I hate attractive people

[lisa needs braces]

Their attractiveness imbues them with a "halo effect" which ends up favoring them in other aspects of life beyond relationships. For example, attractive people are perceived as more intelligent, more hardworking, etc.

If you are an attractive person, you should be forced to pay higher taxes because of your unfair advantage over others.

[lisa needs braces]

And I hate that I can't tell what forum I'm in when I make threads. 

[Marc]

I'm attractive and I hate myself.

[Mandryka]

There's a very disturbing book relevant to this, I don't know if it's been translated into English

[NikF]

I'll bite.

There was a beautiful young woman sitting on a grassy slope in the park. She had long hair framing a face with evenly spaced features including Cupid's bow lips, freckles over the bridge of her nose that appear sized and placed with taste (by a doll maker?) and cat's eyes that will eventually get you. She looked up and smiled at me with more sweetness than anyone could hope to see in one place at one time, and I thought to myself "all I need with that is a spoon and a straw".

- my opinion of attractive people, halos, and taxes.

[Biffo]

Their attractiveness imbues them with a "halo effect" which ends up favoring them in other aspects of life beyond relationships. For example, attractive people are perceived as more intelligent, more hardworking, etc.

If you are an attractive person, you should be forced to pay higher taxes because of your unfair advantage over others.

Really? I think they are more likely to thought of superficial, narcissistic, airheads etc.

[71 dB]

Their attractiveness imbues them with a "halo effect" which ends up favoring them in other aspects of life beyond relationships. For example, attractive people are perceived as more intelligent, more hardworking, etc.

If you are an attractive person, you should be forced to pay higher taxes because of your unfair advantage over others.

Yeah, it kind of sucks. I am intelligent and I have high education, but it's almost impossible for me to succeed in life just because I am not attractive. Oh boy it was fun to be 20 when I was naive enough to think I have a chance. Now I'm 47 and bitter as hell because life has teached me how important it is to be attractive. It means almost everything. You can be a moron if you are attractive. Life will work out for you, but if you are not attractive life is bitter struggle!

[drogulus]

     It's strange to talk to an extremely attractive young woman and see how precarious life appears to them. It's hard for normals to sympathize with them, and that's part of why they often feel the way they do.

Really? I think they are more likely to thought of superficial, narcissistic, airheads etc.

     It's even worse when they are more intelligent than the men around them.

[zamyrabyrd]

What is "attractive" but power to attract? Not only looks but a certain amount of mystery and charisma.
If Ocasio-Cortez were drab, she would still be pumping beer.

[NikF]

Some guys will hate a woman because she's considered attractive and/or won't give them the time of day. But a woman who is attractive and intelligent and not only enjoys sex, but has the temerity to be seen seeking it out? That scares and threatens a lot of guys. But this thread is about attractive people and hating them - not just hating women.

Over the years I've worked with men who looked incredible. Tall, great symmetry in their face and proportions of their limbs and body. Some of them had more luxurious hair than the women. But a good way to describe how attractive these men were, is to say that although I'd never go too short on a lens or far on light (of course... ) it was difficult to make them look bad. Pull that key light too distant from their face, and the resulting dark and sharp edged shadow that could be so threatening to a woman's features will instead only serve to enhance dark and deep set eyes, or accentuate further already high and defined cheekbones. Your jawline is great and my mistake somehow makes it better.
Another perhaps notable thing about them was it seemed that a large proportion were gay. And as with with the straight male models, they were all sex mad. Each of the two biggest modelling agencies would have a Xmas party every year in a rented nightclub. Legendary stuff. Promiscuity under the mistletoe with 1980s style little to no repercussions.

All of that never made me hate them. Maybe if they were in the habit of pushing wheelchair bound kittens from the top of a steep hill or something, then I would hate in grand style. But I don't remember hating any of them for who they are.

[lisa needs braces]

No I am being facetious with the title. I'm just disturbed that much social judgement we all might face here and there is tied with our looks. Attractive guy plays Magic The Gathering card game? What a lovable geek. Unattractive overweight guy plays Magic The Gathering? What a loser, etc etc. Maybe the new guy at the office gets more eager assistance to help him learn the ropes whereas the unattractive guy doesn't get it as much. Of course lookism also impacts women.

