Book

[jchen]

Anyone want to hear some excerpts from the book I am writing?
It's kind of stupid and weird. 

[Dr. Dread]

What's it about?

[Harry]

Let us hear it Jessica, however stupid and weird.

[jchen]

okay.
I am writing a book, but my writing isn't very good.  Like writing a story helps me ugh
well anyways, I am bad at thinking of a title, and it is "Journey for the Star Drink". Stupid name right?
Well I TRIED getting to the subject of the Star Drink, like reaching it, but I just think up of other cool things that I want to write down.

Here's what it's about. It's really hard to explain so....

There is a girl named Jessica  She's the only human left on earth 
Well after finding out she was really special for some reason, Nick, a Prince, wanted the Star Drink (makes you immortal). So Jessica, Nick, Kyle (Nick's half brother), Peter (Nick and Kyle's cousin), Jacob (werewolf), Wolfwing and Bruce (Vampires), Mark (Drakel) and some others (sorry, don't feel like saying who    ) left in search for the Star Drink.
So far so bad.
Many things prevent them from actually reaching their goal, like the Tornado, for example. They are separated.
The questions are:
*Will the Questers (the people who are trying to get the Star Drink) ever get the Star Drink?
*Will the Animagis (a kingdom with people who can turn in any animal) be able to drive out the Dracos (people with dragon wings), who have taken over their kingdom?
*Who caused the Mysterious Force? (You will find out about this later)



So, what do you think of it? I did a bad job explaining. I should give some excerpts, now.
I have so many characters in this book

[Renfield]

I demand a working draft!


And whoever said writing stories doesn't help one's writing?

I've never been to an English school, in any shape or form; and I've spent one year in an American school () when I was nine.

But I had the language in my ears. And I read, and I wrote, and I still read, and I still write.


(Though of course, commanding a language is one thing, and commanding it in an appropriate way for a task is another.

Still, it never hurts to write anything!)

[jchen]

No, no one said that writing stories doesn't help my writing. I just did it because I had a dream  At least in this case, it doesn't help my writing much 

[Wanderer]

Some random thoughts:

- You have to change the name of that star drink. Too common; even cola drinks have better names. You need something that sounds powerful and mystical, probably containing the word elixir in it.

- The plural form of what you call animagis should be animagi. Same goes for dracis (supposing you take Greek as a model language; the Latin plural is dracones).