The limerick thread.

[karlhenning]

("Ana didn't seem to mind at the time," Dave claimed in his own defense . . . .)

[Dr. Dread]

Don't worry. I have natural rhythm.

[Superhorn]

  There was a young Belle of old Natchez,
   whose dresses were all full of patchez.
   when comments arose on the state of her clothes
   she replied"When ah itches ah scratchez "


   
 

                                   

[Dr. Dread]

My God! What a sight to be seen!
Of this thing I am not that keen!
It has great big horns
And hair just like thorns
And favors the taste of a spleen!

[Dr. Dread]

  There was a young Belle of old Natchez,
   whose dresses were all full of patchez.
   when comments arose on the state of her clothes
   she replied"When ah itches ah scratchez "


   
 

                                   

[Gurn Blanston]

You're not going to let Dave defend himself, at least, from the charge of anapesty, Gurn?

My friend Doctor Henning is daft
Despite that, I near always laughed.
His sense for a pun
and his pricking for fun
Was his actual calling and craft.

[Franco]

Karl, he plans and he plots
Thousands of posts for this box
A great feat I agree!
But his value to me
Is as a whipping post for his Red Sox.

I like ChamberNut quite a lot
We agree on what's good and what's not
He likes music for small bands
But despite my best plans
I sometimes see him as ChamberPot.

[Lethevich]

There once was a place called GMG
whose users bought tons of CDs
then a thread on religion
threw a cat in the pidgeons
and everybody was peeved.

[Dr. Dread]

Dittersdorf, it has been said
Wrote music, composed in his head
He wrote all he could
On a desk made of wood
But it went down like a balloon made of lead

[Lethevich]

Dittersdorf is very nice
Though Vanhal is finer
But really, most of all I'd like
The graceful tones of Haydn

[Elgarian]

The issue I'm wanting to delve is:
Was Handel much better than Elvis?
Was his Baroque shoe
Made of suede? Was it blue?
And could Handel wiggle his pelvis?

[Lethevich]

Dittersdorf is very nice
Though Vanhal is finer
But really, most of all I'd like
The graceful tones of Haydn

Man, it's hard to keep them to five lines. I'm going to continue breaking the rules:

Mozart is, as we all know
nothing but a fraud
for the knowledge of this we have
Rob Newman to applaud

[Elgarian]

They say of the music of Brahms
That it's nice, and it has many charms.
But hey, could he rock?
Could he swivel his stock?
And could he gyrate with his arms?

[Elgarian]

I'm going to continue breaking the rules:

You do realise that this could lead to the end of civilisation as we know it?

[Lethevich]

We can't be having that...

Tchaikovsky said he disliked Brahms
but would he wish him dead?
Too much élan
from a silly man
so worried he'd lose his own head.

[Elgarian]

So Mahler's quite good, let's pretend.
(Though his music's too long. Does it end?)
Dylan's songs are much shorter,
(Maybe more than they oughta),
And the wind it is blowing, my friend.

[Dr. Dread]

Very nice.

[Dr. Dread]

From Stygian depths, it did rise
With tentacles and bloated eyes
It reached out its limbs
From a visage most grim
And ignored all our pitiful cries 

[Brian]

Anderson Rutherford Lee
Was a man I'd rather not be
He got a bee stingy
On his poor little thingy
And now he really can't pee

[Elgarian]

From Stygian depths, it did rise
With tentacles and bloated eyes
It reached out its limbs
From a visage most grim
And ignored all our pitiful cries 

That may be the scariest limerick I've ever seen.


Meanwhile, here is my double-stanza bargain-pack Greek mythology Limerick epic:

When Orpheus wandered below,
And Charon said 'Hi there, let's go!'
He jumped in the boat;
They started to float;
And Orpheus wanted to know,

'Hey, when will we get where we're going?'
(The Styx river hardly was flowing.)
And Charon said 'Soon!
But play me a tune,
And give me a hand with the rowing.'