The Dating Thread

[ibanezmonster]

and finally, the fantastic advice offered by vandermolen via the Taoist statement 'give up and you will succeed' - that's it. I'd never heard it put that way before. My version is 'don't be outcome dependant' and I apply it to everything.

In the context of: Brad Pitt alone on a desert island isn't going to get any action at all. Maybe with a coconut.

So what you write later in the post about being around others (girls, maybe, in my case) really comes first before "don't try." I've spent so many years not trying and it hasn't done anything. The one friend I hang out with most doesn't try and nothing happens for him (I wonder sometimes if he's interested in dating anyone at all even though he obviously likes girls), despite being the funniest guy I've known. He doesn't hang out with girls, just guy friends that don't have girlfriends.

[NikF]

In the context of: Brad Pitt alone on a desert island isn't going to get any action at all. Maybe with a coconut.

So what you write later in the post about being around others (girls, maybe, in my case) really comes first before "don't try." I've spent so many years not trying and it hasn't done anything. The one friend I hang out with most doesn't try and nothing happens for him (I wonder sometimes if he's interested in dating anyone at all even though he obviously likes girls), despite being the funniest guy I've known. He doesn't hang out with girls, just guy friends that don't have girlfriends.

You tell the same tale so many people tell. But there's nothing unique about your situation. We're all in the same boat.

The good news is that most people eventually decide they're not a special snowflake after all and/or the world isn't really against them. That's when they begin to move forward and achieve what they want. And I wish you success in making that start, sooner rather than later.

[AdamFromWashington]

There's just something incredible about the most heavy, masculine music ever set to extremely feminine dancers. It just makes me imagine that they're all my slave dancers and I'm just sitting at a throne and forcing them to dance in complex time signatures to perfection each day. "Again! Again! Again!" Maybe finally clap at the end when I'm satisfied.

See, now that just seems creepy to me. Even if you're joking. The idea of forcing a woman to dance for you is...

Situations where people lack autonomy don't sit right with me. I could never find them attractive. 

[ibanezmonster]

You tell the same tale so many people tell. But there's nothing unique about your situation. We're all in the same boat.

The good news is that most people eventually decide they're not a special snowflake after all and/or the world isn't really against them. That's when they begin to move forward and achieve what they want. And I wish you success in making that start, sooner rather than later.

I appreciate any advice given to me on this thread, but pretty much everything is already a given. I'm starting to think that luck is by far the biggest factor more than anything. Especially advice like "be yourself/your best self" and "put yourself out there." And really, who isn't doing both?

See, now that just seems creepy to me. Even if you're joking. The idea of forcing a woman to dance for you is...

Situations where people lack autonomy don't sit right with me. I could never find them attractive. 

I'm joking. There's a certain appeal the idea has to me, though in reality it probably wouldn't be as appealing as something "normal" could be.

[ibanezmonster]

And especially the "don't try" advice. That's the same advice I got from my friend when I messaged her a few days ago (I didn't ask for advice, though, just wanted to complain to her).

Pretty much 99.9999% of my life is spent not trying to get a girlfriend, and like I said, many years of my life that would 100%. So it's basically irrelevant. I think now that luck is everything.

[Mirror Image]

In terms of my own personal life, I'm not too worried about finding 'the woman' I'm supposed to be with any longer. If it happens, then it will happen naturally and not be forced or manufactured in any way. Sometimes it's best to accept the reality of your situation rather than trying to go down a road of disappointment and, ultimately, hopes being dashed time and time again.

[ibanezmonster]

In terms of my own personal life, I'm not too worried about finding 'the woman' I'm supposed to be with any longer. If it happens, then it will happen naturally and not be forced or manufactured in any way. Sometimes it's best to accept the reality of your situation rather than trying to go down a road of disappointment and, ultimately, hopes being dashed time and time again.

Exactly what I'm getting at. It's all just luck. And some of us have far worse luck than usual (and some have even worse luck by dating someone who is a destructive influence on them). It's all really out of our control.

See, now that just seems creepy to me. Even if you're joking. The idea of forcing a woman to dance for you is...

To be more specific, that would be my version of an S&M fetish that some people have. 

[snyprrr]

And especially the "don't try" advice. That's the same advice I got from my friend when I messaged her a few days ago (I didn't ask for advice, though, just wanted to complain to her).

Pretty much 99.9999% of my life is spent not trying to get a girlfriend, and like I said, many years of my life that would 100%. So it's basically irrelevant. I think now that luck is everything.

Yea, the "don't try" ruse... who the f came up with that anyway???


"there is only do, no try?"


I don't think they mean that.



So, I had a "date" with The Batshit Crazy,... woooow, just imagine, 40, looks like a sexpot, medicated, just craaazy self absorbed and jekyll/hyde and aaaaahhhhhh.... "why did you say that?" "why are you doing that?" "I hate gossips" (then gossips)... and so on "you drive like an old woman":

SSSKKKKKKRRREEEEEEEECCCCCCCCHHHHHHH...... awright, get out.

No, it didn't happen. Greg, you've got to realize when something needs to be dealt with. I should have just given her the riot act right there,... missy, and you can get out and walk sweetie,... or say nothing, turn around, drop em off.

Seriously, how many times, when you got nothing in the end, would it have been so much more empowering to cut them off at the very first sign? Like, if you were at the restaurant and out comes the phone: you wave the waiter over and tell him you're leaving... ?... or just excuse yourself whilst she's ensconced, and leave. Done. Don't put up with shit if you're fairly sure you're going to get some more of what you've gotten in the past.

