So, I've been testing out this online dating website thing for a few days... I have a profile on match and pof (plentyoffish)...
I've read the statistics about how many messages a guy needs to send before he can expect a response. Typically, it's 20. So, I have to find 20 women to send messages to that meet my criteria. And here's why finding 20 is extremely hard:
1. My 30-minute driving radius doesn't exactly consist of a ton of young people.
2. Being a single mom makes you ineligible for me. I don't have a kid or want kids, let alone someone else's kid. So this alone knocks out about half of the candidates.
3. Various random things which knock off 20-30 percent of candidates. Another difficulty is that it is often hard to send any sort of interesting or meaningful personalized message when their profile is so generic. I try, though.
I've gotten plenty of profile views from attractive women, but they are rarely ever going to send the first message. I saw an experiment somewhere in which basically, the most attractive men received under 10% the amount of mail in their inbox than the most attractive women did. Also, the fact that I don't make $100k+ is bad for me, since guys that do get receive 42% more messages than guys that don't.
My idea:
going to another popular free dating site and increasing my chances of getting messages back.
I'll create a really odd profile where I make up some story about being abducted by alien women that are trying to marry me and I created the profile because they are forcing me to broadcast the fact that I'm not available... or something. Working on it, at least... Anyone with suggestions would be very much appreciated.
What's the point in doing any of this at all, Greg? Seems like a waste of time to me unless you genuinely want to find someone. That, of course, would be a different story.
Quote from: Mirror Image on May 10, 2014, 08:03:56 PM
What's the point in doing any of this at all, Greg? Seems like a waste of time to me unless you genuinely want to find someone. That, of course, would be a different story.
So what are your suggestions?
Quote from: Greg on May 10, 2014, 08:38:34 PM
So what are your suggestions?
My suggestion would be to figure out what you truly want.
Quote from: Mirror Image on May 10, 2014, 08:41:28 PM
My suggestion would be to figure out what you truly want.
Basically, a girl in the age range of 20-30 (I'm 26) to date. Nothing serious, at least for now. They need to at least be somewhat attractive and be somewhere in the realm of being able to relate to me, and also not live over a half an hour away. But that's probably asking too much.
I mean, my profile picture isn't terrible, is it? Basically just a headshot, like everyone else does:
http://pictures.match.com/pictures/19/23/165031923Z.jpeg
Quote from: Greg on May 10, 2014, 08:58:26 PM
Basically, a girl in the age range of 20-30 (I'm 26) to date. Nothing serious, at least for now. They need to at least be somewhat attractive and be somewhere in the realm of being able to relate to me, and also not live over a half an hour away. But that's probably asking too much.
Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for. I've had several women I'm interested in, but this is from a purely physical standpoint. I would like to find a woman who is reasonably attractive, but stimulates me intellectually. This is the tough part, but I remain optimistic.
Quote from: Mirror Image on May 10, 2014, 09:02:45 PM
Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for. I've had several women I'm interested in, but this is from a purely physical standpoint. I would like to find a woman who is reasonably attractive, but stimulates me intellectually. This is the tough part, but I remain optimistic.
So we are both looking for the same thing. However, you know we may be looking forever and get old and never find them?
Quote from: Greg on May 10, 2014, 09:04:32 PM
So we are both looking for the same thing. However, you know we may be looking forever and get old and never find them?
Well, sure. I mean we could never find it and remain single for the rest of our lives. I'm just trying to avoid the whole dating thing as this seems like a colossal waste of time and energy. I've constantly been told when I find 'the woman of my dreams' and she feels the same way, then the dating thing won't seem like a chore at all. It's all about finding that connection. This is what I'm continuously looking for, but have failed so far. But, I suppose, sometimes a challenge like getting to know someone of limited interest can also open a door that you, otherwise, wouldn't have bothered looking into.
Quote from: Greg on May 10, 2014, 07:51:56 PM
I've read the statistics about how many messages a guy needs to send before he can expect a response. Typically, it's 20.
Send the first 19 to anybody. You only need the 20th to be eligible.
Send all 20 messages to the same girl. That will convince her you are a committed partner and increase her respect for you.
Quote from: Greg on May 10, 2014, 09:01:49 PM
I mean, my profile picture isn't terrible, is it? Basically just a headshot, like everyone else does:
http://pictures.match.com/pictures/19/23/165031923Z.jpeg
Style your beard a little more, or colour your hair. I haven't done myself, but girls like that.
Also Greg, and this is a huge advice, wait at least a week or something with masturbating before you take a picture of yourself. ;) 8) :laugh: ;)
Quote from: Greg on May 10, 2014, 09:01:49 PM
I mean, my profile picture isn't terrible, is it? Basically just a headshot, like everyone else does:
http://pictures.match.com/pictures/19/23/165031923Z.jpeg
I'm just an old fogey, and completely unfamiliar with this online dating thing but how about smiling? A pleasant friendly smile goes a long way.
Another advice. Let someone else take a picture of you. A girlfriend or so. :) ;)
Quote from: Henk on May 11, 2014, 04:42:53 AM
Another advice. Let someone else take a picture of you. A girlfriend or so. :) ;)
I wouldn't ask a girlfriend to take picture for a dating site, just saying.. 8)
Quote from: NJ Joe on May 11, 2014, 04:26:44 AM
I'm just an old fogey, and completely unfamiliar with this online dating thing but how about smiling? A pleasant friendly smile goes a long way.
That was a smile! ??? Not a big smile, but still a smile...
Quote from: amw on May 10, 2014, 10:52:04 PM
Send all 20 messages to the same girl. That will convince her you are a committed partner and increase her respect for you.
;D
Quote from: Mirror Image on May 10, 2014, 09:10:20 PM
I'm just trying to avoid the whole dating thing as this seems like a colossal waste of time and energy.
And money...
Quote from: Mirror Image on May 10, 2014, 09:10:20 PM
I've constantly been told when I find 'the woman of my dreams' and she feels the same way, then the dating thing won't seem like a chore at all. It's all about finding that connection. This is what I'm continuously looking for, but have failed so far. But, I suppose, sometimes a challenge like getting to know someone of limited interest can also open a door that you, otherwise, wouldn't have bothered looking into.
Really, the best type is the one who has went to school and hasn't had a kid yet (and those go hand in hand, since often having a kid can prevent anyone from being able to go to school); going to school meaning more likely to be more intellectually interesting.
I bet you don't live in the best area for being surrounded with women like that, either. Moving to a more highly populated and better educated environment would probably help a lot.
Quote from: Greg on May 11, 2014, 06:55:32 AMReally, the best type is the one who has went to school and hasn't had a kid yet (and those go hand in hand, since often having a kid can prevent anyone from being able to go to school); going to school meaning more likely to be more intellectually interesting.
I bet you don't live in the best area for being surrounded with women like that, either. Moving to a more highly populated and better educated environment would probably help a lot.
Well, I live in a college town, so I don't think there's a problem finding someone who's educated, although this doesn't mark intelligence to me. Someone could be a high intellectual without having stepped a foot on a college campus. Anyway, I've found that women aren't going to come to you, you've got to go out and find them, but if a woman catches my eye, I'll usually approach her and try to start a conversation. I can usually tell about the first ten minutes or so that they're not interested (some women will just talk to you to be nice) or simply aren't going to be right for me because there seems to be a mental disconnection. Anyway, if I'm attracted physically and intellectually to a woman, then I'm going to pursue her, but most of the time it seems that I'm just physically attracted to them and can't ever find one that I can connect with on a deeper level.
Quote from: Greg on May 10, 2014, 09:01:49 PM
I mean, my profile picture isn't terrible, is it? Basically just a headshot, like everyone else does:
http://pictures.match.com/pictures/19/23/165031923Z.jpeg
Honestly that pic is not that good. You look depressed. If you're not happy enough to fake it, then don't but you need to look self-assured and kind. And the picture should look like you put effort into it, a low quality pic snapped with a phone in five seconds says that you don't really want to try. I suggest that you have a friend take a photo for you. There are basically two approaches: you can either be naturally sexy, or you can look like someone that will be fun to hangout with. If you can't pull off either it will be an uphill battle.
Don't worry about that 20 message thing, when I used match.com awhile back I heard back from all but one. It shouldn't be that difficult as long as you have the right attitude.
Quote from: DavidW on May 11, 2014, 07:36:11 AM
Honestly that pic is not that good. You look depressed. If you're not happy enough to fake it, then don't but you need to look self-assured and kind.
Hm, well, if that's the vibe other people get, then that's very helpful pointing that out, thanks.
It's just a crop from a family photo we took at home.
Quote from: DavidW on May 11, 2014, 07:36:11 AM
Don't worry about that 20 message thing, when I used match.com awhile back I heard back from all but one. It shouldn't be that difficult as long as you have the right attitude.
When sending a message, did you just write a short message commenting on something in their profile? And what did you write for the subject line? I suspect the messages I send out may be identical to the dozens of other messages they get from other guys.
More than a decade ago, I can't remember sorry!
Quote from: Greg on May 11, 2014, 08:05:19 AM
When sending a message, did you just write a short message commenting on something in their profile? And what did you write for the subject line? I suspect the messages I send out may be identical to the dozens of other messages they get from other guys.
I wouldn't send a woman some cookie-cutter message that looks like it's been manufactured. I would send them a message that reveals a bit of your humor and that is unconventional, because, from what I gather, you're a pretty strange guy, so why not send something a bit out of the norm? ;D If she responds with a nice reply, then you know that you can be yourself and she's pretty open-minded. Of course, most of all, she wants to get to know you.
BTW, Dave, is right about your picture. It's not good. It isn't very flattering. A picture of you smiling and being at leisure is the way for you go. So, first things first, delete that photo and put a better one up!
Quote from: Mirror Image on May 12, 2014, 12:01:09 PM
I wouldn't send a woman some cookie-cutter message that looks like it's been manufactured. I would send them a message that reveals a bit of your humor and that is unconventional, because, from what I gather, you're a pretty strange guy, so why not send something a bit out of the norm? ;D If she responds with a nice reply, then you know that you can be yourself and she's pretty open-minded. Of course, most of all, she wants to get to know you.
BTW, Dave, is right about your picture. It's not good. It isn't very flattering. A picture of you smiling and being at leisure is the way for you go. So, first things first, delete that photo and put a better one up!
Cool, will definitely try both, thanks.
Quote from: Greg on May 12, 2014, 08:00:24 PM
Cool, will definitely try both, thanks.
No problem my friend.
Quote from: Greg on May 10, 2014, 09:01:49 PM
I mean, my profile picture isn't terrible, is it? Basically just a headshot, like everyone else does:
http://pictures.match.com/pictures/19/23/165031923Z.jpeg
In my opinion, it's not a good picture--I don't mean you, I mean the picture. Putting a little thought into it shows consideration, IMO, like showering and combing your hair and putting on nicer-er clothes when you meet a girl for a date. This looks kind of like a selfie with a cheap phone. If you have a friend with a non-phone camera, ask if they would help you take some pics. Do 20 or 30 (not a photo shoot, just "click, click, click", Ok, try standing here, "click, Click, click" and you shift a bit, maybe move to a couple of different angles) and pick the one that looks the best.
Just a suggestion.
Hmmm....
(http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8gtk63Aex1ramjwoo1_500.jpg)
Quote from: Baklavaboy on May 14, 2014, 09:48:27 PM
In my opinion, it's not a good picture--I don't mean you, I mean the picture. Putting a little thought into it shows consideration, IMO, like showering and combing your hair and putting on nicer-er clothes when you meet a girl for a date. This looks kind of like a selfie with a cheap phone. If you have a friend with a non-phone camera, ask if they would help you take some pics. Do 20 or 30 (not a photo shoot, just "click, click, click", Ok, try standing here, "click, Click, click" and you shift a bit, maybe move to a couple of different angles) and pick the one that looks the best.
Just a suggestion.
That picture was taken with a non-phone camera; it looks grainier because I cropped it and so it got resized. The original looks fine, though. Good catch, didn't even think about that. I do have that camera somewhere in the house...
Might actually be trying to get to know a girl at work better if I get lucky enough to see her on a regular basis...
I heard her talking to someone, mentioning that she's currently concerned with finishing school rather than having kids and currently has no boyfriend. Also, I like the fact that she's the first female loader in the 6 years I've been there. ;D
First girl I've worked with in years that I would consider... more likely I won't end up seeing her enough to get to know her better, but unlikely things sometimes happen. :P
Quote from: Greg on May 19, 2014, 06:53:26 PM
Might actually be trying to get to know a girl at work better if I get lucky enough to see her on a regular basis...
I heard her talking to someone, mentioning that she's currently concerned with finishing school rather than having kids and currently has no boyfriend. Also, I like the fact that she's the first female loader in the 6 years I've been there. ;D
First girl I've worked with in years that I would consider... more likely I won't end up seeing her enough to get to know her better, but unlikely things sometimes happen. :P
Good to hear, Greg. Now ask her out for some coffee or dinner.
Oh and is this woman good looking? This also helps IMHO. ;D
Quote from: Greg on May 19, 2014, 06:53:26 PM
Might actually be trying to get to know a girl at work better if I get lucky enough to see her on a regular basis...
I heard her talking to someone, mentioning that she's currently concerned with finishing school rather than having kids and currently has no boyfriend. Also, I like the fact that she's the first female loader in the 6 years I've been there. ;D
First girl I've worked with in years that I would consider... more likely I won't end up seeing her enough to get to know her better, but unlikely things sometimes happen. :P
Why not ask her out in order to get to know her better? It doesn't have to be serious even - a coworker getting to know a coworker (at lunch, a break, whatever).
On the picture thing, my thought would be try to take it with some sort of interest in the background. For example - if you hike, do rockclimbing, movie enthusiast (or anime), etc. This can be an additional talking point either in your initial contact or in the future. Someone who has the same interest might also be more apt to respond. May not be so simple and may require a little thinking on how to get it in the picture, but could be a real plus. On the other hand, you don't want to scare people off.
By the way - I would not focus on the physical looks too much. Most women are attractive, and I'd say that all of them with a good personality are. Somone with a lousy personality will be ugly no matter how much she may be interesting physically.
Quote from: Mirror Image on May 19, 2014, 06:58:38 PM
Oh and is this woman good looking? This also helps IMHO. ;D
Of course, IMO. And a bit younger than me (20 years old). I could never be interested in someone I found unattractive; in that case they'd just be friends at the most.
Quote from: Mirror Image on May 19, 2014, 06:58:38 PM
Oh and is this woman good looking? This also helps IMHO. ;D
I will eventually; best bet is to hope she stays a loader for a while (and during the evening), though that is iffy with her hand currently messed up and unable to lift stuff. If she goes to cashiering completely, then it's just a matter of luck with scheduling, since some cashiers I almost never see at all. One lady that works in customer service jokes that she sees me twice a year because we never work during the same times.
Quote from: mc ukrneal on May 20, 2014, 05:52:45 AM
By the way - I would not focus on the physical looks too much. Most women are attractive, and I'd say that all of them with a good personality are. Somone with a lousy personality will be ugly no matter how much she may be interesting physically.
Totally true.
Until this:
Quote from: Greg on May 20, 2014, 08:13:17 AM
Of course, IMO. And a bit younger than me (20 years old). I could never be interested in someone I found unattractive; in that case they'd just be friends at the most.
changes to this:
Quote from: mc ukrneal on May 20, 2014, 05:52:45 AM
By the way - I would not focus on the physical looks too much. Most women are attractive, and I'd say that all of them with a good personality are. Somone with a lousy personality will be ugly no matter how much she may be interesting physically.
... you will probably remain lonely.
Quote from: Szykneij on May 20, 2014, 11:10:21 AM
Until this:
changes to this:
... you will probably remain lonely.
What are talking about? I should date someone that I'm not attracted to? ???
Quote from: Greg on May 20, 2014, 11:14:22 AM
What are talking about? I should date someone that I'm not attracted to? ???
As mc pointed out, the perception of someone's beauty can change drastically under different circumstances. Someone you find physically attractive can suddenly look ugly if they're not a good person. Someone else who initially didn't catch your eye can all of a sudden look like the cutest thing you've ever seen once you get to know them.
So, yes, you should date someone you're not
physically attracted to. You might be surprised by the result.
Quote from: Szykneij on May 20, 2014, 11:28:31 AM
As mc pointed out, the perception of someone's beauty can change drastically under different circumstances. Someone you find physically attractive can suddenly look ugly if they're not a good person. Someone else who initially didn't catch your eye can all of a sudden look like the cutest thing you've ever seen once you get to know them.
So, yes, you should date someone you're not physically attracted to. You might be surprised by the result.
Well, I have known girls that aren't very attractive (though not ugly) and knowing them (liking their personality very much and having common interests) have made them slightly attractive for me. But I never would actually go home and think about them ever. I might feel something slightly when I'm around them and talking about a subject we are both interested in, but that's the full extent of it.
While on the subject... that hot Polish girl I used to work with (who was also very nice), well... maybe nice and good are different things, since she ended up selling stolen stuff
again. :-X And has a burglary charge against her this time. My best guess is for drug money, since it usually is...
Guys, Greg needs all the help he can get. Realize this and provide him with more advices!! ;)
Quote from: Henk on May 26, 2014, 02:11:59 AM
Guys, Greg needs all the help he can get. Realize this and provide him with more advices!! ;)
It's okay, Henk. I think I've gotten some good suggestions.
Mainly there are just not enough young people in my area. In the city, there are tons of women my age range.
Quote from: Philo on May 26, 2014, 06:28:00 AM
This thread in image form:
Okay, I get it, you like to troll. It gets might be funny at first but it gets old.
If you think I ever feel lonely, you're completely mistaken. I think having a girlfriend would be nice, and definitely worth a try, but I love being alone. Perhaps too much.
I would like to see a picture of you and your girlfriend(s).
Quote from: Greg on May 19, 2014, 06:53:26 PM
Might actually be trying to get to know a girl at work better if I get lucky enough to see her on a regular basis...
Like a creep, I went ahead and searched her fb page out of curiosity, and found out she entered a new relationship a little over a week ago. That's almost the exact timing of when I finally was able to spend a bit of time in conversation with her. ;D
I'm getting the vibe that we have nothing in common (for one, she's a party girl), but I realized that most of the couples I've ever known have little or nothing in common, yet they find a way to make it work, so maybe it's not the most important thing.
Not sure if I already mentioned it, but I deleted both of my profiles from pf and match.com. Pretty worthless in an area like mine with few people that aren't retirement age, but if you live in the city, I'd have to say, it looks very promising. When I move one day, I might try again.
Greg's (Personal) Experiment = EPIC FAIL ;D
(http://alignmentformen.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/clint.png)
Quote from: Mirror Image on July 17, 2014, 07:10:19 PM
Greg's (Personal) Experiment = EPIC FAIL ;D
Basically.
(though I expected this).
Still a mystery to me how people are able to form relationships when most people are busy 50+ hours a week; really, how does that happen? I hear about busy men that work 80 hours a week and have no time for their wives, but how did they even find time to build a relationship with them in the first place? Regardless, if I'm busy 60+ hours a week, that would be the cutoff line and I absolutely wouldn't want to be in a relationship at that point.
I noticed that I started this topic when it was the beginning of May and wasn't overloaded with work. From now to the end of the year, it'll be easily a 60 hour a week struggle... it's at the point to where I feel guilty for spending 2 hours with a friend yesterday and 3 hours with another friend today on my days off. That's 5 hours I could have used for homework! And typing this is a few minutes I could have used for homework! I can't even get a haircut or go to the gym I'm so busy... :-X
Quote from: Greg on July 17, 2014, 07:51:52 PM
Basically.
(though I expected this).
Still a mystery to me how people are able to form relationships when most people are busy 50+ hours a week; really, how does that happen? I hear about busy men that work 80 hours a week and have no time for their wives, but how did they even find time to build a relationship with them in the first place? Regardless, if I'm busy 60+ hours a week, that would be the cutoff line and I absolutely wouldn't want to be in a relationship at that point.
I noticed that I started this topic when it was the beginning of May and wasn't overloaded with work. From now to the end of the year, it'll be easily a 60 hour a week struggle... it's at the point to where I feel guilty for spending 2 hours with a friend yesterday and 3 hours with another friend today on my days off. That's 5 hours I could have used for homework! And typing this is a few minutes I could have used for homework! I can't even get a haircut or go to the gym I'm so busy... :-X
There has to be some kind of cut made somewhere in order to have a relationship. Something has to give at some point. There's simply no other way.
Quote from: Mirror Image on July 17, 2014, 08:13:50 PM
There has to be some kind of cut made somewhere in order to have a relationship. Something has to give at some point. There's simply no other way.
Must be a contradiction to the fundamental laws of the universe then.
Greg, in my experience, relationships happen when you least expect them to--just about the time you've given up on them. And never when I'm actually trying to find one! :o
The best advice I can give you is simply to be friendly.
When I was a freshman in college, I made the decision that I was no longer going to be shy. It seemed to work for me! Looking back, I can see I did two things: I taught myself how to speak the first words, the ones that break the ice. And they don't always have to be "Hi, how are you?" I also taught myself how to listen--not just wait for my chance to speak, but actually to hear and be interested in what the other person is saying. Sometimes that even gives me conversation openings. Example: Someone may say something about a political figure I'm interested in. Then I can say, "Oh, I heard his speech the other day! Wasn't it good?" Or something like that.
Through this, I've learned that many folks are desperately hungry for simple conversation. Not conversation aimed at "establishing a relationship" or "evangelizing" or necessarily aimed at anything at all--just good, natural talk.
In other words: The other folks, including many cute girls, are just as nervous as you are, and just as thankful to have someone actually pay attention to them.
But--and this is important--keep it light at first! Don't try to work up to asking her for a date, don't even give the impression you "really really like" her. Give the friendship time to build. Time enough for the heavy stuff after you've naturally become friends.
Quote from: jochanaan on July 19, 2014, 06:41:39 PM
Greg, in my experience, relationships happen when you least expect them to--just about the time you've given up on them. And never when I'm actually trying to find one! :o
I've many people say this. Must be nice. That experiment was the first time I tried anything in years after giving up.
I think that this is more like a second step; if you aren't in the right environment to begin with, it really doesn't matter whether you try or not.
Quote from: jochanaan on July 19, 2014, 06:41:39 PM
The best advice I can give you is simply to be friendly.
When I was a freshman in college, I made the decision that I was no longer going to be shy. It seemed to work for me! Looking back, I can see I did two things: I taught myself how to speak the first words, the ones that break the ice. And they don't always have to be "Hi, how are you?" I also taught myself how to listen--not just wait for my chance to speak, but actually to hear and be interested in what the other person is saying. Sometimes that even gives me conversation openings. Example: Someone may say something about a political figure I'm interested in. Then I can say, "Oh, I heard his speech the other day! Wasn't it good?" Or something like that.
Through this, I've learned that many folks are desperately hungry for simple conversation. Not conversation aimed at "establishing a relationship" or "evangelizing" or necessarily aimed at anything at all--just good, natural talk.
In other words: The other folks, including many cute girls, are just as nervous as you are, and just as thankful to have someone actually pay attention to them.
But--and this is important--keep it light at first! Don't try to work up to asking her for a date, don't even give the impression you "really really like" her. Give the friendship time to build. Time enough for the heavy stuff after you've naturally become friends.
That's ideal, and what I try to do, or what I'd try to do if I knew anyone.
btw, haven't seen you post in a while. Either I've been missing your posts or you've been gone a while; good to see you posting again.
Greg, it sounds like you need to get out more. Go to some concerts; check out your local coffeeshop or organic-food cafe or art gallery--you find some very interesting folks there. :)
Jochanaan has offered some excellent advice here, Greg, about the art of conversation. I've only just seen this thread and I'm about to celebrate my 40th wedding anniversary so some advice for you.
Firstly, internet dating sites are fraught with danger; love-rats (as they are now known) are everywhere on them and hardly onebody tells the truth. There are myriad stories of people being ripped off and losing their cash, not to mention their self-respect. I would avoid these sites absolutely.
Secondly, people are interested in YOU when YOU ARE INTERESTED IN THEM. In short, reciprocity is key. Too much narcissism these days and the genuinely nice people are tired of 'narcs' and looking for real people! My daughter is 31, attractive, intelligent (Communications degree) and hasn't been in a decent relationship for some years now. There are many more women in our major capital city than men, but I think she made some poor choices earlier and this has affected her ability to attract somebody really nice; besides, most of the fellows in her age group are already partnered.
No good saying "I don't want a kid" (and the language right there - it's cold, Greg!). Lots of women DO have children from previous relationships, so that leads me to Point 3: don't be too choosey; keep an open mind and you might be terribly surprised that a wonderful person may NOT actually tick all the boxes at first. I mean, it's not like choosing breakfast cereal off a shelf in the supermarket. My husband wasn't my ideal or 'type' when we met, but his sheer warmth, sensitivity and sincerity gradually eroded my 'list'!!
Get involved with people face to face; if I was a young person I'd join a music group, bush-walking, bike-riding or other pursuit where I'd find like-minded people and from there just take it easy and develop FRIENDSHIP first. Bike-riding in groups is hugely popular these days and, besides, it's good and healthy being in the outdoors with other people.
Good luck!
These suggestions are good and I appreciate them, but I don't have the time to do all this stuff right now. I'll keep them in mind for whenever I do, though...
Quote from: Phrygian on July 20, 2014, 03:27:57 PM
No good saying "I don't want a kid" (and the language right there - it's cold, Greg!). Lots of women DO have children from previous relationships, so that leads me to Point 3: don't be too choosey; keep an open mind and you might be terribly surprised that a wonderful person may NOT actually tick all the boxes at first.
That's kind of a sad thought, though. I don't have kids nor want them, yet should expect someone else to have them? It just isn't equal. I guess only if it were someone special enough, it wouldn't matter.
Quote from: Phrygian on July 20, 2014, 03:27:57 PM
Firstly, internet dating sites are fraught with danger; love-rats (as they are now known) are everywhere on them and hardly onebody tells the truth. There are myriad stories of people being ripped off and losing their cash, not to mention their self-respect. I would avoid these sites absolutely.
I've heard about this...
OK Greg, I understand what you're saying about children. My daughter has always said the same thing and it's become a self-fulfilling prophesy!!
And I understand time-poor people and this is, in part, a reason for the proliferation of dating sites. The other part of the equation is the breakdown of community and society generally; we tend to live behind our front doors and people just don't seem to become involved these days - for whatever reason. I'm also guilty of this; when many people my own age do volunteering my husband and I stay at home and pursue our own interests or travel. We don't think "community" at all and I do think we miss out on a lot because of our attitudes.
You'll meet somebody nice in the future and I hope she loves great music!! :)
Quote from: Phrygian on July 20, 2014, 06:44:48 PM
You'll meet somebody nice in the future and I hope she loves great music!! :)
Thanks. The point about community is a good one, and there are pretty simple reasons why places don't seem to have much of a community, or they are formed in a different sort of way.
Quote from: Greg on July 20, 2014, 06:02:31 PM
...That's kind of a sad thought, though. I don't have kids nor want them, yet should expect someone else to have them? It just isn't equal...
Neither Phrygian nor I are saying anything about "expectations;" we're just reminding you of reality. Unless you limit yourself to early-teenaged women, it's very likely any woman you become friends with will already have children. But speaking as one whose ex-wife and later fiancee both had children, that's not so bad! You get a "package deal"--and boy, you'd better be ready to accept the whole package, because you are NOT going to come between any woman and her children! >:D Still, if it comes to that, she'll appreciate having another adult to help out. But, as I said earlier, there's time enough for that kind of thing after you become friends.
The older I get, the less interested I am in what a person looks like on the outside. What's more important is the kind of soul-connection that builds between friends or more-than-friends.
I don't want any discussion on previous content in this thread, but I just have to point out something wonderful and this is the only place to do it.
I'm so glad I didn't ask that girl out or flirt or anything. I found out the guy she started dating (starting slightly before I got the chance to talk to her regularly) is someone we work with. All three of us joke around and play like kids. If I didn't know she was dating him, I could have potentially made it really awkward and messed that up. I like people you can throw stuff at and say messed up stuff (and have them do the same to you)- all good fun.
So thanks to Facebook for the information and thanks to myself for not being rash.
Oh, that makes me realize that taking no action is what I should have done throughout my whole life. It would have prevented much awkwardness and in some cases it ends MUCH more favorably than it ever could have if I did take action.
Well, I might possibly have a date in the next few weeks, which would be better than experimenting on some dating site. :P The girl I was thinking about had a short-lived relationship and broke up with him a week ago. She said she's busy for about two weeks but will be glad to hang out after that (same here, behind with school atm). Later she asked me for my phone number. The only thing is that some of her guy friends are also interested in the fact that she is recently broken up; she says most of her friends are guys- she prefers being around guys because they "are more direct" and girls "overthink things and can be manipulative." Interesting... maybe it's actually a good thing most of my friends are guys, then. >:D
Quote from: Greg on August 29, 2014, 06:59:22 PM
Well, I might possibly have a date in the next few weeks, which would be better than experimenting on some dating site. :P The girl I was thinking about had a short-lived relationship and broke up with him a week ago. She said she's busy for about two weeks but will be glad to hang out after that (same here, behind with school atm). Later she asked me for my phone number. The only thing is that some of her guy friends are also interested in the fact that she is recently broken up; she says most of her friends are guys- she prefers being around guys because they "are more direct" and girls "overthink things and can be manipulative." Interesting... maybe it's actually a good thing most of my friends are guys, then. >:D
To me, a woman who hangs around a lot of guys means that she likes a lot of attention and demands that attention. Okay, so she gave you her number, but there's a bunch of other guys who are chomping at the bit to go out with her? Sounds like you've got a lot of competition. Either that or she's simply going to play you like a fiddle. I would tread very carefully here but if you're looking for another friend, then that's cool just don't get your hopes up. I don't mean to be negative about this, but I'm just saying that more chances than not, you're heading into a friend zone.
But, then again, I've been wrong many times and I hope this is the case here. Anyway, just giving this situation a dosage of reality. :) Good luck!
Since this is a thread that seems to be aimed at 'finding love,' I just want to say that I've had my eye on this woman for quite some time and we've spoken many times. Hopefully, we can get some coffee as she said she would like to go out with me. Anyway, I'm just going to go slow and play it by ear. I think this woman and I have some things in common.
Well, good luck to both Greg and John. And remember, there are worse things than getting a no, so don't be over-shy.
Quote from: Mirror Image on August 29, 2014, 07:23:19 PM
To me, a woman who hangs around a lot of guys means that she likes a lot of attention and demands that attention. Okay, so she gave you her number, but there's a bunch of other guys who are chomping at the bit to go out with her? Sounds like you've got a lot of competition. Either that or she's simply going to play you like a fiddle. I would tread very carefully here but if you're looking for another friend, then that's cool just don't get your hopes up. I don't mean to be negative about this, but I'm just saying that more chances than not, you're heading into a friend zone.
But, then again, I've been wrong many times and I hope this is the case here. Anyway, just giving this situation a dosage of reality. :) Good luck!
I don't mind another friend if just that. Would just mean more free time if it's nothing serious.
But yeah, given that it's my first real chance since high school (8 years ago), I'm used to the idea that options almost don't exist and that for every female there are 10 guys interested. Doesn't add up or make sense, but that's just how I've observed how it works in reality.
Quote from: Mirror Image on August 29, 2014, 07:27:53 PM
Since this is a thread that seems to be aimed at 'finding love,' I just want to say that I've had my eye on this woman for quite some time and we've spoken many times. Hopefully, we can get some coffee as she said she would like to go out with me. Anyway, I'm just going to go slow and play it by ear. I think this woman and I have some things in common.
Cool, good luck.
Quote from: Ken B on August 29, 2014, 08:04:48 PM
Well, good luck to both Greg and John. And remember, there are worse things than getting a no, so don't be over-shy.
Thanks, Ken. 8)
Quote from: Greg on August 29, 2014, 08:10:48 PM
I don't mind another friend if just that. Would just mean more free time if it's nothing serious.
But yeah, given that it's my first real chance since high school (8 years ago), I'm used to the idea that options almost don't exist and that for every female there are 10 guys interested. Doesn't add up or make sense, but that's just how I've observed how it works in reality.
Cool, good luck.
Thanks, Greg. Well, I hope it's more than just a 'friends' situation for you, but just take things slow and see where both of you stand. I think everyone deserves a chance at love. Some more than others. ;D
Quote from: Ken B on August 29, 2014, 08:04:48 PM
And remember, there are worse things than getting a no.
Yeah, like getting on Dexter's bad side, rectal cancer, being eaten alive by rats... ???
Quote from: Baklavaboy on August 29, 2014, 09:13:58 PM
Yeah, like getting on Dexter's bad side, rectal cancer, being eaten alive by rats... ???
Looking back I can think of a couple noes I wish I had heard ...
You are still pre-divorced, right? >:D :laugh:
Quote from: Ken B on August 30, 2014, 06:10:24 AM
Looking back I can think of a couple noes I wish I had heard ...
You are still pre-divorced, right? >:D :laugh:
I just mean a flat rejection is pretty rough. I remember I couple from 25 years ago, and they still sting. It takes a while to learn how and when to make a suggestion to a woman so that it's not such a big deal.
Out of curiosity, I took a count of all of the girls I've known in the last 8 years (post-high school) that I would even consider dating. The total is 17. (I'm being somewhat generous, and only would seriously consider a few long-term).
And if the girl I just mentioned starts dating me or someone else soon, that would be 0/17 because being single for less than a month doesn't really count IMO. (Some girls on that list either dated two guys at once or were in-between 2 or 3 guys at the same time for a while).
So what I'd like to know exactly how many girls one's own age one typically might have to know before they find someone single? Is it 30 or 40, maybe?
Quote from: Greg on September 09, 2014, 07:47:46 AM
Out of curiosity, I took a count of all of the girls I've known in the last 8 years (post-high school) that I would even consider dating. The total is 17. (I'm being somewhat generous, and only would seriously consider a few long-term).
And if the girl I just mentioned starts dating me or someone else soon, that would be 0/17 because being single for less than a month doesn't really count IMO. (Some girls on that list either dated two guys at once or were in-between 2 or 3 guys at the same time for a while).
So what I'd like to know exactly how many girls one's own age one typically might have to know before they find someone single? Is it 30 or 40, maybe?
The problem I'm running into is, yes, I can find a woman who is around 24-32 but she already has kids and that just kind of bums me out, but a lot of people have suggested to me "It's not her fault she has children" or "You shouldn't hold it against her, John." In some respects, I agree I shouldn't let it bother me, but IT DOES! I just can't get past it. I'm not sure if I want children or not, but I know I don't want anyone else's children. This I'm 100% sure of. If it makes me look petty, so be it. I don't care. I simply can't compromise on this issue. Hopefully, there's one woman out there that just makes me happy and emotionally/intellectually stimulated and that doesn't have kids of her own.
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 09, 2014, 06:51:11 PM
The problem I'm running into is, yes, I can find a woman who is around 24-32 but she already has kids and that just kind of bums me out, but a lot of people have suggested to me "It's not her fault she has children" or "You shouldn't hold it against her, John." In some respects, I agree I shouldn't let it bother me, but IT DOES! I just can't get past it. I'm not sure if I want children or not, but I know I don't want anyone else's children. This I'm 100% sure of. If it makes me look petty, so be it. I don't care. I simply can't compromise on this issue. Hopefully, there's one woman out there that just makes me happy and emotionally/intellectually stimulated and that doesn't have kids of her own.
Yeah, same here. By the time they are 24, almost all of them have kids. The girl I'm talking to now doesn't have kids, but she is... 20.
Speaking of... not sure what to think. One text message I get is just "mwahhh" (what is that, kissing or something?) and last night I asked her when she is free because I'm finally caught up with my homework, but got no text back. It could be any reason, but no reply is definitely the gentlest way of saying you're not interested.
Quote from: Greg on September 09, 2014, 07:07:41 PM
Yeah, same here. By the time they are 24, almost all of them have kids. The girl I'm talking to now doesn't have kids, but she is... 20.
Speaking of... not sure what to think. One text message I get is just "mwahhh" (what is that, kissing or something?) and last night I asked her when she is free because I'm finally caught up with my homework, but got no text back. It could be any reason, but no reply is definitely the gentlest way of saying you're not interested.
One problem I see is you're text messaging. Okay, you've got her number. That's great and a big step forward. You should just talk to her in person and tell her how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, then it's not meant to be. No harm done.
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 09, 2014, 07:22:05 PM
One problem I see is you're text messaging. Okay, you've got her number. That's great and a big step forward. You should just talk to her in person and tell her how you feel. If she doesn't feel the same way, then it's not meant to be. No harm done.
I did that already- I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime right after reconfirming that she's definitely single and she said she is certainly interested but will be busy for two weeks (I was busy, too). About fifteen minutes later when I saw her again, she asked for my phone number. Almost two weeks have passed, and that's why I asked her again via text if she is free.
The problem of talking to her about that in person now is that there may be few or no opportunities to talk to her in private because she works up front now. When I saw her yesterday in the break room, a bunch of people were also in there, including the guy she just broke up with. Not the ideal environment to discuss such things.
Quote from: Greg on September 09, 2014, 07:30:55 PM
I did that already- I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime right after reconfirming that she's definitely single and she said she is certainly interested but will be busy for two weeks (I was busy, too). About fifteen minutes later when I saw her again, she asked for my phone number. Almost two weeks have passed, and that's why I asked her again via text if she is free.
The problem of talking to her about that in person now is that there may be few or no opportunities to talk to her in private because she works up front now. When I saw her yesterday in the break room, a bunch of people were also in there, including the guy she just broke up with. Not the ideal environment to discuss such things.
Well, you could always call her instead of texting her and she if she's like to do something.
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 09, 2014, 07:35:12 PM
Well, you could always call her instead of texting her and she if she's like to do something.
Hmmm... I suppose I could. The reason why I texted to begin with is none of us have regular schedules, so there's no telling when she can answer the phone. Not even texting back "let me check my schedule," or something, which takes 10 seconds, is not promising.
Quote from: Greg on September 09, 2014, 07:41:24 PM
Hmmm... I suppose I could. The reason why I texted to begin with is none of us have regular schedules, so there's no telling when she can answer the phone. Not even texting back "let me check my schedule," or something, which takes 10 seconds, is not promising.
I think a text message is one of the most impersonal ways a person can communicate with anyone. I mean you need to put her on the spot. Like I said, if she doesn't give you a yes, you can always move on. No harm done.
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 09, 2014, 08:03:34 PM
I think a text message is one of the most impersonal ways a person can communicate with anyone. I mean you need to put her on the spot. Like I said, if she doesn't give you a yes, you can always move on. No harm done.
Impersonal AND suggests you are not really that interested in HER as opposed to any other prospect. Like you are just casting a net hoping to catch something. Calling is better.
Quote from: Ken B on September 09, 2014, 08:43:25 PM
Impersonal AND suggests you are not really that interested in HER as opposed to any other prospect. Like you are just casting a net hoping to catch something. Calling is better.
Exactly. 8)
Really? I love the idea of texting something like that. It does seem low key and like it's no big deal--Perfect!
Quote from: Baklavaboy on September 09, 2014, 08:51:55 PM
Really? I love the idea of texting something like that. It does seem low key and like it's no big deal--Perfect!
That's guy think when girl think is called for (I think. :laugh:)
Quote from: Ken B on September 10, 2014, 05:37:40 AM
That's guy think when girl think is called for (I think. :laugh:)
You could be right, It's been many years since I had to worry about this type of thing.
Quote from: Ken B on September 10, 2014, 05:37:40 AM
That's guy think when girl think is called for (I think. :laugh:)
Not sure, since she did say she much prefers the way guys think. Regardless, I'll figure it out...
Quote from: Greg on September 09, 2014, 07:41:24 PM
Hmmm... I suppose I could. The reason why I texted to begin with is none of us have regular schedules, so there's no telling when she can answer the phone. Not even texting back "let me check my schedule," or something, which takes 10 seconds, is not promising.
That's what voice mail is for. :)
Indeed! Leave a short, confident-but-not-pushy voice-mail. It will make a strong impression.
I'm going to give her one last chance... next time I see her I'll again offer to hang out with her whenever she's off and tell her she should let me know if she's interested in doing so. If she doesn't take me up on my offer, I'm just going to forget about it. Seems the best way to go about it. (Probably should have told her last night, but will likely get another chance in the next week or so...)
No fun, this stuff is...
R U really stuck on the goatee??
also, that head shot makes you look like you're hiding somethin' tubby- if you're not, you need to show yo'seff- if you wuz a gurl with a headshot that cropped, I'd be really suspicious of what's lurking beyond the border.
get a pic of you leaning against a wall with that "hey what the fuck I'm jus'a chillin at the hacienda" look, with your arms folded to make it look like ya got some guns- or just a funny MJ like pose grabbin' yo junk with a duck face and a bird flip- "hey bioches- wazzup???"
seriously, just gag it up with a cocked baseball cap and some of yer mom's gold chain jewlery with a Flava Flav look on yer face.
the "serious boy" look doesn't work in this climate of man fear
you don't EVEN want to know what's been going on/not going on in snyprrr's life lately... oy vey... I was allowed to see what Ive been missing---- fffuuuuuu----- YES PLEASE I'D LIKE SOME OF THAT!!!!!---- someone lavished attention on me----- and then----- took some of it back------ ooooouuuuuuccchhhhhhh---- keeping me lingering with "words only"---- how can any man trust words????----- "you don't know how close I was to kissing you" NO, no I don't >:D >:D >:D
aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
frankly, if I knew I wasn't going to taste the sweet lovins' ever again.... mmmmm... I just can't think like that, it's too hard... one must go on hoping I guess...
razor blades anyone?? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
man- just being a "normal looking guy" these days is like being a paedo in days gone by. siiiigh :(
would you like any more of my patented "feel good" advice?? :laugh:
Quote from: snyprrr on September 16, 2014, 07:34:57 AM
also, that head shot makes you look like you're hiding somethin' tubby- if you're not, you need to show yo'seff- if you wuz a gurl with a headshot that cropped, I'd be really suspicious of what's lurking beyond the border.
Definitely not. I'm pretty close to having abs and am not without some muscle, either. Actually, if I actually prioritized working out, I'd have plenty of both.
Quote from: Greg on September 16, 2014, 07:11:21 AMnext time I see her I'll again offer to hang out with her whenever she's off...
That's what you're offering the girl, a chance to hang out with you? Yeah, I know I'm really old, about two generations removed from your generation, Greg, and probably out of touch...but really, is that what you kids do when you're not playing in my yard? ;D
Seems to me you would have more luck, and get an immediate answer, if you asked her out...on a date...you know, something specific: dinner, a movie, a concert, whatever. Maybe that's what you mean by "hanging out" ...if so, I apologize for the mistake. I'll go take my nap now.
Sarge
Guess I will specify it's a date. It should be obvious given the context, but safer to make it clear, I suppose...
Quote from: Greg on September 16, 2014, 07:40:27 AM
Definitely not. I'm pretty close to having abs and am not without some muscle, either. Actually, if I actually prioritized working out, I'd have plenty of both.
I have a 4-PAK with some drank out of each one!! :laugh: :laugh:
SSSShhhheeeee man, if youse gots some flesh for the gals you HAVE to show it. I know you're a sensitive guy, but you'll never (probably) meet a pretty girl who likes Ligeti, so, you must give the girls what THEY want- and they want your hot bod
3 Things A Guy Can "Have":
1) Ridiculously Good Looks
2) Dance Moves
3) oh... and Money
If have not one of those three, you are what's known as "Invisible". If you have any one- beat them with it like it was a horse's leg!!
PS- at the MEREST SIGN that you are
a) sensitive
b) have needs
c) cry
d) yell
e) look like you might yell
f) look like you might have the slightest problem with anything they do
g) look like you might disapprove
h) OR ANY SUCH THING
You Are DonE!!-
at all costs- do NOT "be yourself"- be what they want you to be until you can be that no longer-
eh? the Great Advice is just Droppin' Like Dew :laugh:
YOU HAVE TWO WEEKS!! That's the "girl cycle of like"
Where are you on the 2 week cycle? Trust me, you'll know what's up after 2 weeks----- clock.work.------
Quote from: Greg on September 16, 2014, 09:18:02 AM
Guess I will specify it's a date. It should be obvious given the context, but safer to make it clear, I suppose...
"hanging out" is so 1997.... the girls have moved on from that terminology... that phrase will put you in the dreaded FriendZone quickern'...
yes- be CLEAR and SPECIFIC
"I like you cause you're pretty... and smart!!"
It's funny how the ladies get that REAL WORRIED look when they KNOW you are asking them out on a D.A.T.E. "Date" IS the new work for "F***"- BELIEVE IT AND LIVE BY IT.
"I'm not dating anyone right now."
Guess what THAT means?????
sorry- I'm getting worked up into a lather here- carry on :-X :laugh:
(I just hope one of us gets "there" soon- oy vey!!) can you say EXTREME DROUGHT CONDITIONS FOR 7 YEARS???????
:'( :'( :'( :'(
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
:'( :'( :'(
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
YES- thatMANY TEARS!!
This is a test: Will Greg take dating advice from snypsss?
(* munches popcorn *)
Quote from: karlhenning on September 16, 2014, 09:55:13 AM
This is a test: Will Greg take dating advice from snypsss?
(* munches popcorn *)
;D
There are some good points, though. Expecting to find someone who likes classical music is unrealistic. I've never known any female classical music fans. A couple of males, yes, though they weren't extremely into it.
And the sensitive part, too, at least when it's about yourself... will just be seen as being selfish. And I agree that at least
completely being yourself is not a good idea most of the time.
For example, I read this guy posting something like, "All it takes to meet women is live your life and dedicate yourself to your hobbies!" That really made me laugh. So he meets a woman taking during the course of taking a cooking class. So what about those with hobbies that women don't like? In any computer science course, you're going to see at least a 10:1 male to female ratio. If I went back to the technical school I went to and took cosmetology classes, I'd have no problem at all finding a date. Or two.
Quote from: Greg on September 16, 2014, 10:56:15 AMI've never known any female classical music fans.
Ever been to a concert?
Quote from: karlhenning on September 16, 2014, 09:55:13 AM
This is a test: Will Greg take dating advice from snypsss?
(* munches popcorn *)
you made me clean the monitor on that one!! :laugh:
Hey- I'm just tellin it like it is- there's a war going on out there and if Greg doesn't want to become vag fodder he needs to figure out real quick how to talk to girls and convince them (and yourself) that it's the truth. "The Truth" has a totally different meaning when you're trying to talk to a female lady tyoe person. I'm afeared that Greg's pesky conscience is going to get the better of him and he's going to blurt out an inconvenient truth at the worst possible time.
YOU WANT SOME GOOD ADVICE?
Never give your real name- especially these days. Even if you just spell your name wrong for them, do it, because people will look you up in a heartbeat- if you have anything out there-
HOW OLD ARE YOU?? You're whatever age she wants you to be!! YOU'RE the Mystery Man!! If she's older- make sure she thinks you're younger. If she's younger, make sure she thinks you're older.
ARE YOU DATING?? Fuuuu...yea you're dating--- someone, anyone--- you tell your girl that this girl you've been dating is tweating you all mean, and that makes you sad, and you just need someone to loooov.... slurp slurp........see? how quickly she responded to a sob story about an evil witch? SO- you're ALWAYS dating- "but I wish I was dating someone like you"
THE REASON YOU NEED TO MAKE UP STORIES is to keep it interesting for YOU!! YOU- so when you go home alone and ____ ___ you'll at least have some lolz- all in good fun!!
IF ANYONE EVER CALLS YOU ON YOUR "MYSTERY MAN" STATUS- just say "Well, YOU liked it." (you can add a term of endearment if you like)
GREG- IT'S TIME TO BECOME
BAD GREG!! >:D >:D >:D
(you like my advice so far Karl??) ;)
I WANT YOU SPORTING SUNGLASSES AT.ALL.TIMES.---- ALL.TIMES.--- COLLAR, TOP OF HEAD- WHATEVER
ALWAYS ACT LIKE A YOUNG MICKYT ROURKE. SCRATCH YOUR - ONCE IN A WHILE- WHILE THEY'RE LOOKING- THEN SHRUG (Sid Vicious)
oh- MUST MUST MUST get some "cool ass boots"- cowboy boots or whatever you call them tough guy boots- pipe layin' boots- MUST MUST MUST
(are you writing this down?)
(Karl, I was talking to you!!) :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
BREAKING UPDATE:!! As a token gesture to this Thread, I asked a young lady out tonight (that I'm acquainted with). I went something like this:
EVENT BREAKUP- people walking to cars. I spot her a few clicks ahead. She's getting right in front of my car (going to hers)
ME: Hey Lily.
HER: Hey-
(greet- hug)
ME: How ya doin?
HER: Oh, I have to get to work-
ME: oh, wow- it's so late-
HER: -so-
ME: Hey--
HER -mm?-
ME: I was gonna aks you out sometime
HER: I'm going to have to... respectfully decline.
ME: ha- ok
HER -mm-
ME: alright- night
HER- by
(I get in my car)
"respectfully decline"???????? wtf????? who says THAT????? What did it EVEN mean????? AAAAAAHHHHHHHH??????????? Am I on some BlackList????? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Anyhow- Greg- Karl- that's what we're up against here. I want you to force yourself to ask someone you know is going to say NO- you NEED the practice-
Karl- tell 5 women at Walmart you think they're sexy. Just walk up to them- "I just thought you should know- I think you're sexy." And nod and walk away.
NO#W GO!!!!
Quote from: Rinaldo on September 16, 2014, 01:13:27 PM
Ever been to a concert?
Three classical, one metal. Okay, I met an old lady that loves Beethoven there once. Does that count? The reasons why I don't go anymore is that:
1. they rarely program anything I'm interested in;
2. if they do, I realize that I have to take a night off from work since I almost always work in the evening;
3. if I'm willing to take a night off, I really don't feel like driving over an hour to get there.
Damn, you haven't even asked her out yet, Greg? ???
So it looks like a no for me, too, snyprrr. I didn't precisely say "date," but I just asked if she'd call me when she got some free time. Then I'd say "date" and such. She just said no, since she's too busy. Of course, there is some basis for it- finishing off a 15 hour work/school day, but she'll have time later, so that was obviously just an excuse. When someone you might be interested in wants you to call them, you don't just say "no, too busy." And you don't ignore their texts asking when they are free.
My next step is trying to figure out exactly what is so repulsive to women about me. I have no idea what was so much more appealing about the last guy she dated, so apparently there is something I'm doing wrong. Maybe it is the fact that I don't say "fuckitty fuck fuck fuckerson" and make gay rape jokes all the time? Anyways, I'm just going to ask the last girl I tried to date, which was a few years ago. She's married and has a kid and I'll never see her again, so why not?
Quote from: Greg on September 16, 2014, 07:25:32 PM
So it looks like a no for me, too, snyprrr. I didn't precisely say "date," but I just asked if she'd call me when she got some free time. Then I'd say "date" and such. She just said no, since she's too busy. Of course, there is some basis for it- finishing off a 15 hour work/school day, but she'll have time later, so that was obviously just an excuse. When someone you might be interested in wants you to call them, you don't just say "no, too busy." And you don't ignore their texts asking when they are free.
My next step is trying to figure out exactly what is so repulsive to women about me. I have no idea what was so much more appealing about the last guy she dated, so apparently there is something I'm doing wrong. Maybe it is the fact that I don't say "fuckitty fuck fuck fuckerson" and make gay rape jokes all the time? Anyways, I'm just going to ask the last girl I tried to date, which was a few years ago. She's married and has a kid and I'll never see her again, so why not?
Well, one mustn't forget that humor helps ease a lot of the pressure you seem to be feeling. Perhaps you're just too serious? Perhaps you lack a certain confidence that she's looking for? If you're honest with yourself and would quit fucking around and just ask her point blank for a date, then maybe you'll get a better answer than "I'm busy." The fact that you're questioning yourself to begin with shows a self-esteem problem, which is a definite turn-off for most women.
Greg, if it really has been several years since you tried to date someone, there is no reason to conclude from this rejection that you are doing something wrong. If she likes a different type of guy, then you probably wouldn't have been happy with each other anyway. If anything, you probably just haven't made enough of an effort to meet more potential dates--it sounds like in your case, online dating sites (with all their faults, as discussed earlier in the thread) may be a necessary supplement to just relying on people you meet through work or mutual friends, since it sounds like you don't meet too many that way. Finding the right person can take a long time, often with plenty of rejections, bad dates, and ill-fated relationship attempts in the meantime. In my case, I didn't find the right person until I was 40. Hopefully you won't have to wait quite that long, but try not to blame yourself or get too discouraged from this rejection. It's an inevitable aspect of dating--if you're not not getting hurt along the way, you're probably doing something wrong.
Just chatted with my friend who I used to try to date. I asked her if there is anything that women find repulsive about me so she could help out.
She said:
QuoteIs that your question or is that you just saying that because of my reactions? Lol. If that is your question then I'm honestly not quite sure how to answer it lol. Idk why you would think that anyway. Maybe you're just trying to hard, because people will literally fall in your lap when you least expect it and something great can come of it with no effort at all. Or maybe you're just seeking the wrong kind of girls... or maybe you just want things that they don't want or feel they aren't ready for yet
QuoteLol just chill. I promise, once you stop trying stuff will start happening. It's like magic lol. Girls are tricky too, wait until someone seems legitimately attached before you get attached. keep your head up!
I thought she was the best person to ask since she has some insider knowledge and she does genuinely care about me. Now I'm not so sure how useful some of that advice is. Only girls can put in no effort and get results. Is "stop trying" really a good thing to do? I've done plenty of that...
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 16, 2014, 07:40:03 PM
Well, one mustn't forget that humor helps ease a lot of the pressure you seem to be feeling. Perhaps you're just too serious? Perhaps you lack a certain confidence that she's looking for? If you're honest with yourself and would quit fucking around and just ask her point blank for a date, then maybe you'll get a better answer than "I'm busy." The fact that you're questioning yourself to begin with shows a self-esteem problem, which is a definite turn-off for most women.
If she doesn't understand what I meant when I asked, "Are you completely broken up with x? If so, do you want to hang out with me?" then maybe she's just too dumb to date. I originally planned to use the word "date" tonight, but she looked like she was about to die from lack of sleep, so it just didn't feel right- kind of a selfish thing to ask at that moment.
Quote from: NorthNYMark on September 16, 2014, 07:57:56 PM
Greg, if it really has been several years since you tried to date someone, there is no reason to conclude from this rejection that you are doing something wrong. If she likes a different type of guy, then you probably wouldn't have been happy with each other anyway. If anything, you probably just haven't made enough of an effort to meet more potential dates--it sounds like in your case, online dating sites (with all their faults, as discussed earlier in the thread) may be a necessary supplement to just relying on people you meet through work or mutual friends, since it sounds like you don't meet too many that way. Finding the right person can take a long time, often with plenty of rejections, bad dates, and ill-fated relationship attempts in the meantime. In my case, I didn't find the right person until I was 40. Hopefully you won't have to wait quite that long, but try not to blame yourself or get too discouraged from this rejection. It's an inevitable aspect of dating--if you're not not getting hurt along the way, you're probably doing something wrong.
Thanks. I stopped trying the online dating websites because there weren't enough women that I was even interested in that lived in my area. I counted, probably, 7 on match.com and POF I don't remember, need to double check, but probably not much... in the city, I saw so many that I couldn't even count them all. But it'll be well over a year before I'm able to move.
She's got complete opposite interests as me. Loves terrible party music and loves to drink and smoke pot. Her appeal is that she's a really pleasant, fun person to be around.
I have to admire my friend's ability to spell the word "you're." I was surprised. Probably only about 20% of Americans can properly spell that word.
Quote from: Greg on September 16, 2014, 08:14:34 PMIf she doesn't understand what I meant when I asked, "Are you completely broken up with x? If so, do you want to hang out with me?" then maybe she's just too dumb to date. I originally planned to use the word "date" tonight, but she looked like she was about to die from lack of sleep, so it just didn't feel right- kind of a selfish thing to ask at that moment.
I understand perfectly well about timing BUT I think to use the words 'hang out' is a poor choice because this implies a 'friend zone' scenario to me and you obviously want to be more than just 'friends' with her.
Maybe this woman just isn't for you? There are plenty of other fish in the sea, my friend, but if you continue to dance around the issue of asking for a date by using phrases like 'hang out' than I don't think you're going anywhere. I would rather get rejected once than a series of half-yeses and half-no's. If I REALLY liked a woman than my heart just couldn't take that, I have to be direct with them or move onto to another woman. I don't play games when my feelings are on the line.
I've got a little thing brewing myself. There's this woman who works for Virgin Mobile and she has a display set up at the store I work at and she and I have really hit it off so far. Next time I see her, I'm going to ask her out for dinner. If she says, no, then no harm done, I'll move on to someone else. Rejection is apart of dating and even though it's not a fun thing to have to endure, you still have to pick yourself up and keep going. That's really the only way. Sometimes persistence can also payoff. Like wait a month or two after you've asked the woman out and then ask her again if you're still interested in her of course and aren't dating anyone. Sometimes the second or third times the charm, but this doesn't happen all the time, but it certainly doesn't hurt to ask again given a reasonable amount of time has passed.
I'll also add the woman I'm currently interested in has told me that she loves traveling and is considering becoming a flight attendant, but, also is considering going to school. I asked her "Wouldn't becoming a flight attendant keep you away from your family? Wouldn't it also put a damper on your love life if you met someone special?" She said "I have family here but I have no reason to stay if I took that job."
Hmmmm.....could she perhaps be implying to me that she doesn't have a boyfriend or anyone to date? That would seem like a strange thing to say for someone who was involved in a serious relationship.
Note: I haven't asked if she had a boyfriend or anything, but the above information seems to indicate that she doesn't.
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 16, 2014, 08:23:25 PM
I understand perfectly well about timing BUT I think to use the words 'hang out' is a poor choice because this implies a 'friend zone' scenario to me and you obviously want to be more than just 'friends' with her.
Maybe this woman just isn't for you? There are plenty of other fish in the sea, my friend, but if you continue to dance around the issue of asking for a date by using phrases like 'hang out' than I don't think you're going anywhere. I would rather get rejected once than a series of half-yeses and half-no's. If I REALLY liked a woman than my heart just couldn't take that, I have to be direct with them or move onto to another woman. I don't play games when my feelings are on the line.
What do you think about inviting someone to see a movie with you? Rarely, if ever, would using the word "date" not be extremely awkward, and that doesn't really help you feel relaxed. I used to use this "movie" question, though not sure why I don't any more.
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 16, 2014, 08:30:53 PM
I've got a little thing brewing myself. There's this woman who works for Virgin Mobile and she has a display set up at the store I work at and she and I have really hit it off so far. Next time I see her, I'm going to ask her out for dinner. If she says, no, then no harm done, I'll move on to someone else. Rejection is apart of dating and even though it's not a fun thing to have to endure, you still have to pick yourself up and keep going. That's really the only way. Sometimes persistence can also payoff. Like wait a month or two after you've asked the woman out and then ask her again if you're still interested in her of course and aren't dating anyone. Sometimes the second or third times the charm, but this doesn't happen all the time, but it certainly doesn't hurt to ask again given a reasonable amount of time has passed.
I tried the waiting thing... doesn't really work if they have a hard time letting go of someone.
Quote from: Greg on September 16, 2014, 08:40:31 PM
What do you think about inviting someone to see a movie with you? Rarely, if ever, would using the word "date" not be extremely awkward, and that doesn't really help you feel relaxed. I used to use this "movie" question, though not sure why I don't any more.
Personally, a movie date is one of the worst ones to have at first, because there's little talking involved. The dinner date, IMHO, is better because you can at least talk to each other and get to know one another. If things progress from the dinner than see if she would like to catch a movie with you. This seems like a better scenario than going to a movie first. Hell, you can even back up a step and just see if she would like to get coffee with you so you could get to know each other. If there's some chemistry, then you could ask her if she'd like to have dinner with you and that could be your first date, then, hopefully, things will progress with each successive date.
Quote from: Greg on September 16, 2014, 08:40:31 PMI tried the waiting thing... doesn't really work if they have a hard time letting go of someone.
Well, if they're having a hard time letting go of someone, then move onto the next woman. It's that simple. Not worth your time.
Quote from: Greg on September 16, 2014, 08:40:31 PM
What do you think about inviting someone to see a movie with you? Rarely, if ever, would using the word "date" not be extremely awkward
Of course. I never used the word date when asking a women out. It was always specific, with a place and time. My long-term relationships began with: Would you like to go to the Christmas Formal with me? Would you like to get a cup of tea? Would you like to go to Cedar Point (an amusement park)? Would you like to go to the Mahler Second concert? Would you walk with me to the duck pond across campus (that's when I was dirt poor and all I could afford ;D She said yes 8) )
I think a movie can be good if it's combined with dinner (either before or after). It gives you something to talk about and gives you a break from conversation, a chance to regroup. I have had great first dates that included a movie.
