in this role - just me, I guess! 

Good point -- I enjoy many movies that contain appealing elements (certain actors or models, camp-value, visual style (think Burton?) etc.) that I would otherwise consider bad movies. I also think the Matrix was a good action movie. The following films were pretty poor though.

[Bonehelm]

Sorry for being misleading: yes I mean the new remake of the Pink Panthers. I haven't seen the old one, perhaps I will sometime, but the one I saw is really going to at least ruin my experience a little.

[71 dB]

Really?  I rather enjoyed that one.  To each his own though.

Yeah, to each his own. I like Contact too, I even have it on DVD. Out of the movies mentioned here A.I. and Mulholland Drive are among my absolute favorite movies! Also, I think that Collateral is very good (Michael Mann's use of digital camera in the night gives stunning visual style for the movie) I like Asian horror movies so I like The Grudge too (originals and remakes). Lady in the Water is perhaps Shyamalan's weakest effort but I enjoyed it. I can understand why narrow-minded people don't like it.

I suppose everybody agrees Steve Martin's Pink Panther is abysmal.

My "official" worst movie is Cutaway