Spousal antipathy

[J]

I'm not in the circumstance myself, but wonder how life works, and what arrangements are made, when a wife or husband (or partner) has a definite dislike of (recordings of)  classical music and oneself a compulsive enthusiasm?

Is it an inevitable hole or wound in a relationship and/or source of tension and annoyance, or something one gets around without much consequence?

[MN Dave]

No problems here. That's why headphones were invented.

[Bulldog]

No problems here. That's why headphones were invented.

I also frequently use headphones.  Actually, I sometimes use them even when the house is empty.

[Gurn Blanston]

I have my own room for the computer, my library, and music listening. I have ceded the television at all times, except for Sunday afternoon sports, and our relationship is as harmonious as... Mendelssohn.



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Listening to:
Constance Keene - Hummel Sonata #2 in Eb for Piano Op 13 2nd mvmt

[J]

If we're talking about merely another piece of taste and entertainment (as classical music might be for some) with regards to which there is a difference of attraction, then the headphones or seperate listening room response would seem to be possible practical solutions.

But how could something so massively impactful (and even shattering) on others here not be shared in by one's life partner
without a significant limiting or evacuation of intimacy resulting?

[MN Dave]

Music can be a shared interest, but it comes down to being between the individual listener and the composer.

[DavidW]

But how could something so massively impactful (and even shattering) on others here not be shared in by one's life partner
without a significant limiting or evacuation of intimacy resulting?

Are you related to Papageno?

[Gurn Blanston]

If we're talking about merely another piece of taste and entertainment (as classical music might be for some) with regards to which there is a difference of attraction, then the headphones or seperate listening room response would seem to be possible practical solutions.

But how could something so massively impactful (and even shattering) on others here not be shared in by one's life partner
without a significant limiting or evacuation of intimacy resulting?

IMO, only pathologically clingy people require totally shared interests in order to maintain a relationship . Mature, modestly intelligent adults with a tolerable level of self-confidence can manage quite nicely to allow their partner to pursue an interest that they don't share. And it's a 2 way street, of course.



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Listening to:
Constance Keene - Hummel Sonata #5 in f# for Piano Op 81 1st mvmt

[J]

Music can be a shared interest, but it comes down to being between the individual listener and the composer.

For some "shared interest" might seem like a rather bloodless potentiality when applied to CM.

Like having an espresso together rather than the mutuality of ecstatic apprehensions.

[MN Dave]

IMO, only pathologically clingy people require totally shared interests in order to maintain a relationship . Mature, modestly intelligent adults with a tolerable level of self-confidence can manage quite nicely to allow their partner to pursue an interest that they don't share. And it's a 2 way street, of course.

Right. I could clone myself, slap tits on it and cut off its willy, but it's just too much work.

[DavidW]

Right. I could clone myself, slap tits on it and cut off its willy, but it's just too much work.

If I were to clone myself, I would also torture and mutilate my clone for fun.

[MN Dave]

If I were to clone myself, I would also torture and mutilate my clone for fun.

You should read SPARES by Michael Marshall Smith. 

[Gurn Blanston]

Right. I could clone myself, slap tits on it and cut off its willy, but it's just too much work.

OK, well, I meant interests like CM and golf, not like plastic f**k dolls... Oh, Dave, I'm soooo confused.




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Listening to:
Constance Keene - Hummel Sonata #5 in f# for Piano Op 81 3rd mvmt

[J]

IMO, only pathologically clingy people require totally shared interests in order to maintain a relationship . Mature, modestly intelligent adults with a tolerable level of self-confidence can manage quite nicely to allow their partner to pursue an interest that they don't share. And it's a 2 way street, of course.

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Listening to:
Constance Keene - Hummel Sonata #5 in f# for Piano Op 81 1st mvmt

"Shared interests" need to be distinguished according to some "scale of significance" in order for your judgement to be discriminately applied.
If the interest happened to be, say, sexual intimacy, it might be a little less "pathologically clingy" for one partner to insist on it becoming shared by his or her mate than, for instance, fantasy football.

[MN Dave]

For Gurn:

"WE LOVE CLASSICAL MUSIC OF THE GURNIAN ERA"

[DavidW]

You should read SPARES by Michael Marshall Smith. 

Sounds like my kind of novel, alrighty ordered.

[DavidW]

For Gurn:

"WE LOVE CLASSICAL MUSIC OF THE GURNIAN ERA"

Nah nah in Texas they have armadillos for that.

[MN Dave]

I don't know anything about Texas armored-dildos.

[DavidW]

I don't know anything about Texas armored-dildos.

The women like it rough down there.

[Gurn Blanston]

"Shared interests" need to be distinguished according to some "scale of significance" in order for your judgement to be discriminately applied.
If the interest happened to be, say, sexual intimacy, it might be a little less "pathologically clingy" for one partner to insist on it becoming shared by his or her mate than, for instance, fantasy football.

Yup. I don't mean things that are meaningful to the relationship (which I consider sex to be. call me old-fashioned ) I'm talking about going out on Saturday morning and playing golf with the guys, or listening to music while she is watching TV in the evening. I know many wives who don't allow their  husbands that 'freedom' without getting their feelings hurt. Doesn't make sense, but there it is.



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Listening to:
Constance Keene - Hummel Sonata #6 in D for Piano Op 106 2nd mvmt