Sarge
Well, if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably is.....a date at the duck pond.
Quote from: The new erato on September 17, 2014, 05:43:24 AM
Well, if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably is.....a date at the duck pound.
;D :laugh: ;D
Sarge
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 16, 2014, 08:57:36 PM
Personally, a movie date is one of the worst ones to have at first, because there's little talking involved. The dinner date, IMHO, is better because you can at least talk to each other and get to know one another. If things progress from the dinner than see if she would like to catch a movie with you. This seems like a better scenario than going to a movie first. Hell, you can even back up a step and just see if she would like to get coffee with you so you could get to know each other. If there's some chemistry, then you could ask her if she'd like to have dinner with you and that could be your first date, then, hopefully, things will progress with each successive date.
Movies are fine, but make it movie
followed by either coffee or dinner. Because then you can talk about the movie. You have a ready-made topic of conversation from a shared experience.
Quote from: Greg on September 16, 2014, 08:14:34 PM
Just chatted with my friend who I used to try to date. I asked her if there is anything that women find repulsive about me so she could help out.
She said:
I thought she was the best person to ask since she has some insider knowledge and she does genuinely care about me. Now I'm not so sure how useful some of that advice is. Only girls can put in no effort and get results. Is "stop trying" really a good thing to do? I've done plenty of that...
If she doesn't understand what I meant when I asked, "Are you completely broken up with x? If so, do you want to hang out with me?" then maybe she's just too dumb to date. I originally planned to use the word "date" tonight, but she looked like she was about to die from lack of sleep, so it just didn't feel right- kind of a selfish thing to ask at that moment.
"Girl Advice" is the most awful thing ever invented. Do the OPPOSITE of whatever they tell you?
"Just stop trying"--- UUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH
Greg- we haaave to be clear- are you looking to score or are you looking for a soul mate? If the latter, go to Romans, Chapter 1. If the former, well, you really are going to have to redefine what it means to "lie" to a girl. I can tell you're too sensitive about what you THINK is a lie- the girls (all of them) already have you where they want you- you're already fucked. You've GOT to start thinking of them as alien beings.
If that one girl is "fun to be around", well, what more do you want?Greg--- TODAY--- THIS VERY DAY--- I want you to go up to three women that cross your path. AS SOON AS THEY LOOK AT YOU- feign surprise and say, "Wow, you.are. ab.so.loute.ly. go-juss. R U single???" THAT'S WHAT THEY THINK DUMB DOG BOYS DO---- SO DO IT!!!!!! You can impress her later with your knowledge of My Little Pony.
tap tap tap tap tap tap
I'm thinking....
tap tap tap tap tap tap
My only advice today is to go out and practice being rejected. Learn to SEE- ENGAGE-DISCARD. First you see her, then you engage. If you're immediately rejected- move quickly along- don't allow time to make you feel a sting-- be on to the next one--- quick quick move move
NOOOW!!! GO---
(also, try a fresh shave today--- it'll grow back)
OK- some fresh advice fell from the sky--- DRESS UP--- put on your fanciest duds and go shopping--- go to GoodWill and get a sharkskin suit for $10--- pimp out--- mack daddy--- watch some '70s blaxploitation--- get hip--- put on airs---
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT SOLDIER
lie lie lie--- just tell a girl you make $100,000--- see what happens---- JUST SEE---- this IS an "Experiment", right??????? DO IT!!!!!
fuck- this Thread is making me feel 10X more desperate than I was two days ago! :laugh:
Wouldn't you think that all you guys who are after gals would just spend less time on this Feckin Forum and go hunting tang instead of talking about it?
You ain't gonna find whoopeeee sittin down replying to this post or any above.
Go hunting.
If your main chat up line is 'how'dya like Brian, Ades or indeed Schnittke', then you are really Royally Fecked.
Hey, babe -- wanna dig some Schnittke?
Quote from: snyprrr on September 17, 2014, 06:53:40 AM
Greg- we haaave to be clear- are you looking to score or are you looking for a soul mate?
Um, somewhere in the middle. There's prostitutes for the former and the latter sounds a bit too intense and possibly time consuming.
Might be hard to lie about the $100,000 a year thing considering the external condition of my car...
(though give me about 10 years and it won't be a lie)
Quote from: AnthonyAthletic on September 17, 2014, 07:09:12 AM
Wouldn't you think that all you guys who are after gals would just spend less time on this Feckin Forum and go hunting tang instead of talking about it?
You ain't gonna find whoopeeee sittin down replying to this post or any above.
Go hunting.
If your main chat up line is 'how'dya like Brian, Ades or indeed Schnittke', then you are really Royally Fecked.
I'm only on this forum a bit more than I plan to because I basically do homework all day and then go to work. Tomorrow I'll be switching gyms and hanging out with my friend, so that's my plans for the week... idk, maybe I'll go bowling one day alone or something...
I see snyprrr has been reading some PUA material, eh? I used to read a little of that years ago, though it never really clicked. There's nothing likeable or inspiring about it. But I realized today an inspiring personality that has the same effect... when you can, snyprrr, I'd suggest you watch The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and To Love-Ru Darkness to know what I'm talking about.
Haruhi is the character I'm referring to. Today, just totally forgetting my reality (which would make other guys crazy, like that one guy who is younger than me and killed a bunch of people) and thinking about living her persona, I felt pretty good, to say the least.
A mistake I think I've made is being too sensitive to other people's feelings. I don't like asking people out when I could end up really annoying them; I know this because I've been there and someone you don't like trying to date or flirt with you gets really irritating and makes you just want to avoid them. And being the first girl that I've known in 8 years who is single + no kids + desirable, it makes me wonder how many years I'm going to have to wait for that combination to appear again.
And that leads me to my mentioning of the show To Love-Ru Darkness. I think this could be seen as a sort of parody of feminism and women's advice for how guys should act. The premise is that this high school boy is a really polite, well-mannered and respectful young man (the embodiment of how women says guys should be), but for some reason two girls love him and he can't choose between them (the two girls in my avatar). Eventually, over 10 more girls love him as well and one tries to plan a harem for him and make him king of the universe. The whole show is completely unbelievable because, for one, he is so respectful towards women that he whenever one makes a move to get his attention, he freaks out and doesn't do anything back and just locks up. Yet they love him even more. And that's why it's so funny- it's just such a contrast from anything believable in reality.
Look, it's simple. Men simply have it harder these days. The issue is that, since the sexual revolution, society stopped oppressing the sexuality of both genders. The effect has been to bring into full force the somewhat polygamous nature of human sexuality such that, in today's America, a sexually attractive man can dominate multiple women's "best years." For example, a sexually attractive man can date a woman in her 20s and, when she turns 30, start dating a different woman in her 20s. This serial hoarding of female erotic capital ends up having an effect similar to that of polygamy, at least as far as the sexual availability of women in their late teens to early 30s is concerned. In his 1994 book The Moral Animal, journalist Robert Wright points to data that shows the number of never married men has increased since the sexual revolution, and he implies female erotic capital hoarding as a cause.
I'm not shallow but there is no way I'm going to date a woman I'm not sexually attracted to, and what I've been seeing in the mass culture is that many normal, average, even attractive men, have to "date down" significantly just to get girlfriends.
This is not atypical:
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/05/09/article-2321812-19B162A6000005DC-683_306x526.jpg)
Online dating, and outright casual sex apps like Tinder, are the playground of all young women and attractive men. Average guys need not show up.
(This 4chan cartoon is very NSFW but it illustrates the reality of online dating.)
http://i.imgur.com/hNtH7B9.jpg
I guess that's more motivation to go to the gym and make money. As long as you are in your 30's (even older sometimes), you can still date girls in their 20's. That lady makes me want to vomit. Or run away, pouring acid behind me. (So excuse me while I turn into a gym douche)...
Though to be honest, I don't think I've ever known a guy with multiple girlfriends, but I've known several girls with multiple boyfriends. Not sure how that fits into your idea, though (and I've known plenty more guys than girls)...
Well, some guys out there, you need a flock of four guys to eke out a full person's worth of interest. So I entirely see that.
Quote from: -abe- on September 17, 2014, 10:15:38 PM
Look, it's simple. Men simply have it harder these days. The issue is that, since the sexual revolution, society stopped oppressing the sexuality of both genders. The effect has been to bring into full force the somewhat polygamous nature of human sexuality such that, in today's America, a sexually attractive man can dominate multiple women's "best years." For example, a sexually attractive man can date a woman in her 20s and, when she turns 30, start dating a different woman in her 20s. This serial hoarding of female erotic capital ends up having an effect similar to that of polygamy, at least as far as the sexual availability of women in their late teens to early 30s is concerned. In his 1994 book The Moral Animal, journalist Robert Wright points to data that shows the number of never married men has increased since the sexual revolution, and he implies female erotic capital hoarding as a cause.
I'm not shallow but there is no way I'm going to date a woman I'm not sexually attracted to, and what I've been seeing in the mass culture is that many normal, average, even attractive men, have to "date down" significantly just to get girlfriends.
This is not atypical:
(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/05/09/article-2321812-19B162A6000005DC-683_306x526.jpg)
Online dating, and outright casual sex apps like Tinder, are the playground of all young women and attractive men. Average guys need not show up.
(This 4chan cartoon is very NSFW but it illustrates the reality of online dating.)
http://i.imgur.com/hNtH7B9.jpg
rreeeeeeeally fuckin up my day wit dat :(
GREG- abes Post is all the Truth you need---- meet your new girlfriend :(
oh man you don't know how real that is
CAN I BE RUDE FOR A MOMENT?
Around here- when I'm at the local grocers- I have never ever in my life seen soooooo many- and I mean statistically explosive- numbers of geeky white guys with ghetto sistas--- and like the black comedian says "At least there's one thing weok, nevermind :laugh: you wouldn't understand ::)
Quote from: Greg on September 17, 2014, 09:07:35 AM
Um, somewhere in the middle. There's prostitutes for the former and the latter sounds a bit too intense and possibly time consuming.
Might be hard to lie about the $100,000 a year thing considering the external condition of my car...
(though give me about 10 years and it won't be a lie)
I'm only on this forum a bit more than I plan to because I basically do homework all day and then go to work. Tomorrow I'll be switching gyms and hanging out with my friend, so that's my plans for the week... idk, maybe I'll go bowling one day alone or something...
WOOOOOAAAAAHHHHHH
Wait a minute----- "prostitutes" are NOT for "scoring"
LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR!!
As I understand it (from others), prostitutes are WORKING- what they do is---- "work"---- SO----get this----- they want you DONE ASAP-- as soon as possible--- and apparently they know how to make you sploosh before you even get it up---- "hey, get the fuck away from my prostate"--- they will do their little magic trick that has you out the door in UNDER TWO MINUTES
THAT'S NOT NOT NOT SCORING!!!
let me repeat
WHAT YOU GET FROM A HOOKER IS NOT NOT NOT SEX--- it's more like going to some fretail joint to get something mundane done---- you will NOT have that "I just scored" feeling--- you will have the "I paid $120 for THAAAT?????" and be really pissed---- fuck, you could have taken out a girl for the best date of her life for a wisely spent 120.
so, Greg, hookers are NOT part of THIS problem. You will literally be no better off with a one-time 120 (sn)ow job--- likely MORE depressed
Let's just get the hooker thing out of the conversation entirely---- that shit's gonna make me mad--- we're not here to simply buckle over and... and.... PAY FEDERAL RESERVE NOTES!!!!! to some non-BBB wholesaler.
C'mon
Quote from: Greg on September 17, 2014, 07:05:45 PM
I see snyprrr has been reading some PUA material, eh? I used to read a little of that years ago, though it never really clicked. There's nothing likeable or inspiring about it. But I realized today an inspiring personality that has the same effect... when you can, snyprrr, I'd suggest you watch The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and To Love-Ru Darkness to know what I'm talking about.
Haruhi is the character I'm referring to. Today, just totally forgetting my reality (which would make other guys crazy, like that one guy who is younger than me and killed a bunch of people) and thinking about living her persona, I felt pretty good, to say the least.
A mistake I think I've made is being too sensitive to other people's feelings. I don't like asking people out when I could end up really annoying them; I know this because I've been there and someone you don't like trying to date or flirt with you gets really irritating and makes you just want to avoid them. And being the first girl that I've known in 8 years who is single + no kids + desirable, it makes me wonder how many years I'm going to have to wait for that combination to appear again.
And that leads me to my mentioning of the show To Love-Ru Darkness. I think this could be seen as a sort of parody of feminism and women's advice for how guys should act. The premise is that this high school boy is a really polite, well-mannered and respectful young man (the embodiment of how women says guys should be), but for some reason two girls love him and he can't choose between them (the two girls in my avatar). Eventually, over 10 more girls love him as well and one tries to plan a harem for him and make him king of the universe. The whole show is completely unbelievable because, for one, he is so respectful towards women that he whenever one makes a move to get his attention, he freaks out and doesn't do anything back and just locks up. Yet they love him even more. And that's why it's so funny- it's just such a contrast from anything believable in reality.
PUA stuff------ pffft------- remember my list???
1) Ridiculously good looking
2) Awesome dance moves
3) Money Money Money
There's a PUA debunking vid somewhere---- FACT IS ---- IT'S AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL ABOUT THE LOOKS----
There's a TV show where the two meet in the dark--- make a great spiritual connection--- and then, one at a time, each gets to see the other. When the girl saw that her new SOUL MATE was shorter, less hair, and geeky----- fuck no she didn't want that shit--- errr I mean SoulMate (TM).
THAT'S WHY I SAY DITCH THE GOATEE!!
A goatee says "My owner hasn't had sex since I've been around."
I'm most certainly not a PUA Practitioner (did well in college)- I'm the guy who says, when I meet someone new, "I'll just be really suave and charming the first time, and the next time I see her I'll ask her on a nice..." OH FUCK- the next time you see her she with Mr. Neck Tattoo--- you dumb fucker, don't be a snyprrr like that--- fffuuu---- DO IT NOW--- WHILST IT IS CALLED "TODAY"
THERE IS NO TOMORROW
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
(a squirrel comes a puts a cool damp cloth on snyprrr's weary brow)
"Now... go youngling."
Quote from: snyprrr on September 18, 2014, 08:19:16 AM
CAN I BE RUDE FOR A MOMENT?
Perfect opportunity to avail oneself of the FREE benefit of The Filter, bud.
Quote from: -abe- on September 17, 2014, 10:15:38 PM
...(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/05/09/article-2321812-19B162A6000005DC-683_306x526.jpg)
They look like a lovely couple! Love their smiles! ;D
Greg, I think she gave you at least one piece of very good advice: the one about "trying too hard." In my experience, meeting soul mates happens just when I've resigned myself to living as a single man. -- But that's one good thing (among an infinite number) of a real belief in God, as opposed to a mere "religion:" I can trust Him to take care of my needs for companionship, romance and adventure. :)
A quick word to some of the guys in this thread: if you're going to be so incredibly shallow about women, don't be put out when they do the same to you.
Best of luck, Greg, but I sure as hell wouldn't see this thread as helping you that much. Still, what do I know, I'm single and gay so I can't tell you what women want. But I suspect the first thing they want is to be treated like equal human beings.
Quote from: snyprrr on September 18, 2014, 08:19:16 AM
Wait a minute----- "prostitutes" are NOT for "scoring"
LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR!!
As I understand it (from others), prostitutes are WORKING- what they do is---- "work"---- SO----get this----- they want you DONE ASAP-- as soon as possible--- and apparently they know how to make you sploosh before you even get it up---- "hey, get the fuck away from my prostate"--- they will do their little magic trick that has you out the door in UNDER TWO MINUTES
THAT'S NOT NOT NOT SCORING!!!
let me repeat
WHAT YOU GET FROM A HOOKER IS NOT NOT NOT SEX--- it's more like going to some fretail joint to get something mundane done---- you will NOT have that "I just scored" feeling--- you will have the "I paid $120 for THAAAT?????" and be really pissed---- fuck, you could have taken out a girl for the best date of her life for a wisely spent 120.
so, Greg, hookers are NOT part of THIS problem. You will literally be no better off with a one-time 120 (sn)ow job--- likely MORE depressed
Let's just get the hooker thing out of the conversation entirely---- that shit's gonna make me mad--- we're not here to simply buckle over and... and.... PAY FEDERAL RESERVE NOTES!!!!! to some non-BBB wholesaler.
Um, yeah, forget I mentioned that. Hookers aren't meant to be a part of this conversation.
Quote from: jochanaan on September 18, 2014, 08:30:27 AM
They look like a lovely couple! Love their smiles! ;D
Couple? I see a man and a giant pufferfish. This is a fishing photo, not a couple's photo.
Quote from: jochanaan on September 18, 2014, 08:30:27 AM
Greg, I think she gave you at least one piece of very good advice: the one about "trying too hard."
I agree. Her advice is a mixed bag with some good snippets. That's why I asked.
I try not to try too hard, but when I can't say I feel like I have a special connection to any of the girls I've asked out before, it probably doesn't help. Either that or never ask anyone out...
Quote from: jochanaan on September 18, 2014, 08:30:27 AM
In my experience, meeting soul mates happens just when I've resigned myself to living as a single man.
I came to that point about 5 years ago. Of course, if I see someone interesting, I'll go for it, because you can't expect girls to come up to you. But in my experience, you can be as comfortable as you can being by yourself and it doesn't make any sort of difference.
Quote from: orfeo on September 18, 2014, 03:09:13 PM
A quick word to some of the guys in this thread: if you're going to be so incredibly shallow about women, don't be put out when they do the same to you.
Best of luck, Greg, but I sure as hell wouldn't see this thread as helping you that much. Still, what do I know, I'm single and gay so I can't tell you what women want. But I suspect the first thing they want is to be treated like equal human beings.
If you like to date guys that are waaaaaaay less attractive than you (imagine a gay version of the picture above and you are the guy), then fine. Just don't expect me to do the same.
Looks are an extremely important part of dating, though not everything. If I hated everything about an extremely attractive girl, I wouldn't ask them out. Of course, women are equal human beings, but that pufferfish that people for some reason think is a woman is not equal in terms of looks to that guy. A female with a great personality I'll gladly befriend. But if they are shaped like a pufferfish, I'll be too grossed out to even want to touch them.
Quote from: orfeo on September 18, 2014, 03:09:13 PM
I can't tell you what women want. But I suspect the first thing they want is to be treated like equal human beings.
If you thought snyprrr was depressed by Abe's post ...
If that ever became the norm (that photo), society is clearly fucked. However, I've known people for whom it was the opposite. I used to know a guy around my age who looked like a genuine creep- ridiculously skinny and prematurely balding with messed up teeth. He also worked with me, which meant he wasn't making much at all. His wife though, is very pretty and I wonder how it happened.
My only guess is that it has something to do with his personality- always pissed off and cynical. And I overheard something he said which explains his attitude towards women: "that's how you keep them in line." I suppose it was the attitude that he is boss, even if though he is really ugly and poor, that attracted a pretty wife.
And should I even mention the hot Polish girl who only dated black guys that physically abused her, even though she could date anyone she wanted?... (maybe I should stop there) :P
Quote from: orfeo on September 18, 2014, 03:09:13 PM
A quick word to some of the guys in this thread: if you're going to be so incredibly shallow about women, don't be put out when they do the same to you.
Best of luck, Greg, but I sure as hell wouldn't see this thread as helping you that much. Still, what do I know, I'm single and gay so I can't tell you what women want. But I suspect the first thing they want is to be treated like equal human beings.
There's so much inane, offensive misogynist bullshit in this thread from lonely men who are trying to excuse their failures, that I'm sure never to click on this thread again.
Quote from: Brian on September 18, 2014, 04:38:23 PM
There's so much inane, offensive misogynist bullshit in this thread from lonely men who are trying to excuse their failures, that I'm sure never to click on this thread again.
What specifically other than a generalized statement?
Quote from: Greg on September 18, 2014, 04:14:21 PM
If that ever became the norm (that photo), society is clearly fucked. However, I've known people for whom it was the opposite. I used to know a guy around my age who looked like a genuine creep- ridiculously skinny and prematurely balding with messed up teeth. He also worked with me, which meant he wasn't making much at all. His wife though, is very pretty and I wonder how it happened.
My only guess is that it has something to do with his personality- always pissed off and cynical. And I overheard something he said which explains his attitude towards women: "that's how you keep them in line." I suppose it was the attitude that he is boss, even if though he is really ugly and poor, that attracted a pretty wife.
And should I even mention the hot Polish girl who only dated black guys that physically abused her, even though she could date anyone she wanted?... (maybe I should stop there) :P
Both women and men have been known to make irrational, seemingly (and sometimes truly) self-destructive dating/relationship choices. To decide that bad behavior is what really attracts women (as if there is anything that attracts women generally, rather than specific, individual women) will only end in disaster, I suspect. It seems to me that the question is not "What do women want," but what kind of woman
you want, and what kind of person you think
that woman would be attracted to. For some reason, I suspect that bitterness about women in general (which has been a common theme among many of the replies here, save for Sarge, Jochanaan, and Orfeo) would not be an attractive trait to the kind of woman you would wish to attract. Saying really cruel things about a woman you find unattractive in a picture is probably not going to be especially endearing to those women whom you might find attractive, either. [And I really do not see the point of that photograph in the first place--if it really were such a common sight (as claimed by the poster), would it have provoked the horrified response it was obviously intended to?]
Anyway, I really think it sounds like your only problem is not being in a position to meet enough single women. It may get easier when your circumstances change. I was in a similar position for a while--in my case, as a gay man living in a relatively remote, rural area. For me, the online route was really the only option, but like you, I found very few people in my region on Match, POF, etc. Even further out (over an hour away), the closest cities to me are across the border in Canada, and few Ottowans or Montrealers used those sites. What made the difference for me was finding the sites the Canadians used--eventually, I met my current partner of five years. In your case, you may just need to expand your geographic range to include the larger city nearest to you. Alternatively, you could just wait a little longer until your situation changes (as you mentioned possibly moving to NYC in a year). But I hope you won't start resenting women in general, because that could just end up ruining things when you do meet someone who could be right for you.
Quote from: NorthNYMark on September 18, 2014, 04:55:54 PM
Both women and men have been known to make irrational, seemingly (and sometimes truly) self-destructive dating/relationship choices. To decide that bad behavior is what really attracts women (as if there is anything that attracts women generally, rather than specific, individual women) will only end in disaster, I suspect. It seems to me that the question is not "What do women want," but what kind of woman you want, and what kind of person you think that woman would be attracted to. For some reason, I suspect that bitterness about women in general (which has been a common theme among many of the replies here, save for Sarge, Jochanaan, and Orfeo) would not be an attractive trait to the kind of woman you would wish to attract. Saying really cruel things about a woman you find unattractive in a picture is probably not going to be especially endearing to those women whom you might find attractive, either. [And I really do not see the point of that photograph in the first place--if it really were such a common sight (as claimed by the poster), would it have provoked the horrified response it was obviously intended to?]
Anyway, I really think it sounds like your only problem is not being in a position to meet enough single women. It may get easier when your circumstances change. I was in a similar position for a while--in my case, as a gay man living in a relatively remote, rural area. For me, the online route was really the only option, but like you, I found very few people in my region on Match, POF, etc. Even further out (over an hour away), the closest cities to me are across the border in Canada, and few Ottowans or Montrealers used those sites. What made the difference for me was finding the sites the Canadians used--eventually, I met my current partner of five years. In your case, you may just need to expand your geographic range to include the larger city nearest to you. Alternatively, you could just wait a little longer until your situation changes (as you mentioned possibly moving to NYC in a year). But I hope you won't start resenting women in general, because that could just end up ruining things when you do meet someone who could be right for you.
I believe you are correct about the geography being the biggest issue... I came to the same conclusion before but thought it would be nicer if it were a problem to do with me, so I can fix it easily. I might reconsider the expanding the travel times/geography for now... (how far would most people travel for a date, though?) That was an interesting story, though, and I appreciate you sharing it!
Yeah, resenting women would be very counterproductive. It'd be better to resent this town. :P
I think there is nothing wrong with the lady that a wardrobe consultant could not fix. Get her out of the shorts that are too short for anyone who is not a sex worker, and a non fugly pair of socks, and she would be seen as a beautiful woman.
Quote from: Jeffrey Smith on September 18, 2014, 05:10:28 PM
I think there is nothing wrong with the lady that a wardrobe consultant could not fix. Get her out of the shorts that are too short for anyone who is not a sex worker, and a non fugly pair of socks, and she would be seen as a beautiful woman.
IMO the only thing that would help is losing a hundred pounds or so.
ok, I'll stop... :-X
Quote from: Brian on September 18, 2014, 04:38:23 PM
There's so much inane, offensive misogynist bullshit in this thread from lonely men who are trying to excuse their failures, that I'm sure never to click on this thread again.
Brian, where am I wrong? The cumulative effect of attractive men serially dating young women (and then moving onto younger women) is that other men are screwed out of dating women in their prime (19 to early 30s.) This perfectly fits with human nature, from women tending to find men who are already in relationships as more attractive than single men (pre-selection effect) to men who remarry tending to select women younger then their previous wives.
As I said, I came across this idea (serial monogamy as polygny) from the 1994 book
The Moral Animal, by liberal journalist Robert Wright (and founder of bloggingheads.tv). This is the relevant passage:
http://tinyurl.com/pgqj46q
Quote from: Greg on September 18, 2014, 05:04:20 PM
I believe you are correct about the geography being the biggest issue... I came to the same conclusion before but thought it would be nicer if it were a problem to do with me, so I can fix it easily. I might reconsider the expanding the travel times/geography for now... (how far would most people travel for a date, though?) That was an interesting story, though, and I appreciate you sharing it!
Yeah, resenting women would be very counterproductive. It'd be better to resent this town. :P
Admittedly, having to travel can be tough, so I can see why you want to avoid it if you could--but there are some circumstances where there isn't much of an alternative. In my case, Ottawa is just over an hour from me, and Montreal is just over two--and since I'm the one living in the remote place, I knew I'd have to plan to do most of the driving (especially since people in larger cities often don't even own cars). There were certainly some people (even in Ottawa) who thought I simply lived too far away to be worth their time, but I was able to have a pretty active dating life in that situation before I met my partner (who lives in Montreal and has no car, but obviously both of us thought it was worth a bit of inconvenience). Now, my situation is different from yours in that moving did not look likely for me in the near future due to my academic job, so that may have given me more motivation to make the effort.
Anyway, it really does sound like your living/working situation makes it hard for you to meet single women, so if you stay in that situation long enough, you'll probably just need to make more of an effort to put yourself in places where you're more likely to meet the kind of women you're seeking.
This is an illustration of Robert Wright's argument (slight nsfw):
http://i.imgur.com/YT44k8D.png
Single adults outnumber married adults:
http://nypost.com/2014/09/09/single-adults-now-outnumber-married-adults/
Of course, "single" means different things for your average male under 30 vs your average female under 30. For the former, it truly means "single," with sex being hard to come by. For the latter, it means "still having the option to easily obtain casual sex and friends with benefits arrangements, or being a side piece to some top male who considers me his second girlfriend." Let's just admit dating is harder for men in today's America.
Where are the women?
http://evoandproud.blogspot.com/2009/08/where-are-women.html
Quote from: -abe- on September 18, 2014, 05:18:13 PM
Brian, where am I wrong? The cumulative effect of attractive men serially dating young women (and then moving onto younger women) is that other men are screwed out of dating women in their prime (19 to early 30s.) This perfectly fits with human nature, from women tending to find men who are already in relationships as more attractive than single men (pre-selection effect) to men who remarry tending to select women younger then their previous wives.
As I said, I came across this idea (serial monogamy as polygny) from the 1994 book The Moral Animal, by liberal journalist Robert Wright (and founder of bloggingheads.tv). This is the relevant passage:
http://tinyurl.com/pgqj46q
I'm not Brian, but while it is certainly the case that many men have a really unfortunate tendency to leave their wives for younger "replacements," more recent generations have been marrying later and staying married longer than the boomers, and the vast majority of younger women I know tend to date men close to their own age. Reading your post, I would expect that most of my female students would be rejecting the male students in favor of all these divorced older men, but that just isn't happening--what happens a lot, though, is women (including those who would be considered very, very, attractive by most standards) getting treated pretty poorly by guys they are dating. If indeed younger women are turning to older men, one might have to ask what role younger men might be playing in that situation. However, most of my female friends who are now or have recently been single would definitely prefer attractive, financially and emotionally stable men their own age.
Also, I kind of wonder whether or not there is a double standard at play--presumably, if these attractive rich men are supposedly replacing their wives for younger women, as you age, more of these attractive women will become available--unless you only consider women much younger than yourself worthy of attention. In general, unlike the picture you provided, it seems like a lot of men don't realize what "league" they belong in and have unrealistic expectations--they think they can be overweight, for example, but the woman cannot (do you really think that women are that much more overweight than men on average, as the picture would imply?).
Finally, including that picture, in this particular context, was gratuitous and cruel, IMO. It does nothing to demonstrate your point, as we don't even know whether or not they are a couple, much less what they find attractive about one another if they are (for example, some people are specifically attracted to heavier people). The idea that the guy had to "settle" because all the women in his "league" are with attractive older men is insulting to both of them (if they even are a couple), and highly, highly unlikely, IMO. The only thing that picture did was provide an opportunity for people to respond in horror to someone (a human being) they don't find attractive.
Quote from: -abe- on September 18, 2014, 05:47:21 PM
Single adults outnumber married adults:
http://nypost.com/2014/09/09/single-adults-now-outnumber-married-adults/
Of course, "single" means different things for your average male under 30 vs your average female under 30. For the former, it truly means "single," with sex being hard to come by. For the latter, it means "still having the option to easily obtain casual sex and friends with benefits arrangements, or being a side piece to some top male who considers me his second girlfriend." Let's just admit dating is harder for men in today's America.
This is not only misogynist, but completely flies in the face of pretty much anything actually observable in US culture, at least. Are you really suggesting that the "average" single woman is more promiscuous than the "average" single man? I would be interested in seeing those statistics.
Quote from: NorthNYMark on September 18, 2014, 06:08:29 PM
This is not only misogynist, but completely flies in the face of pretty much anything actually observable in US culture, at least. Are you really suggesting that the "average" single woman is more promiscuous than the "average" single man? I would be interested in seeing those statistics.
There's no data that I can find to support that, just proceeding from the clear fact that female sexuality is more valued and competed for than male sexuality, thereby giving an average young single woman more options to meet their sexual needs and more options to stop being single. I fail to see what's misogynistic about this.
QuoteI'm not Brian, but while it is certainly the case that many men have a really unfortunate tendency to leave their wives for younger "replacements," more recent generations have been marrying later and staying married longer than the boomers, and the vast majority of younger women I know tend to date men close to their own age. Reading your post, I would expect that most of my female students would be rejecting the male students in favor of all these divorced older men, but that just isn't happening--what happens a lot, though, is women (including those who would be considered very, very, attractive by most standards) getting treated pretty poorly by guys they are dating. If indeed younger women are turning to older men, one might have to ask what role younger men might be playing in that situation. However, most of my female friends who are now or have recently been single would definitely prefer attractive, financially and emotionally stable men their own age.
Your are reading things into my post I'm in no way claiming. I agree that the vast majority of younger women date men close to their own age (allowing for a few years difference in the man's favor.) I'm saying that
attractive men now have the option of serially dating younger, fertile women well into their 40s, or some average guy who has charisma doing the same, perhaps dating women his own exact age until he's 30, and
then starting to dip down to women in their mid 20s. The effect is one of slight polygny because he's getting multiple women's "best years." Millions of men engaging in this behavior ends up creating a shortage of dateable women who are in their prime of fertility and beauty, which forces many average guys to date down in terms of looks just to get girlfriends.
QuoteAlso, I kind of wonder whether or not there is a double standard at play--presumably, if these attractive rich men are supposedly replacing their wives for younger women, as you age, more of these attractive women will become available--unless you only consider women much younger than yourself worthy of attention. In general, unlike the picture you provided, it seems like a lot of men don't realize what "league" they belong in and have unrealistic expectations--they think they can be overweight, for example, but the woman cannot (do you really think that women are that much more overweight than men on average, as the picture would imply?).
A women's looks is not a permanent and fixed quality, and unfortunately the good looks of women are overwhelmingly concentrated into the second 15 years of their lives. Men are innately attracted to younger women over older women. This is a fact repeatedly demonstrated by cross culture studies. Do not make me quote David M. Buss. The latest evidence is from this recent instantly famous data graph from a new book by the founder of OKCupid:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BxT0wa6IgAEImXH.png:large)
You are implying that guys who are single are merely failing to realize their "league" and ignoring women who are their match in terms of looks. The reality is the opposite: it's women ignoring men who are their looks match in preference for men out of their league, quite naturally due to the fact that (as the picture clearly implies), young women are competed for not just by their male peers but older males as well. This allows younger women to be far pickier in their mate selection. Before the Sexual Revolution, a woman often married in her early 20s and sacrificed the majority of her fertility window to one man. The Sexual Revolution was significantly about women rebelling against this arrangement. What we have today is young women engaging in serial relationships with alpha males but then settling to marry one of the lesser men they reject in their 20s when it becomes clear that those alpha males have no intention to marry them. Women in their 20s have *tremendous* sexual power, and they are averse to wasting it on men who aren't dominant, attractive, or the top dog in some way. The men who do possess those qualities are amply rewarded. This is a claim about averages, not absolutes. The average rate of heterosexual male sexual activity has remained the same but I'm betting that the
variance has increased.
Also: This is a single data point but the mentality of many young women today is not that far off from this:
http://www.slate.com/articles/video/dear_prudence/2014/07/dear_prudence_video_finding_mr_right_too_soon.html?wpsrc=fol_tw
*enjoy my 20s* = ride the cock carousel of alpha males until my late 20s/early 30s.
One of the stupidest of the stupid things in this thread is to assume that everyone finds the same things attractive. To take a photo of a couple, decide that YOU don't find the girl attractive (from a photo and nothing else about her) and therefore THE GUY IN THE PHOTO doesn't find her attractive and is "dating down" shows an astonishingly poor reasoning process.
The mere fact that some guys like girls and some guys like guys is enough to disprove there is some objective standard of attractiveness.
There was a crack about whether I date people less attractive than myself. No, I date people I find attractive. I know even amongst my gay friends that who we find attractive differs, and that it depends on both looks and personality. I also know that some people find ME attractive and some don't.
Just put away your scorecards and look for mutual attraction. Who gives a damn whether someone else thinks the same.
And Greg, one extra tip I'll give you is never, ever let any girl you like see the remarks you've made about the girl in the photo.
Quote from: orfeo on September 18, 2014, 07:29:40 PM
One of the stupidest of the stupid things in this thread is to assume that everyone finds the same things attractive. To take a photo of a couple, decide that YOU don't find the girl attractive (from a photo and nothing else about her) and therefore THE GUY IN THE PHOTO doesn't find her attractive and is "dating down" shows an astonishingly poor reasoning process.
There are commonalities to what men find attractive, and physical attractiveness is what most men overwhelmingly judge their mates by. Unless that guy is a chubby chaser, he's dating down.
Oh! This Thread is just dripping with the most viscous misandry. I'm never clicking on this Thread again!! >:D
PSYYYCH!!
[/glow]
Greg, don't let the manginas get you down!
As far as misogyny goes, There's Nothing I Don't Hate in A Women that She Didn't Learn from A Faux-Man
Howz dat?
To all the "haters" out there who might say what a woman wants or saying there is ... oh... that word... "HATE".... woah now daddy-o... are you saying you're dictating what equal IS?
Surely there are women who feel differently. SURELY there are. (cue Mennonite entrouge)
ok, Greg, go find yourself a nice Mennonite girl(is that what the chorus wants to hear?)
Anyhow, that would be my somewhat real advice to Greg- you must reject this sinful world to find a true woman
(are the haters liking this any better?)
Now, forgive me, but a TRUE Gay Man would most certainly know what a woman wants. I mean, honey,... seriously? Have you not HEARD?... (o- m- g)... what women want?? mm.. dearie, let big sis snippy snapper lay the dark velvet cheese on yo earlobe suga- issa called PowerSexSecurity- PSS... well, you know... (mm, that's right, you don't, mm)-
equality, like beauty, appears to be in the eye of the beholder- so the question remain- who is doing the beholding?
FEMINIST PRINCIPLE NO.17
"The Male Gaze"
Much has been made of what's known as 'The Male Gaze'- that look that only men, throughout history, have bestowed upon women of desire, 'The Look', 'Come Hither', 'I Want You to Want Me'- the look even desperate schmuck throughout all the discos of history has attempted to woo anyone who may be swayed. As the dominant Alpha personality in the mating game, the male has always been the sole possessor or this particular look- the leer- HA!- (yes, you're all guilty!!).
Can there be a feminist version of the 'Male Gaze', or is this a feature which just doesn't work the other way around? Can the feminist reclaim 'The Gaze' for herself? Can there be a 'Female Gaze'?
(Anyhow, you'll have to subscribe to my blog to read the rest of it. It's free for the first thirty days!)
Equal Is As Equal Does
I mean, I'm not the one who brought up the recent NFL fiascos, but, since you made me, I guess we'll have to go there. What? Those who are saying there's woman hate in this Thread, are you saying we sided with the Commissioner or something? Sounds like you're saying something like, "You like football so you must hit/hate women"? I mean, let's not be hyperbolic!!!
In this Western Culture, women have been afforded the greatest freedoms in all of history by the (bah bah bahhh) Halls of Liberty Fraternity and Egaliterie (bah bah baaaah), and have, actually, become equal with me. Yes, equal in stupidity, moral cowardice, and depravity. So, yes, "equal human beings" we all are on this godforsaken slab of steaming star dust. So, yes, I don't know what the problem was, there's all the equality in the world going on in this Thread. God only knows that concepts like misogyny and racism and classism and all that are division-type tactics that are promulgated by the State,... NOT this Thread!
Thank you!
NOW- ON TO GREG'S LOVE LIFE!!As my duty, I will tell you that by sheer divine intervention I arrived ten minutes after my flaming flame had left. Let me tell you, I couldn't believe I was having a niblet of a feeling- ohh, I missssed her :(... the one who said she had the 'complicated life'... oy- (are the haters reading?)- so, I'm just this sensitive little worm and if you poke me I just curl up like a ball to protect my quivering heart... ouch,... did you just have a feeling for the flame with the 'complicated life'?... (see Haters? did that have to be a man/woman thing? no, it wasn't... eeesh, you guys!)
So, Greg, I'm telling you that one could feel my flittering little heart turn a pancake when I heard that 'Complicated' had just left. waaaah,... here, feel my squishy and quivering insides as I lay bare before you... I'm 'the other woman'... oy- ack.... gag.... I'm just validating her whilst she goes through a sticky time with her lovvverrr... oh, shame (hand on forehead)...
hmm??
How did your night go? (don't let the haters get you down- gurrrls R meen!- waaah!!)
Also, the whole alpha male myth is one of THE most dangerous and revolting things in out culture, as revealed in the wake of the guy in California who killed his roommates and a number of other people because the world wasn't giving him what he was 'entitled' to. Never thought I'd see it here.
Quote from: -abe- on September 18, 2014, 07:35:26 PM
There are commonalities to what men find attractive, and physical attractiveness is what most men overwhelmingly judge their mates by. Unless that guy is a chubby chaser, he's dating down.
You're telling a gay guy there are commonalities? Seriously? The fact that you like breasts and I don't doesn't give you pause?
In Mauritania, they tend to like their women very large and curvy. They did in Europe a couple of centuries ago as well. Heck, in America in the 40s they liked curves. The idea that all men inherently like the same thing, as opposed to following current cultural and advertising trends like sheep, is demonstrably wrong.
Quote from: -abe- on September 18, 2014, 07:35:26 PM
There are commonalities to what men find attractive, and physical attractiveness is what most men overwhelmingly judge their mates by. Unless that guy is a chubby chaser, he's dating down.
Well Orfeo's objection is off base anyway. The effect you are positing, convincingly I think, is an empirical and statistical one. Take a largish sample of men and women of the relevant age groups and have them ranked by a largish sample of the opposite sex for attractiveness. Then examine the pairings, and those who are single. You predict a discrepancy between the rankings of those members in pairs.
Some tricky issues in the use of ordinal data but I think a valid test is possible.
(For completeness you would have to compare to a more sexually conservative culture or time, since you posit that as a cause.)
(As Abe notes as well, there are some well documented measures of attractiveness in western culture, such as facial symmetry, certain ratios etc. could rank on those .)
Quote from: snyprrr on September 18, 2014, 07:38:38 PM
NOW- ON TO GREG'S LOVE LIFE!!
At this point we can move past this...
Quote from: orfeo on September 18, 2014, 07:39:20 PM
Also, the whole alpha male myth is one of THE most dangerous and revolting things in out culture, as revealed in the wake of the guy in California who killed his roommates and a number of other people because the world wasn't giving him what he was 'entitled' to. Never thought I'd see it here.
I wish it were a myth that most women find what they deem "alpha males" more desirable.
Quote from: orfeo on September 18, 2014, 07:43:50 PM
You're telling a gay guy there are commonalities? Seriously? The fact that you like breasts and I don't doesn't give you pause?
In Mauritania, they tend to like their women very large and curvy. They did in Europe a couple of centuries ago as well. Heck, in America in the 40s they liked curves. The idea that all men inherently like the same thing, as opposed to following current cultural and advertising trends like sheep, is demonstrably wrong.
Curves are attractive. Obesity is not, and that "lady" is obese.
Quote from: orfeo on September 18, 2014, 07:43:50 PM
You're telling a gay guy there are commonalities? Seriously? The fact that you like breasts and I don't doesn't give you pause?
In Mauritania, they tend to like their women very large and curvy. They did in Europe a couple of centuries ago as well. Heck, in America in the 40s they liked curves. The idea that all men inherently like the same thing, as opposed to following current cultural and advertising trends like sheep, is demonstrably wrong.
His argument is statistical. "Sheep" show patterns. Your own comment refutes you.
His argument is also confined to one culture and one time, not 13th century Mongolia.
Quote from: -abe- on September 18, 2014, 07:35:26 PM
There are commonalities to what men find attractive, and physical attractiveness is what most men overwhelmingly judge their mates by. Unless that guy is a chubby chaser, he's dating down.
Or maybe she is smart. Or is a good cook. Or a good Christian. Or (being cynical, but I think it less offensive than Abe's misanthropy) she has a trust fund.
With every girl I dated or contemplated dating, physical charms were a welcome bonus but well down on the list of reasons I was interested.
Quote from: Jeffrey Smith on September 18, 2014, 07:52:31 PM
Or maybe she is smart. Or is a good cook. Or a good Christian. Or (being cynical, but I think it less offensive than Abe's misanthropy) she has a trust fund.
With every girl I dated or contemplated dating, physical charms were a welcome bonus but well down on the list of reasons I was interested.
That's true. I see the mistake we are making- overgeneralizing other men. Not to mention Abe's assertion about how guys are wired to be serial monogamists if they can be. Somewhat misandrist, we are... >:D
Quote from: orfeo on September 18, 2014, 07:39:20 PM
Also, the whole alpha male myth is one of THE most dangerous and revolting things in out culture,
What myth is this?
Quote from: Ken B on September 18, 2014, 08:03:04 PM
What myth is this?
Probably the "myth" that this is not how it really is:
https://www.youtube.com/v/yTO6fAJf1GM
:D
Quote from: orfeo on September 18, 2014, 07:29:40 PM
One of the stupidest of the stupid things in this thread is to assume that everyone finds the same things attractive. To take a photo of a couple, decide that YOU don't find the girl attractive (from a photo and nothing else about her) and therefore THE GUY IN THE PHOTO doesn't find her attractive and is "dating down" shows an astonishingly poor reasoning process.
The mere fact that some guys like girls and some guys like guys is enough to disprove there is some objective standard of attractiveness.
There was a crack about whether I date people less attractive than myself. No, I date people I find attractive. I know even amongst my gay friends that who we find attractive differs, and that it depends on both looks and personality. I also know that some people find ME attractive and some don't.
Just put away your scorecards and look for mutual attraction. Who gives a damn whether someone else thinks the same.
And Greg, one extra tip I'll give you is never, ever let any girl you like see the remarks you've made about the girl in the photo.
He would raaather she not have three guts. I'm sure he "likes" her though.
Question: Do you Gay Men think she's pretty? (just man up and answer please!) I'm going to assume for the argument's sake that you said yes, and yes, Science Agrees, the girl has a "pretty face" and "nice eyes" and a "pretty smile". She's also "fat".
Frankly, I'd like nothing better than to turn the table on the Gay Men here. I believe they are hiding behind their keyboards- I want to troll them out into the open and declare the fact Gay Men's stereotypical traits of extreme vanity may not be in vain. When we get such answers where people are talking 'attractiveness' we know something is being hid. That men would gaze upon men the way they gaze upon women indicates a level of... of... mm... how to say??... mm...
"Would you let thaaat fuck you honey?"I guess the ole Gay Men have never been desperate - soooo desperate, that you'd ever >:D have >:D to >:D stoop >:D so >:D low >:D. I mean, I haaave heard the guys are horney, so, I could kind of see why Gay Men might not understand the Male Desperation Syndrome, and the curt language that sometimes accompanies it.
Apparently, Greg, there is one benefit for the Gay Man- he WILL get Laid Big Time- no worries here mate! ;) Apparently, our friends have found the perfect solution for you!! Go get 'em tiger!!
(you guys are good, tee hee!!)
Quote from: orfeo on September 18, 2014, 07:39:20 PM
Also, the whole alpha male myth is one of THE most dangerous and revolting things in out culture, as revealed in the wake of the guy in California who killed his roommates and a number of other people because the world wasn't giving him what he was 'entitled' to. Never thought I'd see it here.
wah wah- coddled psychotropic prissy boy who was obvious a Gay Man inside his beating heart does not make a good counter argument. It is the haters who have brought the women hate to this Thread (because they want Greg for themselves!!).
We love women and are saddened to see how the culture has turned against them.
I see you guys lurking! ;)
A few observations:
1. If you're having some trouble getting women, stop making excuses by reading articles/books, blaming females or other guys. Look to yourself.
2. Women are not alien creatures; they're a lot like guys, so always emphasize the similarities.
3. Movies make for a great first date. You can hear her breathe, smell her essence and even whisper in her ear. By the time the movie is over, you'll know if you want to see her again.
4. Be it God or Mother Nature, the getting together of a man and woman is totally natural. Don't fret the lack of success, because the odds are in your favor.
5. Don't be a phony. Do be confident and proud of yourself.
6. STOP WORRYING about it. Just get out there and go for who you want.
7. Make sure you don't spend most of your waking hours without women in the vicinity. You can't date them if you can't meet them.
Quote from: Greg on September 18, 2014, 04:03:11 PM
...Couple? I see a man and a giant pufferfish. This is a fishing photo, not a couple's photo. ...Looks are an extremely important part of dating, though not everything. If I hated everything about an extremely attractive girl, I wouldn't ask them out. Of course, women are equal human beings, but that pufferfish that people for some reason think is a woman is not equal in terms of looks to that guy. A female with a great personality I'll gladly befriend. But if they are shaped like a pufferfish, I'll be too grossed out to even want to touch them.
That, friend Greg, is part of your problem.
Quote from: Sammy on September 18, 2014, 09:51:28 PM
7. Make sure you don't spend most of your waking hours without women in the vicinity. You can't date them if you can't meet them.
Yeah... that's the only part of online classes that sucks. 30-40 hours a week at home, alone, doing homework because the nearest university is too far and expensive to drive to.
Quote from: jochanaan on September 19, 2014, 08:17:24 AM
That, friend Greg, is part of your problem.
I don't think so, because even if I liked that, I've noticed that most overweight/obese women are already taken as well. There's an obese man for every obese woman out there, no need to disrupt the order.
Quote from: jochanaan on September 19, 2014, 08:17:24 AM
That, friend Greg, is part of your problem.
Well, I had missed that post of
Greg's.
Unfortunately, it's no good wishing that I might have gone on missing it.
Quote from: Greg on September 19, 2014, 08:29:23 AM
I don't think so, because even if I liked that, I've noticed that most overweight/obese women are already taken as well. There's an obese man for every obese woman out there, no need to disrupt the order.
You've entirely missed
jo's point.
And I wish I could say that I was surprised that you missed it.
Is it because I was acting mean? :D
I don't normally say stuff like that, but when I do, it's only in a situation where I know the person will never hear it. I don't like crushing people's feelings.
Maybe there are overweight people here who read it.
Another aspect is: Say there's a bigot, but he draws the line at saying aloud what he thinks.
The problem remains what he thinks.
Quote from: karlhenning on September 19, 2014, 08:36:29 AM
The problem remains what he thinks.
I'd question whether they hide it as well as they think they do. Some people are good at it, but most are not.
This thread has taken a turn to the sad side for me.
Quote from: mc ukrneal on September 19, 2014, 08:37:56 AM
I'd question whether they hide it as well as they think they do. Some people are good at it, but most are not.
This thread has taken a turn to the sad side for me.
Indeed.
Quote from: karlhenning on September 19, 2014, 08:36:29 AM
Maybe there are overweight people here who read it.
True. Didn't think of that, sorry to anyone I may have indirectly ridiculed.
Quote from: karlhenning on September 19, 2014, 08:36:29 AM
Maybe there are overweight people here who read it.
Another aspect is: Say there's a bigot, but he draws the line at saying aloud what he thinks.
The problem remains what he thinks.
Arrest Him for Thought Crimes ::)
I would like to point out that it is the Scientific Community that came up with the guidelines for 'Morbidly Obese'. MORBIDLY so...
When I was getting married, right after, the guy's wife turns to my new wife and says, "Now, be sure to KEEP YOUR FIGURE!" 'Cause, donchakno- that IS what was important!!
You know, if people get bent out of shape they can go cut long gashes into their wrists- DID I INVENT THE "FATKINI"??? NOOOOOO!!! The morbidly obese did.
STOP EATING THE LECITHAN!!!!!
Quote from: Greg on September 19, 2014, 08:43:13 AM
True. Didn't think of that, sorry to anyone I may have indirectly ridiculed.
Greg, I'm starting to get that NO ONE ON THIS FORUM has had sex in a decade or more (except the Gay Men of course).
Really? Are you so afraid of hurting the feelings of the morbidly obese? It seems as if this group here wants you to respects someone's addiction to Chee-tos. Hell, they call alcoholism a Disease. Why isn't Overeating a Disease too?? Oh, well LOOK- it IS!!!
How many of you freakazoids have ever been to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting, huh?? I HAVE- guess what??? THERE'S RAIL THIN PEOPLE THERE TOO!!!!!!
Greg- they are f****** with your head here.
Getting back to Miss Pufferfish- can't you just SEE that a generation ago this young girl would have been thin- she's already got a pretty face, nice breasts, nice natural proportions- WHAT HAPPENED???
IT'S THE FOOD- as much as Karl likes to joke about it, today's intake of garbage food has destroyed the figure of the American Woman. So, if anything, we don't criticize someone for being fat, we criticize their foolish desire to feel good through sugar- IT'S AN ADDICTION.
And it totally effects the way you feel about yourself- the girl in the photo is all smiles there, but you don't think she looks in the mirror and sees a horror show?? WHAT??? You think she's PROUD of that inglorious heap of a muffin top????? WHAT??? "You go girl"?????\
I think not.
\
Oh- I know------- it's your "thyroid"..... yea, sure it is
I see what you're putting in your cart at the store---- SODA SODA SODA CHIPS CHIPS CHIPS COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES FROZENFOOD FROZENFOOD FROZENFOOD BEER BEER BEER
endless fat calories
endless
Have you noticed how the word "
shaming" has become the new 'racist' 'antisemite' 'sexist'????? THERE'S NO SHAME IN THIS SOCIETY ANYMORE
LET IT ALL ALL ALL
HANG OUT.
A generation ago, Miss Pufferfish's mother would have shamed her daughter for looking like a dump--- now we're supposed to 'celebrate' her victory over 'mean comments'. You simpering weenies have destroyed any sense of personal responsibility in your quest to have your own piccadillos accepted, whatever they are.
It's funny how people are looking at that picture and ASSUMING so much. As if you think that guy doesn't want his girl to lose the gut.
Dear Men and Women,
LOSE THE GUT!!
Nobody likes it, not even you (even if you DO call it your "tool shed").
And most certainly we know this difference between "corn fed Midwestern farmer's daughter" and "morbidly obese". So do you- quit pretending like you don't.
You all should come with me to an Overeaters Anonymous meeting sometime... then we can talk. Sugar is a horrible drug- you're a junkie. Period.
You don't lift a finger- I'm not going to be nice to a loafer. Lose the gut.
Quote from: Greg on September 19, 2014, 08:43:13 AM
True. Didn't think of that, sorry to anyone I may have indirectly ridiculed.
don't let them force humility on you---- no one wants to lift a gut to get to the garden--- NO ONE (not even the ones on here kvetching).
The Coddled Generation
"We're just victims, boo hoo"
LOOK- I APOLOGIZE for my seeming "devil's advocate for bigotry", but I think most of you are LYING to this Thread. The possibility that you all are guilty of what you accuse others of is too great. The Ugly Truth is called that for a reason?
I'd love to know who you "find" attractive. (usually something that happens with... the EYES!!!!!!)
"Oh yes, I could tell you were 'interesting' from across the room."
The kvetchers are in denial that they are probably the PICKIEST of all!! no? really?
... goes to unearth some Foucoult...
Quote from: snyprrr on September 19, 2014, 10:00:13 AM
STOP EATING THE [LECITHIN]!!!!!
I am in compliance.
Quote from: snyprrr on September 19, 2014, 10:00:13 AM
IT'S THE FOOD- as much as Karl likes to joke about it, today's intake of garbage food has destroyed the figure of the average American Woman.
As emended, you have a point.
And I never joke about garbage food.
Well, hardly ever.
Quote from: snyprrr on September 19, 2014, 10:00:13 AM
today's intake of garbage food has destroyed the figure of the American Woman.
That's the advantage of, say, Japanese women. ;)
I should probably mention my friend, who I'm going to be seeing more often now that I've switched gyms. Within a year, he goes from being obese to being buff and having low body fat. This is a two step process, too, meaning he lost the weight in about 6 months and gained muscles in another 6 months. The transformation was amazing as I saw it happen. He went to the gym right after he divorced his wife, who was/still is obese (and had an irritating personality at that) and he ended up dating a girl that is waaaaaaaaaay more attractive for a while once he transformed.
This guy would be the first one to make fun of people for their weight (though not in a completely mean spirited way, but mainly to motivate and encourage). But he really had to sacrifice his free time to achieve the results. There really should be no reason for being overweight other than genuine thyroid issues or a severe lack of time.
Quote from: Greg on September 19, 2014, 10:52:01 AM
This guy would be the first one to make fun of people for their weight (though not in a completely mean spirited way, but mainly to motivate and encourage).
But this is idiocy, or meanness, or some blend. Mockery is
lousy motivation; and how much beer does a guy have to drink before he imagines that mockery is "encouragement"?
Will that work with music? If we mock your composition or your playing, will that motivate/encourage you to write better, to practice more?
I neglected to say that I don't necessarily agree with that type of "motivation." Sometimes it can be effective, but I don't think it's the best way to go about things.
Quote from: Greg on September 19, 2014, 11:07:04 AM
I neglected to say that I don't necessarily agree with that type of "motivation." Sometimes it can be effective, but I don't think it's the best way to go about things.
Actually, it is bullying, no matter what the intention.
Greg, I think in a few years time, you'll recognize much of the stuff you said here to be embarrassingly immature. Which I hope I say without any ill will: you are young enough that the same could be said of much of what people your age say.
As a practical matter (as much as practical advice is worth from an aspie who never allowed himself to get entangled in any serious relationship), severely cut back on the video games, and replace it with an activity involves mixing with members of the opposite sex. (I don't mean bar hopping.) Don't go looking for romance, or even quick sexual encounters. Go looking for dealing with women. The romance will come at its own pace once you start there.
And, this is from a guy who is posting his photo and asking people what they think of his photo.
Can you imagine, Greg, if we'd responded to your photo the way you've responded to this woman's photo? Can you imagine if women are out there responding to your photo the way you did?
It's not just the fact that you dislike that woman's appearance. It's the fact that you went so far as to declare she's not a woman at all. You better damn well hope that the women out there aren't sneering at your image and declaring that because you're not a musclebound gym hunk falling out of his tank top but a classical music nerd, you're no man at all.
As I've mentioned, I'm gay. I can, if you like, deliver a critique of your appearance, and it won't be pretty, but you don't really need me for that because people have already told you it's not that great a photo. Up until now I've just been delivering a critique of your mind, and given how THAT'S going, I'm beginning to wonder just what it is you think you offer a prospective date.
Quote from: Sammy on September 18, 2014, 09:51:28 PM
A few observations:
1. If you're having some trouble getting women, stop making excuses by reading articles/books, blaming females or other guys. Look to yourself.
2. Women are not alien creatures; they're a lot like guys, so always emphasize the similarities.
3. Movies make for a great first date. You can hear her breathe, smell her essence and even whisper in her ear. By the time the movie is over, you'll know if you want to see her again.
4. Be it God or Mother Nature, the getting together of a man and woman is totally natural. Don't fret the lack of success, because the odds are in your favor.
5. Don't be a phony. Do be confident and proud of yourself.
6. STOP WORRYING about it. Just get out there and go for who you want.
7. Make sure you don't spend most of your waking hours without women in the vicinity. You can't date them if you can't meet them.
All excellent points, Sammy. Thanks for your post my friend. I've gained a lot more confidence in the last couple of years and reading posts like this really helps me out.
I, too, think this thread has taken a wrong turn and wish it would return to its' purpose: Greg finding a woman.
Quote from: karlhenning on September 19, 2014, 10:58:51 AM
But this is idiocy, or meanness, or some blend. Mockery is lousy motivation; and how much beer does a guy have to drink before he imagines that mockery is "encouragement"?
Will that work with music? If we mock your composition or your playing, will that motivate/encourage you to write better, to practice more?
Your music sounds like it was written for nostalgic squirrels!!!!!!!!
Quote from: orfeo on September 19, 2014, 04:06:27 PM
And, this is from a guy who is posting his photo and asking people what they think of his photo.
Can you imagine, Greg, if we'd responded to your photo the way you've responded to this woman's photo? Can you imagine if women are out there responding to your photo the way you did?
Well, if I looked like a pufferfish, I obviously don't take care of myself and maybe I'm deserve it (excepting certain scenarios, previously mentioned).
Quote from: orfeo on September 19, 2014, 04:06:27 PM
It's not just the fact that you dislike that woman's appearance. It's the fact that you went so far as to declare she's not a woman at all.
Heh heh. Oh. well.
Quote from: orfeo on September 19, 2014, 04:06:27 PM
As I've mentioned, I'm gay. I can, if you like, deliver a critique of your appearance, and it won't be pretty, but you don't really need me for that because people have already told you it's not that great a photo. Up until now I've just been delivering a critique of your mind, and given how THAT'S going, I'm beginning to wonder just what it is you think you offer a prospective date.
Awww, you just wanna see me without my shirt on. Sorry, but you gotta pay the big bucks first. ;)
Quote from: orfeo on September 19, 2014, 04:06:27 PM
You better damn well hope that the women out there aren't sneering at your image and declaring that because you're not a musclebound gym hunk falling out of his tank top but a classical music nerd, you're no man at all.
Oh, so one can't be both? Hmmm....
He still doesn't get it, folks.
My second wife and her best girlfriend had a phrase. "Ugliness tolerance point". It's silly to pretend looks and attraction don't matter, but as long as someone is above your UTP, that should be enough.
Quote from: Ken B on September 19, 2014, 07:44:01 PM
My second wife and her best girlfriend had a phrase. "Ugliness tolerance point". It's silly to pretend looks and attraction don't matter, but as long as someone is above your UTP, that should be enough.
Lol, exactly.
Of course looks matter. But there's a world of difference between trying to date people you find attractive, and finding it amusing to denigrate the appearance of another human being at the same time as asking other people to find YOU attractive.
If you want women to treat you as an interesting, complex, human being, then you're going to have to learn to treat them as interesting, complex, human beings. Instead of sounding like you walked out of this article: http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html
Oh, and if you want to find out what people REALLY want, you could do worse than reading here: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/07/07/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male/
Quote from: Ken B on September 19, 2014, 06:06:50 PM
Your music sounds like it was written for nostalgic squirrels!!!!!!!!
And a grateful squirrel nation thanks me!
