2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest winners

[bhodges]

Since 1982, San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, an annual event that challenges people to create a sentence that opens what is presumably a very, very bad novel.

This year's winner is from Molly Ringle in Seattle:

"For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity's affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss--a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity's mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world's thirstiest gerbil."

www.bulwer-lytton.com

--Bruce

[Gurn Blanston]

Oh, that's a good one!

For those who don't know (not many of you, I'm sure), Bulwer-Lytton was the author of the immortal opening line; "It was a dark and stormy night..." 

[Florestan]

Oh, that's a good one!

For those who don't know (not many of you, I'm sure), Bulwer-Lytton was the author of the immortal opening line; "It was a dark and stormy night..." 

Stolen from Goethe's Erlkoenig, no doubt. 

[bhodges]

Stolen from Goethe's Erlkoenig, no doubt. 

This one is also pretty great (one of the runners-up):

"As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, 'Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand afoot ahead.'"

--Bruce

[Florestan]

This one is also pretty great (one of the runners-up):

"As Holmes, who had a nose for danger, quietly fingered the bloody knife and eyed the various body parts strewn along the dark, deserted highway, he placed his ear to the ground and, with his heart in his throat, silently mouthed to his companion, 'Arm yourself, Watson, there is an evil hand afoot ahead.'"

--Bruce

Stolen from Karl May's Winnetou, no doubt. 

[bhodges]

Stolen from Karl May's Winnetou, no doubt. 

I don't think I've ever seen such a parade of body parts included in a single sentence.

--Bruce

[Florestan]

I don't think I've ever seen such a parade of body parts included in a single sentence.

--Bruce

Quite. And that "evil hand afoot" is a gem.