Topic: The Joke Thread

[North Star]

Mark Steele's explanation of a 'Freudian Slip'

'I was having breakfast with my mother in law last week when I made an embarrassing Freudian Slip. I meant to say 'please would you mind passing the butter' but instead of that I said 'you stupid cow - you've ruined my life'.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/R87VRUvmNh0" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/R87VRUvmNh0</a>

[snyprrr]

Why did the astronomer put a hamburger in the bathtub?






Cause he wanted a meatier shower!

[drogulus]

     What if there were no hypothetical questions?

[vandermolen]

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/v/R87VRUvmNh0" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer" class="bbc_link bbc_flash_disabled new_win">https://www.youtube.com/v/R87VRUvmNh0</a>

Excellent! I wonder which came first - this or Mark Steele. He did a series on scientists in history. The other one which made me laugh was, while dresseh up as Newton with a 'Newton's Cradle' in front of him he demonstrated his theory of gravity not by using it but by smashing the whole thing into a vase at the end of the table.

Here is Mark Steel's lecture on Freud.
I put an extraneous 'e' on his name in earlier posts:

https://youtu.be/Etiwwbpr1Y4

Here is his lecture on Newton. The demonstration using Newton's Crasle is at about 9.15 minutes.

https://youtu.be/cEbreJsRo08

[vandermolen]

Why did the astronomer put a hamburger in the bathtub?






Cause he wanted a meatier shower!

Excellent! 😀

[George]

"I used to date this girl who worked for a record company. After our first date, she sent me a bunch of CDs in the mail. Now I just need to take her out three more times over the next five years."

- Jeff Ross

[geralmar]

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac? … a person who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Then there was the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa.

[vandermolen]

My daughter posted this to me:

[George]

[SimonNZ]

For Passover:

[JBS]

For Passover:

 

[Ken B]

For Passover:

It scares me that I get that joke.

Note a joke, but sad, and related: Recently the AP reported that when in mourning Jews sit and shiver.


Who paid for the last supper?
Jesus got nailed for it.

[Florestan]

It scares me that I get that joke.

Please, guys, enlighten me. I didn't get it at all. 

[George]

Please, guys, enlighten me. I didn't get it at all. 

It's a play on the the words night and knight. The translation of the phrase the knight uttered is "Why is tonight different from all other nights?"

[George]

Deathly funny.

[Florestan]

It's a play on the the words night and knight. The translation of the phrase the knight uttered is "Why is tonight different from all other nights?"

Thanks a lot. Funny indeed.

[George]

Thanks a lot. Funny indeed.

No problem.

In all fairness, I had to Google a translation of what the Knight said. 

[Ken B]

     What if there were no hypothetical questions?

What is a rhetorical answer?

[k a rl h e nn i ng]

Courtesy of the immortal Phil Proctor (though I have an idea I heard it before now)

A guy walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol, and yelled, "I have a .45 caliber Colt 1911 with a seven-round magazine plus one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."

Avoice from the back of the room called out, "You need more ammo!"

[Ken B]

Courtesy of the immortal Phil Proctor (though I have an idea I heard it before now)

A guy walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol, and yelled, "I have a .45 caliber Colt 1911 with a seven-round magazine plus one in the chamber, and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."

Avoice from the back of the room called out, "You need more ammo!"

Ha!