Quote from: Greg on September 19, 2014, 08:24:00 PM
Lol, exactly.
soooo.... HER BOYFRIEND SHOWED UP LAST NIGHT :(
Thankfully I didn't have my arm around hjer at the moment, so I just looked like someone sitting there-
he's a drunkard- looks like Matthew Broderick (that really pissed me off--- actually he looked like "dickless" from 'Ghostbusters, haha!!)
boy, I tell ya- that really sucked
NOW BEFORE YOU ALL castigate me about "what? she has a boyfriend?"- it's "COMPLICATED" apparently---- all that means is that I go home more miserable than when I got there...
Now, Greg, I've DAILY working or YOUR love life here by putting myself in these positions--- I don't feel like you're living up to your end--- how many girls did you get rejected by yesterday????
Now I'm off to play a NOON GIG___--- oy- who wants to play at NOON????? at least it's at the beautiful fairgrounds....
Quote from: orfeo on September 19, 2014, 09:01:39 PM
Of course looks matter. But there's a world of difference between trying to date people you find attractive, and finding it amusing to denigrate the appearance of another human being at the same time as asking other people to find YOU attractive.
I only asked (and this was months ago) earlier in the thread if the photo looked bad or not.
And like I said, I wouldn't say that to that lady's face. Everyone laughs at people behind their back every now and then. When we aren't in her vicinity, my friend and I laugh at a lady we work with who seems like "a robot desperately trying to imitate human behavior and failing." That's actually meaner, because you can't change your personality quite so easily, but that lady in the picture CHOSE to look that way, most likely. And what irritates me is the context of that picture, whether it is true or not, that she can sit on the couch and eat twinkies all day while her husband/boyfriend takes care of his body. It seemed to imply that she is just okay with looking that way and must be accepted. Sure, have a heart attack at age 40, sounds good.
Quote from: orfeo on September 19, 2014, 09:01:39 PM
If you want women to treat you as an interesting, complex, human being, then you're going to have to learn to treat them as interesting, complex, human beings. Instead of sounding like you walked out of this article: http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html
And I don't treat them that way? Sure... ;D
I think most of us can see the difference between reality and Hollywood, unlike how the article implies.
Quote from: orfeo on September 19, 2014, 09:01:39 PM
Oh, and if you want to find out what people REALLY want, you could do worse than reading here: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/07/07/the-myth-of-the-alpha-male/
This doesn't exactly conflict with some of the ideas I've read before about what constitutes an "alpha male," especially the "prestigious" characteristics.
(http://www.fairfaxunderground.com/forum/file.php?40,file=99134,filename=fat_man_beautiful_wife.jpg)
I'd guess that this dude has an interesting personality and that's why this lady loves him. His weight is just fine. He is beautiful on the inside.
Quote from: Greg on September 20, 2014, 07:37:39 AM
And like I said, I wouldn't say that to that lady's face. Everyone laughs at people behind their back every now and then. When we aren't in her vicinity, my friend and I laugh at a lady we work with who seems like "a robot desperately trying to imitate human behavior and failing." That's actually meaner, because you can't change your personality quite so easily, but that lady in the picture CHOSE to look that way, most likely.
Good guess.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2321812/Tammy-Jung-23-feeds-5000-calories-day-funnel-hope-obese-internet-star.html
Quote from: Greg on September 20, 2014, 07:37:39 AM
... that lady in the picture CHOSE to look that way, most likely....
No, most likely she didn't. Obesity is a complex issue, much more so than simple will power, getting into genetics and psychology. And many psychoactive drugs actually cause major weight gain...
Quote from: jochanaan on September 20, 2014, 02:05:12 PM
No, most likely she didn't. Obesity is a complex issue, much more so than simple will power, getting into genetics and psychology. And many psychoactive drugs actually cause major weight gain...
The missing link (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2321812/Tammy-Jung-23-feeds-5000-calories-day-funnel-hope-obese-internet-star.html) provided in
abe's previous post.
But yeah, most obese people aren't so because they want to be.
Quote from: Greg on September 20, 2014, 07:37:39 AM
Everyone laughs at people behind their back every now and then.
You just keep telling yourself that, kid. I'm sure it makes you feel better.
That's how one rationalizes that which is contemptible in his own character: "Everybody does it."
Quote from: karlhenning on September 20, 2014, 04:36:11 PM
That's how one everyone rationalizes that which is contemptible in his own character: "Everybody does it."
FTFY
;)
Quote from: orfeo on September 20, 2014, 04:23:16 PM
You just keep telling yourself that, kid. I'm sure it makes you feel better.
OK then. How do
you talk about Sarah Palin?
Quote from: Ken B on September 20, 2014, 06:10:17 PM
OK then. How do you talk about Sarah Palin?
Exactly. And Saul Dzorevashvili?
Now that I read the article, she does indeed deserve every bit of ridicule she gets. If someone is trying to lose weight, I'm going to cheer them on. That lady isn't. And I don't have a problem with anyone who is overweight, just people who are morbidly obese because at a certain point, you can tell one just isn't trying at all. I can think of exceptions, but they are rare (for example, Shawn Lane took medication that led him to be morbidly obese, sadly leading to his death).
Quote from: Ken B on September 20, 2014, 06:10:17 PM
OK then. How do you talk about Sarah Palin?
Why would I talk about her
at all?
Quote from: orfeo on September 20, 2014, 06:43:20 PM
Why would I talk about her at all?
Ok then Orfeo, you can tell me you are always respectful of everyone you don't like, and never sneer at Jerry Falwell or Fred Phelps, or mock those who preach homosexuality is a disease and I'll believe you.
Quote from: Ken B on September 20, 2014, 07:26:55 PM
Ok then Orfeo, you can tell me you are always respectful of everyone you don't like, and never sneer at Jerry Falwell or Fred Phelps, or mock those who preach homosexuality is a disease and I'll believe you.
Oh I'll criticise the hell out of them. I'll do it with fiery passion. I'll dismiss them as idiots. I'll mock their IDEAS.
But no, I won't engage in the kind of cheap mockery that says another human being isn't really human because I don't find them physically attractive.
And neither, frankly, will lots of other people. Greg might hang out with a whole lot of other people that learnt their ethics in an American high school culture which, if the TV shows are any guide, is built around looking a certain way, being as cruel to any outsider as possible and getting yourself ahead by dragging down absolutely anyone you can, but that's not the culture everywhere. Surface charm is valued more highly in the USA than just about anywhere else (land of the beauty pageant, an event that the vast majority of Australians view with a weird repulsion), so it's no real surprise that lacking in surface charm is an offence that leads to you being excluded from the human race, but that doesn't mean that everyone everywhere thinks a woman is only of value if she looks pretty on your arm.*
This thread has been a real eye-opener. I'd read about the sort of conversations on reddit. I'd read things like that Cracked article and dozens of others that show the reaction women get when they dare to have minds of their own. I'd noticed how Classical record companies drape their young female stars over the CD covers, and the kind of reaction that would sometimes get on this forum.** On another forum I'm involved in I've seen some very thought-provoking commentary by women about how society works for them. I've sometimes overheard nasty and derogatory comments.
But I've never before been engaged directly in conversation with people who not only thought it was okay to take a pot-shot at another human being just because of how they looked (not their philosophies or politics, just looks), but found it thoroughly amusing to do so and kept defending their position, relentlessly, when other posters (not just me, but a considerable number of other posters whose comments I would equally support) expressed their dismay at what was being said. There's been no backdown. There's been an endless series of self-justifications about why it was okay to take a photo of a random innocent human being and mock her as something less than human.
If I bothered to talk about Sarah Palin, it would be because I think her political ideas are bad in exactly the same way that I think many of her male Republican colleagues have bad political ideas. It wouldn't be because I'd decided the way to deal with a woman is to mock her appearance or try to make her a figure of fun.
* This is a critique of certain aspects of American culture, not of all individual Americans. I know of Americans who dislike these same aspects of American culture more strongly than I do. There are aspects of Australian culture that drive me crazy.
**The notion that there are no female classical music fans is amusing. Apparently, the only females involved in classical music are the ones that have recording contracts?
It was mean to say that random lady looked like a pufferfish. Okay, you can sleep now.
Great post, orfeo and I agree 100% with you.
Now, let me throw my own two cents into the fountain....
Looks are subjective from person to person. We all know this and we also all know that we can't help whom we're attracted to but I don't think it's anyone's right to put down someone because he/she objects to the way they look. You don't have to date anyone you're not attracted to, Greg, but this doesn't give you the right to put them down just because you find them physically not to your liking. I mean there's no reason to be cruel and unkind. Obesity is a disease that's difficult to overcome and can't simply be dealt with right away. It takes some people a long time to lose weight and some people never do because of something that's going on with them medically. I don't think it's anyone's business to say anything to these people as I'm sure their self-esteem is already low because of perhaps their inability to lose weight and the looks they get from people. Put yourself in these people's shoes, Greg. It's one thing to joke around but anything that goes beyond the jokes is uncalled for and inhumane.
I'm just wondering if there would be the same level of outrage if I called Bill Gates a turtle, Sam Cassell an alien, George W. Bush a marsupial, for example. (None of those are my words).
Well here's 25 people being insulted. Enjoy!
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/596423-sam-cassell-and-the-25-ugliest-players-in-nba-history
My advice is to watch a few episodes of South Park and loosen up, orfeo. Yeah, that list is mean, but likely (well, hopefully) they'll never read it. It is kinda pushing the envelope of what I'd accept because the site is so popular. And do you feel the same level of outrage reading the list or 25 times the amount of outrage?
Reposting a previous post because the picture wasn't showing:
Quote from: Greg on September 20, 2014, 07:57:58 AM
(http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii99/paul200_photo/6853_large.jpg)
I'd guess that this dude has an interesting personality and that's why this lady loves him. His weight is just fine. He is beautiful on the inside.
So am I not allowed to say that this guy looks like a frog? I remember once Saul Dzorevashvili said I looked like a squirrel. Well, who cares!
If it is only obesity that I'm not allowed to make fun of, then it's only the most changeable aspect of one's appearance I'm not allowed to make fun of? Okay...
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 20, 2014, 08:36:13 PM
Great post, orfeo and I agree 100% with you.
Now, let me throw my own two cents into the fountain....
Looks are subjective from person to person. We all know this and we also all know that we can't help whom we're attracted to but I don't think it's anyone's right to put down someone because he/she objects to the way they look. You don't have to date anyone you're not attracted to, Greg, but this doesn't give you the right to put them down just because you find them physically not to your liking. I mean there's no reason to be cruel and unkind. Obesity is a disease that's difficult to overcome and can't simply be dealt with right away. It takes some people a long time to lose weight and some people never do because of something that's going on with them medically. I don't think it's anyone's business to say anything to these people as I'm sure their self-esteem is already low because of perhaps their inability to lose weight and the looks they get from people. Put yourself in these people's shoes, Greg. It's one thing to joke around but anything that goes beyond the jokes is uncalled for and inhumane.
If the lady in the picture had a medical issue I would take it back. But she just sits down and intentionally eats all day- she is naturally thin but chose to be that weight. Seriously, if I did nothing but eat all day and gain twice my weight, I wouldn't deserve some sort of insult?
Quote from: Greg on September 21, 2014, 05:21:52 AM
My advice is to watch a few episodes of South Park and loosen up, orfeo.
Hilariously, I just have.** It involved Wendy trying to get everyone to stop obsessing over their looks and accept that how they looked was okay instead of Photoshopping everything.
(** It's also hilarious that you're directing comments towards me when I hadn't posted anything since your last comment. Guess I hit a nerve, huh?)
Wow, THAT piece of advice backfired on you, didn't it? And you're STILL trying to justify your existence as a vicious cruel bastard by asking which targets we'll allow you to fire your complete lack of intelligent wit towards. Because that's all you have, it seems. You can't find another way to deal with people you don't like.
Sure, Greg, you're allowed to call people frogs or squirrels or pufferfish or whatever you want. And we're allowed to think you're a douchebag for doing so. Almost every post you've made in the last few pages has made me have a little more contempt for your morality.
You know what, Greg? I'm sure you'll find a girl one day. One who looks nice to you. The thing is, she'll probably be deeply insecure and completely terrified that you'll leave her, because sooner or later she'll manage to hear that she only has value to you while she stays pretty.
And looks fade, Greg. Character, though, can last a long time. Maybe you'll change, or maybe you'll just turn into one of the other couple of posters on this thread who were odiously telling you how to think about women. Snyprrr has previously shown himself to be a raging homophobe, so I wasn't really surprised when he added sexism and racism to the list during this thread. You can grow up to be snyprrr if you want. Your choice.
I started off my participation in this thread by saying that I thought a movie date was a good idea, because you could in fact go for a coffee or drink afterwards and use the movie as a conversation starter.
Now I'm going to say a movie is a great idea for a date for you, Greg, but just the movie. Someone else (Mirror Image I think?) had suggested a movie was a poor date because there wasn't really a chance to talk. I think your chances are best if you don't open your mouth.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got other things to do with my life, like wash away the stench of the view of humanity you've been subjecting me to. Byeeee.
Quote from: orfeo on September 21, 2014, 05:44:53 AM
And you're STILL trying to justify your existence as a vicious cruel bastard
Mmhm, that's exactly what I've always been known as.
You take it to that level because I say something negative about one person, who deserves it, and blow it way out of proportion.
Quote from: orfeo on September 21, 2014, 05:44:53 AM
Hilariously, I just have.** It involved Wendy trying to get everyone to stop obsessing over their looks and accept that how they looked was okay instead of Photoshopping everything.
No disagreement about that episode here.
Quote from: orfeo on September 20, 2014, 07:51:43 PM
Oh I'll criticise the hell out of them. I'll do it with fiery passion. I'll dismiss them as idiots. I'll mock their IDEAS.
But no, I won't engage in the kind of cheap mockery that says another human being isn't really human because I don't find them physically attractive.
And neither, frankly, will lots of other people. Greg might hang out with a whole lot of other people that learnt their ethics in an American high school culture which, if the TV shows are any guide, is built around looking a certain way, being as cruel to any outsider as possible and getting yourself ahead by dragging down absolutely anyone you can, but that's not the culture everywhere. Surface charm is valued more highly in the USA than just about anywhere else (land of the beauty pageant, an event that the vast majority of Australians view with a weird repulsion), so it's no real surprise that lacking in surface charm is an offence that leads to you being excluded from the human race, but that doesn't mean that everyone everywhere thinks a woman is only of value if she looks pretty on your arm.*
This thread has been a real eye-opener. I'd read about the sort of conversations on reddit. I'd read things like that Cracked article and dozens of others that show the reaction women get when they dare to have minds of their own. I'd noticed how Classical record companies drape their young female stars over the CD covers, and the kind of reaction that would sometimes get on this forum.** On another forum I'm involved in I've seen some very thought-provoking commentary by women about how society works for them. I've sometimes overheard nasty and derogatory comments.
But I've never before been engaged directly in conversation with people who not only thought it was okay to take a pot-shot at another human being just because of how they looked (not their philosophies or politics, just looks), but found it thoroughly amusing to do so and kept defending their position, relentlessly, when other posters (not just me, but a considerable number of other posters whose comments I would equally support) expressed their dismay at what was being said. There's been no backdown. There's been an endless series of self-justifications about why it was okay to take a photo of a random innocent human being and mock her as something less than human.
If I bothered to talk about Sarah Palin, it would be because I think her political ideas are bad in exactly the same way that I think many of her male Republican colleagues have bad political ideas. It wouldn't be because I'd decided the way to deal with a woman is to mock her appearance or try to make her a figure of fun.
* This is a critique of certain aspects of American culture, not of all individual Americans. I know of Americans who dislike these same aspects of American culture more strongly than I do. There are aspects of Australian culture that drive me crazy.
**The notion that there are no female classical music fans is amusing. Apparently, the only females involved in classical music are the ones that have recording contracts?
No. Morbid obesity IS a philosophy---
ffs- "gluttony" USED to be one of the Seven Deadly Sins, now it's just a tiny, small little part of these peoples' otherwise full and dynamic lifestyles.? you go girl ::)
Fat IS an "Idea"---- one that apparently MANIFESTS!!
Fat is a whole lot of depression, overcompensating, misery--- do the owners thereof actually WANT it??? You're acting like it's a Virtue. It's apparently a drain on society.
JOHN HAGEE- the Zionist Christian firebrand is shaped like a big blueberry. Do you think HE THINKS he is partaking in the Sin of Gluttony? Falwell? Or a hundred thousand other professing Believers? The "Prosperity" Gospel??? pleeez
The IDEA that they think they can get away with preaching whilst being a Sinful Glutton is a startling one, no???
NO ONE SAID the fattie (and yes, SHAME on you fattie!!)
WASN'T HUMAN,- oh how you Fascists love to go to extremes- all any of the participants said was they would rather not Make Sweet Love to someone trapped in a flab suit. "Lose the Weight, Then I'll Marry You"
Got it?
"Lose the Weight, Then I'll Marry You" (you're a sweety and I love you, mwah!!)
You eat. A lot. You're massively overweight. Why???? What IDEA is forcing gobs of garbage junk food in your mouth??? IDEAS IN YOUR HEAD, THAT'S WHAT.
You act like all of the Morbidly Obese are the Absolute Best People on the Planet. Sure, that's why every leader of every country is... uh.... fit? What's the percentage of our Great Men Throughout History who were Morbidly Obese?
You act like someone losing a few is a Sin?
Personal Responsibility much?
You guys exhibit as much hate, or more, than you accuse the accused of. Maybe we should talk Hate instead of Fat?
snyprrr: I love my fat friend, but I'm not attracted to her- my friend is a dear human being to me - but Mr. Happy just reads the newspaper around her.
STOP TRYING TO FORCE MR. HAPPY TO LIKE SOMEONE HE DOESN'T LIKE.
Quote from: Greg on September 21, 2014, 05:21:52 AM
I'm just wondering if there would be the same level of outrage if I called Bill Gates a turtle, Sam Cassell an alien, George W. Bush a marsupial, for example. (None of those are my words).
Well here's 25 people being insulted. Enjoy!
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/596423-sam-cassell-and-the-25-ugliest-players-in-nba-history
My advice is to watch a few episodes of South Park and loosen up, orfeo. Yeah, that list is mean, but likely (well, hopefully) they'll never read it. It is kinda pushing the envelope of what I'd accept because the site is so popular. And do you feel the same level of outrage reading the list or 25 times the amount of outrage?
Greg, they're trying to shame your penis into liking someone he doesn't like.
If I've sized you up correctly, Greg, you're a "regular guy who likes girls"--- the fact is, we don't know WHO/WHAT most of our other friends here are into- I can practically hear the seething hate for a "regular guy" whose dick likes "attractive women". Judging by their vitriol, they don't even seem to find women attractive in the least ("I don't like breasts- ewww"), so, wtf - are we supposed to take our cues from people who find the mere CONCEPT of a vagina disgusting?
lolz- these guys must reeeally hate that old saying-
YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.Fuck- didn't those old timey people really know how to get to the heart of the matter? Fact is, all the fat out there today is made out of the worst stuff on earth, packaged into consumerist orgy of sugar and soy and salt and shit.
SUGAR and SOY and SALT and SHIT - oh my!
SUGAR and SOY and SALT and SHIT- oh my!
We've been feminized beyond belief. Women are not gods or victims.
They want to try to shame you for not holding their socialist/feminist views. I know your dick won't buckle (mind of its own), but will you???
sorry- the "I've heard of this but now I've seen it for myself" schtick was hilarious- yes- lighten up- do some pushups
I'm not DEFENDING views- corporal fattiness of the
unhealthy kind has always been a horror. If you're defending--- what?--- what is it you're defending? A person's right to totally ruin themselves???
Maybe Greg just saw the unhealthiness in that poor dear sweet girl?
I don't know, maybe she's just a slob?? Could you haters actually handle it if she was a horrible person with a pretty smile? You flippers don't know if she's nice or not. Maybe she's an angel, maybe she's a devil. You're ASSUMING as much as you think the accused is.
We can tell an overactive thyroid from a Chee-to addiction
It IS an Idea, orfeo- you just have to be Brave enough to see it
MY weight/physique is a PERFECT representation of My Mind- and that's not to say I'm perfectly happy with it (it is what it is)
IT IS WHAT IT IS
"Eat What Thou Wilt Is the Whole of the Law"
Aleister Crowley
You Eat What You Thinkbtw- sorry Greg for fuckin up yer Thread :laugh: :'( :laugh: :'(
Quote from: orfeo on September 21, 2014, 05:44:53 AM
Now I'm going to say a movie is a great idea for a date for you, Greg, but just the movie. Someone else (Mirror Image I think?) had suggested a movie was a poor date because there wasn't really a chance to talk. I think your chances are best if you don't open your mouth.
Dude, if for example, Bill Gates showed up in a movie and I remarked to my date that he looked like a turtle, the average person is just going to laugh and at the most playfully say "you're mean."
The reason I'm asking you if you get as infuriated about those other people being called names is to see if in reality you are just trying to protect a certain demographic. Just ask yourself- if you aren't, then there is a clear bias. If you are, then, well, I guess we have a different philosophy. Comedians that make fun of anyone are fine to me as long as they don't single out a single group.
Quote from: snyprrr on September 21, 2014, 07:33:22 AM
You guys exhibit as much hate, or more, than you accuse the accused of. Maybe we should talk Hate instead of Fat?
Good observation.
Quote from: snyprrr on September 21, 2014, 07:33:22 AM
snyprrr: I love my fat friend, but I'm not attracted to her- my friend is a dear human being to me - but Mr. Happy just reads the newspaper around her.
STOP TRYING TO FORCE MR. HAPPY TO LIKE SOMEONE HE DOESN'T LIKE.
Yes.
Quote from: snyprrr on September 21, 2014, 07:33:22 AM
SUGAR and SOY and SALT and SHIT - oh my!
SUGAR and SOY and SALT and SHIT- oh my!
:D
Quote from: snyprrr on September 21, 2014, 07:33:22 AM
btw- sorry Greg for fuckin up yer Thread :laugh: :'( :laugh: :'(
lol, it's okay. You make some good points which should be quite obvious.
As for dating, for now I'm just going to work out more and get some more sun so I don't look like a ghost any more. By next summer I'll be more proactive about looking...
Quote from: Greg on September 21, 2014, 05:34:37 AMIf the lady in the picture had a medical issue I would take it back. But she just sits down and intentionally eats all day- she is naturally thin but chose to be that weight. Seriously, if I did nothing but eat all day and gain twice my weight, I wouldn't deserve some sort of insult?
Well, I love making fun of people to their faces BUT there's always an element of fun in my insults. There isn't any kind of cruelty to my jokes. Would you call this woman a pufferfish to her face? No, as you already have answered, but do you really know her and know her life at home and what she has to deal with on a daily basis? That's the question. Usually when I make fun of someone, I like to add myself into the insult because I'm no better than anyone else and laughing at myself is actually pretty therapeutic for me.
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 21, 2014, 11:34:29 AM
No, as you already have answered, but do you really know her and know her life at home and what she has to deal with on a daily basis?
Have you read the article?
I'm not going to quote Snyprr's long, often homophobic post, or try to respond to it point-by-point, because it would just get too long and tedious. But I do want to try to clear up some of what I perceive to be some pretty huge misperceptions on his part:
First--I don't know where he is getting the notion that anyone is saying that heavier (even obese) people are better than others, that they cannot have personal faults, that losing weight would be a bad thing for them, or that Greg should find them attractive. No one has said any such thing, but that seems to be the bulk of what Snyprr appears to be arguing against. What most people have been objecting to (regarding the photograph) is the outright, cruel, and repeated ridicule based on appearance. Ridicule, to me, is something I expect people to get over once out of junior high school--now, that doesn't mean that I or the people I respect are necessarily perfect in this regard, but if someone called me out for ridiculing someone else, I'd like to think I'd respond with something like, "Yeah, you're right--I just wasn't thinking." For what it's worth, I was pleased that Greg apologized at one point, though he seems to have taken it back and defended the broad social acceptability of ridicule, which I find disappointing. And again, no one is saying Greg should find her attractive, or be open to dating her--in my opinion, we have no control over who we do or don't find attractive. The point is that we don't have to mock people we find unattractive (especially, IMO, when they are already in a group that is a frequent target for ridicule and shunning).
Second--Snyprr seems to believe that those who have criticized his stance here must not value physical health as he does (a point which he has now reiterated in an entirely different thread about weight loss)--this is not necessarily the case. I am 5'11, 160 pounds, eat healthily, and exercise regularly. And guess what? I still think being cruel to people based on their appearance is disgusting. Why be cruel to anyone (especially anyone who is not actively trying to hurt me or anyone else)? I might disagree vehemently with someone like Chris Christie on a whole host of issues, but I think it would be wrong to mock him for his appearance.
Third--Snyprr has gone into an extremely ad hominem area here, suggesting that the two gay guys contributing to this discussion (Orfeo and me) must have ulterior motives and in any event cannot possibly have anything to contribute to the issues here. I'll leave it to others to evaluate this overall position, but I will just add that the only (self-identified) married straight guys who have responded (in other words, the ones presumably most qualified to speak on the subject) seem to have been in broad agreement with Orfeo and me. Is it really a gay versus straight perspective here, or maybe an older, more experienced versus younger, less experienced perspective at play? In any event, my advice to Greg had nothing to do with gender, but just dating in general and the work it takes to find someone with whom you're compatible. I base it not only on my own experience, but also those of countless straight male and female friends of mine who have gone from single to attached. Ironically, a lot of young gay males have attitudes toward dating and toward judging others very similar to those espoused by Snyprr (as he himself seemed to point out in an earlier post, suggesting that Orfeo and I were likely hypocrites, since he didn't think we were expressing stereotypically gay male points of view). All I can say is that I respond to gay men posting such opinions in the same way that I have responded here.
Finally, I think it would be a mistake for anyone to vilify Greg here, even though he has made some statements I find very troubling. He also responded very thoughtfully to an earlier post of mine, and I get the sense that his attitudes seem to be open to change and growth. If anything, he seems concerned that his not being a stereotypical "alpha male" may be causing him to be single (and Snyprrr is telling him, "Yep, that's your problem."). Rather than try to box him into that very corner, I'd just pose the question to Greg of what his ideal woman would be like--would she go for a Snyprr-like guy? My instinct tells me "no way"--but I could well be wrong. But again (and at the risk of falling into a different kind of ad hominem trap)--look at some pretty striking patterns regarding the relationship statuses of who has been giving what type of advice.
Quote from: Greg on September 21, 2014, 11:48:49 AM
Have you read the article?
I haven't read it, but didn't you make the comments under discussion before you read it either? If so, then it is not relevant. I don't think anyone would object to your disagreeing with choices she makes and publicly defends, but that is different from repeatedly ridiculing someone based only on a picture. At the time you did so, Mirror Image's point was valid.
Quote from: Greg on September 21, 2014, 11:48:49 AM
Have you read the article?
I haven't read the article but nor do I feel any need to, I've got better things to do like listen to some Vaughan Williams. :)
Quote from: NorthNYMark on September 21, 2014, 11:49:46 AM
Rather than try to box him into that very corner, I'd just pose the question to Greg of what his ideal woman would be like--would she go for a Snyprr-like guy?
Not sure about the "snyprr-like" guy aspect since I don't know him outside of here. A female version of him- not really. ;D
Well, it isn't every day that such a wonderful question is asked...
Ideally an anime girl... ok, kidding, but
appearance-wise: between 5-2" and 5-7", dark hair, average to thin build, hopefully good sized in the areas that count, but it's not crucial;
personality-wise: be INTERESTING! and funny and nice
Don't just talk about drinking. And drinking. And drinking. As for sharing common interests, it's hard enough finding guy friends with common interests, so I don't really expect it.
Quote from: NorthNYMark on September 21, 2014, 11:56:05 AM
I haven't read it, but didn't you make the comments under discussion before you read it either? If so, then it is not relevant. I don't think anyone would object to your disagreeing with choices she makes and publicly defends, but that is different from repeatedly ridiculing someone based only on a picture. At the time you did so, Mirror Image's point was valid.
Sure, it was mean (as I mentioned earlier). Bad me. I just thought orfeo blew it out of proportion. Just a simple, "Dude, that's pretty mean." And then I would have responded: " >:D ". And then he could have responded: " ::) ".
John... what's new?
So I found a video that sums up online dating in the most incredibly lucid way possible. Based on observations, what he's saying is very true. In short, it's completely useless for about 95% of guys and so good for women that it's basically useless for them, too- and he says why.
http://www.youtube.com/v/Qe5_JK_LcEI
The thing that confuses me, though, is some couples I occasionally see... I just wonder how in the world that happened. For example, two Hispanic couples I saw recently- one of a few days ago had a 50+ year old looking dude, ugly and heavy, with a 20-something beautiful girl. And today this ugly dude that's only like 5'1" with a 20-something beautiful girl. And there's the two redneck dudes I knew that had wives that looked waaaaaay better than them. I could post a picture, but I consider one of them a dear friend and just wouldn't do that.
Okay, so how does this happen? I have no clue, but I'm guessing it may be a cultural thing. Two rednecks, two Hispanics... I'm guessing that they didn't pick these people up at the grocery store, but have a network of friends that include their families. They form connections over time and such. My family doesn't have anyone over at the house ever, though. In the last 8 years I've lived here, I don't remember them ever bringing anyone inside other than an aunt and uncle from out of town. Their entire social life is at church.
Also, if people tend to connect because of being in the same culture, wtf kind of culture am I in? I guess I fit in most with the "nerd" group, but nerd females are extremely rare, so that's not really a bonus.
It's funny how this thread title sounds pathetic, but in reality, as he mentioned, online dating is only successful for about 4% of guys, so if my experiment with it actually worked, there would be something vastly more odd with it. Probably would end up getting scammed for a free meal or meet a nutcase in the case it "worked" (meaning actually getting a date using it). :-X
Greg, not everything is about looks.
Quote from: North Star on September 29, 2014, 07:11:44 PM
Greg, not everything is about looks.
Is that an ironic statement? ;D
I'm less superficial than an average woman on a dating site. Like the video said, since so many women get such a ridiculous amount of messages each day, they have to look for the most superficial qualities (looks, first of all) before making a decision to even message back. (the video goes into more detail)
Besides that, the two redneck dudes... okay, neither have a lot of money. They don't have exceptional personalities, either. One has a nice, easygoing personality and the other has a somewhat shitty, grumpy personality. What do they really have to offer? That's what I'm wondering.
Quote from: Greg on September 29, 2014, 07:31:13 PM
Is that an ironic statement? ;D
I'm less superficial than an average woman on a dating site. Like the video said, since so many women get such a ridiculous amount of messages each day, they have to look for the most superficial qualities (looks, first of all) before making a decision to even message back. (the video goes into more detail)
Besides that, the two redneck dudes... okay, neither have a lot of money. They don't have exceptional personalities, either. One has a nice, easygoing personality and the other has a somewhat shitty, grumpy personality. What do they really have to offer? That's what I'm wondering.
OK, not everything is about looks
or money.
Also, 'average woman' ≠ 'average woman on a dating site'
Quote from: North Star on September 29, 2014, 07:50:41 PM
OK, not everything is about looks or money.
Yes, but you are missing the part where these guys don't have personalities that are particularly exceptional. One is a bit like me and the other is way worse.
Quote from: North Star on September 29, 2014, 07:50:41 PM
Also, 'average woman' ≠ 'average woman on a dating site'
True, and I didn't know this at first. Realizing this, many things are explained now. :D
Quote from: Greg on September 29, 2014, 07:55:18 PMYes, but you are missing the part where these guys don't have personalities that are particularly exceptional. One is a bit like me and the other is way worse.
Obviously the women they're with see more in them, for whatever reason.
Greg, I think you're analyzing all of this stuff just way too much. If you're confident and just honest with who you are, then you'll find someone. It might not be right this very second or even a year from now, but you've got to keep trying and stop thinking so much.
Quote from: North Star on September 29, 2014, 07:50:41 PM
Also, 'average woman' ≠ 'average woman on a dating site'
I probably should mention that I found 3 that are real and normal- both I sort of know or know about. (though it is unknown whether they were there for attention or actually serious about it...)
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 29, 2014, 08:03:33 PM
Greg, I think you're analyzing all of this stuff just way too much. If you're confident and just honest with who you are, then you'll find someone. It might not be right this very second or even a year from now, but you've got to keep trying and stop thinking so much.
That sounds nice and all, but I'm almost 27, and it seems like that would have worked once by now. I'd rather not have to wait another 27 years.
But I don't wanna make this thread about me; I'm just wondering how in the world what I described happens. Anyone with an answer, maybe from personal experience :P or knowing others- you're welcome to satisfy my curiosity.
Quote from: Greg on September 29, 2014, 08:19:43 PMThat sounds nice and all, but I'm almost 27, and it seems like that would have worked once by now. I'd rather not have to wait another 27 years.
So you would rather put up some kind of facade and make a woman believe that the person she's talking with is not
actually the
real you? Sounds kind of fishy man. Greg, if you like a woman, ask her out, if she says 'no,' then move onto another one. It's that simple really. Nothing can happen if you're just going to over-analyze everything that's wrong with women (and the men they choose to be with) or the whole dating thing in general. You sound like you lack a lot of self-esteem and if a woman says yes when you ask her out, don't look at the whole situation as she pities you or that there must be something wrong with her. Just enjoy the date and get to know her and, most importantly, listen to everything she says. You really shouldn't talk all that much. :)
On top of what I just said above, you seem like a good guy, but there's nothing worse I hate than to see someone so consumed with negative feelings that they can't just accept that they're not going to have everything in common and the whole ideal of finding that 'perfect woman' who is the whole package is ultimately a dead end. A woman can't have everything on your 'checklist.' Once you accept this reality, you'll be able to, hopefully, be in a relationship, but first, you must make the first move and ask a woman that you're attracted to out!
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 29, 2014, 08:45:46 PM
the whole ideal of finding that 'perfect woman' who is the whole package is ultimately a dead end.
I've accepted this years ago. Any Xenakis fans out there?
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 29, 2014, 08:31:44 PM
So you would rather put up some kind of facade and make a woman believe that the person she's talking with is not actually the real you?
It's more about making a connection by expanding yourself. There's not many that are our type out there... so you'd have better odds expanding interests and possible aspects of personality.
Quote from: Mirror Image on September 29, 2014, 08:31:44 PM
Greg, if you like a woman, ask her out, if she says 'no,' then move onto another one.
I may have to wait a couple years to move on, though, because there is no one to move on to... or try to pick up a girl at the grocery store. Now
that's totally me. The real me would engage in small talk about lettuce and pick up someone from the grocery store. :P
Quote from: Greg on September 29, 2014, 09:44:02 PM
I may have to wait a couple years to move on, though, because there is no one to move on to... or try to pick up a girl at the grocery store. Now that's totally me. The real me would engage in small talk about lettuce and pick up someone from the grocery store. :P
Sounds good, practice it! Maybe don't try to be too cool. $:)
"Excuse me, ma'am, is that lettuce you're buying? Oh, how lucky people are nowadays. I remember the days of the lettuce famine when we used to have to hire our own samurai bodyguards to protect the lettuce we would grow in our yards. Now, I didn't have seven samurai to protect me, but only had a measly three samurai; however, when the members of the Lettuce Thief Ninja Guild launched a surprise attack, I quickly gave my samurai some Viagra and they took down the ninjas in the most humiliating way possible. Those were the days... oh yeah, btw, what's your number?"
Very kind actually, Greg.
Quote from: Greg on September 29, 2014, 08:19:43 PM
...That sounds nice and all, but I'm almost 27, and it seems like that would have worked once by now. I'd rather not have to wait another 27 years.
Greg, here's some man-to-man advice, from one who's got 29 years on you: It's better to be single all your life than to find yourself bound to the wrong woman. Been there, suffered that, thought she was God's gift to me but found out otherwise. And I was nearly 30 before it happened!
Live your life, man. Don't worry about what might happen if you don't find Miss Just Right. :) As I've said, you can live your life in fear--or you can live your life. 8)
Quote from: jochanaan on September 30, 2014, 09:18:17 AM
Greg, here's some man-to-man advice, from one who's got 29 years on you: It's better to be single all your life than to find yourself bound to the wrong woman. Been there, suffered that, thought she was God's gift to me but found out otherwise. And I was nearly 30 before it happened!
Live your life, man. Don't worry about what might happen if you don't find Miss Just Right. :) As I've said, you can live your life in fear--or you can live your life. 8)
Good advice. But you know what I call guys like jochanaan, who have a divorce behind them?
Beginners. >:D :laugh: :blank: :laugh:
Quote from: jochanaan on September 30, 2014, 09:18:17 AM
It's better to be single all your life than to find yourself bound to the wrong woman.
True...
Quote from: Greg on September 30, 2014, 07:37:53 AM
"Excuse me, ma'am, is that lettuce you're buying? Oh, how lucky people are nowadays. I remember the days of the lettuce famine when we used to have to hire our own samurai bodyguards to protect the lettuce we would grow in our yards. Now, I didn't have seven samurai to protect me, but only had a measly three samurai; however, when the members of the Lettuce Thief Ninja Guild launched a surprise attack, I quickly gave my samurai some Viagra and they took down the ninjas in the most humiliating way possible. Those were the days... oh yeah, btw, what's your number?"
25 Words Or LESS!! ;)
I've highlighted the problem areas. At least your heart's in the right place, but that kind of talk right there will get you thrown into the FriendZone so quick you won't know what happened.
Can you see how your choice of subject matter may be perceived differently by a hit young American Female?... uh... or anyone? ;D And, what,...Viagra? What do you think they're gonna think when a young man like you mentions that? And then you imply that he sodomizes the thieves? Can you see how a Thinking Woman will(later) "hear" what she thinks you were really saying?
"Hi! I'm an IT nerd living in my mom's basement and looove Anime. My ability to support you is at least a decade away!! Can I now your number have?"
T
his young lady was in line before me yesterday- and no, I could NOT stop wanting to check out her uniquely formed breasts (standing straight up were they), but- WussyBoy showed up on the scene and just tried to act cool. Then, in the parking lot, I was passing her at her car--- "Think man, think... you IDIOT.... (yes, it gets harsh)"...--- so I said, "Hey! Aren't you Tiny Fey?" (she looked like her- but with a knuckle-chewin' bod!!) She lost her coffee on that one, lol!!- but she could tell that it was meant as the highest compliment. Anyhow- here's a question---
At this point in societal history, does it seem like a guy can't "just go up to" someone like this and oh fuuuu... why don't I just
Greg- it's all your fault! :P
Quote from: Greg on September 30, 2014, 10:20:31 AM
True...
NO ONE'S TALKING ABOUT "BINDING" YOU!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Who do I send the bill for this ayn-yer-ism? KISS SOMEBODY GREG!! KISS SOMEBODY!!
You guys are FORCING me to take matters into my own very capable hands!! >:D >:D >:D
"Hey, there, your lettuce smells awfully strange. Oh, btw, give me your number or I'll abduct you."
How about that? :)
Quote from: snyprrr on September 30, 2014, 10:25:44 AM
KISS SOMEBODY GREG!! KISS SOMEBODY!!
Okay, but it'll be your fault if I go to jail.
Quote from: snyprrr on September 30, 2014, 10:25:44 AM
I've highlighted the problem areas.
(* munches popcorn *)
Quote from: Greg on September 30, 2014, 10:37:04 AM
"Hey, there, your lettuce smells awfully strange. Oh, btw, give me your number or I'll abduct you."
How about that? :)
Okay, but it'll be your fault if I go to jail.
"abduct"??? What's with you????
gaaaaa.... (rolls up sleeves)... this is going to take some time...
btw- WE DON'T MEET THEM AT THE LETTUCE----- IT'S THE CUCUMBERS GREG---- CUCUMBERS!!!!!
See, maybe you're like me. It's been so long that bitterness has sectrely and subconsciously built up and it comes out in words like "attack" and "abduct" (which also has "duct" like in "duct tape"- another word that gets girls all nervous).
Please- try again- seriously this time---
"You know why they call it "okra" don't you?" (quick- think of something CLEVER)
"My ex once wore a zucchini to the beach- it ended badly"
"What's the Honeymooner's Salad? lettuce alone"
"Why do they call it squash?" (yes, you were standing in front of the squash waiting for a cutie to walk by)
"Just look at all the different kinds of bagged lettuce. They won't 'lettuce alone' will they?"
OH=---- DON'T MENTION "grapes" for obvious reasons
"These cucumbers are so big!" (you better have it together if you start like that)
anyhow- "produce humor" shouldn't have words like "attack" and "abduct"---- try to use words like "slide" or "glide" or"slip"---- "fun" (ALWAYS have to say 'fun')
THEIR BOYFRIENDS ARE BRINGING THEM DOWN AT HOME- THEY WANT NO SERIOUSNESS FROM YOU!!
WATCH SOME RYAN GOSLING!! movie- do what he says!! :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: karlhenning on September 30, 2014, 10:38:21 AM
(* munches popcorn *)
!!!and yooou!!!
Quote from: snyprrr on September 30, 2014, 10:52:31 AM
anyhow- "produce humor" shouldn't have words like "attack" and "abduct"---- try to use words like "slide" or "glide" or"slip"---- "fun" (ALWAYS have to say 'fun')
"Hello. Please allow me to tie you up in my underground dungeon so use you to slide and glide and slip, which will be fun."
Ryan Gosling... not sure who he is. I rarely watch movies.
I could also be myself: not say anything. This strategy would work well if I were a woman.
Quote from: Greg on September 30, 2014, 11:01:10 AM
I could also be myself: not say anything. This strategy would work well if I were a woman.
That's it! I should change genders and become a lesbian!
...but wait, lesbians don't approach other women, do they?... :(
Quote from: Greg on September 30, 2014, 11:01:10 AM
"Hello. Please allow me to tie you up in my underground dungeon so use you to slide and glide and slip, which will be fun."
Ryan Gosling... not sure who he is. I rarely watch movies.
I could also be myself: not say anything. This strategy would work well if I were a woman.
Quote from: Greg on September 30, 2014, 11:02:51 AM
That's it! I should change genders and become a lesbian!
...but wait, lesbians don't approach other women, do they?... :(
It's going to be a long night. ::)
Look, I'm sure we all want the same thing here, but 1979-81 seems to doggedly not want to come back for whatever reason, so, we haaave to rouse ourselves out of this slumber and come up with better solutions. Otherwise, it's, Talk to the Hand... and no one wants that either, so, let us snap to and come up with something truly useful, eh? Look up "Ryan Gosling" and get back to me... (saying "nothing" is not an option for us mere mortals)... (wait... you live in Florida, right? You may be fucked- but I didn't say that- always always keep griiinding away at the cold stone that is your next future ex-girlfriend's heart- whomerver she may be.
Ask a girl at the same produce section if you can "toss her salad". Tell me how that goes down. It should work.
At ease soldier
Quote from: snyprrr on September 30, 2014, 05:59:04 PM
Look up "Ryan Gosling" and get back to me...
Anything specific? (short clips?)
Quote from: snyprrr on September 30, 2014, 05:59:04 PM
wait... you live in Florida, right?
yes
Quote from: snyprrr on September 30, 2014, 05:59:04 PM
Ask a girl at the same produce section if you can "toss her salad". Tell me how that goes down. It should work.
I looked that up... wish I hadn't. There are just things I wouldn't do with someone no matter who they are or what they looked like.
I would be too grossed out thinking about it to effectively tell the joke.
For everyone who was pestering me about using the phrase "hang out" instead of "date," watch 4:13 of this video.
http://www.youtube.com/v/35tFzqhU17w
Pretty clear, right?
btw, I'm tempted to watch more of this guy's videos. Dude is constantly annoyed, never smiles and is hilarious.
I had an incident last night. :-[
I went to the fairly decent restaurant/bar/roadhouse where any band might be playing- the Nats were getting ready to lose in the 18th!- and she was wearing leopard print.
Sooooo,... I'm walking her out to her car... she says "hang out"... I get the number... I leave...
So what went wrong you aks?
Weakness happened, Greg,... weakness happened.
Just a totally unrelated question- Have you ever been with someone "there"- naked, together, there, now- and POOF!, Nope, It Ain't Happenin'! :( And I don't mean you married guys- chortle! :laugh:
Just another totally unrelated question- What do you think of "Bad Sex"? Just thinking about it makes me seasick. Or...
Did I tell you that once, i showed up at the damsel's apartment with wine and crab cakes, and... hey... look... at... all... the... dolls... everywhere... "Hey, you want to watch 'Patch Adams'?"...
brrrrrrrrrrrr ???
I had a date once get her dinner, take a few bites, get a bag, and want to leave!
Or,... how about?... mmm...in college, somehow beyond belief, I was in my dorm with My Dreamboat, never kissed,... watching 'Plan 9'... and some girl calls and I said I would go to her birthday party or what,... and I WENT >:(... DOH!! >:D... and of course that was a total bomb ("I don't date guys who aren't..."), and then of course I was a fool before My Now Not-Sweetheart,... waaaaahhh :'(. Oh Megan McGonnell where are you, waaaahhhh :'( I was an idiot,... I'm still,... uh,..., mmm,...
Another time, I gave the bartender I was in love with (she looked like Barabara Stanwyck, wrrrowwwrrrr) a REAL pearl necklace,... like one I paid money for! oy vey...
oh, how sad
And I'm seeing lots of couples around,... and it's getting cold out,... who wants to be alone another holidays?.. who? who?
Dropping by to inform all of you people that I went to a symphony concert today, saw Shostakovich performed live, and met two lovely young ladies who enjoyed the music as much as I did. So don't be such pessimists. Instead, take (polite, respectful) action.
Quote from: snyprrr on October 05, 2014, 07:41:16 PM
Just a totally unrelated question- Have you ever been with someone "there"- naked, together, there, now- and POOF!, Nope, It Ain't Happenin'!
Yes. There have been two occasions where I had to say no because it would have been unethical to continue. Once because she was intoxicated and not her right self, and once because she (different she) was in love with me and I was not in love with her.
Being true to yourself and true to others is more important than jumping bones.
Quote from: Brian on October 05, 2014, 07:49:34 PM
Dropping by to inform all of you people that I went to a symphony concert today, saw Shostakovich performed live, and met two lovely young ladies who enjoyed the music as much as I did. So don't be such pessimists. Instead, take (polite, respectful) action.
Whoooaaaa! Hear, hear, folks! If ever in the mood for a threesome, go Shostakovich live!
Quote
Yes. There have been two occasions where I had to say no because it would have been unethical to continue. Once because she was intoxicated and not her right self, and once because she (different she) was in love with me and I was not in love with her.
Being true to yourself and true to others is more important than jumping bones.
Hat off to you,
Brian! A true gentleman!
Quote from: Brian on October 05, 2014, 07:49:34 PM
Dropping by to inform all of you people that I went to a symphony concert today, saw Shostakovich performed live, and met two lovely young ladies who enjoyed the music as much as I did. So don't be such pessimists. Instead, take (polite, respectful) action.
I actually saw a group of young people at the Shostakovich concert I went to once and it included two girls.
I also once went to a piano recital at the library and I was literally the only person under the age of 40 (or 50?) out of somewhere between 50 and 100 people. Classical music + that's the type of place I live in.
Going to concerts is definitely a good idea for meeting people, but it really can't be your only option. Your work has to make sure you have Friday/whatever it is nights off. You should live within a reasonable distance from the concert hall. And also keep in mind how few girls are actually single: in my experience, about 5-10%. So maybe plan on going to 10 or 20 concerts, asking for numerous phone numbers before you get a date. Oh, and if you can manage to sit by a girl that isn't with her boyfriend- you'd have to do some hunting among the sea of old people for that. It's rare to see a girl by herself for some reason; as many people as I have to interact with each day, it's extremely rare that I get to talk to any 20-something year old girl who is not with her boyfriend. On the extremely rare occasion that I do, I'll just act normal but they give me some bad vibes and act really quiet and just want to leave as soon as possible.
Hold on, just realized... it's been a while since I went to a concert, but don't they have assigned seating (not sections only, but specific rows as well?)
Of course, I'll keep this option open in the future...
Quote from: Greg on October 06, 2014, 07:29:21 AM
I also once went to a piano recital at the library and I was literally the only person under the age of 40 (or 50?) out of somewhere between 50 and 100 people.
Forty-something is just perfect and they oftenly look for twenty-something. Just saying. ;D >:D :P
Quote from: Florestan on October 06, 2014, 07:40:32 AM
Forty-something is just perfect and they oftenly look for twenty-something. Just saying. ;D >:D :P
Except I'm almost never attracted to women over 40. That'll change when I reach that age, but now... uh... no. (My mom isn't even 50 yet). :-X
In no rush to grow up... to be more specific, I couldn't point out anyone that looked younger than 60, but I'm sure there were some, which is why I said 40-50.
Look for two or three girls sitting together.
There is of course the chance that they are celebrating a girls night out and have left boyfriends/husbands on their own for the evening.
There is also the chance that they are a lesbian couple.
But at least you won't have to deal with the boyfriend glaring at you situation.
Quote from: Jeffrey Smith on October 06, 2014, 07:54:54 AM
Look for two or three girls sitting together.
There is of course the chance that they are celebrating a girls night out and have left boyfriends/husbands on their own for the evening.
There is also the chance that they are a lesbian couple.
But at least you won't have to deal with the boyfriend glaring at you situation.
;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Jeffrey Smith on October 06, 2014, 07:54:54 AM
Look for two or three girls sitting together.
There is of course the chance that they are celebrating a girls night out and have left boyfriends/husbands on their own for the evening.
There is also the chance that they are a lesbian couple.
But at least you won't have to deal with the boyfriend glaring at you situation.
Yes, exactly. 8)
Rock, or even metal, concerts may be better, though. The metal concert I went to: plenty of time spent waiting in line, younger audience and probably a whole 10% consisted of girls my age. Of course, almost all of them were with boyfriends, but you never know.
Probably rock concerts would be a better bet. If you can tolerate the bands that are playing in you area...
Quote from: Greg on October 06, 2014, 08:05:17 AM
Yes, exactly. 8)
Rock, or even metal, concerts may be better, though. The metal concert I went to: plenty of time spent waiting in line, younger audience and probably a whole 10% consisted of girls my age. Of course, almost all of them were with boyfriends, but you never know.
Probably rock concerts would be a better bet. If you can tolerate the bands that are playing in you area...
Jazz clubs can be even better. You get a more sophisticated crowd there. 8)
Quote from: jochanaan on October 06, 2014, 08:36:56 AM
Jazz clubs can be even better. You get a more sophisticated crowd there. 8)
+1 I met a woman in a jazz club in New Orleans in '08 and she was such a cool person. She and I talked for several hours. The first thing she said to me was how she loved my shirt (I was wearing a Thelonious Monk t-shirt). 8) I'm not one for long distance relationships, so I never really pursued anything with her other than that chat we had.
Quote from: Jeffrey Smith on October 06, 2014, 07:54:54 AM
Look for two or three girls sitting together.
...
There is also the chance that they are a lesbian couple.
Some of them consist of three girls? 8)
How's this for spontaneity: I just asked out a woman I went to high school with via Facebook but I haven't heard back from here yet (I just sent it actually) and we'll see what happens. I'm about 99% sure she's single and doesn't have any kids or at least according to her pictures she's posted anyway. Wish me luck! :)
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 08, 2014, 07:23:41 PM
How's this for spontaneity: I just asked out a woman I went to high school with via Facebook but I haven't heard back from here yet (I just sent it actually) and we'll see what happens. I'm about 99% sure she's single and doesn't have any kids or at least according to her pictures she's posted anyway. Wish me luck! :)
Interesting...
http://www.youtube.com/v/Tolgy_bexHM#t=118
Interesting video here. Guess which one is a keeper? 8)
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 08, 2014, 07:23:41 PM
How's this for spontaneity: I just asked out a woman I went to high school with via Facebook but I haven't heard back from here yet (I just sent it actually) and we'll see what happens. I'm about 99% sure she's single and doesn't have any kids or at least according to her pictures she's posted anyway. Wish me luck! :)
Let me know. I am with my high school gf and have been for over a decade now ...
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 08, 2014, 07:23:41 PM
How's this for spontaneity: I just asked out a woman I went to high school with via Facebook but I haven't heard back from here yet (I just sent it actually) and we'll see what happens. I'm about 99% sure she's single and doesn't have any kids or at least according to her pictures she's posted anyway. Wish me luck! :)
Best of luck and wishes,
John! :)
Kudos for taking that initiative. You never know if you do not ask!
PS - I'm curious now whom it is. :D
Well, I got to talk to a girl who works at Gamestop about my purchase of Final Fantasy 13: Lightning Returns. She played many of the other games in the series, as well. Better than talking to the grocery store cashiers, I suppose. So much easier that way to have a conversation with a stranger, and it's actually meaningful.
My friend just did something similar to what you're doing, John. Just a few hours ago, he told me that he reconnected with a girl he used to date in school, about 17 years ago (she was looking for him for over a year). He doesn't plan on getting serious, though she apparently wants to (they only separated because he moved). Wouldn't it be nice to have that option? If you've ever had an ex in your life, just wait for the chance and reconnect if you want. I wish I had that option.
Quote from: Ken B on October 09, 2014, 07:52:58 AM
Let me know. I am with my high school gf and have been for over a decade now ...
Well, she hasn't responded (yet). :( But, you never know what will happen. She could be busy.
Quote from: ChamberNut on October 09, 2014, 09:26:41 AM
Best of luck and wishes, John! :)
Kudos for taking that initiative. You never know if you do not ask!
PS - I'm curious now whom it is. :D
Thanks for the kind thoughts, Ray. BTW, how's it going with your lady?
Quote from: Greg on October 09, 2014, 12:51:43 PM
Well, I got to talk to a girl who works at Gamestop about my purchase of Final Fantasy 13: Lightning Returns. She played many of the other games in the series, as well. Better than talking to the grocery store cashiers, I suppose. So much easier that way to have a conversation with a stranger, and it's actually meaningful.
My friend just did something similar to what you're doing, John. Just a few hours ago, he told me that he reconnected with a girl he used to date in school, about 17 years ago (she was looking for him for over a year). He doesn't plan on getting serious, though she apparently wants to (they only separated because he moved). Wouldn't it be nice to have that option? If you've ever had an ex in your life, just wait for the chance and reconnect if you want. I wish I had that option.
Well, it certainly would be nice to have that option that's for sure. I wouldn't mind reconnecting with my ex-girlfriend and from what I gather she's not seeing anyone. I just wonder what would happen if I asked her out? It's been 12 years since we dated. She was a sweet woman and I ruined it with my own immaturity and by being analytical about everything. I've certainly mellowed out since then (I was 18 when we dated). It's always worth taking a chance I suppose. She did make me laugh a lot and she was good to me. I just wish things could have turned out better for us.
Well, I found my ex-girlfriend on Facebook and she's single with no kids. I sent her message to see if she would like to get some coffee sometime. It's worth a shot. I'm still carrying a torch for this relationship. I mean she was one of the only women who could tolerate me and that's saying a lot! ;D
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 09, 2014, 07:07:24 PM
Well, I found my ex-girlfriend on Facebook and she's single with no kids. I sent her message to see if she would like to get some coffee sometime. It's worth a shot. I'm still carrying a torch for this relationship. I mean she was one of the only women who could tolerate me and that's saying a lot! ;D
Wow... that would be hilarious if what my friend said today led to anything significant. But the thing is, you gotta keep in mind that you were looking for her and apparently she wasn't looking for you, or else she'd have found you by now. So your role could easily be similar to that of that girl that was looking for my friend.
Well, guess I'd probably would have had this sort of option if I weren't so fugly in high school. Just going to give up. At least imaginary girls can't say no. 8)
Quote from: Greg on October 09, 2014, 08:31:17 PM
Wow... that would be hilarious if what my friend said today led to anything significant. But the thing is, you gotta keep in mind that you were looking for her and apparently she wasn't looking for you, or else she'd have found you by now. So your role could easily be similar to that of that girl that was looking for my friend.
Well, guess I'd probably would have had this sort of option if I weren't so fugly in high school. Just going to give up. At least imaginary girls can't say no. 8)
Sure, I was looking for her and I sent her a message. It's a shot in the dark really. If nothing happens, then I'm not worried about it, because I mean this was 12 years ago since we were a couple, so I obviously shouldn't get my hopes up for something that probably won't even happened. Again, it's worth a shot.
I do believe, however, that there's someone out there for all of us. Unfortunately, some of us never find this person because we've turned bitter and want to withdraw from the whole dating scene or we simply haven't asked out that right person yet. It's hard staying optimistic especially after several rejections, but you've got to keep your head up, Greg. You claim that there's simply no one to date of any interest in your area, but have you tried looking outside of your area? Surely, Orlando has some single women?
I'm current trying to date this Liberian woman I used to work with and who had quite a seductive personality. She's so good looking that I completely fumbled whenever I tried to ask her out. Needless to say, it just turned into me saying "Okay, I'll see you around." Lol...talk about pathetic. Anyway, I think she may be the one. I'm going to be persistent as I found her on a dating site (POF -- thought I would try it since it's free). Hopefully, she says yes.
WISH ME LUCK GUYS!!! Oh, and she's incredibly intelligent which is definite turn-on for me. She and I even discussed music one day among other things.
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 09, 2014, 06:57:03 PM
Thanks for the kind thoughts, Ray. BTW, how's it going with your lady?
Things are going very well, thank you John! :)
Quote from: Greg on October 09, 2014, 12:51:43 PMWouldn't it be nice to have that option? If you've ever had an ex in your life, just wait for the chance and reconnect if you want. I wish I had that option.
Okay, when I get to work, I'm going to try to type out for you the story of how I reconnected with my ex last summer and why it ended very, very badly.
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 09, 2014, 08:55:56 PM
Surely, Orlando has some single women?
Plenty. Just that driving an hour to get there on a regular basis would be not be practical. My schedule is like 50-60 hours a week with work and school and over 20 hours a week with hobbies, which will always come first for me (because hobbies are the only thing that keep me enjoying life enough to want to keep living it :P). I mean, I could, once a week, maybe... :P
Quote from: Brian on October 10, 2014, 04:52:44 AM
Okay, when I get to work, I'm going to try to type out for you the story of how I reconnected with my ex last summer and why it ended very, very badly.
Lol... ok.
Quote from: Greg on October 10, 2014, 06:35:23 AM
Plenty. Just that driving an hour to get there on a regular basis would be not be practical. My schedule is like 50-60 hours a week with work and school and over 20 hours a week with hobbies, which will always come first for me (because hobbies are the only thing that keep me enjoying life enough to want to keep living it :P). I mean, I could, once a week, maybe... :P
Once you get a woman, you'll have one hobby: keeping her happy. :)
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 10, 2014, 06:07:37 PM
Once you get a woman, you'll have one hobby: keeping her happy. :)
Lol, I'm definitely out, then. I would never be happy throwing away my hobbies/skills for someone else. And I'm sure they'd pick up on that. ;D
Seriously, people shouldn't frown upon just living their separate lives and hooking up for a night or two a week, maybe spending a day a week together and just keeping it that simple. We live in a busy, independent-minded society, after all. That's ideal unless you're not busy or retired and have extra time.
Quote from: Greg on October 10, 2014, 06:45:50 PM
Lol, I'm definitely out, then. I would never be happy throwing away my hobbies/skills for someone else. And I'm sure they'd pick up on that. ;D
Seriously, people shouldn't frown upon just living their separate lives and hooking up for a night or two a week, maybe spending a day a week together and just keeping it that simple. We live in a busy, independent-minded society, after all. That's ideal unless you're not busy or retired and have extra time.
What it sounds like to me is you need to finish school first before even worrying about a relationship. You sound like you don't have any time at all.
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 10, 2014, 06:56:50 PM
What it sounds like to me is you need to finish school first before even worrying about a relationship. You sound like you don't have any time at all.
True. One more year.
Okay, I'm drunk, so there couldn't be a better time to tell this story.
Last (2013) May I was feeling lonely and sent a text message to my ex-girlfriend's number. Turns out it was, in fact, still her number. She replied and we agreed to meet one Friday afternoon in Austin, TX. I don't live in Austin, I live in Dallas; I was visiting Austin for my little brother's graduation. My motive for meeting her was to get a little drunk before the graduation ceremony, because it sounded like it would be pretty boring sober.
Unfortunately, as I found out later, she fell madly in love with me the very moment she saw me that day. I was just interested in drinking a bit and finding out what had happened to my ex. She was doing social work, making a pittance and dealing with tons of stress. I had, and still have, a pretty great job in Dallas. We caught up and agreed to meet again if we ever visited each other's cities.
A few weeks later she visited Dallas, stayed with a friend, but went out one night with me. Then she visited Dallas again, this time staying with me. We had a little too much and started getting, uh, friendly on my couch. She admitted she had fallen for me the very moment she saw me again. I admitted that I was tipsy. She demanded that, before we do anything else, we commit to a serious (long-distance) relationship. I wasn't ready to do that, obviously, but I was pretty desperate to date somebody, so I agreed to keep seeing her and find out what might happen.