But this isn't personal for me, because I know I'm good looking: My aunt said so.

[NikF]

Of course we're rated and labeled and categorised by our looks, interests and habits. But it is what it is and in my own life I choose not to think about it so much. To use one of my favourite phrases, bollocks to that.

As for aunts and mothers and cousins and female friends, it's like this -

You walk down the road and you see a couple approaching who are pushing a pram/pushchair or something, and you smile as you pass and look down at the baby and you say -

"Oh, what a beautiful baby!"

But inside you're thinking -

"Oh, it's like a practical effect from Eraserhead!"

That's how it is with aunts and mothers and female friends - just as there are no ugly babies, an aunt won't tell a nephew he's not good looking.


(I do know you're joking. And I speak as someone who has a face like a burst punchbag.  )

[lisa needs braces]

I'm calling my aunt right now and will ask her to explain her lies.

[NikF]

I'm calling my aunt right now and will ask her to explain her lies.

...and to tell her to make it up to you by introducing you to one of her good looking friends. 

[Gurn Blanston]

So here's MY take: I was born neither ugly nor lovely. I have carried weight ranging from slim to more than slightly obese. Even my naughty bits are about average, but I've had no shortage of use from them, and, my whole life from adolescence to early senescence has been filled with as many or more people of however many genders there now are, than I can handle at times. Of all the people I have dealt with at work and play, far more have responded positively to me than negatively.

If I were to stop and ponder why this might be, and weigh it against my own standards which I set for people, here is what I would list as more important than attractiveness.

• I'm not an ars'le
• I always try to show more interest in what they are talking about than I do in myself
• I'm not an ars'le
• I try to maintain and enhance their self-esteem
• I don't set any quid pro quo expectations
• I don't indiscriminately hit on someone I'm attracted to first thing
• Finally, and most importantly, I'm not an ars'le

All of these things have worked well for me. It's true, my auntie said I was a lovely child too, bless her heart. But physical attractiveness (which seems to be what you are talking about) is a secondary thing. Not being an ars'le is far more important.  Just sayin'...

[NikF]

Ah, the old 'don't be an arsehole' -. a nice sentiment indeed. And it's all laid out, just like a self help book that promises if rules are followed then happiness is guaranteed. Here's an addition for the list -

8. Don't harbour an anti-Semite.

9. Too late, you're an ars'le. And a faintly smug one.

There's a very disturbing book relevant to this, I don't know if it's been translated into English

I can't find a translation. Or even a description, but that's probably my fault. And it's a pity, because my curiosity is piqued.

Yeah, it kind of sucks. I am intelligent and I have high education, but it's almost impossible for me to succeed in life just because I am not attractive. Oh boy it was fun to be 20 when I was naive enough to think I have a chance. Now I'm 47 and bitter as hell because life has teached me how important it is to be attractive. It means almost everything. You can be a moron if you are attractive. Life will work out for you, but if you are not attractive life is bitter struggle!

Don't let your intelligence and high education hold you back. But seriously, I'm not the brightest and my formal education ended on leaving school at 15.
Also, I'm a shortarse who had to start shaving his head at about 24 due to going bald. And I've been stabbed in the face on three occasions (one time can be more accurately described as 'sliced') with the resulting nerve damage meaning the left side of my face droops down a little sometimes. And I've no family, never had anyone to look over my shoulder and encourage and say 'well done' or even tell me that I was a good person. But none of that has stopped me living a life that's full and challenging and ultimately rewarding. So, while I'm not physically attractive I make up for it by doing the best I can. I'm not and never will be perfect, but I will never make excuses. And that includes not making an excuse for why I'm single.

You're 47 and still have plenty of time. I must have been about 45 or 46 when I met a wonderful young woman. As an aside, she was attractive. She told me that one of the first things she noticed about me was that "You never change when I'm near".

This post is long enough but I'd like to add this. When I was a child we only had a television during the winter months. It was rented and with the first signs of spring it was sent back. My grandmother's reasoning was "The weather is better and so you should go out to play". I'm 54 years old and I still go out to play.

