Dating or not dating.

[Mirror Image]

Good news John! Hope it goes well.

Thanks a lot, Ken!

[Rinaldo]

Cuteness overload! Congrats, John, you look quite happy together.

[Mirror Image]

Cuteness overload! Congrats, John, you look quite happy together.

Thanks, Rinaldo! Yeah, we had a great time --- I made her laugh A LOT, which is always a good thing.

[NikF]

Just got back home from my date about 30 minutes ago and we had such a great time together. We plan to meet up again (perhaps next weekend). She's really a beautiful person inside and out. She also is incredibly intelligent as back in her home country of Thailand she's a computer programmer. She's on a school visa (or some kind of one) and she's allowed to stay here for three years. Her English isn't too bad, but she's getting better and learning. I found out her brother went to Rice University (the same as Brian) and majored in chemistry and went back to Thailand to become a professor. Also, both of her parents are teachers and her mom teaches English! Anyway, I had a blast learning more about her and I hope for many more dates to follow.

Here's the obligatory selfie that she insisted on taking:

Glad you had a good time.  And that's a nice photo - you look great together.  Now, make sure you get down to confirming another date as soon as possible. In the meantime,  enjoy the afterglow and take it easy. 
Also: your jacket is cool.

[greg]

Glad you had fun, John! Hopefully many more dates to come! 

My question is what did you really expect? You met this woman on Tinder, which, from what I've read, is a site geared only towards 'hooking up'. If you stop looking, you may very well be surprised by the outcome. To be honest, I wasn't really 'looking' for anyone as I was about ready to 'throw in the towel' so to speak whenever I received a message on that dating site POF and it was this woman I'm meeting today. I spoke to someone at work and she said she met her boyfriend on POF as well and they've been seeing each other for 6 or 7 years already. The intent is always the most important factor in looking for someone, because if you don't know where they stand and what they want (i. e. a relationship, marriage in the future), then it's not really worth pursuing. And I hate to say this, as I've said it many times before, you really should look for someone around your age. I know you don't want to date someone who has children. There are actually plenty of people your age who don't have children just like there are plenty that do. You just have to dig a bit more to find someone, but dating someone who is 7-10 years younger than you are is like dating someone who is an alien from another planet. You'd have nothing in common on an intellectual/emotional level. Anyway, it's your life, but you really ought to be a bit more open in your preferences and what kind of person you'd date, because you're not going to find anyone within those narrow perimeters.

I did suspect that she was only looking for a one night stand. And the things she said later only support that. That I'm "exotic" (since she's only been in this country 4 years) and that she's addicted to sex, etc.

What sucks most is just that I liked her as a potential friend. She was one of the funniest people I've had the pleasure to meet. I'd hang out with her even if we never slept again.

I don't think 7-10 years younger is like dating an alien. I'm not that mature, after all.  You might be confusing immaturity with being a nerd. The truth is, I'm an immature nerd. It can be harder to relate to mature non-nerds, generally. (Oh, and there are "dumb nerds," as well, which she called me a few times lol). And she said I could easily pretend to not be a nerd if I tried because of my looks- but yeah, right! lol  Waaay to hard to hide nerdiness...

In the long run, though, I think what happened is still helpful to me psychologically, BIG TIME. If I ever do meet someone who I end up marrying one day, I won't feel the need to pressure them into sleeping with me nearly as much. Or getting nervous about expectations for sex and screwing up everything in the process, because I'm a nerd. Having said that, if I have to wait too long, I may be back on Tinder again, sleeping with the next cute girl that offers. 

[Mirror Image]

Glad you had a good time.  And that's a nice photo - you look great together.  Now, make sure you get down to confirming another date as soon as possible. In the meantime,  enjoy the afterglow and take it easy. 
Also: your jacket is cool.

I wish you the best John, you're a good guy.
You deserve a special someone, hopefully you've found her!
You both look lovely together too

Thank you both for your nice comments. It really felt great connecting with someone. We even held hands most of the time. Next time, we'll probably go to the movies and then dinner afterwards. She definitely said she wants to see me again, so that's definitely good to know.

[Mirror Image]

Glad you had fun, John! Hopefully many more dates to come! 




I did suspect that she was only looking for a one night stand. And the things she said later only support that. That I'm "exotic" (since she's only been in this country 4 years) and that she's addicted to sex, etc.

What sucks most is just that I liked her as a potential friend. She was one of the funniest people I've had the pleasure to meet. I'd hang out with her even if we never slept again.

I don't think 7-10 years younger is like dating an alien. I'm not that mature, after all.  You might be confusing immaturity with being a nerd. The truth is, I'm an immature nerd. It can be harder to relate to mature non-nerds, generally. (Oh, and there are "dumb nerds," as well, which she called me a few times lol). And she said I could easily pretend to not be a nerd if I tried because of my looks- but yeah, right! lol  Waaay to hard to hide nerdiness...

In the long run, though, I think what happened is still helpful to me psychologically, BIG TIME. If I ever do meet someone who I end up marrying one day, I won't feel the need to pressure them into sleeping with me nearly as much. Or getting nervous about expectations for sex and screwing up everything in the process, because I'm a nerd. Having said that, if I have to wait too long, I may be back on Tinder again, sleeping with the next cute girl that offers. 

Thanks, Greg. Perhaps I misjudged you and if it came across that way, I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention at all. If you want to just have some fun for awhile, that's perfectly fine for you if that's what you truly want to do or feel you need to do. No judgement from me whatsoever. If anything, you'll meet up with some interesting people in the process. By the way, I'm a huge nerd and I'm proud of it. I freely accept that I have nerd tendencies. It's just who I am.

[Mirror Image]

Sounds like really good news!  She appears to be really into you.
Best of luck John 

Gosh...now I'm just blushing. Thanks again.