We met occasionally for the next few months, in her city or mine. We kissed and cavorted and had fun. We talked. We didn't do anything R-rated. Maybe PG-13. I would have dated her if she lived near me. She was clearly falling in love, and I was clearly not. I was enjoying myself, don't get me wrong, but if you said, "Hey, Brian, you have to live with this girl morning and night for 30 years," I would have screamed and run away. It was just fun to me. And then one night the fun got very serious. We got in my bed, we got horizontal, we got scantily clad. We got into what you might (modestly) call The Preliminaries. And she said, "If you go any further, I need to know we're committed."
I stopped. She said, "Why did you stop?" "I'm feeling uncertain." An honest conversation followed, both of us in our underpants only. I asked her plans for overcoming the physical distance between us; she only said "Maybe it will work out somehow." I asked her to describe what it felt like to be in love with somebody; she described the heights of infatuated passion: your heart skipping a beat when someone enters a room, your soul feeling incomplete when someone is gone. I told her I hadn't felt that in years. She began to cry, grabbed her shirt, and left, sleeping on the couch the rest of the night. The next morning she showered, politely said goodbye, and left. I have not heard a word from her since.
She is a great person, and she was a good friend. I liked her and still do. We just were not a good, nor a practical, romantic couple. And as far as classical music goes, I gave her a couple CDs in high school. She played the "Nacht" finale of Strauss's Eine Alpensinfonie thinking a classical "night" would help her sleep. Instead it creeped her out and gave her nightmares. I've always thought of her listening to that music, ever since. I've thought of her plenty of other times too. But what can you do? Often your exes are best left in the past.
Thanks for this story, Brian. Sometimes things are best when the parties agree to go their separate ways. BTW, do you get drunk often?
Your writing doesn't suffer when you get drunk.
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 10, 2014, 08:17:29 PM
Thanks for this story, Brian. Sometimes things are best when the parties agree to go their separate ways. BTW, do you get drunk often?
Probably in a two-week period I get legitimately drunk once and have a smart, limited number of drinks 3-4 times. Never have gotten "blackout" drunk or made terrible consequential drunk decisions, and have only had a couple mild hangovers.
Quote from: Brian on October 11, 2014, 07:05:45 AM
Probably in a two-week period I get legitimately drunk once and have a smart, limited number of drinks 3-4 times. Never have gotten "blackout" drunk or made terrible consequential drunk decisions, and have only had a couple mild hangovers.
Cool, Brian. 8) At least you drink responsibly which more than I can say of some younger people I know.
Quote from: Brian on October 10, 2014, 07:48:02 PM
Okay, I'm drunk, so there couldn't be a better time to tell this story.
Last (2013) May I was feeling lonely and sent a text message to my ex-girlfriend's number. Turns out it was, in fact, still her number. She replied and we agreed to meet one Friday afternoon in Austin, TX. I don't live in Austin, I live in Dallas; I was visiting Austin for my little brother's graduation. My motive for meeting her was to get a little drunk before the graduation ceremony, because it sounded like it would be pretty boring sober.
Unfortunately, as I found out later, she fell madly in love with me the very moment she saw me that day. I was just interested in drinking a bit and finding out what had happened to my ex. She was doing social work, making a pittance and dealing with tons of stress. I had, and still have, a pretty great job in Dallas. We caught up and agreed to meet again if we ever visited each other's cities.
A few weeks later she visited Dallas, stayed with a friend, but went out one night with me. Then she visited Dallas again, this time staying with me. We had a little too much and started getting, uh, friendly on my couch. She admitted she had fallen for me the very moment she saw me again. I admitted that I was tipsy. She demanded that, before we do anything else, we commit to a serious (long-distance) relationship. I wasn't ready to do that, obviously, but I was pretty desperate to date somebody, so I agreed to keep seeing her and find out what might happen.
We met occasionally for the next few months, in her city or mine. We kissed and cavorted and had fun. We talked. We didn't do anything R-rated. Maybe PG-13. I would have dated her if she lived near me. She was clearly falling in love, and I was clearly not. I was enjoying myself, don't get me wrong, but if you said, "Hey, Brian, you have to live with this girl morning and night for 30 years," I would have screamed and run away. It was just fun to me. And then one night the fun got very serious. We got in my bed, we got horizontal, we got scantily clad. We got into what you might (modestly) call The Preliminaries. And she said, "If you go any further, I need to know we're committed."
I stopped. She said, "Why did you stop?" "I'm feeling uncertain." An honest conversation followed, both of us in our underpants only. I asked her plans for overcoming the physical distance between us; she only said "Maybe it will work out somehow." I asked her to describe what it felt like to be in love with somebody; she described the heights of infatuated passion: your heart skipping a beat when someone enters a room, your soul feeling incomplete when someone is gone. I told her I hadn't felt that in years. She began to cry, grabbed her shirt, and left, sleeping on the couch the rest of the night. The next morning she showered, politely said goodbye, and left. I have not heard a word from her since.
She is a great person, and she was a good friend. I liked her and still do. We just were not a good, nor a practical, romantic couple. And as far as classical music goes, I gave her a couple CDs in high school. She played the "Nacht" finale of Strauss's Eine Alpensinfonie thinking a classical "night" would help her sleep. Instead it creeped her out and gave her nightmares. I've always thought of her listening to that music, ever since. I've thought of her plenty of other times too. But what can you do? Often your exes are best left in the past.
My first reaction is that you blew it.
30 years with her would reeeally have been that bad?
Time will tell if anyone better comes along, buuut... uncle snyprrr is just making the point that 10 years of 'alone' might mitigate against the 'fear' of '30 years' with the weaker vessel.
But it brings up a conundrum: would you rather be with someone who liked you more, or that you like more? Very rarely are two people liking each other exactly the same. I think I'd rather have the tear producer like me more- it just helps, that's all. The woman SHOULD love the man "more", in that regard- if you know what I mean.
Still- cool story bro
I'm getting in to my "winter's coming" desperation phase. I don't want to be alone - again- for another bone chiller, so, I'm ramping up for a take-no-prisoners total love bombing of womankind in order to secure a warm body for the coming ice-pocalypse.
I :'(DON'T :'(WANT :'(TO :'(BE :'(A :'(LOOOOOOONE :'(
Any updates, Greg? None here. It's like a desert here with tumbleweeds included. ;D
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 15, 2014, 08:59:42 PM
Any updates, Greg? None here. It's like a desert here with tumbleweeds included. ;D
At this point I don't even give a fuck. :P
I might actually go to a party, though. ??? That girl I was talking about is having her 21st birthday party on a Friday night, so I could just imagine all the drunk people there. ;D Not that I'm extremely interested, but it might be something different to do.
Quote from: snyprrr on October 11, 2014, 08:51:03 AM
My first reaction is that you blew it.
30 years with her would reeeally have been that bad?
My first reaction was that he just avoided not a bullet, but an atomic missile ???
Quote from: Baklavaboy on October 16, 2014, 06:34:16 AM
My first reaction was that he just avoided not a bullet, but an atomic missile ???
Ditto. If it ain't there, it ain't there. Trust your gut feeling, always.
All this EbolaDoom gets me itchin' for some PanicSex!!
But... oh yea... here we are... (chirp chirp)... (chirp chirp)...
My honey showed up with her drunk ass boyfriend last night at the venue- hey!, at least it's a start!! ??? ??? ???
Will I ever kiss someone again before I start to bleed out of every pore? sigh :(
Sex By 8 (pm) Or It's Too Late
Quote from: ChamberNut on October 16, 2014, 06:55:13 AM
Ditto. If it ain't there, it ain't there. Trust your gut feeling, always.
More than that, if a woman gets you worked up, but then wants you to sign a contract before you get what she's waving in front of your nose, get the hell out of there. That's unscrupulous behavior. Same strategy the devil uses in stories. Same result: regrets and, eventually, hell.
Quote from: Baklavaboy on October 16, 2014, 07:50:02 AM
More than that, if a woman gets you worked up, but then wants you to sign a contract before you get what she's waving in front of your nose, get the hell out of there. That's unscrupulous behavior. Same strategy the devil uses in stories. Same result: regrets and, eventually, hell.
Lol, true :D
Of course, Brian could have changed his mind afterwards and claimed she tried to rape him. >:D
kidding, of course...
Quote from: Baklavaboy on October 16, 2014, 07:50:02 AM
More than that, if a woman gets you worked up, but then wants you to sign a contract before you get what she's waving in front of your nose, get the hell out of there. That's unscrupulous behavior. Same strategy the devil uses in stories. Same result: regrets and, eventually, hell.
Yes, agreed! :) :o
Quote from: Baklavaboy on October 16, 2014, 07:50:02 AM
More than that, if a woman gets you worked up, but then wants you to sign a contract before you get what she's waving in front of your nose, get the hell out of there. That's unscrupulous behavior. Same strategy the devil uses in stories. Same result: regrets and, eventually, hell.
brrrrrrr.... is this the 'Ghost Story Thread' or whaaat???? You tell a scary
Quote from: snyprrr on October 16, 2014, 08:18:23 AM
brrrrrrr.... is this the 'Ghost Story Thread' or whaaat???? You tell a scary
Are you joking? You're the one who said he "blew it"-- something like "What, you'd turn down 7 minutes of action for a mere 30 years of commitment to a desperate manipulative woman?" (That may be an overly rough paraphrase, I don't want to scroll up and check).
Funny, how you turn Brian's "great person, and a good friend" into a "desperate and manipulative" woman that "got him worked up". Yeah, blame that fiery witch who dared to fall in love with a man and wanted to know if the feeling is mutual. Sometimes, this forum really feels like a trip back to the 19th century. Historically informed posting I guess!
Quote from: Rinaldo on October 16, 2014, 12:11:31 PM
Funny, how you turn Brian's "great person, and a good friend" into a "desperate and manipulative" woman that "got him worked up". Yeah, blame that fiery witch who dared to fall in love with a man and wanted to know if the feeling is mutual. Sometimes, this forum really feels like a trip back to the 19th century. Historically informed posting I guess!
That was rather harsh, I agree, but that's not the time and situation to ask that type of question.
Quote from: Greg on October 16, 2014, 12:23:44 PM
That was rather harsh, I agree, but that's not the time and situation to ask that type of question.
Quite the contrary. It's easy to get carried away in a situation like this and from what Brian wrote, it seems the woman simply didn't want to get carried
all the way unless she was sure this wasn't just a fling.
Quote from: Rinaldo on October 16, 2014, 12:11:31 PM
Funny, how you turn Brian's "great person, and a good friend" into a "desperate and manipulative" woman that "got him worked up". Yeah, blame that fiery witch who dared to fall in love with a man and wanted to know if the feeling is mutual. Sometimes, this forum really feels like a trip back to the 19th century. Historically informed posting I guess!
Quote from: Greg on October 16, 2014, 12:23:44 PM
That was rather harsh, I agree, but that's not the time and situation to ask that type of question.
Quote from: Rinaldo on October 16, 2014, 12:50:14 PM
Quite the contrary. It's easy to get carried away in a situation like this and from what Brian wrote, it seems the woman simply didn't want to get carried all the way unless she was sure this wasn't just a fling.
I agree with Rinaldo here 100%. Moreover, I think the story shows an uncommon level of maturity on the parts of both Brian and his friend. Often, when peoples' feelings for one another have such different intensity levels, both of them sort of realize it, but may be inclined to stay in denial. In this case, I think Brian's friend was smart to trust her instinct to get reassurance that he was feeling the same way before going even further. It also shows that she trusted him to give her an honest answer--and the fact that he answered honestly demonstrated that he was worthy of that trust, though it made for a painful evening for both of them. I suspect that, had he not been honest, or had she not had the courage to risk ruining the moment by asking the question, the pain would have been far, far greater for both of them further down the road.
Quote from: NorthNYMark on October 16, 2014, 01:48:42 PM
I agree with Rinaldo here 100%. Moreover, I think the story shows an uncommon level of maturity on the parts of both Brian and his friend. Often, when peoples' feelings for one another have such different intensity levels, both of them sort of realize it, but may be inclined to stay in denial. In this case, I think Brian's friend was smart to trust her instinct to get reassurance that he was feeling the same way before going even further. It also shows that she trusted him to give her an honest answer--and the fact that he answered honestly demonstrated that he was worthy of that trust, though it made for a painful evening for both of them. I suspect that, had he not been honest, or had she not had the courage to risk ruining the moment by asking the question, the pain would have been far, far greater for both of them further down the road.
Yeah, perhaps you're right. My apologies if I painted things too cynically. I'm well into middle age, and have had a lot of partners over the years and maybe have just forgotten what it was like for girls who took things that seriously. That said, I'd still run away.
Quote from: Rinaldo on October 16, 2014, 12:11:31 PM
Funny, how you turn Brian's "great person, and a good friend" into a "desperate and manipulative" woman that "got him worked up". Yeah, blame that fiery witch who dared to fall in love with a man and wanted to know if the feeling is mutual. Sometimes, this forum really feels like a trip back to the 19th century. Historically informed posting I guess!
burn it with fire!!!
I agree- I can't remember the last time I smelled the "do you love me too?" smell. mmmm.... Brian could've always just.... oh, that's right, you don't want me to say that. :-X :-[ :-\ :P
This guy at the karaoke did 'My Way' last night, but, at the end of each verse he sang, "I fucked her myyyy way," and littered the lyrics with lewd substitutions. Frankly, no one goes for that kind of stuff. I was watching this girl's reaction, and she was like, 'Oh, this world... when will it end?'...
I can tell you that this guy can most definitely act like a know-it-all ass, -
but, there is also (what we think) is some lesbian lady who sings the 'Pussycat Song', which is really lewd,... and I can tell you, it doesn't work for her either.
BEING "LEWD" JUST DOESN'T WORK FOR ANYONE REALLY.
Even when hot girls say stuff like, Suck My Cock- it's more just repulsive and it makes one want to slap the innousounce out of their mouths. Yea, yup, being lewd doesn't even work for hot chicks.
Quote from: Baklavaboy on October 16, 2014, 05:33:44 PM
Yeah, perhaps you're right. My apologies if I painted things too cynically. I'm well into middle age, and have had a lot of partners over the years and maybe have just forgotten what it was like for girls who took things that seriously. That said, I'd still run away.
You are not "well into middle age". You have only just begun, young pup!
She doesn't have to be a succubus for Brian's decision to be wise and prudent. If two people want very different things out of a relationship then iit will turn out badly for at least one of them. That seems to have been the case.
Quote from: snyprrr on October 16, 2014, 06:11:56 PM
Even when hot girls say stuff like, Suck My Cock- it's more just repulsive and it makes one want to slap the innousounce out of their mouths. Yea, yup, being lewd doesn't even work for hot chicks.
Lol, I've heard that so many times.
Quote from: Greg on October 16, 2014, 05:54:54 AM
At this point I don't even give a fuck. :P
I might actually go to a party, though. ??? That girl I was talking about is having her 21st birthday party on a Friday night, so I could just imagine all the drunk people there. ;D Not that I'm extremely interested, but it might be something different to do.
I would go to the party just for the hell of it, Greg. You never know you may meet someone else as a result.
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 16, 2014, 07:03:04 PM
I would go to the party just for the hell of it, Greg. You never know you may meet someone else as a result.
That's what I was thinking, but that is exactly the wrong type of mindset to have. It's better to go to parties with no expectations of "meeting someone," because if you do have that expectation, you'll either get nervous when someone tries to talk to you or get bummed out if you don't meet anyone.
I scheduled that evening off. I just wanna see if she has a big house.
Quote from: Greg on October 16, 2014, 07:08:04 PM
That's what I was thinking, but that is exactly the wrong type of mindset to have. It's better to go to parties with no expectations of "meeting someone," because if you do have that expectation, you'll either get nervous when someone tries to talk to you or get bummed out if you don't meet anyone.
I scheduled that evening off. I just wanna see if she has a big house.
You're only nervous if you allow yourself to be nervous. :) But, yes, it's best to go into any situation like this one without any expectations. Just have fun.
parties parties parties
Halloween
tis the season of opportunity!!
now is the time - no one wants to wake up on christmas morning knowing their babe is bangin someone else - now is the time to start setting up for the 'bleak times'- be a squirrel and store away many many prospects---- errrr, I mean 'score' away.... wait.... what?
just do it... NOOOW!!!!!
Was talking with a new friend I work with who drove me home tonight... got quite the compliment- asked "how goes it with the ladies, since you look like the type of guy they'd be all over." I've heard this quite a few times, but always very nice to hear it again. ;D
And of course I keep it vague- "I wish..." not going into more detail than that, hoping no more questioning so it doesn't go into awkward territory. He was picking up a girl on the way who is 18 and went on about how he couldn't turn down an 18 year old, given the choice between her and another girl (he's 27). He met her at the school I used to go to (she's a college freshman), just approaching her and talking to her as she was sitting by herself outside. So, I suppose that's one big difference between me and him- I just to keep to myself most of the time and he likes to talk to new people.
This probably won't be funny for anyone who doesn't know the people, but a girl I work with who always flirts with me and my friend told me that she asked my friend if he'd like to hang out sometime. She showed me his reaction. He basically just made his eyes wide and didn't say anything. ;D
Somehow I saw this coming, and I'm still laughing hours later. He is so laid back that I'd be surprised if he has ever even had a crush on a girl before.
What would be nice to hear are updates regarding YOUR love life not someone else's, Greg. >:(
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 24, 2014, 06:56:17 PM
What would be nice to hear are updates regarding YOUR love life not someone else's, Greg. >:(
Lol. Nice that you care, but I wouldn't hold my breath. ;D
The ideal girlfriend would be my above-mentioned friend in the body of a cute girl. All the same interests (anime, games, playing guitar, similar music tastes), totally chill, hilarious, open-minded, and challenges my imagination. I've known one girl in my whole life that comes close to this and probably nearly a dozen guys. The 3 girls I asked out in the last 8 years I only asked out because I thought they were kinda cute- we had nothing in common. So ummm... I've thought about only asking out girls I can relate to, but they are so rare that I probably shouldn't ever expect to date anyone. By the time I do find somebody, odds are I'll be too old to date.
Quote from: Greg on October 24, 2014, 07:26:33 PM
Lol. Nice that you care, but I wouldn't hold my breath. ;D
The ideal girlfriend would be my above-mentioned friend in the body of a cute girl. All the same interests (anime, games, playing guitar, similar music tastes), totally chill, hilarious, open-minded, and challenges my imagination. I've known one girl in my whole life that comes close to this and probably nearly a dozen guys. The 3 girls I asked out in the last 8 years I only asked out because I thought they were kinda cute- we had nothing in common. So ummm... I've thought about only asking out girls I can relate to, but they are so rare that I probably shouldn't ever expect to date anyone. By the time I do find somebody, odds are I'll be too old to date.
You have completely unrealistic expectations, my friend, especially with this comment:
QuoteThe ideal girlfriend would be my above-mentioned friend in the body of a cute girl. All the same interests (anime, games, playing guitar, similar music tastes), totally chill, hilarious, open-minded, and challenges my imagination.
You're chasing someone that only exists in your imagination, Greg. Not only that but expecting to find someone with the exact same interests is like a needle in a haystack. You'll be alone forever if you think this person exists. What makes for a compelling relationship is only a few things in common but different interests as well that way you can learn to appreciate something you, otherwise, never would have in the first place. You want someone to challenge you, but you want them to have all the same interests? I'm sorry but this is completely wrong-headed and unrealistic of you.
Quote from: Greg on October 24, 2014, 07:26:33 PM
Lol. Nice that you care, but I wouldn't hold my breath. ;D
The ideal girlfriend would be my above-mentioned friend in the body of a cute girl. All the same interests (anime, games, playing guitar, similar music tastes), totally chill, hilarious, open-minded, and challenges my imagination. I've known one girl in my whole life that comes close to this and probably nearly a dozen guys. The 3 girls I asked out in the last 8 years I only asked out because I thought they were kinda cute- we had nothing in common. So ummm... I've thought about only asking out girls I can relate to, but they are so rare that I probably shouldn't ever expect to date anyone. By the time I do find somebody, odds are I'll be too old to date.
btw- what do you all think of Kat Dennings?
(there!! fixed it- wheeeew)
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 24, 2014, 08:44:07 PM
You have completely unrealistic expectations, my friend, especially with this comment:
You're chasing someone that only exists in your imagination, Greg. Not only that but expecting to find someone with the exact same interests is like a needle in a haystack. You'll be alone forever if you think this person exists. What makes for a compelling relationship is only a few things in common but different interests as well that way you can learn to appreciate something you, otherwise, never would have in the first place. You want someone to challenge you, but you want them to have all the same interests? I'm sorry but this is completely wrong-headed and unrealistic of you.
Yeah, it's not realistic. I was just thinking about the question in this thread I got earlier about the ideal woman for me. I just hate the fact that I'm left targeting girls solely because they seem cute, rather than having stuff in common as well.
Quote from: snyprrr on October 24, 2014, 11:36:24 PM
Wait... so you've been with 18 guys in the time it took you to ask 3 girls out? Huh?
Apparently you're drunk?
Quote from: Greg on October 25, 2014, 08:49:32 AM
Apparently you're drunk?
No. Scary huh?
>:D :laugh:
Quote from: Ken B on October 25, 2014, 10:33:04 AM
No. Scary huh?
>:D :laugh:
I would find it scary if I weren't used to snyprrr. >:D
Quote from: Ken B on October 25, 2014, 10:33:04 AM
No. Scary huh?
>:D :laugh:
so... you actually READ the Post???? Are you going to believe eeeeverything I say??? at 3am???? on a Friday????
"I must've been in a blackout" was my old gfs favourite saying!!!... uh, when baaaad things happened. :(
Quote from: Greg on October 25, 2014, 06:30:29 PM
I would find it scary if I weren't used to snyprrr. >:D
looks like I'm gonna have to whip out the NLP cheat sheet and do some change up... hmmm...
Have you ever heard R. Kelly's 'Feelin' on Yo Booty'?
Quote from: snyprrr on October 26, 2014, 07:44:38 AM
Have you ever heard R. Kelly's 'Feelin' on Yo Booty'?
Thankfully, I don't think I have.
Quote from: Greg on October 25, 2014, 08:49:32 AMYeah, it's not realistic. I was just thinking about the question in this thread I got earlier about the ideal woman for me. I just hate the fact that I'm left targeting girls solely because they seem cute, rather than having stuff in common as well.
Well, I know for me, physical attraction happens first and then it's time to dig into their mind and if they're shallow or whatever than I know it's not going to work. I probably wouldn't be any fun for her either, but if I can find a woman I can actually have an intelligent conversation with and also be attracted to physically then that's all I need to go on. Of course, she has to feel the same way I do as it takes two to tango. 8)
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 26, 2014, 07:54:40 AM
Well, I know for me, physical attraction happens first and then it's time to dig into their mind and if they're shallow or whatever than I know it's not going to work. I probably wouldn't be any fun for her either, but if I can find a woman I can actually have an intelligent conversation with and also be attracted to physically then that's all I need to go on. Of course, she has to feel the same way I do as it takes two to tango. 8)
Oh, and they have to be single (unless you want to steal them away from their boyfriend or husband).
So... single- 5% chance (in my experience),
single and just attractive enough- ~2% chance,
single and just attractive enough and interesting/intelligent and nice/bearable- <1% chance.
So you have to know well over a hundred women to potentially go on a date. Unless you go out and meet people, it'll take many years at work. If you work in IT, the odds will be infinitely small meeting someone in the workplace. If you don't go out somewhere to meet people, you'll be too old to date.
Quote from: Greg on October 26, 2014, 08:34:22 AM
Oh, and they have to be single (unless you want to steal them away from their boyfriend or husband).
Well the being 'single' part is bloody obvious. ::)
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 26, 2014, 08:35:26 AM
Well the being 'single' part is bloody obvious. ::)
Probably better to only consider non-married important, though.
Out of the 3 girls I asked out the last 8 years, only the one I asked out recently was not single. The second she became single, other guys were trying to start hanging out with her (less than a week after). The other day I overheard her say she is "talking to someone." Probably someone that actually has something in common with her, unlike me. So that's what, a 2 month opening lol?
I don't like asking out girls who are dating someone, but if you look at my percentages that I wrote and change single to not married, you get quite higher than a 5% chance to start with. And that brings up the odds of finding someone who is "just attractive enough and interesting/intelligent and nice/bearable..."
Quote from: Greg on October 26, 2014, 10:11:45 AM...but if you look at my percentages that I wrote...
...you see a guy who's obsessed with reasoning himself into not dating anyone at all.
Pardon my French, but life & love skullfucks your percentages. You
never know who you might meet and fall for.
Quote from: Greg on October 26, 2014, 10:11:45 AM
Probably better to only consider non-married important, though.
Out of the 3 girls I asked out the last 8 years, only the one I asked out recently was not single. The second she became single, other guys were trying to start hanging out with her (less than a week after). The other day I overheard her say she is "talking to someone." Probably someone that actually has something in common with her, unlike me. So that's what, a 2 month opening lol?
I don't like asking out girls who are dating someone, but if you look at my percentages that I wrote and change single to not married, you get quite higher than a 5% chance to start with. And that brings up the odds of finding someone who is "just attractive enough and interesting/intelligent and nice/bearable..."
The only thing I can gather from your ongoing posts in this thread, Greg, is that you're making mountains out of molehills. If there are no women of interest in your current town/city, then you go to the next town/city to look. It's that simple. You've just complicated matters for yourself with this constant analyzation of what you're doing wrong, what you're looking for, how you've failed in the past, etc. No one has had complete success with everything. My suggestion would be quit complicating things and just enjoy your life.
Quote from: Rinaldo on October 27, 2014, 02:01:04 AM
...you see a guy who's obsessed with reasoning himself into not dating anyone at all.
Pardon my French, but life & love skullfucks your percentages. You never know who you might meet and fall for.
HE LIVES IN FLORIDA, home of the
1) Newlywed
2) Nearly Dead
3) Coke Head
There are no women in Florida for Greg, I reckon. I'm thinking Minnesota, Washington...
Greg, WE are your 'girlfriend',... don't ya get it? "Women for babies, men for pleasure"- WE are your everything. WE are the ones who have something in common with you. "She" is there for your primal need for progeny...
If I may, try not fapping for a while. Maybe God feels that as long as you're your own gf, you don't need a real one to work it for you?
As I see it, Greg, you've got the Gaming and Anime working against you. Can you take a CLASS, or some Karate, or - gulp- yoga,... just something that puts you in the SAME ROOM with a wide selection of potential vict... errrr.... partners?
You still haven't looked into Ryan Gosling, have you?
And you NEED to look at some pics of Kat Dennings, just to cheer you up!! :P
Think about this for a second: in this day and age, what pretty girl would willingly go to church? None, that's correct. If there is a single girl in a church, it's either a) her last place of refuge in a cold cold world, or, b) she made a mistake and won't be there long.
So, if she's with you, and at some time finds out about your Anime addiction, well, Anime to girls is probably like going to church (same with Death Metal), so, you see, you really have to find SOME way or bridging this gap---
ahhh, I mean, do I reeeally expect to find a Woman who likes Xenakis. Come on... that's just ridiculous. Most of you don't even like Xenakis. Xenakis is JUST FOR ME, and me alone. I CHERISH ANYONE who Posts in the Xenakis Thread and loves Xenakis like I do. JUST looove Petrarch and someguy and AND crcULVER james and all you others who must be just as ________ as I am. THERE AAARE NO OTHERS. Thes "friends of Xenakis" ARE my lot- and I'm sure none of them is some hot chick in disguise!!
"Girls" are NOT for discussing rocket science with, can we just get that straight???? Great if you found TheOne, but please to flame me on this point, you just KNOW it's the Truth.
Greg, do you have a Best Friend? I'm feeling that you don't. I have best friends still from my youth and I can talk about what I need to with them,... but, of course, none of them for Xenakis. I had to get 'keyboard friends' for that.
I ACTUALLY CONSIDER THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU MY "FRIENDS"- though, haha, I know I make it hard on you all!!
I mean, fuuu,... guys here - even if they're pissed at me- will fuckin answer my stupid questions, usually no-matter-what. I have AT LEAST an 85% Satisfavction Rating for GMG and me. That may be higher than in real life!!
I spent my whole life trying to find that 'soul mate' thing. I HAD THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT WHAT THAT WAS.
Whatever else, my 'soul mate' needs to be there on a cold, wintry night, for warmth and comfort, and Xenakis has nothing to do with that.
Xenakis (or, any nerdy endeavour), or womanly affection--- if one had to go, guess which one?
Will you pick the hexachord, or the hessa-boom-boom???
ANCIENT SHOGUN TEST:
The father lays out a big colourful ball, and a sword. He sees to which one his infant son will crawl to. If the son crawls to the ball, he will get his head chopped off. It's between the ball and the sword, Greg, ball and sword... 'games' or 'life'.
wish i had a better grasp of the function of paragraphs!!!!
Quote from: Greg on October 24, 2014, 07:26:33 PM
The ideal girlfriend would be my above-mentioned friend in the body of a cute girl....
Try hanging out with her yourself, and after a while you just might be amazed at how cute she gets. That's the way life works, my young friend, and the sooner you stop chasing the "ideal" and look around you with open eyes, the sooner you may find that your dream girl is right in front of you. And remember, "love covers over a multitude of sins." (I Peter 4:8, NIV)
Quote from: jochanaan on October 27, 2014, 08:00:02 AM
Try hanging out with her yourself, and after a while you just might be amazed at how cute she gets. That's the way life works, my young friend, and the sooner you stop chasing the "ideal" and look around you with open eyes, the sooner you may find that your dream girl is right in front of you. And remember, "love covers over a multitude of sins." (I Peter 4:8, NIV)
so do baggy clothes!!
Greg, joch here has a bunch of ugly sisters he's trying to set you up with- keep an eye on him!!! ;)
However, I have had that experience of seeing someone familiar in a brand new light, and yes, that's always an incredible feeling. I didn't even know she was cute, until I SAW it on the inside.
Quote from: snyprrr on October 27, 2014, 08:06:06 AM
Greg, joch here has a bunch of ugly sisters he's trying to set you up with- keep an eye on him!!! ;)
Not at all. (One of my sisters is happily married, the other has taken a vow of celibacy.) My only interest here is Greg's happiness and how his chances for it are lessened by idealistic expectations. And truly, snyprrr, sometimes I wonder about you... :)
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 27, 2014, 06:36:24 AM
The only thing I can gather from your ongoing posts in this thread, Greg, is that you're making mountains out of molehills. If there are no women of interest in your current town/city, then you go to the next town/city to look. It's that simple.
Yeah, like I said, that's what I plan to do when I can.
Quote from: snyprrr on October 27, 2014, 07:55:53 AM
Greg, WE are your 'girlfriend',... don't ya get it? "Women for babies, men for pleasure"- WE are your everything. WE are the ones who have something in common with you. "She" is there for your primal need for progeny...
True. I guess it's too much to expect to have something in common with a person you're going to spend more time with than anyone else.
Quote from: snyprrr on October 27, 2014, 07:55:53 AM
As I see it, Greg, you've got the Gaming and Anime working against you. Can you take a CLASS, or some Karate, or - gulp- yoga,... just something that puts you in the SAME ROOM with a wide selection of potential vict... errrr.... partners?
Karate and cooking, eventually...
once I finish school. And hopefully not working 70 hours a week in a room of only guys- after gym time and such, that wouldn't be possible.
Quote from: snyprrr on October 27, 2014, 07:55:53 AM
Think about this for a second: in this day and age, what pretty girl would willingly go to church? None, that's correct. If there is a single girl in a church, it's either a) her last place of refuge in a cold cold world, or, b) she made a mistake and won't be there long.
Sounds like you don't ever go to church?
Quote from: snyprrr on October 27, 2014, 07:55:53 AM
So, if she's with you, and at some time finds out about your Anime addiction, well, Anime to girls is probably like going to church (same with Death Metal), so, you see, you really have to find SOME way or bridging this gap---
My interests are too masculine, I've realized that. So is there any really common thing that brings women and men together besides alcohol? And if you don't drink, start drinking?
Some girls like anime, but it's kinda like the same lopsided male to female ratio. Finding a girl gamer is not hard, though- not that I'd consider myself a gamer, but I do like talking about games. Games has pretty much been the only common interest I've shared with girls that were friends, other than one friend I knew in high school who liked anime. Oh, and I currently know a lady who loves anime, but she's a 40+ year old married lady with kids, not a 20-something single girl.
Quote from: snyprrr on October 27, 2014, 07:55:53 AM
Greg, do you have a Best Friend? I'm feeling that you don't. I have best friends still from my youth and I can talk about what I need to with them,... but, of course, none of them for Xenakis. I had to get 'keyboard friends' for that.
I spent my whole life trying to find that 'soul mate' thing. I HAD THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT WHAT THAT WAS.
Right now, I have two best friends. :P One is the guy I mentioned earlier and he really thought some of the Xenakis I let him listen to sounded cool- Mycanae Alpha. He also really liked The Rite of Spring.
The 'soul mate' idea is retarded. Only you can be your own soul mate. And even then, some people hate themselves.
Quote from: Rinaldo on October 27, 2014, 02:01:04 AM
You never know who you might meet and fall for.
It's nice that that happens to other people. They're just living their life and suddenly they just happen to meet someone who is single and they have a connection with them and decide to date. I'm just confused how this even happens because it's almost a rule that no girl is single, ever. I could imagine this advice making sense when I was in high school, but I'm exactly 2 months away from turning 27 and, uhhh... >:D
Quote from: Greg on October 27, 2014, 08:45:50 PM
...It's nice that that happens to other people. They're just living their life and suddenly they just happen to meet someone who is single and they have a connection with them and decide to date. I'm just confused how this even happens because it's almost a rule that no girl is single, ever. I could imagine this advice making sense when I was in high school, but I'm exactly 2 months away from turning 27 and, uhhh... >:D
Patience, my young friend, patience. I was almost 30 before I got married the first time. (The less said about that marriage, the better!) And as I've said, just about the time I give up on a dream, it walks up and kisses me and becomes real. :) Not saying it will definitely happen to you, you understand... But I do want to emphasize, again, that it's better to be single all your life than to be married to the wrong person. >:D Again: patience.
Quote from: jochanaan on October 28, 2014, 06:50:24 AM
Patience, my young friend, patience. I was almost 30 before I got married the first time. (The less said about that marriage, the better!) And as I've said, just about the time I give up on a dream, it walks up and kisses me and becomes real. :) Not saying it will definitely happen to you, you understand... But I do want to emphasize, again, that it's better to be single all your life than to be married to the wrong person. >:D Again: patience.
Yes. Make the effort to get laid occassionally, worry more about your interests, and don't assess every woman you meet (more than you can help 8) ) on some imaginary scale. And then be patient.
Quote from: jochanaan on October 28, 2014, 06:50:24 AM
Patience, my young friend, patience. I was almost 30 before I got married the first time. (The less said about that marriage, the better!)
I
am alive to how fortunate I am to get it right the first time . . . .
Quote from: jochanaan on October 27, 2014, 08:11:44 AM
Not at all. (One of my sisters is happily married, the other has taken a vow of celibacy.) My only interest here is Greg's happiness and how his chances for it are lessened by idealistic expectations. And truly, snyprrr, sometimes I wonder about you... :)
ohhhh, just teeeasing you my good man---- Ripper and Mandrake, Ripper and Mandrake!!
never wonder about me- always chuckle!! My only main intended goal here at GMG is your morning coffee bursting oton your monitor!! ;) :laugh: (except, of course, when it's not!!)
it's just that I feel like you're trying to turn Greg Dutch- he lives in Florida, it won't work there!!
Quote from: Greg on October 27, 2014, 08:45:50 PM
start drinking?
YES GREG, You have now Officially Graduated from this Thread!! Go Forth and Conquer!!
No, SHE needs to be drinking just enough to make you look good. You need to stay sober so that Mr. Happy doesn't become Mr. Droopy after 11pm!! Trust me on THAT, haha!! You were BORN ready, you don't need any Social Lube!! Just don't let her get sloppy- that's the "Oh Noes!! I've Got an Alcoholic Girlfriend, What Do I Do?" Thread (quick answer- RUN!!). If she's not horny by the third drink, you've turned into a chaparone(?).
Quote from: Greg on October 27, 2014, 08:45:50 PMIt's nice that that happens to other people. They're just living their life and suddenly they just happen to meet someone who is single and they have a connection with them and decide to date. I'm just confused how this even happens because it's almost a rule that no girl is single, ever.
Yeah, they're just living their life and sometimes it simply takes a lot of living.
Dude, go to some anime conventions. Meet people. And if you find someone cute or sexy or hilarious or basically worth having a coffee with (a coffee! not a whole life of mutual fulfilment, save that for later), ask them out. You seem to have little real experience so how on earth can you possibly believe your assessment of women is worth anything? I fell madly in love with a girl I would NEVER expect to find very interesting. And boy, was she ever. Hell, my wife is someone I'd never imagine dating when I first got to know her, because she's from an entirely different cultural world than me. But now those differences fuel our marriage.
Sure, feel free to dream about the perfect girl, but don't let that stop you seeing women in real life. It's the only way you'll find out what you're
really looking for.
Quote from: karlhenning on October 28, 2014, 08:22:17 AM
I am alive to how fortunate I am to get it right the first time . . . .
So did I ... Of course I got it wrong a few times in the middle (I am now with my first gf.) :laugh:
Quote from: Rinaldo on October 28, 2014, 09:59:59 AM
Dude, go to some anime conventions.
Good idea. Actually never thought of that as a place for meeting people, but that's a really good idea.
Quote from: Ken B on October 28, 2014, 07:46:12 AM
Yes. Make the effort to get laid occassionally, worry more about your interests, and don't assess every woman you meet (more than you can help 8) ) on some imaginary scale. And then be patient.
Cool...
Well, I guess I will try not to complain for the next year since the odds of meeting anyone are very small. But after I do get a job and move and I can actually do stuff (hopefully, if I don't have to work too much), ideas like "karate" and "anime conventions" are definitely helpful. Really, all I'd have to do get some attention from the ladies at an anime convention is cosplay as Pyramid Head. :P ;D
I appreciate the ideas, really. Very helpful.
I've meet a woman online (through a dating site) and she seems pretty cool. We're just talking now but I could definitely see myself dating her. We're talking of meeting up for some coffee right now. Wish me luck! 8)
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 31, 2014, 07:06:06 PM
I've meet a woman online (through a dating site) and she seems pretty cool. We're just talking now but I could definitely see myself dating her. We're talking of meeting up for some coffee right now. Wish me luck! 8)
Good luck! :)
Quote from: Greg on October 31, 2014, 07:07:29 PM
Good luck! :)
Thanks, Greg. She seems like a cool person. I hope things work out.
Quote from: karlhenning on October 28, 2014, 08:22:17 AM
I am alive to how fortunate I am to get it right the first time . . . .
You are very blessed,
mein Freund. But you know that. :)
I didn't go to that party tonight. Kinda had some hw I had to do, bottom line. Add to that, I wouldn't have known more than one person there and it just seemed like it'd be a waste of time.
I checked my pof e-mail, which I rarely do now, even after redoing my profile... I keep getting these invites:
QuoteClub THIK is a Plus Size club designed for BBW's (big beautiful women) and the men who love them!
So I'd like to see a male equivalent to this... club for BBM... wait, BHM? Apparently it's so obscure I had to look it up, and if you image search BHM, you just get pictures of shoes.
So, ummm... equality? :P
Quote from: Mirror Image on October 31, 2014, 07:10:22 PM
Thanks, Greg. She seems like a cool person. I hope things work out.
John...? nothing for a week...? doesn't sound good...
Quote from: Greg on November 07, 2014, 07:14:48 PM
John...? nothing for a week...? doesn't sound good...
You're right in saying it doesn't sound good, Greg. Things didn't work out. I don't want to launch into specifics, but let me just say that if something is too good to be true, it usually is. :)
Quote from: snyprrr on October 16, 2014, 07:05:00 AM
My honey showed up with her drunk ass boyfriend last night at the venue- hey!, at least it's a start!! ??? ??? ???
Guys, I have soooo fucked up my shit. :(
That was , what, 4-5 weeks ago? Fuuuuu....
And no, I haven't even kissed her.
Fuck, Greg. I pursued your dreams and I'm fucked. :(
I said things this week I haven't said to anyone who wasn't just about ready to orgfasm...
oh fuck I want to ________.
I just couldn't 'play' my part- couldn't 'act' aloof and detached... told her TRUE FEELINGS.... O.H. F.U.C.K. :( :( :(
Last Monday I told her at first, and that was such a very nice night together,... and then she called the next day... and now I feel ill and want to vomit when I think of her. I have a choir of voices screaming all sorts of horrendous stuff at me- (i cant sleep... eat.... shit.... oh, and I've become impotent!!!! ??? and only when she is flirting with me do I feel it come back (yes, I can't fap... it's really really bad fellas).
anyhow- I feel like a piece of shit.... I tol,d her, You're my girl but I'm not your guy.... and she ASSURES me I'm just being silly willy.
I can't stop hyperventilating.
I totally want to get absolutely wasted,... but, of course,... no... but if an eeght ball dropped from heaven,.... viewer discretion is advised here, y'know...
This is what I get ... and I'm surprised?
The things I've done for this Thread in 9 1/2 weeks is shocking and terrifyinjg.
Did I mention one girl I know began talking "money" to me the other day.... wtf???
OH, AND EVERYWHERR I'M RUNNING INTO OLD FLAMES WITH ENMITY!!!!!! ??? ??? ??? ??? I'm running out before they see me....
This is all so horrible, guys,... I feel like I'm dying. :(
Okay, snyprrr, deep breath, again, again. Now let her go. Then you can began to look around again. (Of course you know this, but sometimes it's good to be reminded of what needs to happen. :) )
Or snyprrr can just give up. I feel better after giving up thinking about this stuff again (what is this, the third time? A bit hard to count by now...)
It's like expecting Shaq to make a free throw. Just give up.
Related....
http://elitedaily.com/dating/men-pssies-women-need-start-asking-men-dates/746965/
I agree with the first sentence of the title, before the ellipses. If you want to read an article that will make you vomit uncontrollably and then die from your brain exploding at the stupidity, read this wonderful piece of modern feminism. ;)
Quote from: Greg on November 09, 2014, 08:00:40 PM
...Related....
http://elitedaily.com/dating/men-pssies-women-need-start-asking-men-dates/746965/
I agree with the first sentence of the title, before the ellipses. If you want to read an article that will make you vomit uncontrollably and then die from your brain exploding at the stupidity, read this wonderful piece of modern feminism. ;)
"The best lack all conviction, while the worst/Are full of passionate intensity..." (W.B. Yeats) And that seems to be the situation as women see it--with, sadly, a fair degree of accurate perception. Good men are afraid to make moves, while bad dudes make assholes of themselves.
Now, a rule that may actually help you find friends if not lovers: "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them..." (Matthew 7:12) You want a girl to be interested in you? Show some interest in her. Listen and learn what her interests actually are. You seldom, in my experience, have to ask direct questions; she'll tell you if you only listen actively, with eye contact, an occasional smile and some leading questions along the line of "What does that mean?" But, and this is a big "but," ;) it has to be real. Women are usually better than men at discerning false "interest." Most of them, especially the beautiful ones, get way too much of it. So, just let things develop naturally. It won't always work, but with patience, you just might get a friend--and real friends are often more valuable than mere "lovers."
Quote from: jochanaan on November 09, 2014, 07:28:19 PM
Okay, snyprrr, deep breath, again, again. Now let her go. Then you can began to look around again. (Of course you know this, but sometimes it's good to be reminded of what needs to happen. :) )
deep breathing HAS been difficult!!!
1) Do I tell her I'm letting her go?-
I remember with ex-wifey, there came a time when the ONLY thing I could DO... was... Nothing. No calls, no attempts to contact... she said that if I had stopped right then, she could still be friends with me. Thzat's when I STARTED drinking, and, yeah, hilarity ensued, I'm sure.
I don';t do Nothing well.
I've always gotta call and talk.... and you guys know my mouth, eh?
It's Monday morning... yes, I feel somewhat shitty this morn. I want to call her and say SOMETHING- but I'm at that point where I'm hurt and feeling like lashing out, so...
LOOK- JUST HELP ME OUT HERE------- TODAY------ PLEASE----- BE MY "SPONSOR", HSAHA
There WILL no doubt be one more phonecall, or I'll no doubt see her out. WHAT DO I DO THEN?????? Act all aloof, as they say? Bring a girl "friend" to make her understand?
She's going to be all the places I go.... ("You're everywhere that I'm not")
waaaah :'(
waaaaahh :'( :'(
I'm reading your last Post. You're just to logicL AND EVEN TEMPERED FOR ME.(whoops)- you've obviously put your woman in her place and she likes it there!!!!Do you think that if this girl did have feelings, she would have said SOMETHING to her best friend by now? She's saying she hasn't told anyone about "me". That's not a good sign in my book.
Can I say?: Look, it's just no "good" anymore. If you haven't told your best friend, if you don't consider us holding hands and cooing and slow dancing a "thing" worthy of sooomeone's attention---- how am I supposed to go along with that?
and the classic: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME????
anyhow--- getting agitated here-- not a good sign---- tonight is a week since our wonderful ron-de-voo... I'll be expecting (though not) a call... if I don't get it, I'm sure I'll want to contact
oh, my guts are flipping out right now--- nauseous----
that'll kill the thread, won't it? ;) :D ;D :laugh:
Quote from: snyprrr on November 10, 2014, 07:33:45 AM
that'll kill the thread, won't it? ;) :D ;D :laugh:
This thread has been dead pages ago. ;D
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 10, 2014, 09:06:06 AM
This thread has been dead pages ago. ;D
well, I was just read the riot act- wow, just wow,... yea,... I've the Fool Galante... am feeling the exact opposite of my two previous Posts. Wow, I played myself like a __________. I'm kind of ashamed at myself... highly embarrassed, and ... hey... where'd my balls go?????
ugh
Quote from: snyprrr on November 10, 2014, 05:49:30 PM
well, I was just read the riot act- wow, just wow,... yea,... I've the Fool Galante... am feeling the exact opposite of my two previous Posts. Wow, I played myself like a __________. I'm kind of ashamed at myself... highly embarrassed, and ... hey... where'd my balls go?????
ugh
Don't be too hard on yourself. It's tough to deal with an angry woman without responding in kind. "Hell hath no fury..." And sometimes the hardest thing for us men is to admit we're wrong and say we're sorry--and mean it. But you really need those deep breaths now! If you meditate or do any other "spiritual" practice, now's the time...
Quote from: jochanaan on November 10, 2014, 06:40:10 AM
Now, a rule that may actually help you find friends if not lovers:
Actually, I could use some advice on how
not to have so many friends... not that I don't like them, but there's just too many people to have time to hang out with, so I have to be really selective. That's one reason why I liked grade school better- I could ride my bike over to literally a dozen friends' houses and not have to worry so much about time.
Quote from: jochanaan on November 11, 2014, 07:32:07 AM
Don't be too hard on yourself. It's tough to deal with an angry woman without responding in kind. "Hell hath no fury..." And sometimes the hardest thing for us men is to admit we're wrong and say we're sorry--and mean it. But you really need those deep breaths now! If you meditate or do any other "spiritual" practice, now's the time...
1) there was no "angry" woman... no, she lied to herself about what was going on... ("my staring longingly into your eyes had NOTHING to do with you falling for me" etc etc etc "these heaving breasts I show all the time had NOTHING to do...")
2) I'm absolutely just like I was a day before all this started. All that angst just trickled out of my little toe, and I could eat, sleep, shit, and boner-up again. Verrry creepy what happened last week.
Obviously, I believe that God Almighty AT LEAST knows what's going to happen five minutes before it does, so, when these things happen, I look up, to ask, What's His stake here? What's He trying to show me?---- I think it was pretty obvious though, if everyone's saying, Run Away, Run Away---
Right now I'm just still in a little shock as to how this all dissipated- it just vanished in an instant when I physically saw her with my eyes the other night. Immediately she went from being My Goddess to just some poor poor creature who doesn't know what she's doing. - and I surely scared myself as to how sorry I am. ugh
I tend to like "you" as much as you like "me", buuuuut, if you're lying about your feelings, how am I to know (until, tah dah, it's too late?)???
SAMPLE
In the middle of our last "conversation", she's like, "Of course I still like you, don't be silly", to which I responded, "As long as by the word "like", you mean you still find me attractive and sexy - because, of course, I already know you like me in the other way because I've been nothing but the Perfect Gentleman with you." She got this deer/headlights look which came back repeatedly over the course of the night as I dropped hot canisters of Logic and Common Sense and Common Cause and Simplicity-- she really did reveal herself to be a somewhat vapid "Amrican Born Girl of the Modern Era" who really couldn't sense anything beyond her own immediate needs/wishes.
And last week I wanted to die... mm mm mm...
So, obviously, if someone ever does actually have sex with me.... I'm probably a goner, eh?
wow- two months for NO KISS--- top that Greg!!!! :laugh: :'( :laugh: :'( :laugh: :'(
I WANT TO PLAY A GAME!!!! Who's up for it?????
Quote from: snyprrr on November 12, 2014, 06:39:53 AM
wow- two months for NO KISS--- top that Greg!!!! :laugh: :'( :laugh: :'( :laugh: :'(
27 years minus 6 weeks?
Quote from: snyprrr on November 12, 2014, 06:39:53 AM
I WANT TO PLAY A GAME!!!! Who's up for it?????
Ummm...?
This thread is actually painful for me to read. If you have not read this book, do so immediately:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061240168/sr=1-1/qid=1415837486/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1415837486&sr=1-1
I don't recommend following the specific advice in it (e.g. Don't dress like an idiot, or do the gimmicky routines) because it is dated now and the subject has moved on, but it will open your eyes to what is possible, and give you a more appropriate frame of reference for the task of meeting women. Once you have read it, look online for more information.
You owe it to yourself.
Quote from: Guido on November 12, 2014, 03:16:19 PM
This thread is actually painful for me to read. If you have not read this book, do so immediately:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0061240168/sr=1-1/qid=1415837486/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1415837486&sr=1-1
I don't recommend following the specific advice in it (e.g. Don't dress like an idiot, or do the gimmicky routines) because it is dated now and the subject has moved on, but it will open your eyes to what is possible, and give you a more appropriate frame of reference for the task of meeting women. Once you have read it, look online for more information.
You owe it to yourself.
I read that book probably 4 or 5 years ago.
There's definitely a lot of useful info there that is proven to work. It just doesn't click with me, though. I can't get into the mindset that these people get into- to me, it's lame and corny as hell. And it seemed more focused on going straight to sex before anything. I'd rather know someone for a while first... it's quite sad that so many women fall for their lame tactics and actually find these people interesting.
Quote from: Greg on November 12, 2014, 04:50:09 PM
I read that book probably 4 or 5 years ago.
There's definitely a lot of useful info there that is proven to work. It just doesn't click with me, though. I can't get into the mindset that these people get into- to me, it's lame and corny as hell. And it seemed more focused on going straight to sex before anything. I'd rather know someone for a while first... it's quite sad that so many women fall for their lame tactics and actually find these people interesting.
FWIW, I can share my most effective pick-up line.
....
Hi, my name is Warren Buffet, Junior.
Quote from: Ken B on November 12, 2014, 05:49:33 PM
FWIW, I can share my most effective pick-up line.
....
Hi, my name is Warren Buffet, Junior.
lol, that might work.
I actually came across something PUA-related recently, the first thing in a loooong time.
This video:
https://www.youtube.com/v/uDy08-RphI8
The ginger is Tyler Durden from "The Game" book. I would like to see him talk this way and use the same body language to a guy that is 6'5" or taller. ;D Seriously, though, the dude is really annoying and lame- and that's what women go for. Sad.
Lol, this is hilarious. This is the way NOT to act on a date.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/rossalynwarren/a-woman-live-tweeted-an-excruciatingly-cringey-tinder-date-s
I agree that unfortunately the representatives that are famous from this industry are embarrassingly jejune, often very irritating and worse, misogynistic, but the underlying principles are not gimmicky or based on tricks - the "tricks" (preplanned banter, routines, literal magic tricks, and all the other sorts attention seeking activities) work because of the underlying principles of attraction, not the other way round, so you don't need to reject the whole deal. In fact, ignoring it is a mistake, because as I say what is written about in that book is connected, however confusedly, to the principles of human courtship. Unfair though it may seem, these are not really avoidable. There are far more carefully considered and adult books to read on the subject, (not to mention better websites) about what it means to be attractive as a straight man, what to work on, and how to interact with women in a way that is non needy, shows your most attractive side (which eventually is about becoming the man you want to be, and so finally being that attractive side), is (crucially!) FUN and not nerve racking, filters out women who are not worth your time, and all without lying or doing the stupid tricks which rightly turned you off that material in The Game.
I'm slightly passionate about this because I know how much I have changed in this area, and how small adjustments can make enormous differences to this aspect of your life.
I think you're definitely right. The underlying tricks are important. Best to look past these guys' personalities and take the helpful tips. I might look into the "preplanned banter" more. I just can't go up to a random person and start talking about something, because I never have anything to talk about that both me and some random person would find interesting.
Once I move out, I'll give this stuff some more reading. I think my parents would die of shock (and possibly disapproval, depending) if I brought a girl home from a place other than work.
Quote from: Greg on November 12, 2014, 06:04:05 PM
lol, that might work.
I actually came across something PUA-related recently, the first thing in a loooong time.
This video:
https://www.youtube.com/v/uDy08-RphI8
The ginger is Tyler Durden from "The Game" book. I would like to see him talk this way and use the same body language to a guy that is 6'5" or taller. ;D Seriously, though, the dude is really annoying and lame- and that's what women go for. Sad.
neuro linguistic programming ... "awake" hypnosis... seems he would steal your gf standing right next to you...
keep in mind... the "Serpent" from the Garden of Eden... in Hebrew the word is "nahash" which is also translated "Sorcerer"... mm... see?
creepy beyond words
I think when I realized that's what you'd have to be like 24/7 is probably when I became a schlepster. :(
anyhow... back to ME ME ME
nevermind (truly A Failed Experiment (lol)!!)!!
Again, I was told to "buy it". Who here actually has someone say that to them? Seriously harsh times. ouch
and how many exes can you run into in a week?, I mean, reeeally... ugh... (snips, don't forget you're on a public forum)...
LOOK, CHECK THIS OUT- JUUUUST HAPPENED
my old college gal I might have mentioned- who wouldn't have sex w/me on birthday---- I was just walking out this side door and she's making out with a guy I know as she gets in her car. He leaves. I stroll down to her car. "Slut" We laugh. I tell her my woes, and she asks me if I want to make out. Just happened. I'm like, "I just saw you,... and you want me to get sloppy seconds???" So, no.... but I gave her some good natured male bitterness- she told me she had paid for sex in Bali--- that's when it just got ridiculous...
anyhow... do you see how I am suffering for your Thread, Greg? And I'm not joking...
And, folks, I queried witnesses as to the behaviour of myself and the karaoke lady (who elicited those frenzied earlier Posts), and they all agreed that her beau wooould have been a'mighty pissed had he seen a video montage of our greatest witnessed moments together (even though I never kissed her). So, folks, when she told me that he wouldn't have had a problem with "hand holding" and "slow dancing"... every human witness i queried certainly would have been pissed had they been madame's beau. So, folks, it really really does pain me to say it- and I'm only saying it to you because it's what hurt the most. She actually Lied... unless, wait, forgive me, unless of course all the witnesses are incorrect and her beau re-- no, I've got other examples.. my eyes moisten as i tell my beloved brethren that My Beloved.... gasp.... Lied some dumb dumb lie.... I mean really, you're beau would not be pissed seeing a comp reel? Really? Yea, I'm looking at you.... really?
Folks, since I know I cannot confront My Beloved over this- we know how that works out---- I couldn't possibly- HOW could I possibly have relations with someone who would tell me chicken fat like that? I mean, trust me, I've eating much shit in my life, but, at this point, I'm at a loss.
So, I must does ask the questions, just for when The Stoopids hit:
1) If she calls, should I just not answer? I mean, I really can't/don't want to say anything to this lady.
2) If I see her out, do I just put on Politician Face and just mirror her and say blah blah blah until I can get away?
It may surprise youse, but I really don't like being a dick.
Or do I give it to her snyprrr style? (lol)- no, I don't want to give anyone that...I must be the Perfect Gentleman. It's just that she gave me a "tone"- a 'you better listen to me' tone, and that kind of manly woman behaviour is going to have to be dealt with with a whole arse-enal of New Tricks- and I have no idea what those would be-
but, seriously, I Surrender,... but I'd have to change my whole social calender, without any alternatives in sight.. gulp... GMG... gulp....
It was GMG that first threw me out there to begin with.... aye what to do???
zzzZZZzzz.......zzzzzZZZZZzzzz........zzzzzZZZZzzzz......Zzzz...
Read the above post again. You read into it the exact opposite of what I was suggesting. DO NOT DO TRICKS. DO NOT HAVE PREPLANNED BANTER, beyond perhaps planning how you might introduce yourself if you are fearful of the first introduction (which is perfectly normal.) Probably 75% of being attractive as a straight man is about who you are. What you say matters a little, but what matters far more is that what you say is authentic, and is rooted deeply in who you are as a man. This means being in touch with your own desires, sexual and otherwise, knowing who you are and not being ashamed of yourself, and to an extent, where you are going in life - having goals which you are in some way acting to realise. The old "just be yourself" line is, as you know, on its own useless, as so far that's exactly what you have been doing so far and it hasn't worked. What it means at its core though is "be yourself unapologetically and do not sublimate your desires out of fear of alienating others". Your desire is your strongest ally, but of course it requires a tremendous amount of self confidence (that other chestnut people recommend) to be comfortable sharing your desires with other people without fearing judgement. It is something you can work on though given a little time and patience and by adopting the right attitudes.
There is no perfect series of lines that will get a woman to fall for you - she will constantly, mostly unconsciously, be reading for other signs (as we all do) which will tell her far more about you than you think you are giving off. This is why lines do not work. Even if you did use those routines and somehow tricked a woman for a night (if she was very drunk say) you will not be able to keep up an act for much longer. The real you will pour out every time you interact with the world. As another point, raw looks matter a little, but grooming matters a lot more (because it tells a woman about who you are, how you carry yourself in the world, and how you see yourself).
I wouldn't bother approaching women on the street who you have had no introduction to until you have some experience with being socially fully comfortable with women. The good news is that you will already be naturally more attractive to some women than others, both for your looks, but more importantly for your interests and personality. For example the fact that you are passionate about manga is an enormous asset - this is such a strong subculture, and it is mainly women that are manga fans in the west, so tapping into this community I would suggest would be a good avenue. How to be with women, in terms of what attitude to adopt to avoid clamming up and appearing self-confident (again: NO Routines) is the remaining 25% of the bargain, and in a nutshell, boils down to talking to her with a GENUINE desire to get to know her better, not being afraid to disagree with her about things that you care about, in short not being needy or trying to change who you are to appear nice and amenable at all times. This is what being honest in social situations is about and is very difficult for most people. If you have no backbone and no opinions you are lost. If you can be funny and charming all the better! If I'm not careful I'm just going to start spouting off for hours as this is an enormous subject, and I don't have the time! If this all sounds totally foreign as an idea to you then I can recommend some places to turn to.
Quote from: Guido on November 12, 2014, 09:00:00 PM
Read the above post again. You read into it the exact opposite of what I was suggesting. DO NOT DO TRICKS. DO NOT HAVE PREPLANNED BANTER, beyond perhaps planning how you might introduce yourself if you are fearful of the first introduction (which is perfectly normal.) Probably 75% of being attractive as a straight man is about who you are. What you say matters a little, but what matters far more is that what you say is authentic, and is rooted deeply in who you are as a man. This means being in touch with your own desires, sexual and otherwise, knowing who you are and not being ashamed of yourself, and to an extent, where you are going in life - having goals which you are in some way acting to realise. The old "just be yourself" line is, as you know, on its own useless, as so far that's exactly what you have been doing so far and it hasn't worked. What it means at its core though is "be yourself unapologetically and do not sublimate your desires out of fear of alienating others". Your desire is your strongest ally, but of course it requires a tremendous amount of self confidence (that other chestnut people recommend) to be comfortable sharing your desires with other people without fearing judgement. It is something you can work on though given a little time and patience and by adopting the right attitudes.
There is no perfect series of lines that will get a woman to fall for you - she will constantly, mostly unconsciously, be reading for other signs (as we all do) which will tell her far more about you than you think you are giving off. This is why lines do not work. Even if you did use those routines and somehow tricked a woman for a night (if she was very drunk say) you will not be able to keep up an act for much longer. The real you will pour out every time you interact with the world. As another point, raw looks matter a little, but grooming matters a lot more (because it tells a woman about who you are, how you carry yourself in the world, and how you see yourself).