[amw]

I'll admit to sometimes being envious of more attractive women, but this generally only lasts until they reveal how much sexual harassment and generally crude & unpleasant behaviour they experience on a frequent basis, after which I tend to become thankful for being at the level of attractiveness I'm at where I rarely attract creeps & assholes. nikf's point about men being somehow afraid of or threatened by attractive women whom they believe are having large quantities of sex, but not with them, does seem to be spot on.

As for success/failure in the social sphere or the workplace.... it's not "being attractive" that's key, so much as taking care of yourself. Take showers, get haircuts, wear the nicest clothes you can afford, etc, and being ugly and fat and w/e will not matter so much. I feel like there are plenty of examples from the classical music world—no one called David Oistrakh an ugly fat balding loser even though he was (arguably) three of those things, because he actually put an effort into being presentable onstage and he could also play the violin well enough that it didn't matter. (I assume the same would also apply to Magic The Gathering although I don't personally know how much of a scene there is for that game—haven't met anyone over the age of about 13 who plays it lmao.)

(also for the record: I'm 26. I would probably not be considered attractive by most people given that I'm 5'8 and currently about 145-150 lbs with a very long face, heavy square chin, asymmetrical nose, flat chest, wide shoulders, fat ass & thighs, etc. People generally like me anyway, are professionally supportive, and basically don't openly judge me by my appearance. When something has caused issues, it's usually been my personality, and tendency to get into fights with people. That rule about not being an arsehole definitely pays dividends to follow.)

[NikF]

I'll admit to sometimes being envious of more attractive women, but this generally only lasts until they reveal how much sexual harassment and generally crude & unpleasant behaviour they experience on a frequent basis, after which I tend to become thankful for being at the level of attractiveness I'm at where I rarely attract creeps & assholes. nikf's point about men being somehow afraid of or threatened by attractive women whom they believe are having large quantities of sex, but not with them, does seem to be spot on.

As for success/failure in the social sphere or the workplace.... it's not "being attractive" that's key, so much as taking care of yourself. Take showers, get haircuts, wear the nicest clothes you can afford, etc, and being ugly and fat and w/e will not matter so much. I feel like there are plenty of examples from the classical music world—no one called David Oistrakh an ugly fat balding loser even though he was (arguably) three of those things, because he actually put an effort into being presentable onstage and he could also play the violin well enough that it didn't matter. (I assume the same would also apply to Magic The Gathering although I don't personally know how much of a scene there is for that game—haven't met anyone over the age of about 13 who plays it lmao.)

(also for the record: I'm 26. I would probably not be considered attractive by most people given that I'm 5'8 and currently about 145-150 lbs with a very long face, heavy square chin, asymmetrical nose, flat chest, wide shoulders, fat ass & thighs, etc. People generally like me anyway, are professionally supportive, and basically don't openly judge me by my appearance. When something has caused issues, it's usually been my personality, and tendency to get into fights with people. That rule about not being an arsehole definitely pays dividends to follow.)

That's a good post (and not just because you gave a nod to a comment I made  ) so thanks for relating both your personal and general view like that.

[vandermolen]

Yeah, it kind of sucks. I am intelligent and I have high education, but it's almost impossible for me to succeed in life just because I am not attractive. Oh boy it was fun to be 20 when I was naive enough to think I have a chance. Now I'm 47 and bitter as hell because life has teached me how important it is to be attractive. It means almost everything. You can be a moron if you are attractive. Life will work out for you, but if you are not attractive life is bitter struggle!

I'd challenge you, in the gentlest possible way, on this. There is a saying in Taoism 'Give up and you will succeed' and I believe that many essential truths are expressed effectively as paradoxes. Although my marriage of 30 years has not exactly been 'a walk in the park' I met my wife after I had, more or less, given up, after a few relationships which, so to speak, blew up on the launching pad. With my wife I just decided to be a friend to her with no expectations of anything else. Furthermore I thought that she was far too pretty to have any interest in me and this is not false modesty. Eventually a different kind of relationship evolved. Things can happen when you least expect them to.

[MN Dave]

Man up, people.