[greg]

Thanks, Greg. Perhaps I misjudged you and if it came across that way, I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention at all. If you want to just have some fun for awhile, that's perfectly fine for you if that's what you truly want to do or feel you need to do. No judgement from me whatsoever. If anything, you'll meet up with some interesting people in the process. By the way, I'm a huge nerd and I'm proud of it. I freely accept that I have nerd tendencies. It's just who I am.

Nah, dude, you're good.  No need to apologize.

Btw as far as Tinder goes, although it is meant as a hookup app, people use it for anything. Did I mention the "date" I went on a week ago? I met up with a 30-year old lady (she brought her friend along) and we ate a bar and hung out at the science center. None of us flirted with each other at all the entire time. Tbh, in person, she gave a more mature vibe, which felt like I was hanging out with an aunt. It was then that I realized maybe I should look for the opposite. Young, immature, and funny- being around such a person really helps me embrace the better side of myself. The other side of myself is just moodiness, depression, and no fun. 

[Mirror Image]

Nah, dude, you're good.  No need to apologize.

Btw as far as Tinder goes, although it is meant as a hookup app, people use it for anything. Did I mention the "date" I went on a week ago? I met up with a 30-year old lady (she brought her friend along) and we ate a bar and hung out at the science center. None of us flirted with each other at all the entire time. Tbh, in person, she gave a more mature vibe, which felt like I was hanging out with an aunt. It was then that I realized maybe I should look for the opposite. Young, immature, and funny- being around such a person really helps me embrace the better side of myself. The other side of myself is just moodiness, depression, and no fun. 

Very cool, Greg. Yes, I do believe you mentioned you had a date with a 30-going on 60 year old woman. Too bad there was no kind of connection there. The woman I'm seeing is really playful and, as I mentioned, we laughed quite a lot, because I suppose I came off as being a bit of a goofball. I didn't know Tinder is used for other things. I learn something new everyday. I believe you had encouraged me to use Tinder before and I did, but I didn't get much out of it. I've always been leery of online dating until I met Kate. I did go on a date with someone I met online but she ended up being a completely different person than what I thought. She totally 'catfished' me. Thankfully, today, Kate looked just like her pictures, but even better after I really started studying her and her facial expressions. Good luck in whatever you decide to do next!

[greg]

So tinder is a real thing that works? 

Yeah. Just keep swiping until you find a match and then ask them out for dinner within 2-5 messages. Then they might let you now soon after you start messaging them if they want to sleep with you. Just don't make conversation before you ask, because they will stop replying at some point. That was the mistake I made at first.

So much easier than going to a bar and talking to people.

Very cool, Greg. Yes, I do believe you mentioned you had a date with a 30-going on 60 year old woman. Too bad there was no kind of connection there. The woman I'm seeing is really playful and, as I mentioned, we laughed quite a lot, because I suppose I came off as being a bit of a goofball. I didn't know Tinder is used for other things. I learn something new everyday. I believe you had encouraged me to use Tinder before and I did, but I didn't get much out of it. I've always been leery of online dating until I met Kate. I did go on a date with someone I met online but she ended up being a completely different person than what I thought. She totally 'catfished' me. Thankfully, today, Kate looked just like her pictures, but even better after I really started studying her and her facial expressions. Good luck in whatever you decide to do next!

Ha, really playful is the best thing. It'll loosen you up! 
Thanks, and good luck to you, too!

[Ghost Sonata]

...She definitely said she wants to see me again, so that's definitely good to know.

Needless to say, she's interested in the good looking guy with refined musical tastes...

[Mirror Image]

Needless to say, she's interested in the good looking guy with refined musical tastes...

Thanks a lot, Ghost. I appreciate it.

[Mirror Image]

Well...now diverting the attention away from me: what's been going on with you guys? Anything new going on?

[Ken B]

Needless to say, she's interested in the good looking guy with refined musical tastes...

I'm taken.

[vandermolen]

Just got back home from my date about 30 minutes ago and we had such a great time together. We plan to meet up again (perhaps next weekend). She's really a beautiful person inside and out. She also is incredibly intelligent as back in her home country of Thailand she's a computer programmer. She's on a school visa (or some kind of one) and she's allowed to stay here for three years. Her English isn't too bad, but she's getting better and learning. I found out her brother went to Rice University (the same as Brian) and majored in chemistry and went back to Thailand to become a professor. Also, both of her parents are teachers and her mom teaches English! Anyway, I had a blast learning more about her and I hope for many more dates to follow.

Here's the obligatory selfie that she insisted on taking:

How nice! I'm so glad that you had a good time and delighted that she insisted on the selfie. It's a great photo of the two of you. She looks like a lovely person inside and out and has a kind expression. I was very pleased to see a photo of yourself - looking less like Shostakovich than I imagined but still a great photo. Hope this relationship continues to be a very happy one for you John.
Jeffrey

[Mirror Image]

How nice! I'm so glad that you had a good time and delighted that she insisted on the selfie. It's a great photo of the two of you. She looks like a lovely person inside and out and has a kind expression. I was very pleased to see a photo of yourself - looking less like Shostakovich than I imagined but still a great photo. Hope this relationship continues to be a very happy one for you John.
Jeffrey

Ha! Yeah, I definitely don't look like Shostakovich. Thanks a lot, Jeffrey!

[Mirror Image]

I'm taken.

[Ghost Sonata]

I'm taken.

You're taken alright.   

[Mirror Image]

I'll be taking Kate to see the new Star Wars film this coming Monday. Before the show, we're going to have dinner. So...dinner and a movie. A cliched date idea for sure, but seeing this new Star Wars film on an IMAX screen with my special someone sounds great to me.