I wouldn't bother approaching women on the street who you have had no introduction to until you have some experience with being socially fully comfortable with women. The good news is that you will already be naturally more attractive to some women than others, both for your looks, but more importantly for your interests and personality. For example the fact that you are passionate about manga is an enormous asset - this is such a strong subculture, and it is mainly women that are manga fans in the west, so tapping into this community I would suggest would be a good avenue. How to be with women, in terms of what attitude to adopt to avoid clamming up and appearing self-confident (again: NO Routines) is the remaining 25% of the bargain, and in a nutshell, boils down to talking to her with a GENUINE desire to get to know her better, not being afraid to disagree with her about things that you care about, in short not being needy or trying to change who you are to appear nice and amenable at all times. This is what being honest in social situations is about and is very difficult for most people. If you have no backbone and no opinions you are lost. If you can be funny and charming all the better! If I'm not careful I'm just going to start spouting off for hours as this is an enormous subject, and I don't have the time! If this all sounds totally foreign as an idea to you then I can recommend some places to turn to.
Great Dance Moves
Ridiculously Good Looking
Bangin' tha Dollaz Yo!
YOU MUST HAVE ONE OF THOSE. The manipulator in the video had the Satanic version of 'Good Dance Moves', like a magician. Certainly not the other two.
I mean, I'm just going to disagree.
Trust me- I CAN'T be myself, it has been a proven fact. I can be archetypes of myself, but I can't be myself in many situations. But, the Personae I don must be enough like me- all the best parts of me, none of the bad- which really is a bitcxh, let me tell ya- you really have to know When to Bail- that may be the secret right there.it's late- my nephew keeps typing...
This is terrible advice. Do not listen to Snyprrr!
Quote from: Guido on November 13, 2014, 04:12:22 AM
This is terrible advice. Do not listen to Snyprrr!
This post has been reported to the moderators as redundant, and insulting to the intelligence of all readers.
:laugh:
Quote from: Greg on November 12, 2014, 08:13:39 PM
...I just can't go up to a random person and start talking about something, because I never have anything to talk about that both me and some random person would find interesting.
You don't live in a place with interesting weather? Then you should move to Denver. :laugh: Seriously, there's always something interesting to talk about--if you do what the old railroad-crossing signs used to say and "Stop. Look. Listen." 8)
Quote from: jochanaan on November 13, 2014, 07:05:11 AM
You don't live in a place with interesting weather? Then you should move to Denver. :laugh: Seriously, there's always something interesting to talk about--if you do what the old railroad-crossing signs used to say and "Stop. Look. Listen." 8)
Florida weather is quite... interesting. There has to be something better to talk about than the weather. Every time the weather changes, I hear, "It's cold" or "It's hot" twenty times a day and unfortunately if it's someone I don't know, I can't say, "oh... really," sarcastically.
Quote from: Guido on November 12, 2014, 09:00:00 PM
Read the above post again. You read into it the exact opposite of what I was suggesting. DO NOT DO TRICKS. DO NOT HAVE PREPLANNED BANTER, beyond perhaps planning how you might introduce yourself if you are fearful of the first introduction (which is perfectly normal.) Probably 75% of being attractive as a straight man is about who you are. What you say matters a little, but what matters far more is that what you say is authentic, and is rooted deeply in who you are as a man. This means being in touch with your own desires, sexual and otherwise, knowing who you are and not being ashamed of yourself, and to an extent, where you are going in life - having goals which you are in some way acting to realise. The old "just be yourself" line is, as you know, on its own useless, as so far that's exactly what you have been doing so far and it hasn't worked. What it means at its core though is "be yourself unapologetically and do not sublimate your desires out of fear of alienating others". Your desire is your strongest ally, but of course it requires a tremendous amount of self confidence (that other chestnut people recommend) to be comfortable sharing your desires with other people without fearing judgement. It is something you can work on though given a little time and patience and by adopting the right attitudes.
There is no perfect series of lines that will get a woman to fall for you - she will constantly, mostly unconsciously, be reading for other signs (as we all do) which will tell her far more about you than you think you are giving off. This is why lines do not work. Even if you did use those routines and somehow tricked a woman for a night (if she was very drunk say) you will not be able to keep up an act for much longer. The real you will pour out every time you interact with the world. As another point, raw looks matter a little, but grooming matters a lot more (because it tells a woman about who you are, how you carry yourself in the world, and how you see yourself).
I wouldn't bother approaching women on the street who you have had no introduction to until you have some experience with being socially fully comfortable with women. The good news is that you will already be naturally more attractive to some women than others, both for your looks, but more importantly for your interests and personality. For example the fact that you are passionate about manga is an enormous asset - this is such a strong subculture, and it is mainly women that are manga fans in the west, so tapping into this community I would suggest would be a good avenue. How to be with women, in terms of what attitude to adopt to avoid clamming up and appearing self-confident (again: NO Routines) is the remaining 25% of the bargain, and in a nutshell, boils down to talking to her with a GENUINE desire to get to know her better, not being afraid to disagree with her about things that you care about, in short not being needy or trying to change who you are to appear nice and amenable at all times. This is what being honest in social situations is about and is very difficult for most people. If you have no backbone and no opinions you are lost. If you can be funny and charming all the better! If I'm not careful I'm just going to start spouting off for hours as this is an enormous subject, and I don't have the time! If this all sounds totally foreign as an idea to you then I can recommend some places to turn to.
This all sounds like me already. Besides being able to talk to a random person with no interesting context. And the fact that I might not talk about some of the things I like sometimes simply because certain people aren't likely to be interested, rather than me being ashamed about them. But always worth a try, I guess.
So then if acting like that is good, guess I'm good...
That's fantastic, if that's true, you will be very successful with women as soon as you start asking them out.
Quote from: Greg on May 10, 2014, 09:01:49 PM
I mean, my profile picture isn't terrible, is it? Basically just a headshot, like everyone else does:
http://pictures.match.com/pictures/19/23/165031923Z.jpeg
Just saw this. This picture makes you you look seriously overweight and that you are trying to hide it. I can only assume that you're not really overweight since you object to fat so much in women, so this photo is definitely something to change. You want a photo that at least includes your shoulders, ideally get a friend to take it, but even a selfie would be better than the current one. Use good lighting that will flatter your skin. If you have a suit, wear it, you will get twice as many replies because of what it suggests about you. Unless you want to meet rock chicks, in which case you should wear something appropriate to them!
More tips can be gleaned here: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/
And generally, ok Cupid is a much better site than plenty of fish - I find the users to be of higher average intelligence and more interesting generally.
If you're in an isolated area and don't have many matches, move to an urban centre. If you are working 60 hours a week, I can't really imagine how you couldn't afford it, even on minimum wage.
Quote from: Ken B on November 13, 2014, 05:08:47 AM
This post has been reported to the moderators as redundant, and insulting to the intelligence of all readers.
:laugh:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: Greg on November 13, 2014, 05:36:38 PM
...being able to talk to a random person with no interesting context....
There is ALWAYS an interesting context. Just open your eyes and ears. :) That was the point of my previous post. Sometimes you sound as if you live in a world where no interesting things ever happen, at least to you. But I say that you only need to look around you to find interesting contexts. Even headlines seen in a newspaper stand can provide context.
Quote from: jochanaan on November 14, 2014, 06:45:42 AM
There is ALWAYS an interesting context. Just open your eyes and ears. :) That was the point of my previous post. Sometimes you sound as if you live in a world where no interesting things ever happen, at least to you. But I say that you only need to look around you to find interesting contexts. Even headlines seen in a newspaper stand can provide context.
Yes. He who wants to see, does see.
Quote from: Guido on November 14, 2014, 01:34:15 AM
Just saw this. This picture makes you you look seriously overweight and that you are trying to hide it. I can only assume that you're not really overweight since you object to fat so much in women, so this photo is definitely something to change. You want a photo that at least includes your shoulders, ideally get a friend to take it, but even a selfie would be better than the current one. Use good lighting that will flatter your skin. If you have a suit, wear it, you will get twice as many replies because of what it suggests about you. Unless you want to meet rock chicks, in which case you should wear something appropriate to them!
Here's another picture of me:
http://pics.pof.com/dating/290/69/1amnvjvvx3yem4ykemxdpexp0474358939.3.jpg
I originally cropped it so much because I read that the site wanted your face to take up most of the picture. Not going to take that too seriously in the future.
Quote from: Guido on November 14, 2014, 01:34:15 AM
More tips can be gleaned here: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/
The data here says not to wear a suit, though. Actually, it's overwhelmingly in favor of not wearing a shirt. I would be confident with a shirtless profile pic other than the fact that it would seem a bit unnatural and weird. I really want to bulk up more and then get abs (the former being extremely difficult, the latter extremely easy), which will take some time. I'm a bit super critical of how I look.
So, eventually my profile pic will be a shirtless me holding my dog. Sure to get hits. :D
Quote from: Guido on November 14, 2014, 01:34:15 AM
And generally, ok Cupid is a much better site than plenty of fish - I find the users to be of higher average intelligence and more interesting generally.
Cool. Noted.
Quote from: Guido on November 14, 2014, 01:34:15 AM
If you're in an isolated area and don't have many matches, move to an urban centre. If you are working 60 hours a week, I can't really imagine how you couldn't afford it, even on minimum wage.
Yeah, when I went all out sorting through profiles some months ago, I found no more than a couple matches in my area. So as I said earlier, I can't do anything until I get hired after graduating from school and will likely be working in an urban area. But that is some excellent info with that link...
Quote from: Greg on November 14, 2014, 07:31:47 PM
Here's another picture of me:
http://pics.pof.com/dating/290/69/1amnvjvvx3yem4ykemxdpexp0474358939.3.jpg
I originally cropped it so much because I read that the site wanted your face to take up most of the picture. Not going to take that too seriously in the future.
The data here says not to wear a suit, though. Actually, it's overwhelmingly in favor of not wearing a shirt. I would be confident with a shirtless profile pic other than the fact that it would seem a bit unnatural and weird. I really want to bulk up more and then get abs (the former being extremely difficult, the latter extremely easy), which will take some time. I'm a bit super critical of how I look.
So, eventually my profile pic will be a shirtless me holding my dog. Sure to get hits. :D
Cool. Noted.
Yeah, when I went all out sorting through profiles some months ago, I found no more than a couple matches in my area. So as I said earlier, I can't do anything until I get hired after graduating from school and will likely be working in an urban area. But that is some excellent info with that link...
We need you smiling, and holding the guitar in such a way as to give her the impression you're going to serenade her with love love love songs... right there you may be too threatening, looking like James Hetfield- and we need to see more of you- those angles, and the hiding, and still going to give off a beefy impression- not "fat", but beefy-, but, you might want to ditch the guitar and just flex so that everything looks as hubba-hubba as possible.- no?
btw- I"VE HAD TO NOW COMPLETELY CHANGE MY SOCIAL CALENDER because of that research I was doing for you, Greg!! >:D
I have spoken with people close to the sitch, and I feel a lot less crazy today (I'll bet you're all real glad ::)) in that it wasn't me making things up out of whole cloth. I have now had to take an 'avoid at all costs' approach, which flippin sucks,- and NO KISS Greg.... fuck, I'm still recovering from embarrassment.
tonight I had to strike out to the redneck bar... oy vey, indeed, shlomo!!
Quote from: snyprrr on November 14, 2014, 08:17:13 PM
We need you smiling, and holding the guitar in such a way as to give her the impression you're going to serenade her with love love love songs...
ew... no.
Quote from: snyprrr on November 14, 2014, 08:17:13 PM
I have spoken with people close to the sitch, and I feel a lot less crazy today (I'll bet you're all real glad ::))
;)
I needed a confidence boost or two... and both checks passed.
well, I did something snyprrr did recently and measured myself. My driver's license has always said 5'10," but I questioned it because I measured myself once a few years ago and found a lower number- however, my measuring was sloppily done. I was very careful this time- didn't cheat and took off my shoes, measure tape was totally straight, and was able to touch my finger that was on the 5'10" line with my head. So, I am officially average height. Of course, height is so relative- in the Phillipines, I would be as tall as what 6'5" appears for a guy in the U.S., but I would be 5'8" for a Northern European. In Japan, I'd be relatively 6'...
Also, I have heard recordings of my voice and didn't noooot like it... for some reason I've been thinking that it was too high-pitched, but after listening again, that's not really the problem. It can be high-pitched when I'm nervous or trying to be polite or forcing myself to talk when I don't want to while trying not to sound threatening (which is over half the time), and that can be a big problem, but the problem is that it doesn't sound good- but if I'm speaking confidently and straightforward, it actually doesn't sound bad. But overall, I could probably do a bit better.
So being aware of this is definitely helpful...
What I was wondering, though, is how the issue of height would relate to online profiles... like how common knowledge is it that the average guy states that he is 2 inches taller in his profile than in real life? So if I were to write 5'10", would they all just think I'm 5'8"? ??? Or should I just play along (I'd rather not, though) and write that I'm 6'? ::)
Quote from: Greg on November 16, 2014, 08:45:55 AM
Also, I have heard recordings of my voice and didn't noooot like it...
try filming a meltdown!! ;) :laugh:
Can I bring up God for a moment? Thanks! You see, now, all of a sudden, we can potentially have a "cloud of witnesses" to our... "errors", whereas, in the past, people would say, "Oh, no one will see." But now, technology itself has become some hellish watchdog of our every foible and flaw.
But anyhow, yes, work on the voice,... learn to do the 'In a World' voice.
Greg, you neeed to go karaoke,... please, just do it for me, once, and either sing 'My Own Prison', or, 'Rock Me Gently',... just,... mm?,... pleeease!! I have to know if I'm really as miserable as I think I am.
And, have I even had any acknowledgement that I've had my heart mercilessly vivisected for your Thread?
I'm still feeling like I've been spiritually ravaged, hit in the gut, drained of gab, and more desperate than is advisable. I just can back from the fourth redneck joint I've sampled this week, and I saw the same junkie-pool girl I saw last night,... and yes, mm, lots of different guys entertaining this junkie lookin former looker... aye aye aye...
Yea, I'm going to have to break down and put a pic online- oh, the embarrassment if someone sees me (that's the fear)- how do I show me without my smashingly obvious face? Sunglasses, probably- I just don't trust that I'd write something that I'd be able to stick my pic on, without dying of embarrassment if an ex or something saw it.
Greg, we need serious strategy now. It's getting close to 'Lonely Cold Season'- yea, it's already cold here- and please please please I don't want to have another Black VChristmas.
You know, I DO whine like a little _____. If there's something NO ONE likes, it's a whiner. Satan and Jesus both don't like whiners, much less the fairer sex.
Oh, I'm just going to camp out in the Thread overnight. It's so cozy in here!! I brought my own kleenex! ;)
Damn, this thread has turned from amusing to pathetic in the blink of an eye. :)
Quote from: snyprrr on November 16, 2014, 08:21:01 PM
Greg, you neeed to go karaoke,... please, just do it for me, once, and either sing 'My Own Prison', or, 'Rock Me Gently',... just,... mm?,... pleeease!! I have to know if I'm really as miserable as I think I am.
Nooooooo... I don't even know those songs. I thought you knew by now that I don't listen to normal music? ???
Quote from: snyprrr on November 16, 2014, 08:21:01 PM
Yea, I'm going to have to break down and put a pic online- oh, the embarrassment if someone sees me (that's the fear)- how do I show me without my smashingly obvious face? Sunglasses, probably- I just don't trust that I'd write something that I'd be able to stick my pic on, without dying of embarrassment if an ex or something saw it.
I've already seen pictures of you, though.
(http://media.animevice.com/uploads/0/2262/183765-cromartiehighschool1.jpg)
But yeah, if you wore shades, that would hide your identity.
Quote from: snyprrr on November 16, 2014, 08:21:01 PM
Greg, we need serious strategy now. It's getting close to 'Lonely Cold Season'- yea, it's already cold here- and please please please I don't want to have another Black VChristmas.
The only thing bad about the winter other than work is that my age increases... doesn't normally get under 40F here, so quite different from where you are.
I met a woman today on a dating site and she gave me her phone number. Hopefully, we'll be able to meet up. Wish me luck!
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 17, 2014, 12:53:38 PM
I met a woman today on a dating site and she gave me her phone number. Hopefully, we'll be able to meet up. Wish me luck!
Okay. But doesn't the fact that you just said that last time and nothing happened make you a bit more pessimistic?
(why am I asking someone who changes their avatar every 3 days?) :P
Quote from: Greg on November 18, 2014, 08:09:26 AM
Okay. But doesn't the fact that you just said that last time and nothing happened make you a bit more pessimistic?
(why am I asking someone who changes their avatar every 3 days?) :P
MASSIVELY GOOD POINT!! :laugh:
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 16, 2014, 08:28:27 PM
Damn, this thread has turned from amusing to pathetic in the blink of an eye. :)
aND THAT'S WHERE i PLAN TO KEEP IT!! :'( :'( :'(
Mope On, Eunnuchs!!
Quote from: Greg on November 17, 2014, 08:49:38 AM
Nooooooo... I don't even know those songs. I thought you knew by now that I don't listen to normal music? ???
I've already seen pictures of you, though.
(http://media.animevice.com/uploads/0/2262/183765-cromartiehighschool1.jpg)
But yeah, if you wore shades, that would hide your identity.
I'm... sorry... Greg... but... I can't... do... thaaat... thaaat... thaaat... thaaat.. (boink!)... I mean, Dave. :blank:
:blank: :blank: :blank:
:blank: :blank: :blank:
:blank: :blank: :blank:
Quote from: Greg on November 18, 2014, 08:09:26 AM
(why am I asking someone who changes their avatar every 3 days hours?) :P
Fixed it for you.
Sarge
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 17, 2014, 12:53:38 PM
I met a woman today on a dating site and she gave me her phone number. Hopefully, we'll be able to meet up. Wish me luck!
Good luck!
Quote from: Greg on November 18, 2014, 08:09:26 AM
Okay. But doesn't the fact that you just said that last time and nothing happened make you a bit more pessimistic?
Hopefully not. Well, it is human nature to recoil a bit after disappointment, but very, very few people in my experience don't have to go through quite a number of rejections and/or bad dates before they find someone with whom they click. It is important to manage expectations--when you meet someone and exchange numbers, it's good to let yourself feel a little excitement (or why bother in the first place?), but it should probably be tempered with the common sense recognition that those dates that turn out to be really special are by definition pretty rare. Unless you see the same pattern repeating over multiple attempts, there's no point in blaming either yourself or the dating pool for the inevitable disappointments.
Quote from: Greg on November 16, 2014, 10:14:19 AM
What I was wondering, though, is how the issue of height would relate to online profiles... like how common knowledge is it that the average guy states that he is 2 inches taller in his profile than in real life? So if I were to write 5'10", would they all just think I'm 5'8"? ??? Or should I just play along (I'd rather not, though) and write that I'm 6'? ::)
Just ask yourself--would you prefer the person you're dealing with to be honest about her stats? How would you react if you met someone who turned out to be a different size or age than what they had described?
I don't get the people who exaggerate their stats or appearance (for example, by using outdated pictures), or lie about their age. Wouldn't you want your date to be pleasantly surprised by your real-life appearance when you meet, rather than disappointed?
Quote from: Greg on November 18, 2014, 08:09:26 AM
Okay. But doesn't the fact that you just said that last time and nothing happened make you a bit more pessimistic?
(why am I asking someone who changes their avatar every 3 days?) :P
You do not know the details of my last stab at online dating and, trust me, it's reason enough to continue the search. You should be more optimistic, Greg.
Quote from: NorthNYMark on November 18, 2014, 02:15:32 PM
Just ask yourself--would you prefer the person you're dealing with to be honest about her stats? How would you react if you met someone who turned out to be a different size or age than what they had described?
I don't get the people who exaggerate their stats or appearance (for example, by using outdated pictures), or lie about their age. Wouldn't you want your date to be pleasantly surprised by your real-life appearance when you meet, rather than disappointed?
Definitely.
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 18, 2014, 06:11:29 PM
You do not know the details of my last stab at online dating and, trust me, it's reason enough to continue the search. You should be more optimistic, Greg.
Heh. We'll see. >:D
Quote from: Greg on November 18, 2014, 07:25:19 PMHeh. We'll see. >:D
Just because you didn't have any luck doesn't mean that I won't or anyone else for that matter. You could have a girlfriend if you
really wanted one, Greg. I think one problem is you lack confidence in yourself as a person and this is one thing a woman can pick up on like a piranha sensing blood in the water. In other words, it's a turn-off. I'm not saying act like an arrogant, egotistical jerk, but a genuine understanding of who you are will definitely help you and if it's something that hinders you, then you're not doing something right.
I'll give you an example, Greg. I work with this woman who I have spoken with on a few occasions and she seems to respond quite well to me and laughs at my jokes. Anyway, it was pretty cold outside tonight and when I was leaving she was telling me how cold it was outside and she cupped the side of my face instead of what people normally do which is touch my hand. She actually cupped my face which is surely a sign that she likes me. Bear in mind, I don't hardly know her. Anyway, I've have shown this woman that I'm confident and I'm genuine in learning more about her and she doesn't feel threatened by me. Anyway, as a result, I'll probably ask her out for some coffee or go have dinner sometime tomorrow. Where I'm getting at is this: be a man and don't be a coward. Get out there and ask some women out and, if all else fails, try the dating site again. Also, you should learn how to accept women for who they are and simply take them at face value. It seems like you continuously try to find fault with every encounter you have with a woman and who cares if she's not into everything you're into. You've got to be more realistic about these things, Greg.
Here you go Greg! ;)
(http://i.imgur.com/RPe0pMQ.png)
Quote from: Moonfish on November 18, 2014, 09:45:30 PM
Here you go Greg! ;)
(http://i.imgur.com/RPe0pMQ.png)
lol! I just heard the sonic boom from him poppin a boner!! :laugh:
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME, AGAIN, WHERE I'M NOOOT ALLOWED TO ASK,... such as, Work,... Bars,... etc.,... (just curioius as to what's still ON the list, seeing as "Girl Walking in Manhattan 10 Hours' has made most ice breakers "rape". (or, "fore-rape")?? Many feel the only thing a man is allowed to do is Post a Profile, like chattel, on a site, and "allow" the ... err... 'goddesses' to sift through your being, like wheat, to weed out any possibility that you may not ACTUALLY be Prince Charming.
I almost went up to the lady with the kid and the shopping bags in the parking lot,... buuut,.. haha,... yea,... Bundy much? I mean, I'd DO it, but,... err,... mm,... does this make me "smart", or a "coward"?
So, ummm, two odd things...
One is that all of a sudden, the girl I "asked out," what, two months ago or so, wants to hang out with me now. Not sure why, but she wants me to text her, so we'll see.
Two is that I had a lucid dream last night where, at least for a minute, me and Mila Kunis... hehe, had some fun. ;) But at the same time it was a bit of a disappointment- even though I think highly of her, I was looking for something more like:
Quote from: Moonfish on November 18, 2014, 09:45:30 PM
Here you go Greg! ;)
(http://i.imgur.com/RPe0pMQ.png)
Senjougahara from the Mongatari series? Well, she's a bit too tsundere for me, but still not bad.
Just opened my pof and got a message from a girl that is kinda cute imo. And did I mention this other girl at work who flirts with me everyday and like yesterday, does stuff like just randomly massaging me?...
Quote from: snyprrr on November 19, 2014, 08:30:12 AM
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME, AGAIN, WHERE I'M NOOOT ALLOWED TO ASK,... such as, Work,... Bars,... etc.,...
I foresee that being the next feminist complaint... but they'll never complain about the free drinks. ;)
I'm starting to think that lucid dreaming is similar to girls... just be there, don't state your wishes and you'll be chased. You don't have any control, so don't even try. Not sure how I feel about that...
Quote from: Greg on November 19, 2014, 06:41:16 PM
So, ummm, two odd things...
One is that all of a sudden, the girl I "asked out," what, two months ago or so, wants to hang out with me now. Not sure why, but she wants me to text her, so we'll see.
Two is that I had a lucid dream last night where, at least for a minute, me and Mila Kunis... hehe, had some fun. ;) But at the same time it was a bit of a disappointment- even though I think highly of her, I was looking for something more like:
Senjougahara from the Mongatari series? Well, she's a bit too tsundere for me, but still not bad.
Just opened my pof and got a message from a girl that is kinda cute imo. And did I mention this other girl at work who flirts with me everyday and like yesterday, does stuff like just randomly massaging me?...
I foresee that being the next feminist complaint... but they'll never complain about the free drinks. ;)
I'm starting to think that lucid dreaming is similar to girls... just be there, don't state your wishes and you'll be chased. You don't have any control, so don't even try. Not sure how I feel about that...
wow, Greg turned philosophical... what?... overnight?? You're scaring me with all that calm logic!!!
Last night I had to purposely avoid the k-k-k-karaoke because of said lassie last week... I can't figure which is worse, being a "weenie boy" or "standing up for yourself"... harumph :( either way, no fun 4 me, wah :(
You remember when you did actually meet someone, and you woke up one morning about a week later, realizing that you had a new lover who was probably going to stick around passed the 2-week-expiration,... and realized you weren't going to have to worry about THAT (being miserably alone) today? Remember that? One top of the world? anyone?... (breaks out box of kleenex...)...
I'm starting to h8 this thread :(
Does ANYONE get even a follicle of action on this entire Forum?????????????? wtf???
-End Transmission-
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 18, 2014, 07:44:04 PM
I'll give you an example, Greg. I work with this woman who I have spoken with on a few occasions and she seems to respond quite well to me and laughs at my jokes. Anyway, it was pretty cold outside tonight and when I was leaving she was telling me how cold it was outside and she cupped the side of my face instead of what people normally do which is touch my hand. She actually cupped my face which is surely a sign that she likes me. Bear in mind, I don't hardly know her. Anyway, I've have shown this woman that I'm confident and I'm genuine in learning more about her and she doesn't feel threatened by me. Anyway, as a result, I'll probably ask her out for some coffee or go have dinner sometime tomorrow. Where I'm getting at is this: be a man and don't be a coward. Get out there and ask some women out and, if all else fails, try the dating site again. Also, you should learn how to accept women for who they are and simply take them at face value. It seems like you continuously try to find fault with every encounter you have with a woman and who cares if she's not into everything you're into. You've got to be more realistic about these things, Greg.
I actually got this woman's number tonight and we plan to have coffee soon. Wish me luck. She seems like she's a pretty cool person.
Cool!
Quote from: Greg on November 20, 2014, 07:37:00 PM
Cool!
Yeah, Greg. She's actually quite assertive and bold. Certainly not afraid to tell you what's on her mind, which can be a blessing and a curse. ;) But, in any event, I hope all goes well. If we hit it off, I'll ask her if she'd like to see a movie (the Starbucks we're going to meet at has a movie theater right down the road). 8)
Well, let me ask you guys something, since no one really responded to my previous post from a day or so ago: what does it mean when a woman touches the side of a guy's face with her hand? This is what this woman did to me and it was cold outside and instead of grabbing my hand to show me how cold it was, she put her hand on the side of my face. What do you make of this?
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 20, 2014, 09:00:36 PM
Well, let me ask you guys something, since no one really responded to my previous post from a day or so ago: what does it mean when a woman touches the side of a guy's face with her hand? This is what this woman did to me and it was cold outside and instead of grabbing my hand to show me how cold it was, she put her hand on the side of my face. What do you make of this?
yea,... no, I concur,... that's good stuff. However, here's how it goes: if she's "touchy feely", she does that to eeeveryone, but, if she says something like, "Oh, I neeever do this," then, you is da man. But, judging from your slightly suspicious demeanour, I'd say that YOU think she's being legit. I suggest the New Attitude of our Lost Puppy Brigade should be one of mild bemusement towards the fairer sex,... don't get your panties all in a bunch like I just did,... let the shit roll off your back like a duck (if possible, LPBs are known for their emotional immaturity, and can't take any kind of flak from their Object of Desire).
Quote from: snyprrr on November 21, 2014, 06:37:19 AM
yea,... no, I concur,... that's good stuff. However, here's how it goes: if she's "touchy feely", she does that to eeeveryone, but, if she says something like, "Oh, I neeever do this," then, you is da man. But, judging from your slightly suspicious demeanour, I'd say that YOU think she's being legit. I suggest the New Attitude of our Lost Puppy Brigade should be one of mild bemusement towards the fairer sex,... don't get your panties all in a bunch like I just did,... let the shit roll off your back like a duck (if possible, LPBs are known for their emotional immaturity, and can't take any kind of flak from their Object of Desire).
I'm pretty sure this woman isn't 'touchy feely'. I had only spoken to her a few times and she always smiles at me. Only someone who likes someone else would they actually touch their face. I certainly didn't pull away but what guy would have? Anyway, putting your hand on someone's face is a sure sign of intimacy. If it's not, then she's one of the most socially awkward people I know.
Hopefully that's the case. But it's easy to misinterpret stuff when people say abnormal stuff. Like the girl I was talking to about 4 years ago always telling me that she loves me. Okay, that would have been awesome if it were true, but it turned out that was just a thing she said, even to other people every now and then. Never knew anyone else who would say that to friends or acquaintances of the opposite gender...
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 21, 2014, 07:36:12 AM
I'm pretty sure this woman isn't 'touchy feely'. I had only spoken to her a few times and she always smiles at me. Only someone who likes someone else would they actually touch their face. I certainly didn't pull away but what guy would have? Anyway, putting your hand on someone's face is a sure sign of intimacy. If it's not, then she's one of the most socially awkward people I know.
Take it as a gift. And see if she gives you more such gifts. ;)
Snyprrr on women.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU&sns=em (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU&sns=em)
Quote from: Greg on November 21, 2014, 09:14:53 AM
Hopefully that's the case. But it's easy to misinterpret stuff when people say abnormal stuff. Like the girl I was talking to about 4 years ago always telling me that she loves me. Okay, that would have been awesome if it were true, but it turned out that was just a thing she said, even to other people every now and then. Never knew anyone else who would say that to friends or acquaintances of the opposite gender...
Umm...I didn't misinterpret this facial touching. I'm pretty sure she's not this way with anyone else, especially people she doesn't know. I definitely consider facial touching an obvious sign of affection for someone, especially when I don't know much about her.
Quote from: jochanaan on November 21, 2014, 09:28:52 AM
Take it as a gift. And see if she gives you more such gifts. ;)
Well, I'm just going to take it slow and let nature take it's course. If it's meant to be then it will happen.
So the girl that messaged me on pof wants to set up a date... which I'm open to, but the big problem is that the town she lives in is an hour away. :-\
And the girl I work with wants to hang out, too, as soon as she's not so busy (and no, I didn't even ask again)... if I'm dating two girls at once, it may sound great, but it's actually almost terrifying thinking about the free time I could potentially be losing. Free time is the most valuable thing that exists, after all.
Quote from: Ken B on November 21, 2014, 05:52:02 PM
Snyprrr on women.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU&sns=em (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU&sns=em)
That was... amusing...
Quote from: Greg on November 21, 2014, 06:46:57 PM
So the girl that messaged me on pof wants to set up a date... which I'm open to, but the big problem is that the town she lives in is an hour away. :-\
And the girl I work with wants to hang out, too, as soon as she's not so busy (and no, I didn't even ask again)... if I'm dating two girls at once, it may sound great, but it's actually almost terrifying thinking about the free time I could potentially be losing. Free time is the most valuable thing that exists, after all.
I say go for the girl that's closer to you. I'm not much for traveling out of my town either and there's a TON of girls here since it's a college town and a women's college to be exact. :)
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 21, 2014, 06:53:31 PM
I say go for the girl that's closer to you. I'm not much for traveling out of my town either and there's a TON of girls here since it's a college town and a women's college to be exact. :)
Nice, wish my town weren't the complete opposite of a college town. Definitely the girl I work with would be preferable just because of the location... idk, I definitely plan on trying to meet the other girl, but I don't see how that could work out since if someone lives an hour away, for me they'd have to be perfect in every way possible just to get me motivated to see them once a week. And the difficulty in meeting halfway is that there is literally nothing at the halfway point- just countryside.
Quote from: Greg on November 21, 2014, 07:07:12 PM
Nice, wish my town weren't the complete opposite of a college town. Definitely the girl I work with would be preferable just because of the location... idk, I definitely plan on trying to meet the other girl, but I don't see how that could work out since if someone lives an hour away, for me they'd have to be perfect in every way possible just to get me motivated to see them once a week. And the difficulty in meeting halfway is that there is literally nothing at the halfway point- just countryside.
It certainly doesn't hurt to weigh your options, but, at the same time, you must prioritize as well. Would you whether waste two hours total on a girl who may or may not even show up or would you rather 'hang out' with someone that lives close to you? That's the question.
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 21, 2014, 07:21:33 PM
It certainly doesn't hurt to weigh your options, but, at the same time, you must prioritize as well. Would you whether waste two hours total on a girl who may or may not even show up or would you rather 'hang out' with someone that lives close to you? That's the question.
Exactly. Here's the message I sent just now after last night stating that I'm interested:
QuoteShit... sorry, I just looked at your location and it's a bit far from me- like over an hour away. I'm kinda only interested in hanging out with people that live nearby. I apologize for speaking to quickly.
I mispelled "too!" Wow... :P
Faced with the reality of time consumption and the idea of having to tell my parents that I've been on a dating site is making me sure that I'm going to take down my profile soon. This is something to do after I've moved. And yes, I will put my profile picture as me playing guitar instead of just a self-shot, since ever since I did that about a week ago, I've actually been getting profile views and a girl that actually isn't a 2 or 3 wanting to meet me (I'd say this girl is a 5 or 6).
So the tension is gone...
Quote from: Greg on November 21, 2014, 07:07:12 PM
Nice, wish my town weren't the complete opposite of a college town. Definitely the girl I work with would be preferable just because of the location... idk, I definitely plan on trying to meet the other girl, but I don't see how that could work out since if someone lives an hour away, for me they'd have to be perfect in every way possible just to get me motivated to see them once a week. And the difficulty in meeting halfway is that there is literally nothing at the halfway point- just countryside.
As someone whose partner lives about 2.5 hours away (and across an international border), I have to admit this perspective boggles my mind somewhat. True, anyone would prefer convenience where possible in all things in life, but when it comes to matters of the heart, an hour's drive (especially
without the hassle of an international border) seems like relatively small potatoes to me. It doesn't even have to involve an overnight stay (though, presumably, you would want it to under the circumstances). Given how rarely romantic relationships (even casual ones, which I understand is all you are seeking at this point) work out, it seems to me that your main, if not sole, criteria would be how much mutual attraction there is and how well you get along. If someone isn't worth even an hour's drive, how could that someone possibly be worth the emotional and time investments that come with dating in general?
But it sounds like you are relatively OK with the possibility of just remaining single for quite some time until you move (and now that I realize you are living with you parents, and care enough about what they think to be concerned about telling them you're on a dating site, this perspective begins to make more sense). I worry about that last parenthetical comment potentially coming across as insulting, and I really don't mean it that way--economic realities often force us to live in less than ideal circumstances, and sometimes it may be best to hold off on dating until those circumstances change.
Quote from: NorthNYMark on November 22, 2014, 10:51:45 AM
But it sounds like you are relatively OK with the possibility of just remaining single for quite some time until you move (and now that I realize you are living with you parents, and care enough about what they think to be concerned about telling them you're on a dating site, this perspective begins to make more sense). I worry about that last parenthetical comment potentially coming across as insulting, and I really don't mean it that way--economic realities often force us to live in less than ideal circumstances, and sometimes it may be best to hold off on dating until those circumstances change.
Oh, it's not insulting at all- actually, it's nice to see that you're understanding of this. I probably didn't add the fact that I can't even stay out too late at night because my dad has issues sleeping and needs to get to bed before 11 (I'm rushed like crazy every night I get home).
I don't think I thought through this enough... :-X
Quote from: Ken B on November 21, 2014, 05:52:02 PM
Snyprrr on women.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU&sns=em (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU&sns=em)
AAAAAAAAND???
(how do you like my head bald?) ;)
btw- just on the phone with the ex who was swappin' spit in the parking lot the other week: she called, mad at me for asking her for some action, and got off the phone with me basically apologizing for being such a whorish American slut!! I actually got a woman to agree that her breasts (doesn't even need the vagge) render any notion of 'Equalitie' superfluous.
I'm starting to think that trannys are just guys who see the plight of other guys and just want to offer them a little friendly "bro-ness"... I mean, isn't that a real good buddy who would trade in his junk for a surgical jelly tube just for his good 'ole pal best buddy friend? Bros gotta stick together?.... eh.... uh...
Have you ever heard snyprrrr surreptiously(?) start a conversation with a... (oh oh, better not go there.... better not go th... better not g...)
funny/scary vid!!
I went to the former bring-your-knife redneck bar Friday night, when there was supposed to be "girls" there, and, well,... no,... and I am noticing a new trend in this new/old town I've moved to... karaoke here seems to bring out the lesbians... it's been obvious, for those who think I just say this shit, no judgemeant, just observation,... so, 8 hours later - nevermind--- bigger fish---- breaking0---- will report------
Another one of snyprrr's posts that I don't even understand...
ok, girl on pof messaged back "Agreed," so glad I at least wasn't irritating. Yeah, I'll shut down my pof page within the next few days (not sure why I didn't already)...
Okay, so this girl at work (who touched my face) is such a flake. One day she's talking to me, the next she's not. I'm done. The ball is in her court if she wants me to take her seriously. I'm tired of being the one who initiates everything. I'm the one who approaches her, I'm the one who texts her, etc. Why must I be the one doing all the work? If she's genuinely interested in me, then she'll want to talk to me, which includes approaching me and texting me. Anyway, now back to music and some 'me time'.
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 22, 2014, 07:34:20 PM
Okay, so this girl at work (who touched my face) is such a flake. One day she's talking to me, the next she's not. I'm done. The ball is in her court if she wants me to take her seriously. I'm tired of being the one who initiates everything. I'm the one who approaches her, I'm the one who texts her, etc. Why must I be the one doing all the work? If she's genuinely interested in me, then she'll want to talk to me, which includes approaching me and texting me. Anyway, now back to music and some 'me time'.
Ha, I understand 100%.
Quote from: Greg on November 22, 2014, 08:05:00 PM
Ha, I understand 100%.
I
knew you could sympathize with me here. ;) :D Anyway, it's just a frustrating situation. It's okay, though, because if she doesn't text me tomorrow or Monday, I'm completely done with her and will just start ignoring her, which won't be anything new for me. I'm good at ignoring people I don't want anything to do with. ;D
Quote from: Mirror Image on November 22, 2014, 07:34:20 PM
Okay, so this girl at work (who touched my face) is such a flake. One day she's talking to me, the next she's not. I'm done. The ball is in her court if she wants me to take her seriously. I'm tired of being the one who initiates everything. I'm the one who approaches her, I'm the one who texts her, etc. Why must I be the one doing all the work? If she's genuinely interested in me, then she'll want to talk to me, which includes approaching me and texting me. Anyway, now back to music and some 'me time'.
If she changes that quickly, you may want to look around. On the other hand, she might be a "Ruby Tuesday." :)
Quote from: snyprrr on November 09, 2014, 05:52:11 PM
Guys, I have soooo fucked up my shit. :(
That was , what, 4-5 weeks ago? Fuuuuu....
And no, I haven't even kissed her.
Fuck, Greg. I pursued your dreams and I'm fucked. :(
I said things this week I haven't said to anyone who wasn't just about ready to orgfasm...
oh fuck I want to ________.
I just couldn't 'play' my part- couldn't 'act' aloof and detached... told her TRUE FEELINGS.... O.H. F.U.C.K. :( :( :(
Last Monday I told her at first, and that was such a very nice night together,... and then she called the next day... and now I feel ill and want to vomit when I think of her. I have a choir of voices screaming all sorts of horrendous stuff at me- (i cant sleep... eat.... shit.... oh, and I've become impotent!!!! ??? and only when she is flirting with me do I feel it come back (yes, I can't fap... it's really really bad fellas).
anyhow- I feel like a piece of shit.... I tol,d her, You're my girl but I'm not your guy.... and she ASSURES me I'm just being silly willy.
I can't stop hyperventilating.
I totally want to get absolutely wasted,... but, of course,... no... but if an eeght ball dropped from heaven,.... viewer discretion is advised here, y'know...
This is what I get ... and I'm surprised?
The things I've done for this Thread in 9 1/2 weeks is shocking and terrifyinjg.
Did I mention one girl I know began talking "money" to me the other day.... wtf???
OH, AND EVERYWHERR I'M RUNNING INTO OLD FLAMES WITH ENMITY!!!!!! ??? ??? ??? ??? I'm running out before they see me....
This is all so horrible, guys,... I feel like I'm dying. :(
It's a month later. :(
I can't tell you how typically this ended. No, i never kissed her. :(
Guys, she pulled some typical "girl moves",... got reeeal typical there... she plays the game where she Always Wins,... never wrong...
I told this woman (good) stuff I never even said to my ex-wife. :( She ate every bit of my attention, wiped her mouth, shat it all back on me, and then said, "I'm hungry!"
Once again, the woman who could do only good turned 'typical'. I started hearing those warning sign phrases. Ah, it's so heartbreaking when you hear someone pull a boner move- losing respect for someone as their mask comes off. :(
Guys, I can't tell you what I've been through, emotionally, in the last month, pretty much since the above Post. I think what happened was this woman got soooo high off of my chivalry (and, I was treating her like a goddess- I'm warning you guys, make sure she's yours before you pull out all the stops, ugh) that she 'took me for granted' and--- what?--- went straight for the next guy.
And yes, I was confronted by this scenario in public... I was "dismissed" in public... guys... you had to be there... h.o.r.r.i.f.y.i.n.g. ... just like in school... and on the phone she piled on the ooze, and then came the final blow...
"I am satisfied that my feelings are sufficiently hurt"
I now have to shun all the places I was going...
All the people familiar with the sitch agree with me, even her friends (when they can be honest)- I'm just really sad that I gave my "dowry" away- guys, I really sold the farm to this chick-
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(---- sniff :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( honk :'( :'( :'( :'( sniff
I didn't even tell you all about the drunk girl from my past that called out-of-the-blue during this whole ordeal--- (I just Deleted the next few sentences!!!!)- oy oy oy oy oy ::) ::) ::)
(I'm typing with my only remaining finger,... cut me some slack here!!)
Last night I saw a new girl-( cue 'Theme')
What's up with this feeling of 'revenge' whereby I want to walk into a room of exes with my NewWonderfulGirl so that they may weep and benoan their tragedy in not picking meMeME??
I TRYING to grow up here. ::) errrrrrr...
(hey, snippy----- stop typing) grrrrrrrr
And round and round you go, and where you stop not even you know--at least, not until you can take a few deep breaths and a good long look in the mirror.
Quote from: snyprrr on December 10, 2014, 07:30:07 AM
...What's up with this feeling of 'revenge' whereby I want to walk into a room of exes with my NewWonderfulGirl so that they may weep and benoan their tragedy in not picking meMeME??
Watch that rebound-relationship thing! It isn't fair to you, and especially not to the girl; we guys are just as likely to unload our baggage from the last relationship onto the next lady as they are to us. If I knew both of you, I might tell her if she asked, "Watch out for this guy snyprrr! He's dealing with some bad shit." $:) Only when you can come into a relationship from a place of personal growth and strength can you experience love as it was meant to be experienced.
Quote from: jochanaan on December 10, 2014, 08:04:37 AM
And round and round you go, and where you stop not even you know--at least, not until you can take a few deep breaths and a good long look in the mirror.Watch that rebound-relationship thing! It isn't fair to you, and especially not to the girl; we guys are just as likely to unload our baggage from the last relationship onto the next lady as they are to us. If I knew both of you, I might tell her if she asked, "Watch out for this guy snyprrr! He's dealing with some bad shit." $:) Only when you can come into a relationship from a place of personal growth and strength can you experience love as it was meant to be experienced.
I spoke with someone who has seen what's been going on for the last few months,... there is consensus...
anyhow, I have just re-implemented the Avoidance-at-all-Costs technique... yes, I was deeply hurt (I hurt myself because I was being a Gomer Pyle (gosh, aw shucks)), but
oh wtf-????- nevermind---haha--- I don't want to talk about it anymore--- waaah
You can either ask God for a hamburger, or ask God to guide you,- whereby he might guide you to a hamburger-
Hey joch-
you seem somewhat Bible literate, what do you make of the Proverb that says:
Pr. 30:18-19
There be three things which are... four, which I know not:
The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent on a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.
SO- God (speaking through Solomon) says He DOESN'T "know the way, the path, that love takes between a man and a woman? As if, this is ONE TOPIC God is just not interested in getting into, because, as we know, it can be quite hairy????
Personally, it seems ridiculous that I'm batting .001 over the last six years without some supernatural cock-block at apparently every turn.
I mean, I know He's not into phornication...
Does a woman carry the DNA of every man that's cum inside her? Is that why paternity tests are never 100% except in cases of a virgin?
would you like me to go off topic???? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: snyprrr on December 11, 2014, 07:36:57 AM
...Hey joch-
you seem somewhat Bible literate, what do you make of the Proverb that says:
Pr. 30:18-19
There be three things which are... four, which I know not:
The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent on a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.
SO- God (speaking through Solomon) says He DOESN'T "know the way, the path, that love takes between a man and a woman? As if, this is ONE TOPIC God is just not interested in getting into, because, as we know, it can be quite hairy????...
This chapter is "The words of Agur the son of Jakeh..." It is not God speaking directly; the Bible seldom is; rather, it is a man speaking wisdom gained by hard experience and communion with God. What I read into this is that, just as the ways of eagles and snakes are mysterious to non-naturalists and the ways of the seas are mysterious to landlubbers, so "the way of a man with a maid"--that is, the soul-deep mystery of how love grows and binds and builds and makes two into a more complex and beautiful one--is mysterious at its heart and beyond human comprehension (but not God's). A similar passage is Job 38-41, where the LORD challenges Job, "Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding." (38:4) The sacred texts here simply remind us that despite all our knowledge and pride of understanding, even the simpler things of life are at their core beyond our ken.
And the application? Don't try to over-analyze what happens between a man and a woman. "It is what it is." Although we may gain some understanding about ourselves from such analysis, it doesn't always do much good in the crunch. And also, don't push things. Farmers know that too much plowing, watering, hoeing and fertilizer (read that any way you please ;) ) application will kill their crops as surely as neglect. It is often best simply to "plant seeds" and come around with a little "water" once in a while. (Aren't metaphors lovely things? :) )
"Can't dance and it's too wet to plough."
Quote from: jochanaan on December 11, 2014, 09:27:58 AM
This chapter is "The words of Agur the son of Jakeh..." It is not God speaking directly; the Bible seldom is; rather, it is a man speaking wisdom gained by hard experience and communion with God. What I read into this is that, just as the ways of eagles and snakes are mysterious to non-naturalists and the ways of the seas are mysterious to landlubbers, so "the way of a man with a maid"--that is, the soul-deep mystery of how love grows and binds and builds and makes two into a more complex and beautiful one--is mysterious at its heart and beyond human comprehension (but not God's). A similar passage is Job 38-41, where the LORD challenges Job, "Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding." (38:4) The sacred texts here simply remind us that despite all our knowledge and pride of understanding, even the simpler things of life are at their core beyond our ken.
And the application? Don't try to over-analyze what happens between a man and a woman. "It is what it is." Although we may gain some understanding about ourselves from such analysis, it doesn't always do much good in the crunch. And also, don't push things. Farmers know that too much plowing, watering, hoeing and fertilizer (read that any way you please ;) ) application will kill their crops as surely as neglect. It is often best simply to "plant seeds" and come around with a little "water" once in a while. (Aren't metaphors lovely things? :) )
Last night, again, I was at a compleeetely random place, when someone I knew came in--- "Hey, aren't you seeing so-and-so?" and then when I relayed the story, he came back with "Yea, we juuust saw her at this other place with that new guy, looking like she needed to be in control."
So, I've learned a LOT about this girl from random meetings with random people. She's the kind who surrounds herself with "acquaintances' that she calls "friends"--- probably going back to a Fed Marshall father's controlling---
like the other Proverb chick who "eats, wipes her mouth, and says I have done nothing wrong."
She's been uncovered to be the Charming Sociopath, the Human Cobra. I have been now told by a few that this has been a long running pattern (wish they would have told me that FIRST!!!) >:D >:D >:D
Look, I do somewhat feel sorry for her and her entrouge(?) of deception,--- buuuut, Dear Lord, if it be Your Will, be pleased to work your working here-- by Your Pleasure, not mine. Shouldn't she get a taste of what she's been giving?
It's all Greg's fault. :( :'(
btw joch- I appreciate your interpretation.
I have to say, though, that during this final stage is this fiasco, when I was truly at my wits end, and asking for Prayers from the most PrayerWarrior types I know- ALL the information I was receiving was coming in extremely "random" ways- all sort of "accidents"-- the kind God seems to specialize in!! I look back, and it's clear- had I gotten 'here' five minutes earlier, I wouldn't have gotten this particular nugget of information- had I gotten 'there' later than I did, I wouldn't have heard from another informant. I get the impression of a Hidden Friend trying to show me things in the only way He can.
Anyhow- uff da... I feel like the victim of a Soul Vampire...Oh Sunlight- Shine Thee Upon this Darkness- Expose the Hidden!!
(why isn't there a hand-on-forehead smilee???)
Quote from: karlhenning on December 11, 2014, 09:50:41 AM
"Can't dance and it's too wet to plough."
That sounds like many of the "rivers" out here in the West: "too thick to drink and too thin to plow." :o ;D
Hah!
Today, I made a rare Facebook post and here it is:
"Insert foot in mouth. I'll never attain happiness in this life until I learn to stop speaking and let my actions do the talking. We can all talk circles in our sleep but it's our own actions that really determine where we're going and, ultimately, where we end up. That's all I'll say here."
The bottomline: if I want someone in my life I need to show them and I simply need to act on my own instincts instead of analyzing everything to death. Sometimes risks need to be taken in order to obtain what it is that you're seeking.
Quote from: Mirror Image on December 18, 2014, 08:23:20 PM
Today, I made a rare Facebook post and here it is:
"Insert foot in mouth. I'll never attain happiness in this life until I learn to stop speaking and let my actions do the talking. We can all talk circles in our sleep but it's our own actions that really determine where we're going and, ultimately, where we end up. That's all I'll say here."
The bottomline: if I want someone in my life I need to show them and I simply need to act on my own instincts instead of analyzing everything to death. Sometimes risks need to be taken in order to obtain what it is that you're seeking.
mmmm.... so, you're saying you're going to be alone for the holidays? ::)
so sad :(
maybe, when we're all in this Thread together, they can just blow up this Thread with all of us in it?
"oh, come heavens, come crashing down on my head!"
Quote from: snyprrr on December 19, 2014, 07:36:55 AM
mmmm.... so, you're saying you're going to be alone for the holidays? ::)
so sad :(
Yeah, but it's impossible to be sad during Christmas because most of us don't have to work during Christmas. And for us who go to school, it's kinda hard to stay sad when you get a whole month off. Sad = 50-55 hours of my life each week during most of the year.
That girl that says she wants to hang out with me goes up to me a few days ago and starts saying that she probably doesn't hang out with me because I don't smoke pot, and she only really hangs out with pothead friends. Ugh.
Reading this was interesting:
http://qz.com/149342/the-uncomfortable-racial-preferences-revealed-by-online-dating/
QuoteThe data shown above come from the Facebook dating app, Are You Interested (AYI), which works like this: Users in search of someone for a date or for sex flip through profiles of other users and, for each one, click either "yes" (I like what I see) or "skip" (show me the next profile). When the answer is "yes," the other user is notified and has the opportunity to respond. It's very similar to another dating app, Tinder.
The graphic shows what percentage of people responded to a "yes," based on the gender and ethnicity of both parties (the data are only for opposite-sex pairs of people). Unsurprisingly, most "yes's" go unanswered, but there are patterns: For example, Asian women responded to white men who "yessed" them 7.8% of the time, more often than they responded to any other race. On the other hand, white men responded to black women 8.5% of the time—less often than for white, Latino, or Asian women. In general, men responded to women about three times as often as women responded to men.
2
Unfortunately the data reveal winners and losers. All men except Asians preferred Asian women, while all except black women preferred white men. And both black men and black women got the lowest response rates for their respective genders.
Perhaps most surprising is that among men, all racial groups preferred another race over their own.
AYI analyzed some 2.4 million heterosexual interactions—meaning every time a user clicked either "yes" or "skip"—to come up with these statistics. Its users skew older than Tinder's—about two-thirds of AYI users are older than 35, according to a spokesperson.
Quote from: snyprrr on December 19, 2014, 07:36:55 AM
mmmm.... so, you're saying you're going to be alone for the holidays? ::)
so sad :(
maybe, when we're all in this Thread together, they can just blow up this Thread with all of us in it? "oh, come heavens, come crashing down on my head!"
Yep, I'm alone for the Holidays, but I have my parents but I would really like to meet that
special woman. Perhaps if I just stop looking, I will find her? Well, this hasn't really worked out either. I just don't know what to do.
Quote from: Greg on December 19, 2014, 08:18:48 AMThat girl that says she wants to hang out with me goes up to me a few days ago and starts saying that she probably doesn't hang out with me because I don't smoke pot, and she only really hangs out with pothead friends. Ugh.
Oh yeah, well be glad you're not going out with her then, Greg. She sounds immature and if her idea of fun is merely smoking pot, then, if it were me, I'd avoid her like the plague. Not that I'm someone who condones it, but I'm not someone who supports it either. If someone's life is filled with emptiness, killing brain cells isn't the answer, but killing your liver with alcohol isn't the answer either. They're only temporary escapes and I never needed pot or alcohol to make that escape.
Quote from: Mirror Image on December 19, 2014, 06:27:17 PM
Not that I'm someone who condones it, but I'm not someone who supports it either.
wait... whaaat?
hey, don't bogart that vape, maaan!! that must be some good sheeee... (party at John's!!)
Quote from: snyprrr on December 19, 2014, 07:32:09 PM
wait... whaaat?
hey, don't bogart that vape, maaan!! that must be some good sheeee... (party at John's!!)
lol, I was thinking the same thing before I read your post. Maybe John meant "condemns" instead of "condones"...
Quote from: Mirror Image on December 19, 2014, 06:27:17 PM
Oh yeah, well be glad you're not going out with her then, Greg. She sounds immature and if her idea of fun is merely smoking pot, then, if it were me, I'd avoid her like the plague. Not that I'm someone who condones it, but I'm not someone who supports it either. If someone's life is filled with emptiness, killing brain cells isn't the answer, but killing your liver with alcohol isn't the answer either. They're only temporary escapes and I never needed pot or alcohol to make that escape.
Funny how I didn't mention alcohol, but yeah... pot, alcohol, and parties are her three great loves, and it is immature. Other than that, she seems like a decent person and is even majoring in the same thing I am.
As for alcohol and killing liver... let's just say I know all about that from my dad. Luckily he's still alive.
Quote from: snyprrr on December 19, 2014, 07:32:09 PM
wait... whaaat?
hey, don't bogart that vape, maaan!! that must be some good sheeee... (party at John's!!)
Yes, I meant condemns. I didn't take my medication whenever I made that post. ;) ;D
Quote from: Mirror Image on December 19, 2014, 09:01:39 PM
Yes, I meant condemns. I didn't take my medication whenever I made that post. ;) ;D
Well,
I thought you meant
condoms.
QuoteCondone
verb (used with object), condoned, condoning.
1.
to disregard or overlook (something illegal, objectionable, or the like).
2.
to give tacit approval to:
"By his silence, he seemed to condone their behavior."
3.
to pardon or forgive (an offense); excuse.
4.
to cause the condonation of; justify the pardoning of (an offense).
5.
Law. to forgive or act so as to imply forgiveness of (a violation of the marriage vow).
It seems that John wasn't as far off the mark as it seemed...
Okay, so any news Greg?
I don't have much to add. I met a few women online and nothing ever materialized, although I met a woman that's interesting but she is 11 years younger than I am and she lives about an hour away. I know the distance thing isn't something to get my undies in a wad about, but the age thing....I just don't know. She seemed to be really into what I was saying, but I have to admit I was being a flake to her when I asked her if our age differences bothered her and she said no and then I said it didn't bother me either only to, within 12 hours, tell her that our age differences does actually bother me. There are just two many red flags if I pursued this woman: 1. she lives in a dormitory (even though she's soon to graduate), 2. she's too young, and 3. the driving distance. Do you guys think I'm being ridiculous?
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 10, 2015, 08:48:11 PM
Okay, so any news Greg?
Ummm... don't expect any.
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 10, 2015, 08:55:03 PM
I don't have much to add. I met a few women online and nothing ever materialized, although I met a woman that's interesting but she is 11 years younger than I am and she lives about an hour away. I know the distance thing isn't something to get my undies in a wad about, but the age thing....I just don't know. She seemed to be really into what I was saying, but I have to admit I was being a flake to her when I asked her if our age differences bothered her and she said no and then I said it didn't bother me either only to, within 12 hours, tell her that our age differences does actually bother me. There are just two many red flags if I pursued this woman: 1. she lives in a dormitory (even though she's soon to graduate), 2. she's too young, and 3. the driving distance. Do you guys think I'm being ridiculous?
IMO about the age difference, I wouldn't see it as a problem if I were your age. (At my age, 11 years would mean someone that is 16, so that wouldn't work). :P Seriously, though, unless she is totally immature I don't see the problem. I probably wouldn't be interested in anyone 15 years younger than me in the future, so I understand that's a bit questionable, though.
Quote from: Greg on January 11, 2015, 04:28:02 AM
Ummm... don't expect any.
:-\
Quote from: Greg on January 11, 2015, 04:28:02 AMIMO about the age difference, I wouldn't see it as a problem if I were your age. (At my age, 11 years would mean someone that is 16, so that wouldn't work). :P Seriously, though, unless she is totally immature I don't see the problem. I probably wouldn't be interested in anyone 15 years younger than me in the future, so I understand that's a bit questionable, though.
I could probably get over the age thing. I mean she's beautiful, intelligent, and seems like she knows what she wants. As for the driving distance, that's still a hinderance to me and the fact that she lives in a dormitory isn't exactly hitting all the right spots. Plus, I live in a college town, I should be able to find a woman, it's just going to take more time. There are a lot of women here.
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 10, 2015, 08:55:03 PM
I don't have much to add. I met a few women online and nothing ever materialized, although I met a woman that's interesting but she is 11 years younger than I am and she lives about an hour away. I know the distance thing isn't something to get my undies in a wad about, but the age thing....I just don't know. She seemed to be really into what I was saying, but I have to admit I was being a flake to her when I asked her if our age differences bothered her and she said no and then I said it didn't bother me either only to, within 12 hours, tell her that our age differences does actually bother me. There are just two many red flags if I pursued this woman: 1. she lives in a dormitory (even though she's soon to graduate), 2. she's too young, and 3. the driving distance. Do you guys think I'm being ridiculous?
No. When I was your age the same thing bothered me about a woman. It's not just 11 years. It's 11 years, being under about 25, and her having being only a student.
Quote from: Ken B on January 11, 2015, 06:25:00 AM
No. When I was your age the same thing bothered me about a woman. It's not just 11 years. It's 11 years, being under about 25, and her having being only a student.
I'll be 12 years older than her in March, so, yes, I agree with you. I just can't get onboard with the whole idea of dating someone this much younger than me.
Here's what I wrote to her last week:
Avery, I'm going to have to be honest with you, I don't think I can date you for the following reasons:
1. You live in Marietta which is just too far for me to drive.
2. You're only 21 years old and I have thought about the age thing considerably but both of us are at two different stages in our lives and, on this basis, we wouldn't have much in common.
3. You're about to embark on a completely new life for yourself whenever you graduate college and I'm already settled down and pretty much set in my ways about many things.
All of this said, you seem like a really nice person and you're certainly easy to talk to but I'm just not going to right be for you.
All the best to you and good luck to you in whatever direction you go,
John
Quote from: Ken B on January 11, 2015, 06:25:00 AM
It's not just 11 years. It's 11 years, being under about 25, and her having being only a student.
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 11, 2015, 06:34:53 AM
I'll be 12 years older than her in March, so, yes, I agree with you. I just can't get onboard with the whole idea of dating someone this much younger than me.
Mrs. Rock was a student, 9 years younger, and living with her parents when I met her...but the relationship worked out just fine. Age difference need not be an obstacle. The bigger problem, it seems to me, is the physical distance between you and the woman.
Sarge
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on January 11, 2015, 06:46:25 AM
Mrs. Rock was a student, 9 years younger, and living with her parents when I met her...but the relationship worked out just fine. Age difference need not be an obstacle. The bigger problem, it seems to me, is the physical distance between you and the woman.
Sarge
Yeah, I could probably eventually deal with the age problem, but I think 11 years is just too large of a gap. I'm currently talking to a woman that is only 7 years younger than me and she doesn't live too far away (maybe 30 minutes). You're lucky to have found Mrs. Rock. I hope I'm as fortunate as you are in the future.
Why isn't anyone asking ME if any Drama has surfaced recently? I'm offended.
Dec.1 was the last day I saw the woman I had fallen for, when she literally 'dismissed' me in front of her new guy (remember, she had a useless drunk bf at home,- always needed a male 'escort' around to make her feel good about herself). So, I had been healing over the flippin' miserable (again) flippin' holidays, when,...
DRUMROLL PLEEEASE!!
i GOT THIS EMAIL AT 12;30am the other night...
(stay tuned for the lolz, you will not be disappointed!!)
Quote from: snyprrr on January 11, 2015, 08:03:57 AM
Why isn't anyone asking ME if any Drama has surfaced recently? I'm offended.
We have to ask? Your life is a daily drama ;D
Sarge
Quote from: snyprrr on January 11, 2015, 08:03:57 AM
Dec.1 was the last day I saw the woman I had fallen for,
You still "fall for" people? Like a crush or something? Aren't you like in your 40's or something?
Idk, the last time I actually had a genuine "crush" was at the end of high school, back in '06. I've definitely had a few girls that I was interested in since I thought they were attractive, but I wouldn't say they were crushes (or at the most, very minor crushes, though I wouldn't even give that status to the last one I was interested in). Probably a good time to ask older people (who haven't been married forever): do you still get crushes? (I think I've grown out of that by now...)
Quote from: Greg on January 11, 2015, 08:40:12 AM
You still "fall for" people? Like a crush or something? Aren't you like in your 40's or something?
Idk, the last time I actually had a genuine "crush" was at the end of high school, back in '06. I've definitely had a few girls that I was interested in since I thought they were attractive, but I wouldn't say they were crushes (or at the most, very minor crushes, though I wouldn't even give that status to the last one I was interested in). Probably a good time to ask older people (who haven't been married forever): do you still get crushes? (I think I've grown out of that by now...)
Sure, I have a new crush every week. :) You're never too old to have a crush on a woman, especially if she emits such radiant beauty.
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 12, 2015, 09:02:44 AM
Sure, I have a new crush every week. :) You're never too old to have a crush on a woman, especially if she emits such radiant beauty.
Radiant Beauty comes in various forms I hasten to add, not only physical. Had crushes up through my fifties...with decreasing frequency, but that could have been because of increased work responsibilities and fewer social contacts. I think they are healthy psychological phenomena - if one is
not subject to them I suspect that it
may indicate insufficient social engagement or possibly a negative and self-defeating attitude about potential outcomes.
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 10, 2015, 08:55:03 PM
I don't have much to add. I met a few women online and nothing ever materialized, although I met a woman that's interesting but she is 11 years younger than I am and she lives about an hour away. I know the distance thing isn't something to get my undies in a wad about, but the age thing....I just don't know. She seemed to be really into what I was saying, but I have to admit I was being a flake to her when I asked her if our age differences bothered her and she said no and then I said it didn't bother me either only to, within 12 hours, tell her that our age differences does actually bother me. There are just two many red flags if I pursued this woman: 1. she lives in a dormitory (even though she's soon to graduate), 2. she's too young, and 3. the driving distance. Do you guys think I'm being ridiculous?
To answer your question: yes.
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on January 11, 2015, 08:10:07 AM
We have to ask? Your life is a daily drama ;D
Sarge
Here's the email i received Thurs 12:30am: (complete AS WRITTEN)
have some balls
Ben, I've done this to most of the men in my life. You were another casualty in my wake. Let's call it collateral damage. But don't feel bad cause your DEFINITELY not the first, and probably not the last. Eventually, the true person comes out in me, that's when I drink WAY TOO MUCH and into a black-out and I don't realize I'm throwing myself at everyone because it makes me feel important. Shit, I got some retard at home thinking that I ever cared about him and told him the same, want to be friends. no, I haven't told him yet even though he's going for reconstructive shoulder surgery in two day. Anyway, quick remark I never hit the send but I'm doing it now.[/color]
This email was supposedly written on Dec.1, after the last time I saw her- when I was "dismissed" in front of her newest guy- as a response to my email that same night where I whined like a little bitch about being dismissed. (BTW- I assumed that the last part was written Thurs., appended to the email that apparently sat in her box for a month. WHY DID SHE SEND IT THURS.?? WHY WAIT A MONTHY??)
SO, CAN YOU GUY WHAT REALLY HAPPENED? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: (Yes, I must laugh at my own pain here) GO AHEAD, GUESSS,... I'LL BE BACH LATER...
Quote from: ZauberdrachenNr.7 on January 12, 2015, 09:17:55 AM
Radiant Beauty comes in various forms I hasten to add, not only physical. Had crushes up through my fifties...with decreasing frequency, but that could have been because of increased work responsibilities and fewer social contacts. I think they are healthy psychological phenomena - if one is not subject to them I suspect that it may indicate insufficient social engagement or possibly a negative and self-defeating attitude about potential outcomes.
Agree with you here, Zauber. They don't really mean anything as infatuations come and go. What matters is what is concrete and meaningful: getting to know the person behind the beauty.
Quote from: ZauberdrachenNr.7 on January 12, 2015, 09:20:14 AMTo answer your question: yes.
Interesting! Why do you feel this way? I'm not opposed to someone making sense, because I certainly can't count on myself in this department. :)
Quote from: snyprrr on January 12, 2015, 09:33:58 AM
Here's the email i received Thurs 12:30am: (complete AS WRITTEN)
have some balls
Ben, I've done this to most of the men in my life. You were another casualty in my wake. Let's call it collateral damage. But don't feel bad cause your DEFINITELY not the first, and probably not the last. Eventually, the true person comes out in me, that's when I drink WAY TOO MUCH and into a black-out and I don't realize I'm throwing myself at everyone because it makes me feel important. Shit, I got some retard at home thinking that I ever cared about him and told him the same, want to be friends. no, I haven't told him yet even though he's going for reconstructive shoulder surgery in two day. Anyway, quick remark I never hit the send but I'm doing it now.[/color]
This email was supposedly written on Dec.1, after the last time I saw her- when I was "dismissed" in front of her newest guy- as a response to my email that same night where I whined like a little bitch about being dismissed. (BTW- I assumed that the last part was written Thurs., appended to the email that apparently sat in her box for a month. WHY DID SHE SEND IT THURS.?? WHY WAIT A MONTHY??)
SO, CAN YOU GUY WHAT REALLY HAPPENED? :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: (Yes, I must laugh at my own pain here) GO AHEAD, GUESSS,... I'LL BE BACH LATER...
Really, why are you upset? You have dodged a bullet (heck, a grenade). Someone who cannot control themselves with alcohol AND doesn't do anything to change it themselves, well this is not someone you want to invest in. You cannot change them unless they want to change (and here it is in black and white that they don't; not to mention the way she treats those who are theoretically her closest friends). A relationship with such a person is doomed to fail.
Quote from: mc ukrneal on January 12, 2015, 09:45:59 AM
Really, why are you upset? You have dodged a bullet (heck, a grenade). Someone who cannot control themselves with alcohol AND doesn't do anything to change it themselves, well this is not someone you want to invest in. You cannot change them unless they want to change (and here it is in black and white that they don't; not to mention the way she treats those who are theoretically her closest friends). A relationship with such a person is doomed to fail.
+1 Took the words right out my mouth, Neal.
Quote from: mc ukrneal on January 12, 2015, 09:45:59 AM
Really, why are you upset? You have dodged a bullet (heck, a grenade). Someone who cannot control themselves with alcohol AND doesn't do anything to change it themselves, well this is not someone you want to invest in. You cannot change them unless they want to change (and here it is in black and white that they don't; not to mention the way she treats those who are theoretically her closest friends). A relationship with such a person is doomed to fail.
Indeed. Of course the experience is upsetting snypsss, being whip-sawed. But better a quick upset than a lingering disaster.
It's just the pain, of discovering that the Emersons really are the best in Shostakovich, that's talking . . . .
Quote from: karlhenning on January 12, 2015, 10:01:39 AM
It's just the pain, of discovering that the Emersons really are the best in Shostakovich, that's talking . . . .
:laugh: Ain't that the truth. Perhaps another 60 pages of so might help, though. 0:)
Quote from: karlhenning on January 12, 2015, 10:01:39 AM
It's just the pain, of discovering that the Emersons really are the best in Shostakovich, that's talking . . . .
Touchee....
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 10, 2015, 08:55:03 PM
I don't have much to add. I met a few women online and nothing ever materialized, although I met a woman that's interesting but she is 11 years younger than I am and she lives about an hour away. I know the distance thing isn't something to get my undies in a wad about, but the age thing....I just don't know. She seemed to be really into what I was saying, but I have to admit I was being a flake to her when I asked her if our age differences bothered her and she said no and then I said it didn't bother me either only to, within 12 hours, tell her that our age differences does actually bother me. There are just two many red flags if I pursued this woman: 1. she lives in a dormitory (even though she's soon to graduate), 2. she's too young, and 3. the driving distance. Do you guys think I'm being ridiculous?
"In a hundred years we shall be the same age!" --George Bernard Shaw,
Candida
Reminds me of one of my favourite scenes from Bowfinger
"But I worry about our age difference."
"What is age? It's a state of mind. That's the way I feel. Who cares if when I hit my sexual peak you'll be 70?"
"I know! It's Bogey and Bacall."
"Who?"
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 12, 2015, 09:36:56 AM
Interesting! Why do you feel this way? I'm not opposed to someone making sense, because I certainly can't count on myself in this department. :)
My dear good listening friend, life is experiential and an experiment (
we are nature's experiment). No writer of music or of prose sits down and creates the work he envisions - it takes some effort, work, trial and error, and with skill and luck proficiency begins to grow. Same with romantic relationships - some are even aided and abetted by the time and land mass you sought to avoid. There seemed - to me, at least - to be an initial spark to your potential relationship - why not give a flower the opportunity of blooming? I recommend putting this into action for yourself; sure, there'll be jolts along the way but even in a "perfect relationship", there's jolts and bolts and at times, revolts...so is it with almost everything we do in life. How on earth did we ever conceive the notion that romance to be
romance should meet our every expectation and quell our doubts and fears? (strains of
A Fine Romance can be heard in the background here) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TKb7JrhJpk
Quote from: ZauberdrachenNr.7 on January 13, 2015, 04:54:35 AM
My dear good listening friend, life is experiential and an experiment (we are nature's experiment). No writer of music or of prose sits down and creates the work he envisions - it takes some effort, work, trial and error, and with skill and luck proficiency begins to grow. Same with romantic relationships - some are even aided and abetted by the time and land mass you sought to avoid. There seemed - to me, at least - to be an initial spark to your potential relationship - why not give a flower the opportunity of blooming? I recommend putting this into action for yourself; sure, there'll be jolts along the way but even in a "perfect relationship", there's jolts and bolts and at times, revolts...so is it with almost everything we do in life. How on earth did we ever conceive the notion that romance to be romance should meet our every expectation and quell our doubts and fears? (strains of A Fine Romance can be heard in the background here) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TKb7JrhJpk
Brilliant post.
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 12, 2015, 09:47:51 AM
+1 Took the words right out my mouth, Neal.
Quote from: mc ukrneal on January 12, 2015, 09:45:59 AM
Really, why are you upset? You have dodged a bullet (heck, a grenade). Someone who cannot control themselves with alcohol AND doesn't do anything to change it themselves, well this is not someone you want to invest in. You cannot change them unless they want to change (and here it is in black and white that they don't; not to mention the way she treats those who are theoretically her closest friends). A relationship with such a person is doomed to fail.
Quote from: Ken B on January 12, 2015, 09:58:55 AM
Indeed. Of course the experience is upsetting snypsss, being whip-sawed. But better a quick upset than a lingering disaster.
Quote from: karlhenning on January 12, 2015, 10:01:39 AM
It's just the pain, of discovering that the Emersons really are the best in Shostakovich, that's talking . . . .
OK- LET ME finish THE STORY
So, I got this email from the girl. Well, I certainly hadn't pegged her for a blackout drunk- I've seen her in action, and I know my alcoholics, and she just didn't fit ANY profile. But, so, I was shocked. I thought she was just a HumanCobra, but now I see that she is worthy of compassion. And I know how to help in this kind of thing.
So, I wrote a little reply- just acknowledging and offering help.
And I heard nothing the next day. Thinking she may be somewhat ashamed, I (gulp) called.
KEEP IN MIND- this is the girl I allowed to crush me. I saw her last on Dec.1, when she "dismissed" me in front of this new guy. I had written an email whing- she didn't respond to the email but called me the next day. SO, THIS EMAIL WAS PURPORTEDLY WRITTEN AS A RESPONSE TO MY WHINY EMAIL, BUT WAS KEPT IN THE FOLDER FOR A MONTH AND WAS SENT LAST THURS.
HAS ANYONE FIGURED OUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED YET??? :laugh: :'( :laugh: :'( :laugh: :'(
So, she ansers the phone with the "why are you calling me?" tone. I'm like "huh?" A few more words, then she says "So, how was your XMass?" At this I balked- "Uh, you remember sending me this email last night?"
No
Sooooooooooo,... here's where I start to see God's plan.... so, it turns out that mon amour has been staying at this new guy's place, has broken up with her drunk ass boyfriend, AND AND AND
WAIT FOR IT
The old boyfriend still lives at her house, has access to her email, and VIOLA!- HE WROTE THE EMAIL (which makes sense if you read it again).
So, this girl was NOT a poor alcoholic needing help, she was fucking having a great fucking time.....
HO-LEE FUUUUUUU.....
So she has that snippy ex-wife-is-always-right tone in her voice, and then all of a sudden I unleash on her-
"You are totally full of bullshit"
"borderline socio-pathic(?) behaviour" (oh, she did NOT like being called 'sociopath'- yay for meeeee!!!!)
she said "I treated you nice"--- me "fuck, you treated me as shabbily as anyone has every treated me- for nothing no less,... you bla bla bla"
So, I gave her SOME of my mind. I actually thought I would get away without regretting some words, but I surely didn't want to give her both barrels, but, it seemed like it was meant to be. This girl is just self-entitled, turning 50/looking 33- having too much fun- and can't be bothered.
Look, at one point I did the "Oh, I hope you get everything you want in life" thing (which you're supposed to do if you're trying to get someone out of your head) but then three sentences later I was "fuck you", so, mm, that didn't quite work.
So....
Before this kerfluffle, I was blissfully unaware of mon amour's dalliance, but NOW, fuck, now i know she's giving what she PROMISED me to this schlub. :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( waaaah
So....
fuck
anyhow, did I leave out any details????
THE FACT THAT THIS EMAIL WAS WRITTEN BY THE DRUNK EX-BOYFRIEND does not mean there wasn't truth in that email. This woman is no doubt a serial flirt-soulrapist, has no real deep feelings (her dad was a fed marshal--- can you guess the power control issues she has?????)
IF I COULD HAVE SAID ONE THING TO HER:
"You are the female equivalent of a frat party gang rape."
I am now in full favour of men bringing back the back-handed-slap-across-the-mouth. I now believe this is a man's God givien right, in order to set things straight and show these self-entitled modern biotches... excuse me, 'women'.... that their insolence will not be tolerated. Men have no recourse anymore- a little Rhett would do us good I think.
Men have just lost it, and, for me, I just saw how much I had lost when trying to gain a measure of standing with this self-entitled modern American woman with not a compunction of self-responsibility ("these luscious breasts had NOTHING to do with you falling for me" "my cozy canoodling had NOTHING to do with you falling for me").
:Hell is mostly women"- old muslin saying
OH, BTW:
I HAD SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME YESTERDAY WITH AN OLD 'FRIEND' I USED TO WORK WITH. JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED THAT:
I HAD SEX YESTERDAY
SEX
I HAD IT YESTERDAY
SEX
BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN
SEX
YES, THAAAT SEX
OK- DOES THAT MEAN I GET SOME THREAD PRIZE? BEING THE FIRST ONE HERE TO... UH... SCORE? WHERE'S MY PRIZE???? (oh shit, what's that on my pecker??????)
So, Greg, I have done all this for your Thread. ;) Apparently, it CAN be done,... but, read over my pain in case you wonder how I got there. I had to whoine beg and plead with this old friend- who just wasn't gonna do it- and then all of a sudden (cause she didn't want to be like "all the other girls who tease you") she said, ok, let's do it.
LIKE PULLING TEETH IT WAS TO GET SOME GOO GOO JUICE- FUUUCK!!!!!!! >:D >:D >:D
6 FLIPPIN YEARS
HA- I HAD SEX AND NOW I'M MORE BITTER THAN BEFORE- LOOOOLZ :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
ok, ask me a question 0:)
Quote from: snyprrr on January 13, 2015, 08:20:48 AM
...6 FLIPPIN YEARS
ok, ask me a question 0:)
Yowza, Snipes! You could have become a Gregorian chant singing monk and put all that time to good use! OK, I'll ask THE question : was it good for you (and her)? Any chance of a repeat? (AND CONGRATULATIONS!)
Quote from: ZauberdrachenNr.7 on January 13, 2015, 04:54:35 AM
My dear good listening friend, life is experiential and an experiment (we are nature's experiment). No writer of music or of prose sits down and creates the work he envisions - it takes some effort, work, trial and error, and with skill and luck proficiency begins to grow. Same with romantic relationships - some are even aided and abetted by the time and land mass you sought to avoid. There seemed - to me, at least - to be an initial spark to your potential relationship - why not give a flower the opportunity of blooming? I recommend putting this into action for yourself; sure, there'll be jolts along the way but even in a "perfect relationship", there's jolts and bolts and at times, revolts...so is it with almost everything we do in life. How on earth did we ever conceive the notion that romance to be romance should meet our every expectation and quell our doubts and fears? (strains of A Fine Romance can be heard in the background here) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TKb7JrhJpk
Food for thought. Thanks, Zauber. :)
Quote from: ZauberdrachenNr.7 on January 13, 2015, 09:13:10 AM
Yowza, Snipes! You could have become a Gregorian chant singing monk and put all that time to good use! OK, I'll ask THE question : was it good for you (and her)? Any chance of a repeat? (AND CONGRATULATIONS!)
Like North Star, I am curious about the man and woman he had it between. Was one of them Moonfish? Is that why he'd prefer watching Andrei argue?
The great thing about watching Andrei argue is you'll never have to wait six years.
Quote from: snyprrr on January 13, 2015, 08:20:48 AM
SEX
I HAD IT YESTERDAY
SEX
BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN
SEX
YES, THAAAT SEX
OK- DOES THAT MEAN I GET SOME THREAD PRIZE? BEING THE FIRST ONE HERE TO... UH... SCORE? WHERE'S MY PRIZE???? (oh shit, what's that on my pecker??????)
So, Greg, I have done all this for your Thread. ;) Apparently, it CAN be done,... but, read over my pain in case you wonder how I got there. I had to whoine beg and plead with this old friend- who just wasn't gonna do it- and then all of a sudden (cause she didn't want to be like "all the other girls who tease you") she said, ok, let's do it.
LIKE PULLING TEETH IT WAS TO GET SOME GOO GOO JUICE- FUUUCK!!!!!!! >:D >:D >:D
6 FLIPPIN YEARS
HA- I HAD SEX AND NOW I'M MORE BITTER THAN BEFORE- LOOOOLZ :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
ok, ask me a question 0:)
Better than the Emersons playing Shostakovich isn't it?
Quote from: snyprrr on January 13, 2015, 08:20:48 AM
SEX
I HAD IT YESTERDAY
SEX
BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN
SEX
YES, THAAAT SEX
OK- DOES THAT MEAN I GET SOME THREAD PRIZE? BEING THE FIRST ONE HERE TO... UH... SCORE? WHERE'S MY PRIZE???? (oh shit, what's that on my pecker??????)
So, Greg, I have done all this for your Thread. ;) Apparently, it CAN be done,... but, read over my pain in case you wonder how I got there. I had to whoine beg and plead with this old friend- who just wasn't gonna do it- and then all of a sudden (cause she didn't want to be like "all the other girls who tease you") she said, ok, let's do it.
LIKE PULLING TEETH IT WAS TO GET SOME GOO GOO JUICE- FUUUCK!!!!!!! >:D >:D >:D
6 FLIPPIN YEARS
HA- I HAD SEX AND NOW I'M MORE BITTER THAN BEFORE- LOOOOLZ :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
ok, ask me a question 0:)
??? Congratulations?
So this woman is someone you used to work with but is this a case of completely no strings attached and having a good time or does she want to date you and have a relationship?
Hmm, okay, well, good to hear, I suppose. 6 years isn't long IMO.
Quote from: Greg on January 13, 2015, 07:13:35 PM
Hmm, okay, well, good to hear, I suppose. 6 years isn't long IMO.
oh for fucks sake Greg- IT'S A LOOOOOONG TIME!!!!!!!! :laugh:
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 13, 2015, 06:22:46 PM
??? Congratulations?
So this woman is someone you used to work with but is this a case of completely no strings attached and having a good time or does she want to date you and have a relationship?
You know what?- again, it was like flippin' pulling teeth- but then, all of a sudden she was like, ok, let's do it...
yea, it was vacillating between "nsa" and "I want to be in love"- and I looked at her and was like I'm not going to marry you for sex you crazy _____-
anyway-
yea, it was... no, I'm still in shock... why that day?... I seek answers... why thaaat day???...
so, there it was,... happening,... and I'm like, "Hey, thiiis is fun" I'm thinking to myself... woo hoo...
It didn't last too long because yon lady hadn't had it in 6 years either and got a bit sore quickly,- but said it was better than expected,... oh, and yea,... your boy snyprrr apparently has... you know,... wink wink,...
ack- nothing like "first" sex to make you feel like a giggling high schooler,...I feel like you're all gathered around me to hear my tale of far away lands, haha,... which, around here, I guess IS far away lands,... oh, I feels for ya...
REMEMBER THAT VIDEO A FEW PAGES BACK,... WITH THE CHART???? This girl fits squarely into the "Danger" category: 1) ex-stripper 2) drunk 3) raped childhood 4) "Glass Menagerie" 5) anti-d
So, yea,... uh,... duh,..... she's a few rungs lower than what I had hoped for, but, apparently WATER SEEKS ITS OWN LEVEL,... oy,...
oh,... and the karaoke djs wife gave me her number ::) aye aye aye (head shake)
I HAVE VERY SPECIFICALLY LEARNED NOW TO NOT TALK TOO MUCH. Apparently, if you give me too much time, I start to talk deep shit which women don't go for- they would rather you LOOK hot and DO hot things--- but they don't want you to TALK!!!
and yet they want to be "friends" ::) I now know that that means that they want you to be their gay lap dog guy,... just listening and nodding,... and then, once a month when their hormones are raging, you get a quick 3 minutes,...
SERIOUSLY GUYS- THE ONE THING YOU CAN DO is go out and get some fancy clothes (even at Goodwill),... and if you LOOK like the Mack Daddy, that's your only job (AND keep your mouth shut).
LOOK YOUR BEST-----KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT
and maybe in the next six years....
And yes, it did give me my swagger back- I'm looking at every woman with that look, and they know it, and like it! Yea baby!!
FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT?
YAY... SEX!!!!!!!!!! woo hoo party time excellent
Well, snyprrr, I don't know what to say other than best of luck in an ill-intended attempt to earn back your 'manhood' or whatever that means. ::) Personally, if I'm not going to be myself, I would rather not be anyone. I'm looking for something a lot more than just sex. Sex without love is meaningless IMHO.
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 14, 2015, 07:11:18 PM
Sex without love is meaningless IMHO.
Yes but as meaningless experiences go, it's one of the best.
(Stolen from Woody Allen)
If a girl is sexy and behaves sexy (tough), I love her.
Maybe because I want to have so many ones, I get none. That's the deal. :)
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 14, 2015, 07:11:18 PM
Well, snyprrr, I don't know what to say other than best of luck in an ill-intended attempt to earn back your 'manhood' or whatever that means. ::) Personally, if I'm not going to be myself, I would rather not be anyone. I'm looking for something a lot more than just sex. Sex without love is meaningless IMHO.
Don't you get it? You WILL Love the girl who
finally gives you sex!! See how that works?
As much as I see this girl Damaged Goods, and couldn't seriously see putting up with her dementia, I do give her enormous props for being the ONE girl to "take one for the team". Of course, she had naught to lose, but, still, I consider it somewhat of a 'Sacrifice'. That's all i'm seeking, Sacrifice, not Sex (though, it appears, that Sex IS the sacrifice for women, sooo...). You have to give me something of value, like i gave you something of value (my "feelings", cause, that's what they want, your soul). If kissing is a big deal to me, but not her, then, in kssing her, you have gained no Sacrifice: she'll kiss "anyone". BUT, if her kiss is Sacred, just getting her kiss means everything. So...
Who Here Will Admit to Being A Momma's Boy? Eh?I certainly qualify. What I mean, John, is that, maybe, some of us manly men have grown up in broken/modern families and were really only given a certain, flawed outlook on the sexes (who here remembers the battle of the sexes in the '50s?), so, I'm saying that maybe many men have been brought up with a Feminized way of looking at "Love".
Sex isn't Love to the rake,... BUT, to schlubs like US... yes, US... Sex IS Love, because the girl who finally GIVES you the sex you so heartily crave, you will NO DOUBT LOOOOOOOOOVE her. No? See my point, rock star sex junkie? (you're NOT, right? meaning, you can't just pick up cooter like it was a Snickers wrapper on the sidewalk, RIGHT??? Sooo,... have you 'loved' all the girls you've had? How many?... In other words, if getting Sex is like the Holy Grail of tasks, then, the girl (even if she's a hooker you fall in love with) who finally does, ACTUALLY, have sex with you, well, wow, she must be really something, eh? So, ergo, you WILL love her.
Eh?
THE GIRL will not fuck the boy until she trusts him...
THE BOY will not trust the girl until he fucks her.truth hurts
See, Damaged Goods Girl, for all her tremendous faults, knows at least Something about the Pain of Man, which Society Girl seems oblivious to (or actively seeks to foster).
HOW DOES THE DONG GO?? "IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE..."
?????????
??????
See, I was right! Snyprrr is actually starting to calm down... you can tell because his post actually contains paragraphs and the smileys are at the very end.
snyprr, I know you're on Cloud Nine (or whichever) right now, but as a friend I have to say this: What you've got now is not love. It's just a temporarily fulfilled craving. Probably the same for her. Don't make more of this than there is--or if you do, be prepared for an intense time of personal growth. :-\ :laugh:
Quote from: jochanaan on January 15, 2015, 08:06:57 AM
-or if you do, be prepared for an intense time of personal growth. :-\ :laugh:
Ha! Well put!
I agree with snyprrr in so far that normal, "civilized" ways of looking to and practizing sex, isn't my kind also. I have my own kind of sexuality. 0:)
Quote from: snyprrr on January 15, 2015, 07:21:09 AM
Don't you get it? You WILL Love the girl who finally gives you sex!! See how that works?
As much as I see this girl Damaged Goods, and couldn't seriously see putting up with her dementia, I do give her enormous props for being the ONE girl to "take one for the team". Of course, she had naught to lose, but, still, I consider it somewhat of a 'Sacrifice'. That's all i'm seeking, Sacrifice, not Sex (though, it appears, that Sex IS the sacrifice for women, sooo...). You have to give me something of value, like i gave you something of value (my "feelings", cause, that's what they want, your soul). If kissing is a big deal to me, but not her, then, in kssing her, you have gained no Sacrifice: she'll kiss "anyone". BUT, if her kiss is Sacred, just getting her kiss means everything. So...
Who Here Will Admit to Being A Momma's Boy? Eh?
I certainly qualify. What I mean, John, is that, maybe, some of us manly men have grown up in broken/modern families and were really only given a certain, flawed outlook on the sexes (who here remembers the battle of the sexes in the '50s?), so, I'm saying that maybe many men have been brought up with a Feminized way of looking at "Love".
Sex isn't Love to the rake,... BUT, to schlubs like US... yes, US... Sex IS Love, because "the girl who finally GIVES you the sex you so heartily crave, you will NO DOUBT LOOOOOOOOOVE her." No? See my point, rock star sex junkie? (you're NOT, right? meaning, you can't just pick up cooter like it was a Snickers wrapper on the sidewalk, RIGHT??? Sooo,... have you 'loved' all the girls you've had? How many?... In other words, if getting Sex is like the Holy Grail of tasks, then, the girl (even if she's a hooker you fall in love with) who finally does, ACTUALLY, have sex with you, well, wow, she must be really something, eh? So, ergo, you WILL love her.
Eh?
THE GIRL will not fuck the boy until she trusts him...
THE BOY will not trust the girl until he fucks her.
truth hurts
See, Damaged Goods Girl, for all her tremendous faults, knows at least Something about the Pain of Man, which Society Girl seems oblivious to (or actively seeks to foster).
HOW DOES THE DONG GO?? "IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE..."
?????????
??????
I think Greg and MI don't agree with this, because they will consider themselves hopeless. What about you?
I think you should be attracted to a girl, chemically, already before having sex. Good sex is the reward.
Quote from: snyprrr on January 15, 2015, 07:21:09 AM
THE GIRL will not fuck the boy until she trusts him...
THE BOY will not trust the girl until he fucks her.
truth hurts
Nice speaking. The most important thing however is sexual tension, that has little to do with someting more obvious as trust. A girl wants to feel safety, but that's only a precondition.
Quote from: Henk on January 15, 2015, 08:45:04 AM
I think you should be attracted to a girl, chemically already before having sex.
That's what I agree with 100%.
Post-high school, although I've expressed interest in 3 different girls, I've had 4 different girls express interest in me, but just couldn't bring myself to date them because I just wasn't interested in them. I wouldn't say that they are utterly physically unattractive, but some people just don't catch your eye or have anything especially captivating about their personality to want to spend time and money dating them. And since you would never fantasize about them, why would you do it in real life? It just doesn't seem worth it if even the thought of kissing them just makes you feel uncomfortable.
IMO if snyprrr feels like it's some sort of victory and is satisfied/enjoyed it, that's fine and there's nothing else to say... but for me, I just couldn't do it if someone else was not attractive enough on the inside and outside.
Quote from: snyprrr on January 15, 2015, 07:21:09 AM
THE BOY will not trust the girl until [sexual congress].
truth hurts
Truth is, that is one sorry boy.
Quote from: Greg on January 15, 2015, 09:04:58 AM
That's what I agree with 100%.
Post-high school, although I've expressed interest in 3 different girls, I've had 4 different girls express interest in me, but just couldn't bring myself to date them because I just wasn't interested in them. I wouldn't say that they are utterly physically unattractive, but some people just don't catch your eye or have anything especially captivating about their personality to want to spend time and money dating them. And since you would never fantasize about them, why would you do it in real life? It just doesn't seem worth it if even the thought of kissing them just makes you feel uncomfortable.
IMO if snyprrr feels like it's some sort of victory and is satisfied/enjoyed it, that's fine and there's nothing else to say... but for me, I just couldn't do it if someone else was not attractive enough on the inside and outside.
Good to have some high standards, instead of fucking what you can get. Fully agree :). However I see myself loving a girl as well if she is handsome and just very sweet and kind. Also this I find attractive. It's mainly the man who should make sex good, lead the girl.
Listen to some Prince. I dig his music very much. :)
http://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2014/sep/02/listen-prince-u-know-whitecaps-3rd-eye-girl (http://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2014/sep/02/listen-prince-u-know-whitecaps-3rd-eye-girl)
Who here likes to cunnilingus (what a strange word in English)? I consider men who don't like this is not very virile. However this is just my opinion.
Some interesting positions ;):
Woman on top
Woman sitting on man's shoulder against a wall.
Woman sitting on a chair.
Quote from: Henk on January 15, 2015, 09:25:24 AM
Good to have some high standards, instead of fucking what you can get. Fully agree :). However I see myself loving a girl as well if she is handsome and just very sweet and kind. Also this I find attractive. It's mainly the man who should make sex good, lead the girl.
To add: A girl that is not very sexy, but sweet for instance, could actually be very wild or passionate in bed. You can't say on forehand, that's what's makes it unpredictable and interesting.
Quote from: jochanaan on January 15, 2015, 08:06:57 AM
snyprr, I know you're on Cloud Nine (or whichever) right now, but as a friend I have to say this: What you've got now is not love. It's just a temporarily fulfilled craving. Probably the same for her. Don't make more of this than there is--or if you do, be prepared for an intense time of personal growth. :-\ :laugh:
No, trust me, it was most definitely nothing special.
Keep in mind, I was over the moon trying to get a KISS out of that one,... and no, there's weren't any heart palpitations with this one,...
I actually ran into the shunned one last night, talking to my carribean(?sp) lady friend (who's been there the whole time seeing what's been going on). I would have just walked out without any of them seeing me, but, I haaaad to make my presence known, so I tapped my black friend on the shoulder (so of course they all saw) and walked away. I came back a few hours later- the B was gone, but my black friend was still there, and she said the B was just acting totally clueless about the whole thing (which she is NOT)- but the B's new guy (the guy I was "dismissed" in front of Dec.1) was there, and I caught how B had lied to him about something frivolous- the sociopathy coming out.
Anyway- I am still deeply hurt by this... floozy!! I really want to write a nice long email, getting all of it out- just for me- don't want a reply,... what do you think? Technically, I'm supposed to just drop it- I like to make sure I've said my peace.
anyhoo...
fuuu... kinda feeling like I got a dirty diaper on... the shat upon feeling... I AM struggling with forgiveness vs revenge (though, it is His job, not mine)...
CAN I TELL YOU--
This B girl... after I'd met her and things had been heating up (Nov.), I realized what was happening and told her the 'Scorioin and the Turtle' story. At the end she said, "So, I'm the turtle, right?" mmm ::)
I did want to reply to Greg and MI and all,... I do need my support group,... but I'm feeling burdoned by my weakness this morn,... the Good Book says not to give "your strength unto women", which is exactly what I've done- when you do this you get nothing in return...
when I saw her last night, from behind, recognized the hair,... I couldn't even look at her. I shot the guy a furtive glance (didn't recog me)... I'm not the kind to throw people away, out of hand, but here I must, and it does hurt, even if this woman is by no means worth it.
I'm just a rambly mess this morning :(
Can we talk penis size? What's the first thing that pops into your mind? :laugh: uh boy ::)...
Quote from: snyprrr on January 16, 2015, 07:09:01 AM
Can we talk penis size? What's the first thing that pops into your mind? :laugh: uh boy ::)...
An indulgent pity for the rest of you. 8) :laugh:
oh, and btw- the woman I had fiddle faddle with was a... jew... whoop!, there goes my BSD!! ;) be sure to tell Todd or Brian or whomever it is who's always railing me in the zziioo dept.- for those of you who were wondering if my congress was good for yissyrel or not... oy vey indeed...
Quote from: Ken B on January 16, 2015, 07:13:32 AM
An indulgent pity for the rest of you. 8) :laugh:
haha, you answered too quickly!!- hmmm,... so?
...waiting...
My thoughts are that... well,... you're right,... nevermind :laugh:
I see Karl, and sarge, and Henk all lurking in the wings,... wink wink!! ;)
Quote from: snyprrr on January 16, 2015, 07:21:09 AM
I see Karl, and sarge, ... lurking in the wings,... wink wink!! ;)
The last thing Elgar fans want is to get into a discussion of penis size. >:D :laugh:
Quote from: snyprrr on January 16, 2015, 07:09:01 AM
... I really want to write a nice long email, getting all of it out- just for me- don't want a reply,... what do you think?...
Write it in NotePad. Then delete it. ;D That way you get it out of your system without actually risking hurt or harm to anyone. Yourself included. :o ;D
Quote from: jochanaan on January 16, 2015, 07:59:05 AM
Write it in NotePad. Then delete it. ;D That way you get it out of your system without actually risking hurt or harm to anyone. Yourself included. :o ;D
that's what the guide says
"As much as you have to say, and want to, and think it's right, don't."
Actively doing 'nothing' is life's challenge?
You know, ... I wonder if there's an herbal remedy for me? ;) :D ;D :laugh:
Quote from: Ken B on January 16, 2015, 07:34:41 AM
The last thing Elgar fans want is to get into a discussion of penis size. >:D :laugh:
POST OF THE CENTURY
Quote from: snyprrr on January 16, 2015, 07:21:09 AM
I see Karl, and sarge, and Henk all lurking in the wings,... wink wink!! ;)
Bloodpenis.. :)
Quote from: Mirror Image on January 14, 2015, 07:11:18 PM
Personally, if I'm not going to be myself, I would rather not be anyone.
I like that philosophy.
Just some ideas...
I think once I get my career going and have been working maybe 3-4 years into it, I'll seriously consider getting into Japan via first teaching English. I would prefer getting straight into programming there, but Japanese is such a difficult language- you'd need it to work well with others, and even five more years of study might not be enough. After living there long enough, developing my Japanese skills, I could consider getting back into programming.
I mention this here because by the time I might move there, I'll be in my early to nearly mid 30's. Besides wanting to live there in general, the women would be a major factor in wanting to move there. The combination of finding Western men desirable + having less experience than American women is perfect. The thing about American women is that they're so much more active that it's a huge problem if their your first, and your their 21st. Not that that's a dealbreaker, but it's just such a huge difference in levels that it's really bothering to think about.
That's some crazy planning, Greg. Have you ever lived abroad for a long period of time?
Quote from: Artem on February 14, 2015, 08:10:00 PM
That's some crazy planning, Greg. Have you ever lived abroad for a long period of time?
I haven't been out of the USA. I do realize and keep in mind the chance that doing so could possibly lead to enough headache that it's not worth it, but I'd make sure to visit a few times before moving. The amazing thing about other countries, especially ones that are extremely different, is that mundane things become interesting. That's the appeal. My surroundings are just ridiculously boring (though there are some major exceptions). To be excited to go to a convenience store because all of the foods are different is very attractive.
That is true. But in terms of dating, I think it may not be the best option. Foreigners are rarely accepted into locals' social circles and your stereotype about Western men being more desirable, etc. is wrong, I think. Unless you're willing to get with somebody desperate and problematic. Of course, there're individual exceptions, but you plan seems like a very troubling gamble.
Quote from: Artem on February 14, 2015, 08:46:08 PM
That is true. But in terms of dating, I think it may not be the best option. Foreigners are rarely accepted into locals' social circles and your stereotype about Western men being more desirable, etc. is wrong, I think.
Nah, he's actually right about those things. And it shouldn't be hard to make friends unless you're a total creeper.
Quote from: Artem on February 14, 2015, 08:46:08 PM
That is true. But in terms of dating, I think it may not be the best option. Foreigners are rarely accepted into locals' social circles and your stereotype about Western men being more desirable, etc. is wrong, I think. Unless you're willing to get with somebody desperate and problematic. Of course, there're individual exceptions, but you plan seems like a very troubling gamble.
Well, regardless, it may be worth a try. At the very least, I'd get to live in Japan for a few years and could just come back if I want.
I dunno, I've heard from many different sources about Japanese women being very interested in Western men, and the same goes for various countries in East Asia. Not like they'll be throwing their panties at you when you get off the plane, but I hear there's plenty of interest. Just gotta avoid the so-called "gaijin hunters," which I've heard weird stories about. :P Of course, you have to know that they are interested in you personally, not just because you're your nationality.
As for the social circles thing, that can be a challenge, especially because of the language barrier. But as a whole, from what I've heard, it seems like Western guys who go there have a way easier time with women then the Japanese do themselves. :-X
Quote from: The Six on February 14, 2015, 09:04:29 PM
Nah, he's actually right about those things. And it shouldn't be hard to make friends unless you're a total creeper.
Good to hear. ;D
I mean, I wouldn't advise anyone to go there with the expectation that you can just pick up any woman you want, but as a foreigner, chances are you'll have an easier time than you do in your home country. Basically if you're a stud here, you'll be a bigger one there, and if you're a hopeless goober here, you might have slightly more success.
Of course, you should actually learn the language and respect the culture, no matter what reason you're going there for.
Quote from: The Six on February 14, 2015, 09:20:00 PM
I mean, I wouldn't advise anyone to go there with the expectation that you can just pick up any woman you want, but as a foreigner, chances are you'll have an easier time than you do in your home country. Basically if you're a stud here, you'll be a bigger one there, and if you're a hopeless goober here, you might have slightly more success.
Of course, you should actually learn the language and respect the culture, no matter what reason you're going there for.
That's exactly what I had in mind. Good to hear it from someone who's been there. Seems like by then I'd get plenty of attention, then, especially considering 5 more years of weight training, knowledge of language/culture, career, etc.
Quote from: Greg on February 15, 2015, 05:07:48 AM
5 more years
Screw that... maybe just 3 more years. Will try to do the course as soon as I graduate.
This is what I like (http://www.titantalk.com/forums/attachments/off-topic-discussion/69349d1228422467-boobies-saki-tsuji-japanese-av-idol-big-breast-2.jpg)
(don't worry, safe to click)
;D
Of course, personality is far more important, but dating a girl that looks something like that is definitely something I will have to do.
Whoa. I could go straight there after I graduate, too. Like in a year. ???
After you get your bachelor's, it's "paid training in Japan." Good lord. Something to think about.
http://www.aeonet.com/application-requirements/
Quote from: The Six on February 14, 2015, 09:04:29 PM
Nah, he's actually right about those things. And it shouldn't be hard to make friends unless you're a total creeper.
The experience of my friends and remoter family members who went ot Japan and Korea to teach agrees.
Quote from: Ken B on February 15, 2015, 11:30:22 AM
The experience of my friends and remoter family members who went ot Japan and Korea to teach agrees.
;D
The Six, did you ever get to go back to Japan?
No, I don't really want to do the teaching English thing there, and it can be difficult for a foreigner to get any other mind of job there. I'll be going back someday, though.
Quote from: The Six on February 16, 2015, 08:03:09 AM
No, I don't really want to do the teaching English thing there, and it can be difficult for a foreigner to get any other mind of job there. I'll be going back someday, though.
True, and that's probably the biggest con. Although you can make decent money teaching English in Japan, I'll have my degree in Software Development at the end of this year, and programming as a career can make me way more money.
So probably just best to try it for 6 months to a year (depends on the contract), and if I don't like it, at least
try to get a programming job in Japan or just go back to the states if that doesn't work out (and start my programming career in the US). A year there could solve several different things for me at once.
Quote from: Greg on February 16, 2015, 08:27:20 AM
A year there could solve several different things for me at once.
A year is definitely what I should do. At least.
But what if I taught English there for maybe 3-5 years and decided to work as a programmer? Maybe even in Japan (what if I wanted to stay)? I will have at the very most a year of experience once I graduate, because one of my classes this semester is work for a company, my last semester might involve an internship, and I already have a month of experience for another company. Claiming a year would be a bit of a stretch, but whatever, I'd round up.
The whole problem is the scenario that I could find it hard to find a job if I don't get into the field quick enough. Waiting a year should be no problem. 3-5 years, though...?
Greg, just do ........ something. ;)
Going back and forth with the English teaching in Japan idea. Will probably take me at least a month to decide, thinking about it every day. Ugh...
Keep learning more Japanese, as knowing Japanese as well as possible certainly helps you to teach Japanese English. I would also recommend learning (even) more about Japanese culture, art & history. Have you read In Praise of Shadows?
Quote from: North Star on February 23, 2015, 12:08:40 PM
Keep learning more Japanese, as knowing Japanese as well as possible certainly helps you to teach Japanese English. I would also recommend learning (even) more about Japanese culture, art & history. Have you read In Praise of Shadows?
Haven't read it. I'll keep studying regardless, but wouldn't expect to even be near fluent any time soon, despite the fact that I first started studying about 14 years ago.
There's just such a ridiculous number of factors, uncertainties and things to consider. Both options are going to be waaaaaay better than my current situation, so regardless, I win, but it's just a matter of choosing the best option. 10 months until I graduate...
Okay... probably the very best choice is work in my career here in the US after I graduate for one year and then consider if I still want to do the whole teaching English in Japan experiment. That's the safest plan. By then I'll be 29, so still young, right? (I've heard of certain agencies actually having a cutoff age of 40 for ALT's ??? ) (then again, if I had the very unlikely and unfortunate situation of not being able to find a job in my field, this will be a backup plan) ;)
Sorry for continuously bumping up this thread about something off-topic (for the most part), even though it's my own thread. :-X
So I'm wondering if there's public places one could perform their own music live- as in, anyone can perform their stuff. The only idea that comes to mind is something like Guitar Center, maybe, but I honestly have no ideas, probably since I don't get to get out much.
Would that be a good way of meeting people? I don't see many opportunities with women in the field I'm going into, and I've considered karate, but I probably couldn't stick with it long-term since I'm not very interested in it.
Of course, I'd have to write the music first. I'm thinking of a half-hour work for me playing guitar solo, backed up by a music recording. Probably prog metal-ish type of style, all instrumental. Of course, there's options such as playing in someone's home (or my future house), but I was wondering where you could do something like that publicly.
Quote from: Greg on February 26, 2015, 05:51:45 PM
So I'm wondering if there's public places one could perform their own music live- as in, anyone can perform their stuff. The only idea that comes to mind is something like Guitar Center, maybe, but I honestly have no ideas, probably since I don't get to get out much.
Would that be a good way of meeting people? I don't see many opportunities with women in the field I'm going into, and I've considered karate, but I probably couldn't stick with it long-term since I'm not very interested in it.
Of course, I'd have to write the music first. I'm thinking of a half-hour work for me playing guitar solo, backed up by a music recording. Probably prog metal-ish type of style, all instrumental. Of course, there's options such as playing in someone's home (or my future house), but I was wondering where you could do something like that publicly.
Talk to abookstore if there are any left near you. I have seen that sort of thing done.
Quote from: Ken B on February 26, 2015, 05:59:35 PM
Talk to abookstore if there are any left near you. I have seen that sort of thing done.
Good idea. Maybe in the next few years, before they all shut down, in a city environment I can see them allowing that.
Oh yeah... the library, too. Possibly even my local one, in the same room where I went to the piano recital with the pianist playing Mozart and Schubert, me being the only young person among 50+ old people.
I seriously don't understand how people "meet," period. It's like some sort of secret that I'm the only one not aware of.
Hopefully I keep looking younger than I am... there's a girl in my class that sits on the other side of the room, and can't be any older than 20. Pretty much has the ideal look, especially with a cute and innocent looking expression. Sort of like a real life Keiko (the brunette in my avatar). Older women, especially with tons of experience- not so much my style.
Just realized I never even mentioned on this thread getting asked out by a girl a few months ago.
A girl I worked with used to flirt with me all the time. (And I have to say to girls who complain about getting hit on constantly (with the exception of aggressive instances)): "screw you." Seriously, it's great. Though the old guy I work with doing that to me still is starting to get a bit annoying at this point...
Anyways, we were joking around and she said in some monster voice, "you wanna go out and eat at __?" (don't remember the restaurant). I didn't give a yes or no answer, which is my way of saying no... soon after, she starts officially dating her friend and hasn't been flirting me with since.
I just wasn't into her. I mean, she wasn't ugly (probably at least a 5 in appearance), but... between her weight and her personality, it just wasn't there. The former could be solved by taking her to the gym with me since it's just a tad too much for me but not extremely bad; the latter is more problematic because she acts more like a dude than a girl. So talking to her is great, but those feminine qualities just aren't there. I mean, walking like a guy and then casually burping loudly and saying that you have to take a dump is not attractive for a girl to do IMO.
So, it appears that the one girl that I was interested in since late last year doesn't care for my goatee. Last night she said that she would think I'm cute it if weren't for the goatee and she couldn't kiss me because of it because it reminds her too much of her dad. Ugh... :-[
I guess that's the good thing about spending plenty of time alone with a drunk girl: the honesty. Or maybe she's just seeing things. ;D Talk about a nice but crazy drunk. Good lord... and honestly, I would be a bit scared to date her just because that would mean consistently having to drive my car to her house through this dirt road that is the most insane dirt road I've ever seen. I'm almost terrified just thinking about it, being way too rough on a small car that I don't want destroyed.
But, then again... wondering if shaving the moustache part would be enough. ;D
Terrifying.
Quote from: Greg on March 01, 2015, 05:21:40 AM
So, it appears that the one girl that I was interested in since late last year doesn't care for my goatee. Last night she said that she would think I'm cute it if weren't for the goatee and she couldn't kiss me because of it because it reminds her too much of her dad. Ugh... :-[
I guess that's the good thing about spending plenty of time alone with a drunk girl: the honesty. Or maybe she's just seeing things. ;D Talk about a nice but crazy drunk. Good lord... and honestly, I would be a bit scared to date her just because that would mean consistently having to drive my car to her house through this dirt road that is the most insane dirt road I've ever seen. I'm almost terrified just thinking about it, being way too rough on a small car that I don't want destroyed.
But, then again... wondering if shaving the moustache part would be enough. ;D
Didn't I tell that I met a girl at the Indian restaurant who... turned out to be... a... porn star. Yes. :(,... and no,... oy,... almost makes the previous shit seem like chicklets. She looked sooooo innocent, like 'Little House on the Prairie', with a dress, I mean, you just can't believe,... awesome anime breasts,... and then the revelation,...
so, I'm 0-1000 at this point :'(
I mean, yes, we DID have two separate five minute sessions with The Mrs. Batshit,... this girl is reeeally crazy, must apply 'Hit It & Quit It',... though, she's supposed to be an old friend,...
anyhow,
Greg,
The Goatee
ffs, yes, please, understand, It Must Go Now,... yes, men really do need some hair on their face to keep from looking like old lesbians (Lindsay Graham?), but, the current crop on men's styling choices is 'Pussy Around Your Mouth' goatee, or hitpster beard.
Please, Greg, get rid of the vagina around your mouth, Is what the poor dear girl was saying.
MOI- I HAVE A NATURAL GOATEE ALONE- I LOOK GREAT WITH all my natural "beard"- minus the strays- because I have zilch on the sides- yes, I'm very delicate and pretty (with a ravaged teen's scars of course!!)- so, if i don't have my stubs, I look like a girl (I'd fuck me ???)
OK, five minutes staring at screen looking for point- point is, my 'Clint Eastwood' needs to stay in the Don Johnson range, dirt on my face, and I must scissor trim every day to keep the exact length- if I let it go, out come Gen. Custer!!,... also, I have natural handlebars which I of course disengage,...
So, I HAVE ONE BASIC LOOK, AND MUST KEEP TO IT, just like the guy with the pencil thin moustache, Hitler, Mr. Muttonchop, and anyone who's "Look" is based on a 'Classic' face hair pattern that never wavers (ever seen Clint with a stache????- what about Burt Reynolds WITHOUT??)
So, Greg, DO WHATEVER YON DEAR YOUNG LASS TELLS YOU TO DO- tell her, if you're my girl, you get to choose how I look (as long as I can handle it)- I mean, if you're going to kiss her a lot, and she wants clean shaven, well, then, that's what you do. RIGHT???
As I recall, you have a basic 'Perp Face' (lolz)- meaning, "General Typical Male"- dark hair, fair/pale skin (I don't mean you're pale)- frat boy look- you have a very narrow window for expressing yourself. HERE ARE MY WORDS OF WISDOM- let you (and maybe with the help of your friend) maybe look through galleries, and agree on the look that best suits your face and your goal/aim, and then maintain it on a daily basis. I like to get a small pair of very sharp scissors. Watch the neck hair!!
I don't know, how silly is all that?
Well, at least you've got a girl commenting of your shit. But, make it known that you'll only change for your gal, and not until she is!! ;)
(I think women really see any form of the modern/egyptian goatee as some kind of hideous vadge- I mean, yukkk :P- who wants to kiss that shit??)
I just saw an old '70s flick that had a literal porn "insert" for a few seconds, on a lady spreading her labies- a 1970s lady!!!!- yes, the flippin hair is going down the ass cheeks and thighs and this lady had the most horrendously overlit roast beef flaps looking soooo--- ggg---gggg---gg--I just threw up a little in my mouth :(
anyhow, yea, just look at some '70s porn and you'll be cured right quick....
as far as your junk goes, aye, if you want the Modern Woman going anywhere near that with her FACE ??? :o ???- you better make sure it looks like something out of the porn SHE'S seen, post-'90s Porn, yea, you know what that means, doncha buddy!! :laugh: I'm just gagging uncontrollably thinking about your shit right now, oh yukk, :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:--- fuckin trim that shit up- I can just tell you're a hairy mf ---ohhh ngg ggggg gggg ----excuse me---
ah, I hope you're as entertained as I am!! ;) :D
you got back hair, dont ya? :-[
I met a porn star. wow,... and yea, they were tearing her shit riiight up- you bet it gives you the willies- "Hey, my girl's labes and ass look pretty chewed up, why is that?....oh yea" :( :'(
WHAT IF YOU KNEW YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN (BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD DO IT)- what would you do?
well that was depressing
ah, girls :blank:
can I bring up yoga pants? :laugh: :'(
Quote from: Artem on March 01, 2015, 12:12:04 PM
Terrifying.
Indeed. I terrify myself sometimes.
Quote from: snyprrr on March 01, 2015, 01:33:27 PM
As I recall, you have a basic 'Perp Face' (lolz)- meaning, "General Typical Male"- dark hair, fair/pale skin (I don't mean you're pale)- frat boy look- you have a very narrow window for expressing yourself. HERE ARE MY WORDS OF WISDOM- let you (and maybe with the help of your friend) maybe look through galleries, and agree on the look that best suits your face and your goal/aim, and then maintain it on a daily basis. I like to get a small pair of very sharp scissors. Watch the neck hair!!
Oh, I've had this same style for years. Very basic goatee, no side or neck hair. Just like this:
http://www.wallpapergremlin.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Ben-Affleck-New-Goatee-Desktop-Photo.jpg
I'd go from looking metal to looking like a boy band member in a day, but she's the type that would prefer the latter... but that doesn't really matter- matters more what one person thinks, anyways.
Quote from: snyprrr on March 01, 2015, 01:33:27 PM
(I think women really see any form of the modern/egyptian goatee as some kind of hideous vadge- I mean, yukkk :P- who wants to kiss that shit??)
Egyptian goatee just sounds ridiculously metal. 8)
Quote from: snyprrr on March 01, 2015, 01:33:27 PM
I just saw an old '70s flick that had a literal porn "insert" for a few seconds, on a lady spreading her labies- a 1970s lady!!!!- yes, the flippin hair is going down the ass cheeks and thighs and this lady had the most horrendously overlit roast beef flaps looking soooo--- ggg---gggg---gg--I just threw up a little in my mouth :(
anyhow, yea, just look at some '70s porn and you'll be cured right quick....
Yeah, ewwww....
Quote from: snyprrr on March 01, 2015, 01:33:27 PM
as far as your junk goes, aye, if you want the Modern Woman going anywhere near that with her FACE ??? :o ???- you better make sure it looks like something out of the porn SHE'S seen, post-'90s Porn, yea, you know what that means, doncha buddy!! :laugh: I'm just gagging uncontrollably thinking about your shit right now, oh yukk, :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:--- fuckin trim that shit up- I can just tell you're a hairy mf ---ohhh ngg ggggg gggg ----excuse me---
you got back hair, dont ya? :-[
eh, good on both counts- not sure why you think I look like a werewolf, but whatever ;D
Quote from: Greg on February 26, 2015, 06:22:41 PMOlder women, especially with tons of experience- not so much my style.
Oh, the irony of this statement. :) I used to think "older women aren't that attractive," etc. and then I got older. ;)
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 01, 2015, 06:38:18 PM
Oh, the irony of this statement. :) I used to think "older women aren't that attractive," etc. and then I got older. ;)
Live and learn. When I was about 22 I read something very wise in Ross Macdonald novel. "As a man gets older then, if he knows what's good for him, so do the women he finds attractive."
Jodi Foster still turns my crank as far as it can go. 😊
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 01, 2015, 06:38:18 PM
Oh, the irony of this statement. :) I used to think "older women aren't that attractive," etc. and then I got older. ;)
I'd gladly show interest in older women once I get older. But my first date is not going to be a 35 year old, that's for sure.
I'll probably always or almost always date a little bit younger in the future. I'll always look over 5 years younger than I am and I'll always be behind the average person a decade in "experience." So considering that, you can see what I mean, right? (The girl I'm talking to is 21 right now, which is perfect IMO).
Quote from: Greg on March 01, 2015, 06:50:18 PM
I'd gladly show interest in older women once I get older. But my first date is not going to be a 35 year old, that's for sure.
I'll probably always or almost always date a little bit younger in the future. I'll always look over 5 years younger than I am and I'll always be behind the average person a decade in "experience." So considering that, you can see what I mean, right? (The girl I'm talking to is 21 right now, which is perfect IMO).
No, I really don't understand what you mean. In my estimate, you've completely backed yourself into a corner. I mean I understand about preferences and so forth (we all have them), but sometimes you have to look beyond your idea for your 'ideal' woman, because this is where you'll find many surprises and may end up finding the woman you'll spend the rest of your life with.
Quote from: Ken B on March 01, 2015, 06:46:50 PM
Live and learn. When I was about 22 I read something very wise in Ross Macdonald novel. "As a man gets older then, if he knows what's good for him, so do the women he finds attractive."
Jodi Foster still turns my crank as far as it can go. 😊
:) Maybe it's just me, but I think Diane Keaton is cute as a button and got better looking as she got older.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 01, 2015, 07:09:59 PM
but sometimes you have to look beyond your idea for your 'ideal' woman
Yeah, 'ideal' probably doesn't exist if I thought hard enough. Just considering very basic characteristics of what I like is going to have to be enough.
Quote from: Greg on March 01, 2015, 07:22:40 PM
Yeah, 'ideal' probably doesn't exist if I thought hard enough. Just considering very basic characteristics of what I like is going to have to be enough.
But did you understand the other part of what I'm telling you, Greg? My point was that when you stop making a mental check list of every woman you're the least bit attracted to and just allow yourself to act natural, you'll find yourself in great surprise by what could possibly happen.
As far as my own pursuit of my future wife, it seems rather hopeless at this juncture, but I'm sure she's out there. I'll be 33 on March 10th and it seems this dating thing is getting even harder, but I remain optimistic. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping she comes my way soon.
Quote from: Greg on March 01, 2015, 06:23:33 PM
Indeed. I terrify myself sometimes.
Oh, I've had this same style for years. Very basic goatee, no side or neck hair. Just like this:
http://www.wallpapergremlin.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Ben-Affleck-New-Goatee-Desktop-Photo.jpg
I'd go from looking metal to looking like a boy band member in a day, but she's the type that would prefer the latter... but that doesn't really matter- matters more what one person thinks, anyways.
Egyptian goatee just sounds ridiculously metal. 8)
Yeah, ewwww....
eh, good on both counts- not sure why you think I look like a werewolf, but whatever ;D
ok, you're not a werewolf... but, yea, that pic of the 'Affleck Goatee' points up my theory- come on, doesn't he look like a total douche?- I mean, it's just STRAIGHT down the sides of his maw, no tapering (Iron Man) or nuthin... it just looks like a pussy on his face to me )(and, apparently, to the girls too)
I dunno... I'm just not a fan of the dark haired male with goatee look,... ya'll all look the same to me,... it reminds me of the backwards-cut-long front-short back for the girls, the most hideous slave cut ever... we're being groomed to look like the slaves of yore...
ANYHOW,
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 01, 2015, 07:12:40 PM
:) Maybe it's just me, but I think Diane Keaton is cute as a button and got better looking as she got older.
some things one just doesn't SAY!! ;)
BTW GUYS- NO MATTER WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE- go to the GoodWill and get yourselves some fancy duds- just try going out without the t-shirt and see what happens--- since guys "all look the same", it really IS the clothes that make the man.
wow-I'm just full of it, aren't I, lolz!! :laugh: (as if I'm one to dictate success here, oy vey ::))
SEX BY THE WEEKEND OR GO HOME!!!!!!!!!! NO EXCUSES!!!!!!!
Quote from: snyprrr on March 02, 2015, 06:51:10 AM
ok, you're not a werewolf... but, yea, that pic of the 'Affleck Goatee' points up my theory- come on, doesn't he look like a total douche?- I mean, it's just STRAIGHT down the sides of his maw, no tapering (Iron Man) or nuthin... it just looks like a pussy on his face to me )(and, apparently, to the girls too)
I dunno... I'm just not a fan of the dark haired male with goatee look,... ya'll all look the same to me,... it reminds me of the backwards-cut-long front-short back for the girls, the most hideous slave cut ever... we're being groomed to look like the slaves of yore...
:'(
Quote from: Greg on March 02, 2015, 06:54:45 AM
:'(
there there 0:)
btw- I forgot, we weren't bashing goatees per se, just the LENGTH of the chin strap? Some guy I know, bald, had the no-'stache long ass goatee thing,- good lookin' guy had this potato root coming out of his chin- everyone wanted just to whack it off- he finally did, prolly to please his new gal. hint hint
goatee is one thing- the potato root is a whole nuther.... "The Flavour Saver" yuuuuuukkkk :laugh:
oh- don't get me started on "Soul Patches" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ???
hey- how bout those amish styles, where the shave around the mouth only, leaving only chin shit---- STOP THIS THREAD NOOOOW!!!!!
(TAKES A LOOK IN THE MIRROR) ok, not bad.... carry on....
frankly, Greg, we DO need to hear some good news from you- go get'm tiger!! ;) I expect a full report on how she fainted when she saw yo' junk!! ;)
Quote from: snyprrr on March 02, 2015, 07:07:09 AM
frankly, Greg, we DO need to hear some good news from you- go get'm tiger!! ;) I expect a full report on how she fainted when she saw yo' junk!! ;)
lol, just a matter of seeing first if she was actually serious about the whole thing and not just saying some random drunk stuff.
I hate to say it, but .... I agree with snyprr. Little dangly goattees are bad, but soul patches are awful.
On the other hand, neither snypsss nor I are female, so our opinion in the matter is worth about 0. I know that I am an indifferent judge of what women will find attractive. I am often surprised by what women say about who is or isn't hot. (And women likewise are often poor judges of female hotness. All the women I know find Robin Tunney unattractive.)
Quote from: Ken B on March 02, 2015, 05:08:54 PM
(And women likewise are often poor judges of female hotness. All the women I know find Robin Tunney unattractive.)
Didn't know who that was and looked her up- yep, they are definitely wrong. :P
So I shaved it all...
and honestly, I think I look way better with the beard. :-\
How can you say "if you're really not into me, I'm growing this back" without being awkwardly direct? :P
Quote from: Greg on March 01, 2015, 05:21:40 AM
So, it appears that the one girl that I was interested in since late last year doesn't care for my goatee. Last night she said that she would think I'm cute it if weren't for the goatee and she couldn't kiss me because of it because it reminds her too much of her dad...
Don't take that personally. She obviously has "dad" issues. :(
Aren't there coffeeshops where you are? Don't many of them have open-mic nights? I'm thinking of places like Denver's Mercury Cafe, where every night (except Mondays when they're closed) there is music, poetry, theatrical performances, dancing or some such. 8)
Quote from: jochanaan on March 04, 2015, 08:50:24 AM
Don't take that personally. She obviously has "dad" issues. :(
They don't get along, apparently. Her mom is divorced and she lives with her mom, so yeah.
Quote from: jochanaan on March 04, 2015, 08:50:24 AM
Aren't there coffeeshops where you are? Don't many of them have open-mic nights? I'm thinking of places like Denver's Mercury Cafe, where every night (except Mondays when they're closed) there is music, poetry, theatrical performances, dancing or some such. 8)
I don't go out to drink coffee, so no idea. But that's a good idea for what I was talking about. Though it would take quite a while to get material ready for public performance, so eventually maybe...
Quote from: Greg on March 04, 2015, 09:03:52 AM
They don't get along, apparently. Her mom is divorced and she lives with her mom, so yeah.
I don't go out to drink coffee, so no idea. But that's a good idea for what I was talking about. Though it would take quite a while to get material ready for public performance, so eventually maybe...
There are many reasons to go to coffeehouses other than for the coffee. :) But let me tell you, from personal experience, there's nothing women admire so much as real skill in music. Especially if you can do more than play the notes, if you can play with passion and musicality as well as technical skill. So hone those performance chops! They are your ticket to feminine interest and perhaps even a LTR. 8)
Quote from: jochanaan on March 04, 2015, 09:12:01 AM
But let me tell you, from personal experience, there's nothing women admire so much as real skill in music.
I wish. I don't think it's that way any more. Basically every single female my age group I've known is more into hip-hop and party music and could care less that I play guitar. How long ago was this for you?
btw, I'm hoping she remembers
exactly what she said. How much alcohol until people start to forget stuff? She was tipsy but not near passing out level drunk. Probably next time I hang out with her I'll ask like, "I would keep it shaved if you really liked me, otherwise I'm just going to let it grow out again." And if she says "do what you want" or whatever, then I'm moving on- to find someone who can appreciate my guitar playing and beard. :laugh:
Quote from: Greg on March 04, 2015, 09:21:07 AMBasically every single female my age group I've known is more into hip-hop and party music and could care less that I play guitar.
Try that coffee drinking thing. Or simply that getting out more thing. Your horizons seem to be awfully limited.
yea, greg,... sometimes you sound a little... finicky!
"Naw, I don' wanna"
btw- I was thinking a pencil thin 'stache for you? Clark Gable,... Brad Pitt,... eh? Just enough to change the face? (yea, I can't stand myself clean shaven) but I have to go back to that Affleck pic- ack!!- but, all the guys I see with girls have a douchy Affleck vadge,... so,... mm,... forget everything I said, lolz!! :laugh:
fu manchu??? :laugh: :laugh:
did I mention Die Artwoord? FREAKY STUFF THERE EH?
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 04, 2015, 10:52:30 AM
Try that coffee drinking thing. Or simply that getting out more thing. Your horizons seem to be awfully limited.
Yep. My life is like being tied to a railroad, trying to go top speed constantly and not quite succeeding. Not very conducive for fun.
Quote from: snyprrr on March 04, 2015, 12:19:13 PM
but I have to go back to that Affleck pic- ack!!- but, all the guys I see with girls have a douchy Affleck vadge,... so,... mm,... forget everything I said, lolz!! :laugh:
It's basically impossible to predict who likes facial hair and who doesn't... in the end, safest to stick with what you think looks good (unless it's too crazy).
the chin hair is definitely coming back if this doesn't work out. The rest I might consider leaving off...
Quote from: Greg on March 04, 2015, 09:21:07 AM
I wish. I don't think it's that way any more. Basically every single female my age group I've known is more into hip-hop and party music and could care less that I play guitar. How long ago was this for you?
btw, I'm hoping she remembers exactly what she said. How much alcohol until people start to forget stuff? She was tipsy but not near passing out level drunk. Probably next time I hang out with her I'll ask like, "I would keep it shaved if you really liked me, otherwise I'm just going to let it grow out again." And if she says "do what you want" or whatever, then I'm moving on- to find someone who can appreciate my guitar playing and beard. :laugh:
You should have never shaved it off to begin with. It's one thing if you decide to do something because you want to do it but it's a different matter entirely when you're doing it because someone mentions, in passing and being tipsy, that you would look better without it. I think one problem you're having is you're coming across as desperate and women definitely find this a turn-off.
Greg, why not call a callgirl? If you can't have love, you can get some loving at least. And who cares about love anyway? Does it exist at all?
I consider this myself. Probably won't do it, but I consider it.
Quote from: Henk on March 04, 2015, 01:00:31 PM
Greg, why not call a callgirl? If you can't have love, you can get some loving at least. And who cares about love anyway? Does it exist at all?
I consider this myself. Probably won't do it, but I consider it.
This is a disappointing post from you, Henk. Love exists whether you believe in it or not. Is your soul shrouded in darkness? Do you not feel anything for anyone?
Quote from: Henk on March 04, 2015, 01:00:31 PM
Greg, why not call a callgirl? If you can't have love, you can get some loving at least. And who cares about love anyway? Does it exist at all?
I consider this myself. Probably won't do it, but I consider it.
1- Because it's illegal in the US; 2- I'd rather my first time be someone I'm in love with. If I never find anything in like 10 years, eventually I may have to resort to that by visiting another country where it's not illegal. Better than nothing, but not my first choice.
And until then... better practice my lucid dreaming skills more. 8)
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 04, 2015, 12:45:41 PM
You should have never shaved it off to begin with. It's one thing if you decide to do something because you want to do it but it's a different matter entirely when you're doing it because someone mentions, in passing and being tipsy, that you would look better without it. I think one problem you're having is you're coming across as desperate and women definitely find this a turn-off.
Not quite in passing, elaborating on her preferences and such. Other than that, I'm definitely not coming across as desperate. Actually, I'm trying not to appear too cold. She's a really affectionate person- can't remember how many times she hugged me.
And that's what I like about her. I'm starting to realize a pattern- I'm really attracted to the fun, bubbly, affectionate type. Probably a way to explain that is that it seems the most girly to me, and more girly = more attractive IMO.
(Not sure if I mentioned it or not, but when I went out with her Saturday, it wasn't a date- we were alone for a long time, but I brought another cute girl from work to chill with us for a while.)
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 04, 2015, 01:04:03 PM
This is a disappointing post from you, Henk. Love exists whether you believe in it or not. Is your soul shrouded in darkness? Do you not feel anything for anyone?
I think it's a matter of whether anyone feels love for him.
Quote from: Greg on March 04, 2015, 07:29:14 PM
Not quite in passing, elaborating on her preferences and such. Other than that, I'm definitely not coming across as desperate. Actually, I'm trying not to appear too cold. She's a really affectionate person- can't remember how many times she hugged me.
And that's what I like about her. I'm starting to realize a pattern- I'm really attracted to the fun, bubbly, affectionate type. Probably a way to explain that is that it seems the most girly to me, and more girly = more attractive IMO.
(Not sure if I mentioned it or not, but when I went out with her Saturday, it wasn't a date- we were alone for a long time, but I brought another cute girl from work to chill with us for a while.)
Why don't you ask this woman out then? What's holding you back? If you like her, go for it.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 04, 2015, 07:31:29 PM
Why don't you ask this woman out then? What's holding you back? If you like her, go for it.
That's the plan, dear friend. 8)
Likely on Monday I'll ask, my next day off. She kept saying she wants to hang out again and doesn't care where we go. So regardless, even if we're just going to be friends, I'll be having plenty of cute girly hugs in the future. HAHAHA >:D
Quote from: Greg on March 04, 2015, 07:36:34 PM
That's the plan, dear friend. 8)
Likely on Monday I'll ask, my next day off. She kept saying she wants to hang out again and doesn't care where we go. So regardless, even if we're just going to be friends, I'll be having plenty of cute girly hugs in the future. HAHAHA >:D
Great! Well, have dinner with her and don't try too hard. Just be yourself. Good luck, Greg.
As for my own pathetic love life, it's rather nonexistent at this point. I'm going to quit looking perhaps this is when the woman I'm meant to be with will appear? It's worth a shot. ;) ;D
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 04, 2015, 07:37:53 PM
Great! Well, have dinner with her and don't try too hard. Just be yourself. Good luck, Greg.
Thanks. And will do.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 04, 2015, 07:38:43 PM
As for my own pathetic love life, it's rather nonexistent at this point. I'm going to quit looking perhaps this is when the woman I'm meant to be with will appear? It's worth a shot. ;) ;D
Oh boy. Good luck with that.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 04, 2015, 01:04:03 PM
This is a disappointing post from you, Henk. Love exists whether you believe in it or not. Is your soul shrouded in darkness? Do you not feel anything for anyone?
I feel a lot for any girl. I would like to call it love, but be realistic John.. I can feel love, but I think it's always one direction. And it's a general thing. If someone feels "love" or feels that the other one "sweet", the other one doesn't feel it. So love is just a word. It's just desire what one feels, if two people "love each other" one desires the other, the other one is desired. That's what is called "love".
My life is already finished. I already have had my peaks. There's no real goal anymore. That's rather a bit depressing feeling. I also can't bring it up to set a new goal.
I can "live further only to acquire a better and better knowledge" as Nietzsche writes in his aphorism "For calming". I need to grow accustomed to that idea.
I live a lonely life. That's fine with me. I never come into contact with girls.
If I walk around in the city and have a tough expression on my face (I'm on some state of mind then), sometimes when a girl passes she smiles. She thinks it's funny. Women however get afraid.
That's my only pleasure with girls. They only pass by however. Sometimes it get's playfull, in an extraordinary way, but just shortly, and accidentaly.
To be short, I'm too eccentric. My profile and character doesn't work in our culture. Girls feel immediately.
Just deleted a text about my life. Needed to express some things. Done that and decided to delete it again. :)
Quote from: Henk on March 05, 2015, 03:35:12 AM
My life is already finished. I already have had my peaks. There's no real goal anymore. That's rather a bit depressing feeling. I also can't bring it up to set a new goal.
I know that feeling now that I quit gaming...
playing a couple of MMORPG's distracted me for about a year. So many goals, fun, and learning and quit before I even did a fraction of what I wanted to do. Might be worth considering, since you do have plenty of time.
Quote from: Greg on March 05, 2015, 06:32:11 AM
I know that feeling now that I quit gaming...
playing a couple of MMORPG's distracted me for about a year. So many goals, fun, and learning and quit before I even did a fraction of what I wanted to do. Might be worth considering, since you do have plenty of time.
Maybe, Greg, there lies a lot of fun for me with many girls in the nearby future. There must be, it hardly can be not. That's pretty much the only expectation that keeps me healthy and alive.
Quote from: Greg on March 04, 2015, 09:21:07 AM
I wish. I don't think it's that way any more. Basically every single female my age group I've known is more into hip-hop and party music and could care less that I play guitar. How long ago was this for you?
It happens now. 8) But I admit that I tend to play in places where folks like off-the-wall music, such as coffeehouses (non-corporate, although a few Starbucks have had some good live music). :)
Quote from: Greg on March 04, 2015, 09:21:07 AM
I wish. I don't think it's that way any more. Basically every single female my age group I've known is more into hip-hop and party music and could care less that I play guitar. How long ago was this for you?
:laugh:
Quote from: Henk on March 05, 2015, 02:18:39 AM
I feel a lot for any girl. I would like to call it love, but be realistic John.. I can feel love, but I think it's always one direction. And it's a general thing. If someone feels "love" or feels that the other one "sweet", the other one doesn't feel it. So love is just a word. It's just desire what one feels, if two people "love each other" one desires the other, the other one is desired. That's what is called "love".
(Shakes head) Love is
not just word, Henk. Love is one of the most powerful things on this planet. Without it, there would be nothing good happening. Your life may seem bleak (for now), but don't give up. Never give up. She's out there and even if she isn't, this doesn't mean love has no meaning. There are many facets to this ever-evolving force of nature.
Quote from: Henk on March 05, 2015, 03:35:12 AM
My life is already finished. I already have had my peaks. There's no real goal anymore. That's rather a bit depressing feeling. I also can't bring it up to set a new goal.
I can "live further only to acquire a better and better knowledge" as Nietzsche writes in his aphorism "For calming". I need to grow accustomed to that idea.
And then Mr. Sunshine showed up!! :laugh:
don't you live in Amsterdam or something... I mean,... hint hint??
Quoting Neechee is just a stone's throw from quoting St. Paul,... all that "acceptance",... brrrrrrrr,...
I'm pretty deflated about all this myself,... now it's Friday night... AGAIN!! >:D... I can practically hear the sound of new born lovers mocking me,... AAAHHHH,... ???,... that's something that must be quashed. 0:)
oh noes!... not the tears of self pity :'(,... no, not that :'(,... I :'(...I :'(... ... no, not tonight $:)
Once More Into the Breach!!
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 05, 2015, 06:14:17 PM
(Shakes head) Love is not just word, Henk.
No, love isn't just a word. Love is just a four-letter-word.
SCNR ;)
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 05, 2015, 06:14:17 PM
(Shakes head) Love is not just word, Henk. Love is one of the most powerful things on this planet. Without it, there would be nothing good happening. Your life may seem bleak (for now), but don't give up. Never give up. She's out there and even if she isn't, this doesn't mean love has no meaning. There are many facets to this ever-evolving force of nature.
There's goodness, but that's not the same as love.
What's the difference between love and sex according to you? Where do they join? I think there's no real difference.
There's no girl who has some love for me, John, I've never meet one, but I love every pretty girl. Love in the sense of attraction and caring. That's my case. Simple as that. :)
Henk
Quote from: Henk on March 07, 2015, 07:25:23 AM
There's goodness, but that's not the same as love.
What's the difference between love and sex according to you? Where do they join? I think there's no real difference.
There's no girl who has some love for me, John, I've never meet one, but I love every pretty girl. Love in the sense of attraction and caring. That's my case. Simple as that. :)
Henk
Totally...
wait, I'm actually understanding what Henk is saying?
*universe explodes*
John, according to Nietzsche love has to be learnt. He compares with music. Read this interesting aphorism:
http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_FOURTH_BOOK_.aspx?S=334 (http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_FOURTH_BOOK_.aspx?S=334)
Quote from: Henk on March 07, 2015, 07:25:23 AM
What's the difference between love and sex according to you? Where do they join? I think there's no real difference.
Henk
I mean, John, it's all rather sex. Sex is a much more physical thing and can be defined. That's much more difficult with what is called love. There is a lot grey area: sex, attraction, caring, emphathy, goodness, but love is not the essence of it, as you might think, on the contrary. Those things can be defined, love not. You make it some kind of force of nature, a metaphysical thing, but again, try to define it.. Do you think other animals experience love? No, do you think it's just a human thing? Why use it in the context of nature then? You make some vague spiritual notion of it? That's the impression you make.
Nietzsche offers, in the aphorism I mentioned, an interesting notion of love. I can see it that way. You might find Stendhal's notion more interesting, explained in his book "Love". He described it as a highly passionate thing, but I can't agree with it, for the arguments I've put forward.
Also have a look at this aphorism by Nietzsche, "What is called Love":
http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_FIRST_BOOK_.aspx?S=14 (http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_FIRST_BOOK_.aspx?S=14)
Really interesting. This describes things how they are. In the other aphorism Nietzsche gives his vision of love, a rather different notion. Very interesting.
And this is how it works with sex, aphorism "Benevolence":
http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_THIRD_BOOK_.aspx?S=118 (http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_THIRD_BOOK_.aspx?S=118)
To say the truth with me, and I reveal it here (I think it's good to talk about), my case is that my instinct is that of submission. With any girl. Because I'm rather a tiny nature, not nothing, but something. That's the special thing about me. But I'm hard. I like to love girls with my hands and tongue on their body, I think I'm better in it than any man. But one it comes to sex actually I am submissive.
"Gladness and covetousness are united in the stronger person, who wants to transform something to his function: gladness and desire - to be coveted in the weaker person, who would like to become a function. The former case is essentially pity, a pleasant excitation of the instinct of appropriation at the sight of the weak."
I am not weak, Nietsche adds " it is to be remembered, however, that "strong" and "weak" are relative conceptions." But I'm weak when it comes to coitus. I simply too much like for pretty girls being strong. :P
Girls can fuck a guy too!
This is the opposite with Greg I think. Greg is caring as well, but has the instinct of appropriation. But we are simply too caring, is that right Greg, to get sexual pleasure. It's rather abnormal I think. Maybe Greg will succeed however.
But girls are not interested in me. Or they all are. 0:)
Henk
Quote from: Henk on March 07, 2015, 08:42:17 AM
And this is how it works with sex, aphorism "Benevolence":
http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_THIRD_BOOK_.aspx?S=118 (http://www.lexido.com/EBOOK_TEXTS/THE_GAY_SCIENCE_THIRD_BOOK_.aspx?S=118)
To say the truth with me, and I reveal it here (I think it's good to talk about), my case is that my instinct is that of submission. With any girl. Because I'm rather a tiny nature, not nothing, but something. That's the special thing about me. But I'm hard. I like to love girls with my hands and tongue on their body, I think I'm better in it than any man. But one it comes to sex actually I am submissive.
"Gladness and covetousness are united in the stronger person, who wants to transform something to his function: gladness and desire - to be coveted in the weaker person, who would like to become a function. The former case is essentially pity, a pleasant excitation of the instinct of appropriation at the sight of the weak."
I am not weak, Nietsche adds " it is to be remembered, however, that "strong" and "weak" are relative conceptions." But I'm weak when it comes to coitus. I simply too much like for pretty girls being strong. :P
Girls can fuck a guy too!
This is the opposite with Greg I think. Greg is caring as well, but has the instinct of appropriation. But we are simply too caring, is that right Greg, to get sexual pleasure. It's rather abnormal I think. Maybe Greg will succeed however.
But girls are not interested in me. Or they all are. 0:)
Henk
Well, I'm nice but I guess more of a domineering type. :D I like the plot of To Love-ru, where the main character is expected to be king of the universe and have a huge harem and stuff- nice stuff. 8) I couldn't be submissive to a woman, so I guess that's different from you. But in reality, I'm too considerate of other people's feelings to do mean stuff, so even if I ever were in the position of a girl wanting me to do some really disrespectful stuff to her in the bedroom, I'm not sure I could even though I'd love to. If that makes any sense.
Quote from: Greg on March 07, 2015, 09:21:30 AM
Well, I'm nice but I guess more of a domineering type. :D I like the plot of To Love-ru, where the main character is expected to be king of the universe and have a huge harem and stuff- nice stuff. 8) I couldn't be submissive to a woman, so I guess that's different from you. But in reality, I'm too considerate of other people's feelings to do mean stuff, so even if I ever were in the position of a girl wanting me to do some really disrespectful stuff to her in the bedroom, I'm not sure I could even though I'd love to. If that makes any sense.
Ok, sounds quite normal. Why girls don't want to love you then? Do you have some thoughts about this or do you simply don't know? Too hestitative maybe, in some strange way?
Quote from: Henk on March 07, 2015, 09:38:38 AM
Ok, sounds quite normal. Why girls don't want to love you then? Do you have some thoughts about this or do you simply don't know? Too hestitative maybe, in some strange way?
No idea... it's just a curse that if I like someone they don't like me and if they like me I don't like them. And it's never changed.
anyways, I did have two really nice dreams the last few days. In one, I was being hugged by two cute girls in a classroom and another, I was in the church gymnasium (of all places) and some girl gave me her leg to rub. Weird, but very nice. Just the warmth of being appreciated by some cute girls was very nice, even though they were just imaginary people I never saw before.
Quote from: Greg on March 07, 2015, 09:48:05 AM
No idea... it's just a curse that if I like someone they don't like me and if they like me I don't like them. And it's never changed.
anyways, I did have two really nice dreams the last few days. In one, I was being hugged by two cute girls in a classroom and another, I was in the church gymnasium (of all places) and some girl gave me her leg to rub. Weird, but very nice. Just the warmth of being appreciated by some cute girls was very nice, even though they were just imaginary people I never saw before.
When you have a good job en earn money you will get a girlfriend, especially when you want to have kids. Then it's about a "serious relation", that's makes a difference I think. But I remember you said you don't want that? Then your chances are much lower I think, you might think different when you grow older.
However, everyone want to have a time in their live, the age when you go to school, just to have love without it being serious. To accept you can only have a "serious relation" is a hard and dissapointing thing.
Quote from: snyprrr on March 06, 2015, 04:37:38 PM
And then Mr. Sunshine showed up!! :laugh:
don't you live in Amsterdam or something... I mean,... hint hint?? (1)
Quoting Neechee is just a stone's throw from quoting St. Paul,... all that "acceptance",... brrrrrrrr,... (2)
I'm pretty deflated about all this myself,... now it's Friday night... AGAIN!! >:D... I can practically hear the sound of new born lovers mocking me,... AAAHHHH,... ???,... that's something that must be quashed. 0:)
oh noes!... not the tears of self pity :'(,... no, not that :'(,... I :'(...I :'(... ... no, not tonight $:)
Once More Into the Breach!!
(1) I seriously consider a callgirl. I think I'll do that in the nearby future. I just want to touch and kiss a girls body. Then half of my desire will be satisfied. An easy and perfect solution. :) All that talk about love.. However, a callgirl also can say she doesn't want things.. :) I don't want coitus, so this might be no problem. A callgirl isn't just a whore, intimacy is more important for a callgirl, I prefer this.
(2) I understand. He doesn't write I can't have a call girl or something.
In Beyond Good and Evil:
Honesty, granting that it is the virtue of which we cannot rid ourselves, we free spirits - well, we will labour at it with all our perversity and love, and not tire of "perfecting" ourselves in OUR virtue, which alone remains: may its glance some day overspread like a gilded, blue, mocking twilight this aging civilization with its dull gloomy seriousness! And if, nevertheless, our honesty should one day grow weary, and sigh, and stretch its limbs, and find us too hard, and would fain have it pleasanter, easier, and gentler, like an agreeable vice, let us remain HARD, we latest Stoics, and let us send to its help whatever devilry we have in us: - our disgust at the clumsy and undefined, our "NITIMUR IN VETITUM," our love of adventure, our sharpened and fastidious curiosity, our most subtle, disguised, intellectual Will to Power and universal conquest, which rambles and roves avidiously around all the realms of the future - let us go with all our "devils" to the help of our "God"! It is probable that people will misunderstand and mistake us on that account: what does it matter! They will say: "Their 'honesty' - that is their devilry, and nothing else!" What does it matter! And even if they were right - have not all Gods hitherto been such sanctified, re-baptized devils? And after all, what do we know of ourselves? And what the spirit that leads us wants TO BE CALLED? (It is a question of names.) And how many spirits we harbour? Our honesty, we free spirits - let us be careful lest it become our vanity, our ornament and ostentation, our limitation, our stupidity! Every virtue inclines to stupidity, every stupidity to virtue; "stupid to the point of sanctity," they say in Russia, - let us be careful lest out of pure honesty we eventually become saints and bores! Is not life a hundred times too short for us - to bore ourselves? One would have to believe in eternal life in order to .
Also this aphorism appeals to me. I think you like it better?
"NITIMUR IN VETITUM" "We strive for the forbidden" --> Callgirls, whores. :)
Where is this fear of women and intimacy coming from, guys?
Quote from: Artem on March 07, 2015, 01:13:26 PM
Where is this fear of women and intimacy coming from, guys?
Who you talking about? ???
Henk, maybe, but not me or John...
It's amazing how different some people do things. She wanted me to chill at her house tonight, but now she's tired and her mom's boyfriend is over. Seriously, my household is so different- I could just imagine the laughs I'd get telling my parents that a girl is coming over to hang out in my room at night. ;D
Quote from: Greg on March 07, 2015, 06:41:49 PM
It's amazing how different some people do things. She wanted me to chill at her house tonight, but now she's tired and her mom's boyfriend is over. Seriously, my household is so different- I could just imagine the laughs I'd get telling my parents that a girl is coming over to hang out in my room at night. ;D
You're almost there.. ;)
Snyprrr and Greg:
"The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything." (Nietzsche)
Quote from: Greg on March 07, 2015, 06:41:49 PM
Who you talking about? ???
Henk, maybe,
I am, in almost everything, an
exception, Greg.
Speaking about danger and play. Men, going "the own way", being souvereign, I've done such crazy things (becoming souvereign was one of them actually), bussy with the greatest questions and tasks which man can imagine.. (what common people can't imagine). I know what it all was about, but I can't analyze all that, because it was too crazy, I can only call back what happened.
Thinking about things that happened. I can analyze things, but on the moment I did things, I did it on intuition. I did crazy things, and for some of them it's hard to analyze.
Much happened with me, during the last ten years. I have accomplished my task.
But things went right. That's the most important.
Also I have goals in my life again. Happy with it.
So, um... not sure if you could be any more vague with those last two posts if you tried, Henk. ???
Quote from: Greg on March 08, 2015, 05:52:05 PM
So, um... not sure if you could be any more vague with those last two posts if you tried, Henk. ???
I believe he is Hillary's speech writer.
Quote from: Ken B on March 08, 2015, 08:06:57 PM
I believe he is Hillary's speech writer.
I thought you were her speech writer...! ???
Quote from: Greg on March 08, 2015, 05:52:05 PM
So, um... not sure if you could be any more vague with those last two posts if you tried, Henk. ???
I saved the world, Greg, and more than that.
Quote from: Henk on March 09, 2015, 05:17:02 AM
I saved the world
Was there a cheerleader involved? ;D
Yes, Bar Refaeli, perhaps the world's most beautiful and greatest girl.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10378951_466719230145064_5175024796283321532_n.jpg?oh=754f814ee2ba45088caebdf5401a9704&oe=5576C147&__gda__=1434717997_0a15eced6ef666cf893a1f697806252d)
She with her boyfriend, from her FB page.
So this was highly interesting:
http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/a7290/survey-of-american-women-0510/
Quote46. In terms of facial hair, which do you prefer?
Clean shaven 47%
Stubble 45%
Full beard 8%
So... might be a good idea to not grow it back. :-\
There's just one huge problem, and that is the fact that over the last few years, I never noticed all of the fat I gained under my chin, so I'm going to have to get that liposuctioned sometime. Maybe this summer. It looks terrible... this, despite having little fat anywhere else, it all just goes there somehow. But once I do get that fixed, I'll look at least as good as I did with my goatee and also younger. The way I age, I'll probably look 30 when I'm 40, if shaved.
Quote17. The best-looking man in America is:
Johnny Depp 29%
George Clooney 28%
Jon Hamm 21%
Brad Pitt 12%
Robert Pattinson 4%
Barack Obama 3%
Zac Efron 3%
I never really understood the popularity of Johnny Depp with women. I do like him as an actor, but he strikes me more as a possible homeless guy than a possible model.
Quote from: Greg on March 10, 2015, 07:52:57 AMThere's just one huge problem, and that is the fact that over the last few years, I never noticed all of the fat I gained under my chin, so I'm going to have to get that liposuctioned sometime. Maybe this summer.
Please tell me you're joking. There's enough bizarreness in this thread already.
QuoteI never really understood the popularity of Johnny Depp with women. I do like him as an actor, but he strikes me more as a possible homeless guy than a possible model.
That should tell you all you need to know about how silly it is to
obsess over women's perception of yourself. Just get rid of that goatee / go full lumberjack. I'd wager what that girl said simply meant it doesn't work for you. Being yourself and listening to friendly fashion advice isn't mutually exclusive.
Quote from: Greg on March 10, 2015, 07:52:57 AMThere's just one huge problem, and that is the fact that over the last few years, I never noticed all of the fat I gained under my chin, so I'm going to have to get that liposuctioned sometime. Maybe this summer. It looks terrible... this, despite having little fat anywhere else, it all just goes there somehow. But once I do get that fixed, I'll look at least as good as I did with my goatee and also younger. The way I age, I'll probably look 30 when I'm 40, if shaved.
I smell vanity, Greg. Are you really this vain? It seems like to me you lack a lot of self-confidence, which could be partly why you're turning women away. Again, I come back to the fact that just because someone tells you that you look better without the facial doesn't mean that you should actually shave it off. You've gotten nowhere with this woman because you don't want to get anywhere with her. Get some balls and ask her out already! Tell her how you feel. If you can't do this, then you really should stop coming to this thread, because I see no signs of someone who actually genuinely wants to be with someone. You can make all the excuses you want, you are your own worst enemy by not getting yourself together enough to ask women out.
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 10, 2015, 09:40:08 AM
Please tell me you're joking. There's enough bizarreness in this thread already.
That should tell you all you need to know about how silly it is to obsess over women's perception of yourself. Just get rid of that goatee / go full lumberjack. I'd wager what that girl said simply meant it doesn't work for you. Being yourself and listening to friendly fashion advice isn't mutually exclusive.
I forgot to mention that I've rather warmed up to my new clean-shaven (now slightly stubbly) appearance over the last week. And I don't personally like how the chin fat looks, so getting rid of it is kinda something I'd do for myself. So it's all good.
As for Johnny Depp, he does both the clean shaven look and the goatee, and reminds me of a homeless person either way. That's probably just me, though. :-X
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 10, 2015, 10:28:30 AM
I smell vanity, Greg. Are you really this vain? It seems like to me you lack a lot of self-confidence, which could be partly why you're turning women away. Again, I come back to the fact that just because someone tells you that you look better without the facial doesn't mean that you should actually shave it off. You've gotten nowhere with this woman because you don't want to get anywhere with her. Get some balls and ask her out already! Tell her how you feel. If you can't do this, then you really should stop coming to this thread, because I see no signs of someone who actually genuinely wants to be with someone. You can make all the excuses you want, you are your own worst enemy by not getting yourself together enough to ask women out.
I'm going to ask when I actually get a chance...
and yes, I am that vain. I like to look good. So what? :D
Quote from: Greg on March 10, 2015, 10:31:19 AMI'm going to ask when I actually get a chance...
Yeah, sure. ::) You might as well record it because I'll believe when I actually see/hear it.
Quote from: Greg on March 10, 2015, 10:31:19 AM
and yes, I am that vain. I like to look good. So what? :D
There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good, but when you begin to have self-doubt about the way you look instead of simply accepting it, then you have a problem.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 10, 2015, 10:36:14 AM
There's nothing wrong with wanting to look good, but when you begin to have self-doubt about the way you look instead of simply accepting it, then you have a problem.
Well, this is the way I look at it. Anything you can do to help is a good thing. Imagine the confidence boost you would have if you tried talking to women looking like Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, etc. I mean, of course, you can manage to be as charming or confident as them, but your chances will still be lower if you don't quite look as appealing as they do.
Quote from: Greg on March 10, 2015, 10:42:46 AM
Well, this is the way I look at it. Anything you can do to help is a good thing. Imagine the confidence boost you would have if you tried talking to women looking like Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, etc. I mean, of course, you can manage to be as charming or confident as them, but your chances will still be lower if you don't quite look as appealing as they do.
You either have confidence or you don't. It's that simple. I've seen guys that look like they just got out of a dumpster with gorgeous women, so it's not always about 'looks' or at least to women anyway. Stop being so vain, Greg.
Quote from: Greg on March 10, 2015, 10:42:46 AM
Well, this is the way I look at it. Anything you can do to help is a good thing. Imagine the confidence boost you would have if you tried talking to women looking like Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, etc. I mean, of course, you can manage to be as charming or confident as them, but your chances will still be lower if you don't quite look as appealing as they do.
Don't compare, Greg. It might be true, but it's not the right mindset. Show your own attitude towards girls. I hope you already do however.
Liposuction indeed can be good. But try not to think in terms of "chances". Just go for it. If you lose, you have learnt something.
You can be vain. Paint your eyebrowes or something. It might work. :laugh:
Quote from: Henk on March 10, 2015, 12:17:24 PM
Liposuction indeed can be good. But try not to think in terms of "chances". Just go for it. If you lose, you have learnt something.
True, probably better not to think that way. I'm just a calculating person when it comes to anything important.
I'd just do it because I hate looking at it, though I doubt it would be enough to actually hurt my "chances" with women in general. It could, though, if I eventually resorted to trying online dating again, because most women (even average-looking ones) on online dating sites are well known to only concern themselves with the top 10-20% best looking guys, simply because of the volume that they have to wade through.
Quote from: Henk on March 10, 2015, 12:17:24 PM
You can be vain. Paint your eyebrowes or something. It might work. :laugh:
Pink?
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 10, 2015, 09:40:08 AM
Please tell me you're joking. There's enough bizarreness in this thread already.
That should tell you all you need to know about how silly it is to obsess over women's perception of yourself. Just get rid of that goatee / go full lumberjack. I'd wager what that girl said simply meant it doesn't work for you. Being yourself and listening to friendly fashion advice isn't mutually exclusive.
Finally Rinaldo and I agree! >:D :laugh:
Quote from: Ken B on March 10, 2015, 03:22:01 PMFinally Rinaldo and I agree! >:D :laugh:
Not to mention we both like Jodie Foster!
Quote from: Greg on March 10, 2015, 10:42:46 AMyour chances will still be lower if you don't quite look as appealing as they do
Quote from: Greg on March 10, 2015, 12:33:30 PMmost women (even average-looking ones) on online dating sites are well known to only concern themselves with the top 10-20% best looking guys
#1
There are movies / photoshoots and then there's real life. Learn the difference.
#2
That's what I was trying to point out on your Johnny 'The Hobo' Depp example. 'Best looking' is inherently subjective. One woman's Pitt is another woman's Buscemi (and vice versa). I have zero experience with online dating but I'd guess what you really need is a nice, natural picture (a healthy smile goes a long way), not plastic surgery. Sure, if there's a body feature you HATE and want to GET RID OF, do it for your own happiness. But when it comes to looks, there's always someone who'll find you to be their type, however unlikely. Hell, my wife loves Brad Pitt and swoons over Clooney but she also had a life-long crush on Mark Lanegan and that's when me, this disheveled ginger weirdo who always attracted (and was attracted by) other weirdos, got tangled up with a woman who I'd never imagine would find me attractive.
It's not a beauty contest, man. It's not a contest at all.
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 10, 2015, 09:47:57 PM
Not to mention we both like Jodie Foster!
#1
There are movies / photoshoots and then there's real life. Learn the difference.
#2
That's what I was trying to point out on your Johnny 'The Hobo' Depp example. 'Best looking' is inherently subjective. One woman's Pitt is another woman's Buscemi (and vice versa). I have zero experience with online dating but I'd guess what you really need is a nice, natural picture (a healthy smile goes a long way), not plastic surgery. Sure, if there's a body feature you HATE and want to GET RID OF, do it for your own happiness. But when it comes to looks, there's always someone who'll find you to be their type, however unlikely. Hell, my wife loves Brad Pitt and swoons over Clooney but she also had a life-long crush on Mark Lanegan and that's when me, this disheveled ginger weirdo who always attracted (and was attracted by) other weirdos, got tangled up with a woman who I'd never imagine would find me attractive.
It's not a beauty contest, man. It's not a contest at all.
I suppose. It's no big deal. It's just like how I used to wear glasses and hated it and now wear contacts even though they are a bit more of a pain and more expensive. And I wouldn't want to grow the hair back solely for the sake of covering it...
So, more importantly, I thought of a better way to ask her out... Hopefully by tomorrow I get a chance...
Greg, let them just talk. You're a true man, Rinaldo and Ken aren't as they show. You know what's best for you.
Liposuction isn't a problem at all, when you wanted to do it on your stomach, it would be an issue (do you agree?), but under your chin it's an other thing. Be sure you do it by a good surgeon. So that one can't see that you have letting done it.
You can just tell girls you let have done liposuction, there's nothing to hide. It's rather cool than insecure.
Modern times, Rinaldo, Ken.
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 10, 2015, 09:47:57 PM
Not to mention we both like Jodie Foster!
#1
There are movies / photoshoots and then there's real life. Learn the difference.
#2
That's what I was trying to point out on your Johnny 'The Hobo' Depp example. 'Best looking' is inherently subjective. One woman's Pitt is another woman's Buscemi (and vice versa). I have zero experience with online dating but I'd guess what you really need is a nice, natural picture (a healthy smile goes a long way), not plastic surgery. Sure, if there's a body feature you HATE and want to GET RID OF, do it for your own happiness. But when it comes to looks, there's always someone who'll find you to be their type, however unlikely. Hell, my wife loves Brad Pitt and swoons over Clooney but she also had a life-long crush on Mark Lanegan and that's when me, this disheveled ginger weirdo who always attracted (and was attracted by) other weirdos, got tangled up with a woman who I'd never imagine would find me attractive.
It's not a beauty contest, man. It's not a contest at all.
Isn't that a problem for you?? I would go mad in a long relationship. Maybe you have chosen the wrong woman? She thought she couldn't get Pitt or Clooney, so she ended up with some poor guy. ;) >:D :laugh:
It's you, not Greg, who actually compares with film stars..
I consider my case better. :)
You can't simply generalize on this matter. It's a sign of insecurity.
Quote from: Henk on March 12, 2015, 03:54:49 AM
Greg, let them just talk. You're a true man, Rinaldo and Ken aren't as they show. You know what's best for you.
Liposuction isn't a problem at all, when you wanted to do it on your stomach, it would be an issue (do you agree?), but under your chin it's an other thing. Be sure you do it by a good surgeon. So that one can't see that you have letting done it.
You can just tell girls you let have done liposuction, there's nothing to hide. It's rather cool than insecure.
Modern times, Rinaldo, Ken.
Hehe. For now I'll just keep a bit of stubble under/around it, which helps a lot. At this point I'm hardly bothered by it.
But yeah, I'd definitely do it eventually. And it's not such a big deal like what an aunt did before, which was a similar thing and she had a 10% chance of dying! And when she got it done, she said it was the best thing she ever did for herself.
Quote from: Henk on March 12, 2015, 04:10:56 AM
Isn't that a problem for you?? I would go mad in a long relationship. Maybe you have chosen the wrong woman? She thought she couldn't get Pitt or Clooney, so she ended up with some poor guy. ;) >:D :laugh:
I would feel the same way.
Good for whoever gets lucky enough to land someone that is completely out of their league, but I would just be wondering "why?"
Quote from: Henk on March 12, 2015, 04:10:56 AMIt's you, not Greg, who actually compares with film stars..
Quote from: Greg on March 12, 2015, 06:37:08 AMI would feel the same way. Good for whoever gets lucky enough to land someone that is completely out of their league, but I would just be wondering "why?"
I'm afraid you guys misunderstood my point. I wasn't comparing anything but giving an example how attractiveness doesn't adhere to some universal norm. And I wasn't talking about 'leagues' (a concept that's mostly bullshit if you ask me) either - I was simply surprised that this particular woman, who seemed to be going for very different type of guys than I was, would find me hot.
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 12, 2015, 07:21:21 AM
I'm afraid you guys misunderstood my point. I wasn't comparing anything but giving an example how attractiveness doesn't adhere to some universal norm. And I wasn't talking about 'leagues' (a concept that's mostly bullshit if you ask me) either - I was simply surprised that this particular woman, who seemed to be going for very different type of guys than I was, would find me hot.
Okay, gotcha. Makes sense. :)
(btw, I do agree about the "leagues" thing)
Okay, guys, here's a reminder: Women (at least the kind of women who make good dates and mates) like character. They may get hot and swoony over movie stars (and so do we!), but they stay with men who treat them well and whose company they enjoy. Looks are secondary at best in that equation. (And isn't that what we like too, when we strip away our culturally conditioned likes and dislikes?)
Now, Greg, my mother gave me some excellent advice once about asking for a date. She said, ask nonchalantly, off-the-cuff. (You may have rehearsed what you say endlessly, but it should sound off-the cuff--which, as actors know, often does take endless rehearsal. :laugh: ) It should NOT sound like it's a life-or-death thing for you; that scares the lady away.
I've also found that it's good for the first date to have something very specific to go to, like a movie or a play or even a new restaurant, and it should be something that she would enjoy even if you were not with her.
Finding out what she enjoys, of course, takes observation and research! For example, if you hear her mention a music group that's coming through town, find out on your own exactly when and where they're playing, how much the tickets cost, the whole program. Then, next time you see her, casually ask what she's doing that night, then ask, "Would you like me to get tickets?" That's just an example, of course, but such an approach works wonders. It shows you can do your homework, it shows interest in her interests, and it demonstrates a level of competence that most women find attractive. 8)
Quote from: jochanaan on March 12, 2015, 08:17:18 AM
Now, Greg, my mother gave me some excellent advice once about asking for a date. She said, ask nonchalantly, off-the-cuff. (You may have rehearsed what you say endlessly, but it should sound off-the cuff--which, as actors know, often does take endless rehearsal. :laugh: ) It should NOT sound like it's a life-or-death thing for you; that scares the lady away.
Exactly. That's why I'm glad I figured out a way to ask nonchalantly. And I'm thankful that the girls that have asked me have done the same, because if they asked directly and I had to say no that would be extremely uncomfortable and awkward.
I should have asked last time I saw her. Would have been so easy, but wasn't thinking.
She was complaining about asking out two other guys at work and getting rejected by both and asking if she's really that repulsive to guys (sounds like me a few months ago :-X ). I'll just say that if I were [guy that she asked], I would definitely be interested and they're crazy for not thinking the same way. If she says nothing to that, it would be safe to assume that she's not interested, right?
I give myself a 30% chance of a good outcome... sorry, this is what my intuition says and it's almost always scarily accurate... >:D
Quote from: Greg on March 12, 2015, 07:55:50 PM
I should have asked last time I saw her. Would have been so easy, but wasn't thinking.
She was complaining about asking out two other guys at work and getting rejected by both and asking if she's really that repulsive to guys (sounds like me a few months ago :-X ). I'll just say that if I were [guy that she asked], I would definitely be interested and they're crazy for not thinking the same way. If she says nothing to that, it would be safe to assume that she's not interested, right?
I give myself a 30% chance of a good outcome... sorry, this is what my intuition says and it's almost always scarily accurate... >:D
Oh jeez....
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 12, 2015, 08:01:44 PM
Oh jeez....
Oh yeah, I should write a heartfelt letter and kneel down while I read it to her in public. That's more your style, after all.
Quote from: Greg on March 12, 2015, 08:16:02 PMOh yeah, I should write a heartfelt letter and kneel down while I read it to her in public. That's more your style, after all.
At least my style actually requires me to tell a woman how I feel about her regardless of the outcome. You simply don't have the courage to be straight up and honest with her. Besides we're not talking about me, we're talking about you and your failure to communicate.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 12, 2015, 08:38:52 PM
At least my style actually requires me to tell a woman how I feel about her regardless of the outcome. You simply don't have the courage to be straight up and honest with her. Besides we're not talking about me, we're talking about you and your failure to communicate.
I'm with jochanaan on this one.
You have to think about how the other person feels. Save the feelings for when you are actually in the relationship. Like I said before, the last girl that asked me out did it perfectly because she made me laugh in the process. I didn't have to directly say no for her to get the gist that I'm not interested, and it was all good. If she went on talking about feelings and asked me very directly, it would have been a terrible experience for us both. I'd almost feel guilty of a crime or something. Likewise, I think guys that propose to their girlfriends on live TV are just total douchebags. If she doesn't say yes, she'll disappoint everyone watching and embarrass the guy in front of thousands of people. Just pointless.
But, do whatever you wanna do and I'll do what I wanna do...
Quote from: Greg on March 12, 2015, 07:55:50 PM
I should have asked last time I saw her. Would have been so easy, but wasn't thinking.
She was complaining about asking out two other guys at work and getting rejected by both and asking if she's really that repulsive to guys (sounds like me a few months ago :-X ). I'll just say that if I were [guy that she asked], I would definitely be interested and they're crazy for not thinking the same way. If she says nothing to that, it would be safe to assume that she's not interested, right?
I give myself a 30% chance of a good outcome... sorry, this is what my intuition says and it's almost always scarily accurate... >:D
Actually no. She understand you, but she can't say now that she wants to date with you. You close the door with this behaviour. You lower yourself, you say actually that you have less quality than other guys and you can't be with her, like you were of a lower caste (league). You act like a slave. You make a comedian of yourself. You give her the feeling she can't ask you because of this. You insult her by this.
Be more creative. Be more romantic. Say: "but when I ask you, would that all be different?". Something to laugh indeed, but in a romantic way. That _opens_ doors. Send her a postcard the other day.
But do it your way. I'm giving my tricks away. Hopefully it makes you think in more fruitful ways.
Quote from: Greg on March 13, 2015, 07:18:44 AM
I'm with jochanaan on this one.
You have to think about how the other person feels. Save the feelings for when you are actually in the relationship. Like I said before, the last girl that asked me out did it perfectly because she made me laugh in the process. I didn't have to directly say no for her to get the gist that I'm not interested, and it was all good. If she went on talking about feelings and asked me very directly, it would have been a terrible experience for us both. I'd almost feel guilty of a crime or something. Likewise, I think guys that propose to their girlfriends on live TV are just total douchebags. If she doesn't say yes, she'll disappoint everyone watching and embarrass the guy in front of thousands of people. Just pointless.
But, do whatever you wanna do and I'll do what I wanna do...
Goodness gracious me! Greg, I'm NOT saying get down on one knee and propose to the woman nor am I saying you should write her a poem and read it aloud to her. You're really making a mountain out of a molehill here. All I'm saying is you should tell her how you feel which goes something like this: "Hey (insert name of woman here), I think you're a really cool person and we seem to have a lot in common. Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?" Pretty simple, right? ::) Apparently it's not for you, because, again, you can't even muster up the courage to ask her. You really should stop making excuses and take some chances. If you get rejected, move onto another woman.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 13, 2015, 06:42:36 PM
Goodness gracious me! Greg, I'm NOT saying get down on one knee and propose to the woman nor am I saying you should write her a poem and read it aloud to her. You're really making a mountain out of a molehill here. All I'm saying is you should tell her how you feel which goes something like this: "Hey (insert name of woman here), I think you're a really cool person and we seem to have a lot in common. Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?" Pretty simple, right? ::) Apparently it's not for you, because, again, you can't even muster up the courage to ask her. You really should stop making excuses and take some chances. If you get rejected, move onto another woman.
Quote from: Henk on March 13, 2015, 01:24:04 PM
Actually no. She understand you, but she can't say now that she wants to date with you. You close the door with this behaviour. You lower yourself, you say actually that you have less quality than other guys and you can't be with her, like you were of a lower caste (league). You act like a slave. You make a comedian of yourself. You give her the feeling she can't ask you because of this. You insult her by this.
Be more creative. Be more romantic. Say: "but when I ask you, would that all be different?". Something to laugh indeed, but in a romantic way. That _opens_ doors. Send her a postcard the other day.
But do it your way. I'm giving my tricks away. Hopefully it makes you think in more fruitful ways.
Okay, I think I understand what you both are saying. But as Henk says, I have to do it my own way. (For example, dinner is a tricky thing with our schedules).
Hm, I'll just have to think of a better way to ask that's a bit more direct but not nerve-racking.
btw, I wish there were someone else I could move onto if this doesn't work out. This girl is literally the only girl I've ever liked that is also single in my entire life (excluding the girl I liked 9 years ago in high school, but I was a different person back then, so I wouldn't count that)...
Quote from: Greg on March 13, 2015, 07:36:40 PM
Okay, I think I understand what you both are saying. But as Henk says, I have to do it my own way. (For example, dinner is a tricky thing with our schedules).
Hm, I'll just have to think of a better way to ask that's a bit more direct but not nerve-racking.
:o It's a bloody necessity, Greg!
Quote from: Greg on March 13, 2015, 07:47:12 PM
btw, I wish there were someone else I could move onto if this doesn't work out. This girl is literally the only girl I've ever liked that is also single in my entire life (excluding the girl I liked 9 years ago in high school, but I was a different person back then, so I wouldn't count that)...
Be happy with this chance, Greg. Don't think about other ones, you should only have her on your mind.
Quote from: Greg on March 12, 2015, 07:55:50 PM
I should have asked last time I saw her. Would have been so easy, but wasn't thinking.
She was complaining about asking out two other guys at work and getting rejected by both and asking if she's really that repulsive to guys (sounds like me a few months ago :-X ). I'll just say that if I were [guy that she asked], I would definitely be interested and they're crazy for not thinking the same way. If she says nothing to that, it would be safe to assume that she's not interested, right?
I give myself a 30% chance of a good outcome... sorry, this is what my intuition says and it's almost always scarily accurate... >:D
Your whole mindset is wrong. If you think in this way you think in failures, not in success.
When you take your own failuring behaviour into account, it's not difficult. But you can do something about it, so this is just something that makes you think you don't need to change something, like you're the best lover in the world already and something other is to blame.
So maybe I'll just stick to being straightforward at first and then if she says no I'll go on about how the guys that weren't interested in her are crazy. Just something, anything so there's no awkward silence.
What about, "So I have a question for you. Would you be surprised if I told you I liked you?" and proceed to say how she'd be a great girlfriend/date/whatever or maybe just ask if she'd be interested in dating me. Idk, just an idea for now... easy to tell I'm not good at this. ;D
Quote from: Greg on March 14, 2015, 07:37:39 PMSo maybe I'll just stick to being straightforward at first and then if she says no I'll go on about how the guys that weren't interested in her are crazy. Just something, anything so there's no awkward silence.
What about, "So I have a question for you. Would you be surprised if I told you I liked you?" and proceed to say how she'd be a great girlfriend/date/whatever or maybe just ask if she'd be interested in dating me. Idk, just an idea for now... easy to tell I'm not good at this. ;D
Sounds good, Greg. Go for it!
I have to say... this may sound ridiculous, but finding out that out of any given 20 guys you are going to be the biggest is sort of changing how I'm looking at women right now...
Quote from: Greg on March 14, 2015, 07:37:39 PM
So maybe I'll just stick to being straightforward at first and then if she says no I'll go on about how the guys that weren't interested in her are crazy. Just something, anything so there's no awkward silence.
What about, "So I have a question for you. Would you be surprised if I told you I liked you?" and proceed to say how she'd be a great girlfriend/date/whatever or maybe just ask if she'd be interested in dating me. Idk, just an idea for now... easy to tell I'm not good at this. ;D
You are copying me, man!.. >:D ;)
Kidding, serious I really hope it's gonna work for you. And for her as well.
Sorry for that remark, Greg. Asking a playful question is a good way I think.
Quote from: Henk on March 15, 2015, 08:12:59 AM
You are copying me, man!.. >:D ;) It's good, Greg, you have done your homework, now the mark she's gonna give you. ;)
Kidding, serious I really hope it's gonna work for you. And for her as well.
Thanks... yeah, I thought you made a good point which is why I tried to think of a better way of asking.
Quote from: Henk on March 15, 2015, 08:18:51 AM
Sorry for that remark, Greg. Asking a playful question is a good way I think.
True, it sure beats "will you go out with me?" I'm sure we'll both be laughing when I say it.
It's been over 2 weeks now... getting sick of this. Possibly will see her after 7 tonight, but she says she'd work later if she could because she needs the money for her car repairs. Work is too busy now to even have a conversation with anyone.
So, whatever. Just going to put this out of mind and focus on other stuff. Not going to hold my breath for another chance to just sit down and talk with her for a few minutes.
I have a question...
I deleted that last post. If anyone sees it, please don't comment on it. Thought it was in poor taste for a public forum.
Odds are... slim.
Just talked to her for about half an hour, and part of the time she was talking to some little kid that was with her. I could overhear her talking and I think she was looking at my facebook when saying "no, I'm not into him, I guess I'm too picky when it comes to guys." There's a chance she was talking about someone else, but odds are she was talking about me.
I might just change my question to "I'm curious about what you saw in that loser you dated before but not in me?"
So, again, how do people get into relationships? There's still literally nothing I can do right now. My only idea is asking if she has any friends...
Quote from: Greg on March 16, 2015, 07:13:42 PM
Odds are... slim.
Just talked to her for about half an hour, and part of the time she was talking to some little kid that was with her. I could overhear her talking and I think she was looking at my facebook when saying "no, I'm not into him, I guess I'm too picky when it comes to guys." There's a chance she was talking about someone else, but odds are she was talking about me.
I might just change my question to "I'm curious about what you saw in that loser you dated before but not in me?"
So, again, how do people get into relationships? There's still literally nothing I can do right now. My only idea is asking if she has any friends...
You talked to her for half an hour and you didn't ask her out? Man, Greg, you're killing me here! :) You're analyzing this thing to death. Next time you see her, grab her hand, and pull her closer to you, and then tell her how you feel, which includes asking her out. You've got to be more assertive and, again, have more confidence in yourself.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 16, 2015, 07:23:07 PM
You talked to her for half an hour and you didn't ask her out? Man, Greg, you're killing me here! :) You're analyzing this thing to death. Next time you see her, grab her hand, and pull her closer to you, and then tell her how you feel, which includes asking her out. You've got to be more assertive and, again, have more confidence in yourself.
Looks like I forgot to write "on the phone." I wouldn't ask someone out on the phone.
Quote from: Greg on March 16, 2015, 07:26:30 PM
Looks like I forgot to write "on the phone." I wouldn't ask someone out on the phone.
When will you actually see her again? That's the question.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 16, 2015, 07:27:58 PM
When will you actually see her again? That's the question.
Ugh.
Today was my day off and she worked over to cover her car repair costs. She called me when she got home. My next day off is next Monday. I'd hang out with her at night if she wanted to, though.
I'm getting no flirty vibes from her at all. I'm just going to be honest and tell that I've been single my whole life and could use a change of pace, so if she has any friends that might be interested to let me know. She would have expressed interest by now if she were really interested.
Quote from: Greg on March 16, 2015, 07:38:46 PM
Ugh.
Today was my day off and she worked over to cover her car repair costs. She called me when she got home. My next day off is next Monday. I'd hang out with her at night if she wanted to, though.
I'm getting no flirty vibes from her at all. I'm just going to be honest and tell that I've been single my whole life and could use a change of pace, so if she has any friends that might be interested to let me know. She would have expressed interest by now if she were really interested.
Telling her you've been single your whole life isn't going to win her over and what it sounds like to me is you're giving up. Why did she call you whenever she got home? Was she returning a call?
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 16, 2015, 08:21:34 PM
Telling her you've been single your whole life isn't going to win her over and what it sounds like to me is you're giving up. Why did she call you whenever she got home? Was she returning a call?
Yeah, at this point I'm about 95% sure she just wants to be friends.
It would just be nice to have someone that you can be open with about that and could probably help. My guy friends are pretty useless with this- always nothing going on for them, either. She's told me in detail about her previous relationships and I never offered any information about myself. I could always still ask if she's interested, but since it'll almost certainly be a no, that'll allow me to be okay offering that information.
I guess she called because I called her earlier and she likes talking to someone before bed.
Quote from: Greg on March 16, 2015, 08:46:45 PM
Yeah, at this point I'm about 95% sure she just wants to be friends.
It would just be nice to have someone that you can be open with about that and could probably help. My guy friends are pretty useless with this- always nothing going on for them, either. She's told me in detail about her previous relationships and I never offered any information about myself. I could always still ask if she's interested, but since it'll almost certainly be a no, that'll allow me to be okay offering that information.
I guess she called because I called her earlier and she likes talking to someone before bed.
How do you
know with any certainty that she will say 'no' if you don't ask? Sounds like you're setting yourself up for failure. Again, the lack of self-confidence is apparent and this really is a turn-off for women. Be a damn man and ask her out already! Quit backing out every time the opportunity presents itself or stop making excuses as to why you haven't asked her out yet.
Let me say this, remember that Pakistani woman I liked that I was telling you about? It took a lot out of me to tell her how I felt, but I'm glad I did and I don't regret it even though the end result wasn't a satisfactory one. At least I told her and was honest with how I felt about her. The only thing I gained from this was knowing that I did what I had to do in order to relieve myself. Courage, confidence, and assertiveness are the necessary requirements for asking a woman out. Time is not on your side here, which is why you need to act quickly.
Mirror Image is right. Time is short. By the time you make up a plan to approach her she may not be there any more. Are you very afraid of being rejected?
Quote from: Greg on March 16, 2015, 07:38:46 PM
...She called me when she got home....
That, my friend, is a positive sign! Very. ;D If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't have made the effort.
When I said "be nonchalant," that does not preclude being direct. :)
Quote from: jochanaan on March 17, 2015, 08:03:20 AM
That, my friend, is a positive sign! Very. ;D If she wasn't interested, she wouldn't have made the effort.
One thing I've learned from another girl I used to be interested in is to never give importance to "signs." That girl used to randomly say that she loved me and would text me when she had boyfriend issues. Never meant anything.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 16, 2015, 08:53:10 PM
How do you know with any certainty that she will say 'no' if you don't ask? Sounds like you're setting yourself up for failure. Again, the lack of self-confidence is apparent and this really is a turn-off for women. Be a damn man and ask her out already! Quit backing out every time the opportunity presents itself or stop making excuses as to why you haven't asked her out yet.
I don't think confidence has anything to do with it. I don't exactly lack it. There's a difference between being confident (which I am) and being confident that someone will like you.
At this point, I'll ask but don't care how I'll go about it. Just next time we hang out, however it comes out. And if she really liked me, it wouldn't matter how I asked.
Quote from: Greg on March 17, 2015, 09:03:42 AM
And if she really liked me, it wouldn't matter how I asked.
The first intelligent thing you've ever said on this thread ;D ;)
Sarge
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 17, 2015, 09:07:00 AM
The first intelligent thing you've ever said on this thread ;D ;)
Sarge
(* chortle *)
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 17, 2015, 09:07:00 AM
The first intelligent thing you've ever said on this thread ;D ;)
Sarge
Lol.
True, though- if a girl likes you and then turns you down because the way they ask you out doesn't sound confident enough, that would be weird.
I got the feeling she didn't really like the first time I asked her out to hang out, back in (I think) around August last year. Which I posted about here...
You know what. I'm done here. If anyone wants to post about their own dating situations, cool. Renaming the thread and not going to post here any more.
All I'll say is this: living in my conservative Christian household has definitely prevented me from being my true self throughout my life. I can sorta be my true self, but not completely. I'll be more how I really am when I'm out. And don't ask what I mean by that, since I don't feel like explaining.
Quote from: Greg on March 17, 2015, 12:26:56 PM
You know what. I'm done here. If anyone wants to post about their own dating situations, cool. Renaming the thread and not going to post here any more.
All I'll say is this: living in my conservative Christian household has definitely prevented me from being my true self throughout my life. I can sorta be my true self, but not completely. I'll be more how I really am when I'm out. And don't ask what I mean by that, since I don't feel like explaining.
Whatever you mean is fine with me. As long as you don't mean you're a closet Boulezian.
That's right. Bring it right out into the open!
Quote from: karlhenning on March 17, 2015, 02:02:52 PM
That's right. Bring it right out into the open!
Why I oughtta ...
"Once More Into the Breach, Lads!"
Quote from: Greg on March 17, 2015, 09:03:42 AMI don't think confidence has anything to do with it. I don't exactly lack it. There's a difference between being confident (which I am) and being confident that someone will like you.
At this point, I'll ask but don't care how I'll go about it. Just next time we hang out, however it comes out. And if she really liked me, it wouldn't matter how I asked.
Confidence certainly has a lot to do with it. If you were confident, then it wouldn't be any skin off your back if she said "no," you simply would just move on and count it as her loss. There's something holding you back from asking her and perhaps, you're right, it might not be lack of confidence, but rather a fear of rejection.
Let me add that I've been rejected so many times that I couldn't possibly keep count, but I'm not giving up. Never give up. She's out there somewhere.
QuoteHappiness in this world, when it comes, comes incidentally. Make it the object of pursuit, and it leads us a wild-goose chase, and is never attained. Follow some other object, and very possibly we may find that we have caught happiness without dreaming of it; but likely enough it is gone the moment we say to ourselves, "Here it is!" like the chest of gold that treasure-seekers find.
Hawthorne
Quote from: Greg on March 17, 2015, 09:30:53 AM
Lol.
True, though- if a girl likes you and then turns you down because the way they ask you out doesn't sound confident enough, that would be weird.
True. Also the other way around of course. I wonder how the other guys in this thread got their girlfriends..? ???
Quote from: Greg on March 17, 2015, 12:26:56 PM
You know what. I'm done here. If anyone wants to post about their own dating situations, cool. Renaming the thread and not going to post here any more. (1)
All I'll say is this: living in my conservative Christian household has definitely prevented me from being my true self throughout my life. I can sorta be my true self, but not completely. I'll be more how I really am when I'm out. And don't ask what I mean by that, since I don't feel like explaining. (2)
(1) Wise decision.
(2) Bad for you. :( Good you are aware.
Quote from: Henk on March 18, 2015, 05:22:22 AM
True. Also the other way around of course. I wonder how the other guys in this thread got their girlfriends..? ???
We met the way many people do, at work. Every now and then we'd be on the same job. From the outset we were comfortable together, but as time passed it became obvious there was something good and warm and positive between us. Eventually it led to where we are now.
Quote from: Henk on March 18, 2015, 05:22:22 AMI wonder how the other guys in this thread got their girlfriends..? ???
The usual, mundane way: meeting people. A friend's birthday (that's where I met the woman who got me into classical music), a grade school reunion, catching up with a colleague who was having wine with one of his friends..
As for my wife, I was a freelance journalist, she was one of my editors. We met once, had a great talk about work & life & everything, then the next summer, she invited me on a road trip to Lake Constance and I said yes – as did she, two years later.
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 18, 2015, 07:32:27 AMAs for my wife, I was a freelance journalist, she was one of my editors. We met once, had a great talk about work & life & everything, then the next summer, she invited me on a road trip to Lake Constance and I said yes – as did she, two years later.
Wow, you must have made quite the impression on her for her to invite you (out of the blue?) on that road trip. Did anyone else go with you guys or did you go alone?
Quote from: Henk on March 18, 2015, 05:22:22 AM
I wonder how the other guys in this thread got their girlfriends..? ???
The highlights (the major women or milestones in my life and the age I was when I met them):
First girlfriend (age 14): I met her at band camp. She was in the saxophone section too. We hung out in a group situation (she liked my jokes) and then, a week later after school started, I offered to carry her books home for her. Really Old School date, pun intended ;D Our "relationship" lasted about three weeks, never got beyond necking and petting.
First real date (age 16) after I'd gotten my driver's license: I asked another band member (trumpet this time) to go to the Homecoming Dance. She accepted. We discovered during the course of the evening that we had absolutely nothing in common.
First serious girlfriend (age 17): We were in a school play together, (one-act play competition), the leads. We got to know each other in the course of rehearsals. She eventually asked
me to a dance and we hit it off. We lasted six months, until she graduated high school and went to a distant college. But over the next five years we dated sporadically when we were both in town. Eventually we married (the marriage lasted four years).
The first real love of my life (age 18): another band member (another trumpet player) and a cheerleader. One of the most popular girls in school, cute, smart (National Honor Society). She said yes when I asked her to the Christmas Ball. We lasted 16 months. The relationship didn't survive the separation after I left for university.
After the cheerleader and I broke up, I asked my best friend at OU to dinner. We had a great time but when I kissed her at the end of the evening, we both laughed. We were too deep in the friend zone at that point to make a romantic relationship work. The attempt, though, did no harm to our friendship. In fact, we're still friends today.
The horn player (age 19): During the summer session at Ohio U, taking a music theory class, I often noticed an attractive but profoundly sad looking woman carrying a French horn case around the music building. Three weeks after first noticing her, I just happened to see her break up with her boyfriend (who I discovered later was the concertmaster of the university orchestra). She walked past me in tears. I followed her, asked her if she needed help and struck up a conversation with her. After talking to her for 15 minutes, I asked her on a date: a walk to the duck pond on the other side of the campus ;D Unbelievably, she accepted. The remainder of the summer was pure magic. She was a wonder: probably the most interesting, fascinating really, woman I've ever known. During the break between summer and fall quarters, I went home and dated...
....the most beautiful woman I've ever known: She was the best friend of my best friend's girlfriend. They arranged our first date to the Cedar Point Amusement Park. Not a blind date--we'd met before. We saw each other sporadically that fall (our schedules conflicted and our universities were 200 mile apart). Our last date (dinner and a drive-in movie) ended with, not a bang but a whimper. We just had no chemistry. But god, was she lovely.
Back at OU my relationship with the horn player ended catastrophically. I was so devastated I quit going to class, didn't take finals. Two months later I joined the army. My first assignment after training was with the 7th Infantry Division on the DMZ in Korea. In the village next to the Zone I met a woman in a tailor shop. Measuring my inseam for a pair of pants gave me an opening to engage her in conversation ;) When I returned the next week to pick up my items, I asked her to dinner. She accepted. We were together six months.
After my first marriage ended (age 26), I dated two female soldiers in Germany. One was in my unit. We'd flirted jokingly before my marriage ended but after it did, she got serious. She asked
me out and then I asked her to spend a weekend with me at a friend's apartment in Strasbourg France. It went well but there was nothing there except the physical. Another soldier I met at a U of Maryland class on base was more intellectually interesting. I asked her to my apartment for a home cooked steak dinner. She said yes. It turned out though she was more interested in the meat than me :D We only lasted a month. That's when a friend's wife came to my rescue....
...she knew a young German woman, her landlord's daughter, who loved classical music too. She hosted a party where she introduced me to the woman. We only spoke briefly but I liked her. I showed up at her house the next day, with the Berlioz Requiem in hand instead of flowers and candy ;D I asked her to go to a Mahler 2 concert and she accepted. 20 months later she became Mrs. Rock.
The point here: you just have to be bold (or be so darn attractive yourself that girls will ask you out :laugh: ). Ask and you shall receive...sometimes (I recall with great pain too the failed attempts, the girls who said no, or even hell no!).
Sarge
Quote from: Henk on March 18, 2015, 05:22:22 AM
True. Also the other way around of course. I wonder how the other guys in this thread got their girlfriends..? ???
A mutual friend introduced me to my lady. I "got" her simply by being me. She "got" me by being completely open about herself. She's passed away now, and I miss her, but it was a joy to be with her.
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 18, 2015, 08:03:11 AM
....the most beautiful woman I've ever known: ... Our last date (dinner and a drive-in movie) ended with, not a bang but a whimper. We just had no chemistry. But god, was she lovely.
Sigh. When I was 30 I asked out the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. To my surprise she accepted and even seemed pleased. But ... no chemistry. Largely my fault, because she was so absurdly beautiful it's hard to be natural, but also because she was 21. I found her too unformed, and I think she found me rather dull and awkward.
But god, was she lovely.
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 18, 2015, 08:03:11 AM
(or be so darn attractive yourself that girls will ask you out :laugh: ).
That certainly helps.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 18, 2015, 07:46:29 AM
Wow, you must have made quite the impression on her for her to invite you (out of the blue?) on that road trip. Did anyone else go with you guys or did you go alone?
Not really, she just had a crush on me (and always liked my articles, so she knew I wasn't a total buffoon). We came from such different backgrounds that neither of us seriously thought about getting together, but there was definitely some chemistry, and we talked about meeting again for a coffee or something, so it wasn't totally out of the blue. Plus, she's quite the adventurous type, diving headfirst into ideas others (like me, for example) would hesitate to realize. So we went alone, both a little unsure of what the other's intentions are.
QuoteThe point here: you just have to be bold
This. I used to be
very shy in my early twenties, and there was this girl that would be a serious contender in my version of the 'most beautiful woman in the world' category. I was enamored by her and although being in a relationship back then kept me at a distance, I wouldn't dare to ask her out even if I wasn't. How could such a princess like a freak like me? We were good friends, went to the movies together, had a lot of laughs, but that was it. Guess what? Years later, when we randomly met, she mentioned how she was secretly in love with me and never made a move because I wasn't single. If there was a thunder heard all around the world at that moment, it was the majestic D'OH that went through my brain.
Sure, the dismissals can be awkward and the bad ones do sting quite a bit. But there are much tougher challenges in life than hearing 'no' from a person you're interested in.
Quote from: Ken B on March 18, 2015, 09:59:00 AM
Sigh. When I was 30 I asked out the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. To my surprise she accepted and even seemed pleased. But ... no chemistry. Largely my fault, because she was so absurdly beautiful it's hard to be natural, but also because she was 21. I found her too unformed, and I think she found me rather dull and awkward. But god, was she lovely.
Strange, isn't it. I still can't explain why there was no heat even though we obviously liked each other, and were interested in each other. The relationship went nowhere. We were the same age so we didn't have your problem with the age difference. She was a devout Catholic (and I wasn't...Catholic or devout) and she wanted a half dozen kids...but at the point, considering her physical attributes, I was willing to embrace the papish ;D
Sarge
'Give up and you will succeed' is a Taoist saying I like. After a few short lived and disastrous relationships I went on a group walking holiday. My best friend from university brought along two former students whom he had remained friends with. I thought that one of them was far too pretty to have any interest in me so made no attempt at any kind of romantic involvement with her. We became friends on the holiday and when she went back to university afterwards I gave it no more thought. Then some time later she phoned me up from university, to my surprise, as she was going through a difficult time and she temporarily dropped out of university and came back to London. I assumed that she wanted a shoulder to cry on and by this time assumed that this was always the role I was destined to play; so whilst we saw a lot of each other I assumed that she had no romantic interest in me. At this time there was another girl I really liked but she just wanted friendship. However, one day she turned up at my house and my walking holiday friend was there. I was secretly very pleased as I found out from someone else that she was very jealous of my new friendship. Over time it became clear to others, although not myself that the walking holiday girl was interested in me. When my brother asked my mother what was going on between me and this girl my mother replied 'oh, she is just a friend' to which my brother replied 'if he thinks that he is more naive than I was!' Anyway, we were friends for a long time before anything happened and it is clear that it was because I did not pursue her for a romantic relationship that she became interested in me and maybe also because there was another girl who was around. I was thrown into great confusion as the other girl whom I had been unsuccessfully pursuing suddenly became interested in me, but this was only because of jealousy. It was very odd how things turned out. I married the walking holiday girl 28 years ago. There have been many ups and downs but we are still together and have a grown up daughter who has met two people on this forum. Which brings me back to the paradoxical Taoist statement 'give up and you will succeed' that was my experience anyway.
Quote from: jochanaan on March 18, 2015, 08:21:35 AM
A mutual friend introduced me to my lady. I "got" her simply by being me. She "got" me by being completely open about herself. She's passed away now, and I miss her, but it was a joy to be with her.
She'll always be with you, jochanaan. You were fortunate to have each other.
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 18, 2015, 01:34:54 PMNot really, she just had a crush on me (and always liked my articles, so she knew I wasn't a total buffoon). We came from such different backgrounds that neither of us seriously thought about getting together, but there was definitely some chemistry, and we talked about meeting again for a coffee or something, so it wasn't totally out of the blue. Plus, she's quite the adventurous type, diving headfirst into ideas others (like me, for example) would hesitate to realize. So we went alone, both a little unsure of what the other's intentions are.
This great to read. Best of luck to you, Rinaldo. How long have you been married now?
Quote from: vandermolen on March 18, 2015, 02:15:20 PM
'Give up and you will succeed' is a Taoist saying I like. After a few short lived and disastrous relationships I went on a group walking holiday. My best friend from university brought along two former students whom he had remained friends with. I thought that one of them was far too pretty to have any interest in me so made no attempt at any kind of romantic involvement with her. We became friends on the holiday and when she went back to university afterwards I gave it no more thought. Then some time later she phoned me up from university, to my surprise, as she was going through a difficult time and she temporarily dropped out of university and came back to London. I assumed that she wanted a shoulder to cry on and by this time assumed that this was always the role I was destined to play; so whilst we saw a lot of each other I assumed that she had no romantic interest in me. At this time there was another girl I really liked but she just wanted friendship. However, one day she turned up at my house and my walking holiday friend was there. I was secretly very pleased as I found out from someone else that she was very jealous of my new friendship. Over time it became clear to others, although not myself that the walking holiday girl was interested in me. When my brother asked my mother what was going on between me and this girl my mother replied 'oh, she is just a friend' to which my brother replied 'if he thinks that he is more naive than I was!' Anyway, we were friends for a long time before anything happened and it is clear that it was because I did not pursue her for a romantic relationship that she became interested in me and maybe also because there was another girl who was around. I was thrown into great confusion as the other girl whom I had been unsuccessfully pursuing suddenly became interested in me, but this was only because of jealousy. It was very odd how things turned out. I married the walking holiday girl 28 years ago. There have been many ups and downs but we are still together and have a grown up daughter who has met two people on this forum. Which brings me back to the paradoxical Taoist statement 'give up and you will succeed' that was my experience anyway.
This was a great read, Jeffrey. You certainly have given me hope.
Well, now it doesn't matter if I post here or not despite saying that I wouldn't post here.
That's because she's gotten to the point where she's annoyed me so much that it sort of made me realize that she just wouldn't be good for a relationship. For a one night stand, sure, if you're into that. But I just couldn't stand for her to be the closest person to me in my life. The reason is that she's just incredibly dumb. Talking to my dog is more interesting than talking to her. And less annoying.
Of course, I'll hang out with her since one of my friends I don't see any more and I have room for 2 friends, maximum. Maybe just to play pool and laugh at her when she's drunk and get hugs. But there's really no chemistry unless I lowered my IQ to that of a retarded lizard, which I'd rather not do.
Quote from: Greg on March 18, 2015, 07:25:35 PM
Well, now it doesn't matter if I post here or not despite saying that I wouldn't post here.
That's because she's gotten to the point where she's annoyed me so much that it sort of made me realize that she just wouldn't be good for a relationship. For a one night stand, sure, if you're into that. But I just couldn't stand for her to be the closest person to me in my life. The reason is that she's just incredibly dumb. Talking to my dog is more interesting than talking to her. And less annoying.
Of course, I'll hang out with her since one of my friends I don't see any more and I have room for 2 friends, maximum. Maybe just to play pool and laugh at her when she's drunk and get hugs. But there's really no chemistry unless I lowered my IQ to that of a retarded lizard, which I'd rather not do.
Quite a turn of events, Greg! One day, you're attracted to her and, now, she's a dummy and annoys you. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. No reason why you should lower your IQ to be with someone who you wouldn't feel you're going to be compatible with. I guess it's a good thing you never asked her out. ;)
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 18, 2015, 07:32:46 PM
Quite a turn of events, Greg! One day, you're attracted to her and, now, she's a dummy and annoys you. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. No reason why you should lower your IQ to be with someone who you wouldn't feel you're going to be compatible with. I guess it's a good thing you never asked her out. ;)
True, I never thought I'd be as finicky as you, but here I am. :D
Yeah, never asking her out would mean that I've been rejected 3 times and rejected 4 times. But this is isn't a game!!! >:D
I'm not gonna lie- if she just said to me "let's fuck" I'd get straight to it, but "let's talk every day" would make me react quite differently. The main thing that was the last straw for me was how she'd react to my jokes, every time. Just "huh?" Like I'm talking to someone that is brain damaged. That's not all, but definitely the main thing.
btw, I think the sea is contaminated. Or at least, mine is.
Quote from: Greg on March 18, 2015, 07:42:14 PM
True, I never thought I'd be as finicky as you, but here I am. :D
Yeah, never asking her out would mean that I've been rejected 3 times and rejected 4 times. But this is isn't a game!!! >:D
I'm not gonna lie- if she just said to me "let's fuck" I'd get straight to it, but "let's talk every day" would make me react quite differently. The main thing that was the last straw for me was how she'd react to my jokes, every time. Just "huh?" Like I'm talking to someone that is brain damaged. That's not all, but definitely the main thing.
btw, I think the sea is contaminated. Or at least, mine is.
I could never use a woman just for sex or be involved with a woman that just wanted to have sex all the time with no sort of possible future for the two of us in mind. I'm after true love, so, in this regard, I suppose I'm a romantic or could be viewed as some kind of idealist, but, hey, I'm not going to compromise on the kind of relationship I want.
A woman who doesn't get my jokes is not the woman for me. I have a sarcastic, but also an offbeat sense of humor and if she can't comprehend and laugh at these jokes, then it's most definitely not going to work out, because a relationship needs humor IMHO.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 18, 2015, 07:07:55 PMThis great to read. Best of luck to you, Rinaldo. How long have you been married now?
Thank you. It's gonna be two years this summer.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 18, 2015, 07:13:10 PM
This was a great read, Jeffrey. You certainly have given me hope.
Thank you John! Frankly I had more or less given up on finding anyone when I met my wife. I was 30 at the time. It reminded me a bit of the story that if you chase a butterfly it flies away but if you stand still it might land on your shoulder. This was my experience anyway but I suspect that if you put yourself in a position where you meet lots of people sooner or later something will happen. The psychoanalyst Viktor Frankl said that there may be nine unhappy love affairs for every happy one, but keep persevering is my advice and see my Churchill quote below. :)
Quote from: vandermolen on March 18, 2015, 09:48:10 PM
Thank you John! Frankly I had more or less given up on finding anyone when I met my wife. I was 30 at the time. It reminded me a bit of the story that if you chase a butterfly it flies away but if you stand still it might land on your shoulder. This was my experience anyway but I suspect that if you put yourself in a position where you meet lots of people sooner or later something will happen. The psychoanalyst Viktor Frankl said that there may be nine unhappy love affairs for every happy one, but keep persevering is my advice and see my Churchill quote below. :)
Wise words. :) I'll keep your advice in mind.
I think I'm gonna have an essay to write here... :P
the thesis: what I said about her being dumb was only secondary. The main thing: I don't feel like I can be myself around her because she just casually dismisses me whenever I'm myself. That's the biggest turnoff. But those two things may be related.
If one cannot be oneself around someone this would for me already make a close non-romantic friendship difficult. Of course everybody shows different aspects of himself in respective company etc. But constant playing someone else is rather strenuous, I guess.
But I am so far removed from the dating culture of 20something Americans that I probably do not really understand what Greg is talking about...
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 18, 2015, 07:53:53 PM
I could never use a woman just for sex or be involved with a woman that just wanted to have sex all the time with no sort of possible future for the two of us in mind.
At this point in my life, I wouldn't mind a friends with benefits sort of thing. But I couldn't be in a serious relationship with her because I just can't take her seriously.
I couldn't think of a future right now, especially if it were something as serious as marriage, or marriage itself. It would be like jumping into 12th grade when you haven't even started kindergarten. Or trying heroin when you haven't done any other type of drug before.
Anyways, to cheer myself up, I'm reminding myself that there are fish in the sea that aren't contaminated, but they're imaginary. So better than nothing, huh? I thought up the anime girls I'd like to date most if they were real (in order).
1. Yui Hirasawa (K-On!)- the embodiment of moe. My heart melts just thinking about her.
2. Lucy Heartfilia (Fairy Tail)- beautiful person inside and out
3. Lala (To Love-Ru)- totally fun genius/mad scientist
4. Mio Akiyama (K-On!)- *drools...*
5. Eru Chitanda (Hyouka)- hot and has $$$
6. Yurippe (Angel Beats)- just awesome
7. Erza Scarlet (Fairy Tail)- super strong and interestingly quirky
8. Botan (Yu Yu Hakusho)- that British accent!
9. Rias Gremory (High School DxD)- a protective, loving person
And here's my list of real life girls:
1. um....
2. um, my friends if they were cute girls
3. um....
Guess I got nothing. :P And yes, I spend way more time out of the house than I do watching anime. At least I'm not taking pictures of myself while putting my "waifu" in the background like my friend is doing... :-X
Quote from: Greg on March 19, 2015, 04:41:50 PM
I thought up the anime girls I'd like to date most if they were real (in order).
Ask Krieger to hook you up with a virtual girlfriend ;D
https://www.youtube.com/v/6FqnRSoX0po
Sarge
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 19, 2015, 05:01:24 PM
Ask Krieger to hook you up with a virtual girlfriend ;D
https://www.youtube.com/v/6FqnRSoX0po
Sarge
Between the Oculus Rift and this upcoming Magic Leap augmented reality, I may not need to ask Krieger...
Quote from: vandermolen on March 18, 2015, 02:15:20 PM
'Give up and you will succeed' is a Taoist saying I like.
An excellent saying, and apropos to the subject at hand, imo.
Quote from: Jo498 on March 19, 2015, 09:30:22 AMI probably do not really understand what Greg is talking about...
I never understand what Greg is talking about. ;D
Quote from: Greg on March 19, 2015, 04:41:50 PM
Anyways, to cheer myself up, I'm reminding myself that there are fish in the sea that aren't contaminated, but they're imaginary. So better than nothing, huh? I thought up the anime girls I'd like to date most if they were real (in order).
Greg, I suggest you read this (http://geeksdreamgirl.com/2011/07/25/come-hell-or-high-standards-why-anime-hasn%E2%80%99t-ruined-%E2%80%9Creal-girls%E2%80%9D-for-you/).
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 20, 2015, 07:44:27 AM
Greg, I suggest you read this (http://geeksdreamgirl.com/2011/07/25/come-hell-or-high-standards-why-anime-hasn%E2%80%99t-ruined-%E2%80%9Creal-girls%E2%80%9D-for-you/).
lol, that was entertaining reading and definitely a topic I've thought about before. Thanks for that.
Yeah, there's definitely a difference between fantasy and reality. Anime can sometimes be like the version of romance novels for guys, especially certain genres.
In reality, I'm just into whatever I find attractive. Of course real girls aren't going to be perfect like (some) anime girls.
(Haruhi's "terrible morning breath" made me lol)
I like the picture. I think every guy would appreciate this, though. :P
(http://geeksdreamgirl.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/anime-ruins-women.jpg)
This would also be cool to see- dressing up like my favorite anime girl.
http://reiichi5.deviantart.com/art/Yui-Hirasawa-cosplay-263081605
Finding another hobby than anime might be a start...
I probably enjoy lots of pics others might find "degrading" but I have to admit that I find those anime babes fairly disgusting.
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 08:21:40 AM
lol, that was entertaining reading and definitely a topic I've thought about before. Thanks for that.
Yeah, there's definitely a difference between fantasy and reality. Anime can sometimes be like the version of romance novels for guys, especially certain genres.
In reality, I'm just into whatever I find attractive. Of course real girls aren't going to be perfect like (some) anime girls.
(Haruhi's "terrible morning breath" made me lol)
I like the picture. I think every guy would appreciate this, though. :P
(http://geeksdreamgirl.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/anime-ruins-women.jpg)
This would also be cool to see- dressing up like my favorite anime girl.
http://reiichi5.deviantart.com/art/Yui-Hirasawa-cosplay-263081605
Sick. Disgusting. If you keep thinking like this I'm afraid you will be staying single the rest of your life.
Artists have drawn that stuff. Has your sexuality been defined by fun meant drawings of some artists?
I guess I can spare everyone the long essay I was planning to write. I ended up messaging the girl I contacted back in September (the one I had asked out a few years ago) who people like snyprrr told me "don't listen to girl advice," etc. not sure if anyone remembers...
She ended up asking about the new cute blonde girl. I told her she's kinda the same way- just seems like a one-dimensional party girl, and she said I can do better because she thinks the girl's tattoos are lame. :D Then we had an interesting discussion of tattoos and such.
I might end up getting a couple of tattoos when I move out (nothing too much, because that can look ugly). The only one I have in mind, now, though is the cover of Meshuggah's Catch 33:
http://www.lastsparrowtattoo.com/gallery/files/2/2/7/5/img_0418.jpg
Quote from: Jo498 on March 20, 2015, 10:43:30 AM
Finding another hobby than anime might be a start...
I have too many hobbies already... :-\
Quote from: Jo498 on March 20, 2015, 10:43:30 AM
I probably enjoy lots of pics others might find "degrading" but I have to admit that I find those anime babes fairly disgusting.
Well, everyone has different tastes.
That was rather rude, Henk. I like stuff like that because it appears very feminine and cute to me.
You wrote: "Of course real girls aren't going to be perfect like (some) anime girls."
If you think that anime girls are better than real girls you have a big problem. That's pretty sick and disgusting. I love those manga drawings, but I realize those are just drawings. You get fantasies by it, that's not a good thing I think, playing those games, it controls your sexuality. "Final fantasy", it's already in the name. Let it not be final, Greg.
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 11:16:35 AM
That was rather rude, Henk. I like stuff like that because it appears very feminine and cute to me.
Totally weird.
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 11:29:50 AM
Totally weird.
So you like more masculine women?
Some of the characters can be the equivalent of male characters in romance novels. I'm not against that, either, even if they're totally fictional. I don't think it's an issue for anyone. It's just a fantasy, that's all.
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 11:32:41 AM
So you like more masculine women?
Some of the characters can be the equivalent of male characters in romance novels. I'm not against that, either, even if they're totally fictional. I don't think it's an issue for anyone. It's just a fantasy, that's all.
I like sweet girls as well, but that anime picture doesn't give me any impression of that at all.
You wrote: "Of course real girls aren't going to be perfect like (some) anime girls."
Please explain, then we may get some understanding.
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 11:39:16 AM
I like sweet girls as well, but that anime picture doesn't give me any impression of that at all.
You wrote: "Of course real girls aren't going to be perfect like (some) anime girls."
Explain, then we may get some understanding.
Basically what that was the whole point of the article Rinaldo posted. They intentionally try to make you fall in love with some characters, and part of the way they do that is by never showing their major flaws and turnoffs. Which is okay.
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 11:42:33 AM
Basically what that was the whole point of the article Rinaldo posted. They intentionally try to make you fall in love with some characters, and part of the way they do that is by never showing their major flaws and turnoffs. Which is okay.
Really? ::)
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 11:44:14 AM
Really? ::)
I forgot I was talking to the king of Anti-Romaticism here. I like to daydream about ideal stuff and it doesn't ruin the real stuff for me, so it's all good. If it does for you, I guess do or don't do whatever you gotta do.
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 11:46:37 AM
I forgot I was talking to the king of Anti-Romaticism here. I like to daydream about ideal stuff and it doesn't ruin the real stuff for me, so it's all good. If it does for you, I guess do or don't do whatever you gotta do.
It doesn't for me. I have my
own fantasies. I am not ruined by fantasies created by others, you are I think.
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 11:46:37 AM
I forgot I was talking to the king of Anti-Romaticism here. I like to daydream about ideal stuff and it doesn't ruin the real stuff for me, so it's all good. If it does for you, I guess do or don't do whatever you gotta do.
Please explain? I really don't understand what you mean..
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 11:51:23 AM
It doesn't for me. I have my own fantasies. I am not ruined by fantasies created by others, you are I think.
Oh, I take other's ideas and manipulate them in my own way. ;)
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 11:53:21 AM
Please explain? I really don't understand what you mean..
Didn't you have some long rant about how much you didn't like Romanticism a year or two ago? Seems like this could relate, but idk, my memory may be off.
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 11:46:37 AM
I forgot I was talking to the king of Anti-Romaticism here. I like to daydream about ideal stuff and it doesn't ruin the real stuff for me, so it's all good. If it does for you, I guess do or don't do whatever you gotta do.
I daydream of things that actually can happen. Again, Greg, I strongly advice you to stop doing things like this. Really not healthy imo. Go in therapy.
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 11:59:37 AM
I daydream of things that actually can happen. Again, Greg, I strongly advice you to stop doing things like this. Really not healthy imo. Go in therapy.
You're so silly. :D
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 11:57:38 AM
Oh, I take other's ideas and manipulate them in my own way. ;)
Didn't you have some long rant about how much you didn't like Romanticism a year or two ago? Seems like this could relate, but idk, my memory may be off.
Can't remember. I also don't understand exactly how it can relate. Can you give me some more information? Curious about it, I want to know my own past, something I'm working on lately. So if you can help, that would be nice.
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 12:03:13 PM
You're so silly. :D
Or I don't understand you as you don't make yourself clear.. and say rather dumb stuff.
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 12:04:14 PM
Can't remember. I also don't exactly how it can relate. Can you give me some more information? Curious about it, I want to know my own past, something I'm working on lately. So if you can help, that would be nice.
I only have a vague memory of it. Something to do with "Romanticism can conjure up images of ideal realities which aren't healthy to the mind" or something like that. Sorry, don't remember much more than that.
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 12:05:13 PM
Or I don't understand you as you don't make yourself clear.. and say rather dumb stuff.
I think it's silly because there are so many people that find anime characters appealing. If everyone that did went to therapy, there'd probably be a couple million in this country alone. Same goes for girls, too. If you ever go to youtube and read through the comments section on Hetalia Axis Powers, it's nothing but fangirls drooling over male characters on every single episode. Hell, if I were a girl, Yuusuke (the middle black-haired guy in my avatar) would be my man crush just because he's a totally awesome character. I'm sure there's probably even a couple guys here who are into anime and find some of the girls attractive.
You can go over the line, of course. When you completely refuse real girls in favor of being only with a pretend wife, then that's just dumb.
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 12:16:22 PM
I only have a vague memory of it. Something to do with "Romanticism can conjure up images of ideal realities which aren't healthy to the mind" or something like that. Sorry, don't remember much more than that.
I think it's silly because there are so many people that find anime characters appealing. If everyone that did went to therapy, there'd probably be a couple million in this country alone. Same goes for girls, too. If you ever go to youtube and read through the comments section on Hetalia Axis Powers, it's nothing but fangirls drooling over male characters on every single episode. Hell, if I were a girl, Yuusuke (the middle black-haired guy in my avatar) would be my man crush just because he's a totally awesome character. I'm sure there's probably even a couple guys here who are into anime and find some of the girls attractive.
You can go over the line, of course. When you completely refuse real girls in favor of being only with a pretend wife, then that's just dumb.
Ok, I think it's rather a cultural disease then. I think it's not healthy the way you think, see and experience things, that's what I say, I tried to explain a bit, and you can do with it whatever you want.
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 12:25:15 PM
Ok, I think it's rather a cultural disease then. I think it's not healthy the way you think, see and experience things, that's what I say, I tried to explain a bit, and you can do with it whatever you want.
Okay then, we have the funnest disease ever. :D
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 12:29:42 PM
Okay then, we have the funnest disease ever. :D
Your words.
I'm reading a book about brainwashing these days. "Brainwashing, The science of thought control". It looks like you match some requirements.. Bad for you, Greg.
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 12:36:58 PM
I'm reading a book about brainwashing these days. "Brainwashing, The science of thought control". It looks like you match some requirements.. Bad for you, Greg.
Greg's mind is too dirty for his brain to have been washed. I doubt it has even had a good rinse.
:laugh:
Quote from: Ken B on March 20, 2015, 02:34:44 PM
Greg's mind is too dirty for his brain to have been washed. I doubt it has even had a good rinse.
:laugh:
Giggity. ;)
Quote from: Henk on March 20, 2015, 12:36:58 PM
I'm reading a book about brainwashing these days. "Brainwashing, The science of thought control". It looks like you match some requirements.. Bad for you, Greg.
"Meet some criteria" is probably better expressed, didn't try to insult you..
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 11:32:41 AM
So you like more masculine women?
Some of the characters can be the equivalent of male characters in romance novels. I'm not against that, either, even if they're totally fictional. I don't think it's an issue for anyone. It's just a fantasy, that's all.
It's probably what is called the "uncanny valley" (human-like but not quite). To describe the grotesque anime chimeras as "cute and feminine" frankly sounds utterly perverse to me. The contrast would not be "masculine women" but "human women"
Just imagine meeting someone who
actually looked like that. It would totally creep me out. Whereas meeting e.g. Scarlett Johanson would probably have me blushing or stuttering like an idiot but it would turn me on. :P
Quote from: Jo498 on March 21, 2015, 01:04:44 AM
It's probably what is called the "uncanny valley" (human-like but not quite). To describe the grotesque anime chimeras as "cute and feminine" frankly sounds utterly perverse to me. The contrast would not be "masculine women" but "human women"
Just imagine meeting someone who actually looked like that. It would totally creep me out. Whereas meeting e.g. Scarlett Johanson would probably have me blushing or stuttering like an idiot but it would turn me on. :P
I also don't understand that description "masculine women", I understand what Greg means, but it shows he thinks quite strange. I would call it just "bold girls", I like that. Calling it "masculine", Greg misses the point.
I don't understand Greg at all when he talks about this subject. He transforms into a completely different person to me, than how I know him. His writing skills get suddenly very degrading. He gets unfriendly and shows very low IQ. Brainwashed.
Quote from: NJ Joe on March 19, 2015, 05:33:03 PM
An excellent saying, and apropos to the subject at hand, imo.
Thank you :)
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 12:16:22 PM
I only have a vague memory of it. Something to do with "Romanticism can conjure up images of ideal realities which aren't healthy to the mind" or something like that. Sorry, don't remember much more than that.
Nothing wrong with Romanticism (late-romanticism and all that stuff), it has some merits, but surely it doesn't work for me. I think it's good that people listen to it, Nietzsche has written interesting things about it. :)
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 08:21:40 AM
I like the picture. I think every guy would appreciate this, though. :P
(http://geeksdreamgirl.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/anime-ruins-women.jpg)
Only guys who think the praying mantis is hot ??? She has grotesquely large eyes; a grotesquely small lipless mouth; a single hole where the nose should be; and antennas growing out of her head. Yep, an insect girl :D
(http://photos.imageevent.com/sgtrock/feb2015/praying-mantis-500.jpg)
Sarge
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 21, 2015, 05:14:36 AM
(http://photos.imageevent.com/sgtrock/feb2015/praying-mantis-500.jpg)
Dear god that's hot!
Quote from: Ken B on March 21, 2015, 03:04:04 PM
Dear god that's hot!
Totally. Especially the black, soulless eyes and the green skin.
Quote from: Greg on March 21, 2015, 07:16:06 PMTotally. Especially the black, soulless eyes and the green skin.
And then she bites your head off, therefore she's a feminist. Beware!
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 21, 2015, 05:14:36 AM
She has grotesquely large eyes
I am still puzzled by the amount of hate the "big eyes" alone seem to have earned for anime over the years. I always thought it was some vaguely racist thing along the lines of "the Japanese cannot face the fact that they have small, ugly eyes, so they overcompensate", but perhaps somebody could enlighten me as to the true reasons.
I think it started with using the cuteness paradigm (Kindchenschema) frequently employed in cartoons and children's but ended up with the grotesque pictures (combining exaggerated eyes with exaggerated boobs) Greg seems to like to poison his imagination with...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuteness
I was referring to the big eyes thing alone. "Kawaii" and "ecchi" were not included in what I said, just the eyes.
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 22, 2015, 03:43:16 AM
And then she bites your head off, therefore she's a feminist. Beware!
;D
I've always heard the eyes are so large because it helps the Japanese add expression to the characters. Everything evolved from American cartoons, of course. And then with that idea, eventually stuff like "moe" characters could be produced...
Yeah, I know that. Nobody seems to hate Betty Boop so much, though. It's that, every time I cross paths with anime haters, it mostly boils down to "I can't stand those big eyes", like it offends them on a personal level or something.
Quote from: Greg on March 22, 2015, 05:10:25 AM
;D
I've always heard the eyes are so large because it helps the Japanese add expression to the characters. Everything evolved from American cartoons, of course.
For example?
(http://photos.imageevent.com/sgtrock/feb2015/DDuck.jpg)
Sarge
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 22, 2015, 05:50:08 AM
For example?
(http://photos.imageevent.com/sgtrock/feb2015/DDuck.jpg)
Sarge
Yep, probably a perfect example.
Even Astro Boy had large eyes, simple nose, simple mouth. Back in 1963.
(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/esbPHb9EOcY/maxresdefault.jpg)
Plenty of American cartoons/movies have characters with large eyes:
(http://i44.tinypic.com/2chmb6c.jpg)
Though for some reason in anime it's the default nowadays, and anything different is an exception. I guess that would be the difference.
One of the worst effects of Western influence on Japanese culture. In traditional Japanese art the eyes tend to be even under-emphasized.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e4/Suzuki_Harunobu_-_Woman_Visiting_the_Shrine_in_the_Night_-_Google_Art_Project_crop.jpg/220px-Suzuki_Harunobu_-_Woman_Visiting_the_Shrine_in_the_Night_-_Google_Art_Project_crop.jpg)
Quote from: North Star on March 22, 2015, 11:36:26 AM
One of the worst effects of Western influence on Japanese culture. In traditional Japanese art the eyes tend to be even under-emphasized.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e4/Suzuki_Harunobu_-_Woman_Visiting_the_Shrine_in_the_Night_-_Google_Art_Project_crop.jpg/220px-Suzuki_Harunobu_-_Woman_Visiting_the_Shrine_in_the_Night_-_Google_Art_Project_crop.jpg)
Thumbs up!
Quote from: Greg on March 22, 2015, 11:28:02 AM
Yep, probably a perfect example.
Even Astro Boy had large eyes, simple nose, simple mouth. Back in 1963.
(http://i.ytimg.com/vi/esbPHb9EOcY/maxresdefault.jpg)
Plenty of American cartoons/movies have characters with large eyes:
(http://i44.tinypic.com/2chmb6c.jpg)
Though for some reason in anime it's the default nowadays, and anything different is an exception. I guess that would be the difference.
That's for children. Not for guys who want to date a girl.
Quote from: North Star on March 22, 2015, 11:36:26 AM
One of the worst effects of Western influence on Japanese culture. In traditional Japanese art the eyes tend to be even under-emphasized.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/e4/Suzuki_Harunobu_-_Woman_Visiting_the_Shrine_in_the_Night_-_Google_Art_Project_crop.jpg/220px-Suzuki_Harunobu_-_Woman_Visiting_the_Shrine_in_the_Night_-_Google_Art_Project_crop.jpg)
I can just imagine trying to convey a wide range of emotions with that...
You people are crazy, anyways. I'll take my death metal and my submissive big-eyed, big-titted anime girls and be on my way now and have some fun.
Cheers! :P
...and that would have been the most epicly hilarious final post to leave GMG with after posting for 11 years. :P
Quote from: Greg on March 23, 2015, 07:44:37 AM
...and that would have been the most epicly hilarious final post to leave GMG with after posting for 11 years. :P
Good luck, Greg! :)
Quote from: Greg on March 20, 2015, 11:16:35 AM
That was rather rude, Henk. I like stuff like that because it appears very feminine and cute to me.
Why bother with cartoons when you can have the real thing?
https://youtu.be/tcma31JBwLs
Lots of good, experienced advice in this thread. I particularly like the advice about being direct from the outset.
And sure, rejection can hurt. Ah, even now I can remember a couple of times before she even replied that I could see the dawning understanding in a girl's eyes which delivered their sincere message of "...I am absolutely horrified, nay, revolted and disgusted, that you could seriously entertain the notion for even one minute, that I'd go out with you." Oh dear.
I'd like to offer my own unsolicited advice with the understanding that there's no obligation to buy... I'm not a handsome man. There's absolutely no way I can be described as 'good looking'. And throughout my life I've been rejected and turned down by more women than anyone I know. But by the same token, I've probably had more success with women than anyone I know. The reasons for that are simple. I'm completely honest with myself (no excuses) I make the most of who I am in every way possible, and finally, the fantastic advice offered by vandermolen via the Taoist statement 'give up and you will succeed' - that's it. I'd never heard it put that way before. My version is 'don't be outcome dependant' and I apply it to everything.
Final tip: you've done everything right, you know you would be perfect for her and make a great couple. And so you ask her out. But she says "No" and that she only sees you (and only ever will see you) as a friend. Response? Keep cool. Give yourself a little time if needed. But above all, hold on to your dignity. Because the fact is that girls know other girls and so you've a ready made pool of potential for you to dive in to. And if one of her friends is interested in you and asks "What's he like?" you'll get a glowing report such as "...he's not a child, he's mature, he can handle rejection". Eventually it becomes a little like the old 'shooting fish in a barrel'. Oh yeah.
PS. Betty Boop - eyes and all other parts - is my kinda gal. See?
(http://i1300.photobucket.com/albums/ag92/NikF65/IMG_20140813_111346_zpssbeshoxe.jpg)
Quote from: Greg on March 23, 2015, 07:44:37 AM
...and that would have been the most epicly hilarious final post to leave GMG with after posting for 11 years. :P
That
would have been the perfect farewell ;D But, seriously, don't leave. I was joking about the praying mantis girl (well, mostly ;) ) I confess, when I was your age I had a passion for Crepax's women in his comics, especially Valentina (modeled on the silent screen star Louise Brooks):
(http://photos.imageevent.com/sgtrock/feb2015/Crepax%20Valentina.jpg)
But you see, she had lips, and
two nostrils ;D ...I rest my case.
Today, I'm intrigued by
Archer's Cheryl Tunt in her country/western Cherlene persona (love those abbreviated Daisy Dukes ;) )
(http://photos.imageevent.com/sgtrock/feb2015/CherylTuntArcher.jpg)
(http://photos.imageevent.com/sgtrock/feb2015/CherylTunt.jpg)
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 23, 2015, 12:51:38 PM
That would have been the perfect farewell ;D But, seriously, don't leave. I was joking about the praying mantis girl (well, mostly ;) ) I confess, when I was your age I had a passion for Crepax's women in his comics, especially Valentina (modeled on the silent screen star Louise Brooks):
(http://photos.imageevent.com/sgtrock/feb2015/Crepax%20Valentina.jpg)
But you see, she had lips, and two nostrils ;D ...I rest my case.
Not to mention the attraction of that amputated leg - her shoe collection would be just half of the average woman's :laugh:
Quote from: North Star on March 23, 2015, 01:00:04 PM
Not to mention the attraction of that amputated leg - her shoe collection would be just half of the average woman's :laugh:
Hah! We both have vivid imaginations: I can see the leg curled behind her; you see an amputee. Freud would have a field day :D
Sarge
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 23, 2015, 01:02:51 PM
Hah! We both have vivid imaginations: I can see the leg curled behind her; you see an amputee. Freud would have a field day :D
Sarge
Well yes, I too see that the artist
meant it to look like the leg is curled behind her. Doesn't look quite natural to, though.
Quote from: North Star on March 23, 2015, 01:05:36 PMDoesn't look quite natural to, though.
Ah, the unnatural woman. But isn't that what Greg wants? ;D ;)
sARGE
Quote from: Beaumarchais on March 23, 2015, 11:25:40 AM
Why bother with cartoons when you can have the real thing?
https://youtu.be/tcma31JBwLs
Some people can't handle the real thing. :(
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 23, 2015, 01:08:45 PM
Ah, the unnatural woman. But isn't that what Greg wants? ;D ;)
sARGE
That's not unnatural enough for him. :laugh:
A natural woman is more than enough for me.
Quote from: Beaumarchais on March 23, 2015, 11:25:40 AM
Why bother with cartoons when you can have the real thing?
https://youtu.be/tcma31JBwLs
Now that's what I like. Cute girls acting like cute girls. That's the definition of sexiness.
The best is here:
https://www.youtube.com/v/GE65q4rV-bE
There's just something incredible about the most heavy, masculine music ever set to extremely feminine dancers. It just makes me imagine that they're all my slave dancers and I'm just sitting at a throne and forcing them to dance in complex time signatures to perfection each day. "Again! Again! Again!" Maybe finally clap at the end when I'm satisfied.
But to answer the question, the real thing seems about as attainable as the unreal thing, so why not have some fun with one's imagination? And the great thing about being single is that you can think of anything without feeling guilty of thought crimes.
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 23, 2015, 12:51:38 PM
That would have been the perfect farewell ;D But, seriously, don't leave. I was joking about the praying mantis girl (well, mostly ;) )
Totally joking, and that would be a hilarious thing to leave over.
Quote from: Sergeant Rock on March 23, 2015, 12:51:38 PM
I confess, when I was your age I had a passion for Crepax's women in his comics, especially Valentina (modeled on the silent screen star Louise Brooks):
hmmm I definitely like brunettes.
Quote from: NikF on March 23, 2015, 12:12:27 PM
and finally, the fantastic advice offered by vandermolen via the Taoist statement 'give up and you will succeed' - that's it. I'd never heard it put that way before. My version is 'don't be outcome dependant' and I apply it to everything.
In the context of: Brad Pitt alone on a desert island isn't going to get any action at all. Maybe with a coconut.
So what you write later in the post about being around others (girls, maybe, in my case) really comes first before "don't try." I've spent so many years not trying and it hasn't done anything. The one friend I hang out with most doesn't try and nothing happens for him (I wonder sometimes if he's interested in dating anyone at all even though he obviously likes girls), despite being the funniest guy I've known. He doesn't hang out with girls, just guy friends that don't have girlfriends.
Quote from: Greg on March 23, 2015, 04:04:22 PM
In the context of: Brad Pitt alone on a desert island isn't going to get any action at all. Maybe with a coconut.
So what you write later in the post about being around others (girls, maybe, in my case) really comes first before "don't try." I've spent so many years not trying and it hasn't done anything. The one friend I hang out with most doesn't try and nothing happens for him (I wonder sometimes if he's interested in dating anyone at all even though he obviously likes girls), despite being the funniest guy I've known. He doesn't hang out with girls, just guy friends that don't have girlfriends.
You tell the same tale so many people tell. But there's nothing unique about your situation. We're all in the same boat.
The good news is that most people eventually decide they're not a special snowflake after all and/or the world isn't really against them. That's when they begin to move forward and achieve what they want. And I wish you success in making that start, sooner rather than later.
Quote from: Greg on March 23, 2015, 03:57:22 PM
There's just something incredible about the most heavy, masculine music ever set to extremely feminine dancers. It just makes me imagine that they're all my slave dancers and I'm just sitting at a throne and forcing them to dance in complex time signatures to perfection each day. "Again! Again! Again!" Maybe finally clap at the end when I'm satisfied.
See, now that just seems creepy to me. Even if you're joking. The idea of forcing a woman to dance for you is... ???
Situations where people lack autonomy don't sit right with me. I could never find them attractive.
Quote from: NikF on March 23, 2015, 04:21:18 PM
You tell the same tale so many people tell. But there's nothing unique about your situation. We're all in the same boat.
The good news is that most people eventually decide they're not a special snowflake after all and/or the world isn't really against them. That's when they begin to move forward and achieve what they want. And I wish you success in making that start, sooner rather than later.
I appreciate any advice given to me on this thread, but pretty much everything is already a given. I'm starting to think that luck is by far the biggest factor more than anything. Especially advice like "be yourself/your best self" and "put yourself out there." And really, who isn't doing both?
Quote from: Adam of the North(west) on March 23, 2015, 05:57:13 PM
???
See, now that just seems creepy to me. Even if you're joking. The idea of forcing a woman to dance for you is... ???
Situations where people lack autonomy don't sit right with me. I could never find them attractive.
I'm joking. There's a certain appeal the idea has to me, though in reality it probably wouldn't be as appealing as something "normal" could be.
And especially the "don't try" advice. That's the same advice I got from my friend when I messaged her a few days ago (I didn't ask for advice, though, just wanted to complain to her).
Pretty much 99.9999% of my life is spent not trying to get a girlfriend, and like I said, many years of my life that would 100%. So it's basically irrelevant. I think now that luck is everything.
In terms of my own personal life, I'm not too worried about finding 'the woman' I'm supposed to be with any longer. If it happens, then it will happen naturally and not be forced or manufactured in any way. Sometimes it's best to accept the reality of your situation rather than trying to go down a road of disappointment and, ultimately, hopes being dashed time and time again.
Quote from: Mirror Image on March 23, 2015, 09:09:12 PM
In terms of my own personal life, I'm not too worried about finding 'the woman' I'm supposed to be with any longer. If it happens, then it will happen naturally and not be forced or manufactured in any way. Sometimes it's best to accept the reality of your situation rather than trying to go down a road of disappointment and, ultimately, hopes being dashed time and time again.
Exactly what I'm getting at. It's all just luck. And some of us have far worse luck than usual (and some have even worse luck by dating someone who is a destructive influence on them). It's all really out of our control.
Quote from: Adam of the North(west) on March 23, 2015, 05:57:13 PM
See, now that just seems creepy to me. Even if you're joking. The idea of forcing a woman to dance for you is... ???
To be more specific, that would be my version of an S&M fetish that some people have. ;D
Quote from: Greg on March 23, 2015, 06:30:42 PM
And especially the "don't try" advice. That's the same advice I got from my friend when I messaged her a few days ago (I didn't ask for advice, though, just wanted to complain to her).
Pretty much 99.9999% of my life is spent not trying to get a girlfriend, and like I said, many years of my life that would 100%. So it's basically irrelevant. I think now that luck is everything.
Yea, the "don't try" ruse... who the f came up with that anyway???
"there is only do, no try?"
I don't think they mean that.
So, I had a "date" with The Batshit Crazy,... woooow, just imagine, 40, looks like a sexpot, medicated, just craaazy self absorbed and jekyll/hyde and aaaaahhhhhh.... "why did you say that?" "why are you doing that?" "I hate gossips" (then gossips)... and so on "you drive like an old woman":
SSSKKKKKKRRREEEEEEEECCCCCCCCHHHHHHH...... awright, get out.
No, it didn't happen. Greg, you've got to realize when something needs to be dealt with. I should have just given her the riot act right there,... missy, and you can get out and walk sweetie,... or say nothing, turn around, drop em off.
Seriously, how many times, when you got nothing in the end, would it have been so much more empowering to cut them off at the very first sign? Like, if you were at the restaurant and out comes the phone: you wave the waiter over and tell him you're leaving... ?... or just excuse yourself whilst she's ensconced, and leave. Done. Don't put up with shit if you're fairly sure you're going to get some more of what you've gotten in the past.
Tell em to Check Their Privilege!!!!i
can you just make friends with a stripper? just to keep any potential in check? eh?
Quote from: snyprrr on March 24, 2015, 06:15:20 PM
Yea, the "don't try" ruse... who the f came up with that anyway???
"there is only do, no try?"
I don't think they mean that.
That and "stop looking."
Okay, I did experiment with trying out online dating, as mentioned early in this thread. But this is the line I got from my friend (the last girl I asked out) when I messaged her. She wanted to give out helpful advice, but she doesn't know that I've only ever asked out girls from work. Besides that small experiment, you could very well say I've never been looking my entire life.
Quote from: snyprrr on March 24, 2015, 06:15:20 PM
can you just make friends with a stripper? just to keep any potential in check? eh?
Strippers and hookers both kinda creep me out.
Quote from: snyprrr on March 24, 2015, 06:15:20 PM
So, I had a "date" with The Batshit Crazy,... woooow, just imagine, 40, looks like a sexpot, medicated, just craaazy self absorbed and jekyll/hyde and aaaaahhhhhh.... "why did you say that?" "why are you doing that?" "I hate gossips" (then gossips)... and so on "you drive like an old woman":
SSSKKKKKKRRREEEEEEEECCCCCCCCHHHHHHH...... awright, get out.
No, it didn't happen. Greg, you've got to realize when something needs to be dealt with. I should have just given her the riot act right there,... missy, and you can get out and walk sweetie,... or say nothing, turn around, drop em off.
Seriously, how many times, when you got nothing in the end, would it have been so much more empowering to cut them off at the very first sign? Like, if you were at the restaurant and out comes the phone: you wave the waiter over and tell him you're leaving... ?... or just excuse yourself whilst she's ensconced, and leave. Done. Don't put up with shit if you're fairly sure you're going to get some more of what you've gotten in the past.
Tell em to Check Their Privilege!!!!i
Lol. Seems you're not encountering too many quality women, either.
Quote from: Greg on March 22, 2015, 08:08:44 PM
You people are crazy, anyways. I'll take my death metal and my submissive big-eyed, big-titted anime girls and be on my way now and have some fun.
(http://oi59.tinypic.com/2604g2d.jpg)
"Don't try" contains a profound truth, but is meant to be understood in a nuanced way. It doesn't mean to stop looking! We all look; it's in our Y chromosone. :) And if we are honest, we ask. But there is an art to asking, and it is to ask simply, in the same way we might ask someone sitting at a table with us to "pass the salt." And if she says no--let it go. Try again later, perhaps. If she says no again, it's time for you to look around again.
Now, if she says, "I can't do it then" but sounds like she might do it when her schedule permits, that's when you keep asking. But not right away. It's like trying to set up a business appointment; you check each other's calendars and find a time and event for which you are both free.
Yes, if the interest is there, it really is that simple. :)
Quote from: The Six on March 25, 2015, 08:40:24 AM
(http://oi59.tinypic.com/2604g2d.jpg)
That is... elaborate.
Quote from: jochanaan on March 25, 2015, 08:55:09 AM
"Don't try" contains a profound truth, but is meant to be understood in a nuanced way. It doesn't mean to stop looking! We all look; it's in our Y chromosone. :) And if we are honest, we ask. But there is an art to asking, and it is to ask simply, in the same way we might ask someone sitting at a table with us to "pass the salt." And if she says no--let it go. Try again later, perhaps. If she says no again, it's time for you to look around again.
Now, if she says, "I can't do it then" but sounds like she might do it when her schedule permits, that's when you keep asking. But not right away. It's like trying to set up a business appointment; you check each other's calendars and find a time and event for which you are both free.
Yes, if the interest is there, it really is that simple. :)
I wouldn't completely rule out asking in the future, but in my experience if they are interested, they'll ask me and usually I know they're interested before they ask.
Gonna try to go back to waking up early and playing FF11 all day like before, especially considering updates stop in November. Gotta have that one thing to be excited about every day, and it doesn't seem like anything else can fill that role.
Quote from: Greg on March 25, 2015, 09:12:56 AMGonna try to go back to waking up early and playing FF11 all day like before, especially considering updates stop in November. Gotta have that one thing to be excited about every day, and it doesn't seem like anything else can fill that role.
And here you wonder why you've got no luck dating.
Sure, there's a chance you'll meet someone in an online game (I actually know a bunch of happy couples that met via an MMO and it's becoming less and less uncommon nowadays) but as long as you spend most of your life in virtual worlds, your love life will be virtual as well.
I suggested that before and witnessing the scope of your anime fetish, I'd suggest it again: anime / gaming conventions. Plenty of girlish geek girls to meet there (and meeting people is not 'trying' – it's
living).
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 25, 2015, 09:48:54 AM
And here you wonder why you've got no luck dating.
Sure, there's a chance you'll meet someone in an online game (I actually know a bunch of happy couples that met via an MMO and it's becoming less and less uncommon nowadays) but as long as you spend most of your life in virtual worlds, your love life will be virtual as well.
That's what I thought until I realized I was completely wrong.
I was playing FF14, then quit and decided to find some anime to watch for my free time. By the end of watching Dragonball, I just got sick of literally everything. And that's when I had a rare Saturday off and was able to get together with the two girls I work with to hang out. And after that, I decided to just spend my free time hanging out with people. The problem is, that doesn't work because look how I tried to hang out with that girl for over two weeks and wasn't able to.
I still get to hang out with a friend once a week. We just talk about crazy stuff at his house and go to the mall or whatever. I don't see how that is supposed to boost my luck or something, but I don't mean that I'm going to stop hanging out with him.
I "go out" whenever I can with friends, but any more than that and I would just be going out alone. Not that that's bad, but I shouldn't have to rely on "picking up" girls just to get a date. I don't think most people do. I'm not a PUA.
Quote from: Rinaldo on March 25, 2015, 09:48:54 AM
I suggested that before and witnessing the scope of your anime fetish, I'd suggest it again: anime / gaming conventions. Plenty of girlish geek girls to meet there (and meeting people is not 'trying' – it's living).
Yeah, I'll have to do that. Though it would be better not to expect anything.
https://www.youtube.com/v/tzoj5XKEWLQ
;D
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
Quote from: snyprrr on March 31, 2015, 05:29:47 PM
fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap
Wrong thread. James discusses Boulez on the Pierre Boulez thread.
Greg, here something to fuck for you: ;) >:D
http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Mirai-cuteness-526182364 (http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Mirai-cuteness-526182364)
(http://pre06.deviantart.net/dee4/th/pre/i/2015/101/0/d/mirai___cuteness_by_wieselhead-d8p9wws.jpg)
eh... you can't do anything to a doll, but...
I like this one in the related section:
http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Captain-Liliana-Queens-Blade-4-265952124
and this:
http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Yuka-Yoshii-Tsundero-6-264391306
8)
Quote from: Greg on April 12, 2015, 08:55:34 AM
eh... you can't do anything to a doll, but...
I like this one in the related section:
http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Captain-Liliana-Queens-Blade-4-265952124
and this:
http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Yuka-Yoshii-Tsundero-6-264391306
8)
Well, when there is a hole in the doll? ;)
I like them too.
This one is probably real art:
http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/204/5/d/princess_bitch_2_by_pumpkin_fairy-d6erwhy.jpg (http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/204/5/d/princess_bitch_2_by_pumpkin_fairy-d6erwhy.jpg)
???
Well, that would have to be one large doll to have a hole big enough to fit it in. Too small to even enjoy it, anyways. Now, a life-sized android like that is certainly something I would consider buying in the future if they had one. Maybe by the time I'm in my 50's or 60's and I'm too old for a younger girl, I'd buy one.
Quote from: Henk on April 12, 2015, 09:00:37 AM
This one is probably real art:
http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/204/5/d/princess_bitch_2_by_pumpkin_fairy-d6erwhy.jpg (http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/204/5/d/princess_bitch_2_by_pumpkin_fairy-d6erwhy.jpg)
Now that's some great stuff. 8)
Quote from: Greg on April 12, 2015, 09:04:55 AM
???
Well, that would have to be one large doll to have a hole big enough to fit it in. Too small to even enjoy it, anyways. Now, a life-sized android like that is certainly something I would consider buying in the future if they had one. Maybe by the time I'm in my 50's or 60's and I'm too old for a younger girl, I'd buy one.
ROFL :laugh:
Quote from: snyprrr on November 09, 2014, 05:52:11 PM
Guys, I have soooo fucked up my shit. :(
That was , what, 4-5 weeks ago? Fuuuuu....
And no, I haven't even kissed her.
Fuck, Greg. I pursued your dreams and I'm fucked. :(
I said things this week I haven't said to anyone who wasn't just about ready to orgfasm...
oh fuck I want to ________.
I just couldn't 'play' my part- couldn't 'act' aloof and detached... told her TRUE FEELINGS.... O.H. F.U.C.K. :( :( :(
Last Monday I told her at first, and that was such a very nice night together,... and then she called the next day... and now I feel ill and want to vomit when I think of her. I have a choir of voices screaming all sorts of horrendous stuff at me- (i cant sleep... eat.... shit.... oh, and I've become impotent!!!! ??? and only when she is flirting with me do I feel it come back (yes, I can't fap... it's really really bad fellas).
anyhow- I feel like a piece of shit.... I tol,d her, You're my girl but I'm not your guy.... and she ASSURES me I'm just being silly willy.
I can't stop hyperventilating.
I totally want to get absolutely wasted,... but, of course,... no... but if an eeght ball dropped from heaven,.... viewer discretion is advised here, y'know...
This is what I get ... and I'm surprised?
The things I've done for this Thread in 9 1/2 weeks is shocking and terrifyinjg.
Did I mention one girl I know began talking "money" to me the other day.... wtf???
OH, AND EVERYWHERR I'M RUNNING INTO OLD FLAMES WITH ENMITY!!!!!! ??? ??? ??? ??? I'm running out before they see me....
This is all so horrible, guys,... I feel like I'm dying. :(
HERE IT IS, A YEAR LATER
Oy, it's been a rough week in the 'Girl problems' dept.
It's been a ruff year........
depressed.... just reading over last years post.........i feel like a smeared grease stain on the fabric of life.......
CALL THE WAHBULANCE!!! :'( :'( :'(
ME ME ME ME ME