Tell em to Check Their Privilege!!!!i



can you just make friends with a stripper? just to keep any potential in check? eh?

[ibanezmonster]

Yea, the "don't try" ruse... who the f came up with that anyway???


"there is only do, no try?"


I don't think they mean that.

That and "stop looking."

Okay, I did experiment with trying out online dating, as mentioned early in this thread. But this is the line I got from my friend (the last girl I asked out) when I messaged her. She wanted to give out helpful advice, but she doesn't know that I've only ever asked out girls from work. Besides that small experiment, you could very well say I've never been looking my entire life.

can you just make friends with a stripper? just to keep any potential in check? eh?

Strippers and hookers both kinda creep me out.

So, I had a "date" with The Batshit Crazy,... woooow, just imagine, 40, looks like a sexpot, medicated, just craaazy self absorbed and jekyll/hyde and aaaaahhhhhh.... "why did you say that?" "why are you doing that?" "I hate gossips" (then gossips)... and so on "you drive like an old woman":

SSSKKKKKKRRREEEEEEEECCCCCCCCHHHHHHH...... awright, get out.

No, it didn't happen. Greg, you've got to realize when something needs to be dealt with. I should have just given her the riot act right there,... missy, and you can get out and walk sweetie,... or say nothing, turn around, drop em off.

Seriously, how many times, when you got nothing in the end, would it have been so much more empowering to cut them off at the very first sign? Like, if you were at the restaurant and out comes the phone: you wave the waiter over and tell him you're leaving... ?... or just excuse yourself whilst she's ensconced, and leave. Done. Don't put up with shit if you're fairly sure you're going to get some more of what you've gotten in the past.

Tell em to Check Their Privilege!!!!i

Lol. Seems you're not encountering too many quality women, either.

[The Six]

You people are crazy, anyways. I'll take my death metal and my submissive big-eyed, big-titted anime girls and be on my way now and have some fun.

[jochanaan]

"Don't try" contains a profound truth, but is meant to be understood in a nuanced way.  It doesn't mean to stop looking!  We all look; it's in our Y chromosone. And if we are honest, we ask.  But there is an art to asking, and it is to ask simply, in the same way we might ask someone sitting at a table with us to "pass the salt."  And if she says no--let it go.  Try again later, perhaps.  If she says no again, it's time for you to look around again.

Now, if she says, "I can't do it then" but sounds like she might do it when her schedule permits, that's when you keep asking.  But not right away.  It's like trying to set up a business appointment; you check each other's calendars and find a time and event for which you are both free.

Yes, if the interest is there, it really is that simple.

[ibanezmonster]

That is... elaborate.

"Don't try" contains a profound truth, but is meant to be understood in a nuanced way.  It doesn't mean to stop looking!  We all look; it's in our Y chromosone. And if we are honest, we ask.  But there is an art to asking, and it is to ask simply, in the same way we might ask someone sitting at a table with us to "pass the salt."  And if she says no--let it go.  Try again later, perhaps.  If she says no again, it's time for you to look around again.

Now, if she says, "I can't do it then" but sounds like she might do it when her schedule permits, that's when you keep asking.  But not right away.  It's like trying to set up a business appointment; you check each other's calendars and find a time and event for which you are both free.

Yes, if the interest is there, it really is that simple.

I wouldn't completely rule out asking in the future, but in my experience if they are interested, they'll ask me and usually I know they're interested before they ask.


Gonna try to go back to waking up early and playing FF11 all day like before, especially considering updates stop in November. Gotta have that one thing to be excited about every day, and it doesn't seem like anything else can fill that role.

[Rinaldo]

Gonna try to go back to waking up early and playing FF11 all day like before, especially considering updates stop in November. Gotta have that one thing to be excited about every day, and it doesn't seem like anything else can fill that role.

And here you wonder why you've got no luck dating.

Sure, there's a chance you'll meet someone in an online game (I actually know a bunch of happy couples that met via an MMO and it's becoming less and less uncommon nowadays) but as long as you spend most of your life in virtual worlds, your love life will be virtual as well.

I suggested that before and witnessing the scope of your anime fetish, I'd suggest it again: anime / gaming conventions. Plenty of girlish geek girls to meet there (and meeting people is not 'trying' – it's living).

[ibanezmonster]

And here you wonder why you've got no luck dating.

Sure, there's a chance you'll meet someone in an online game (I actually know a bunch of happy couples that met via an MMO and it's becoming less and less uncommon nowadays) but as long as you spend most of your life in virtual worlds, your love life will be virtual as well.

That's what I thought until I realized I was completely wrong.

I was playing FF14, then quit and decided to find some anime to watch for my free time. By the end of watching Dragonball, I just got sick of literally everything. And that's when I had a rare Saturday off and was able to get together with the two girls I work with to hang out. And after that, I decided to just spend my free time hanging out with people. The problem is, that doesn't work because look how I tried to hang out with that girl for over two weeks and wasn't able to.

I still get to hang out with a friend once a week. We just talk about crazy stuff at his house and go to the mall or whatever. I don't see how that is supposed to boost my luck or something, but I don't mean that I'm going to stop hanging out with him.

I "go out" whenever I can with friends, but any more than that and I would just be going out alone. Not that that's bad, but I shouldn't have to rely on "picking up" girls just to get a date. I don't think most people do. I'm not a PUA.

I suggested that before and witnessing the scope of your anime fetish, I'd suggest it again: anime / gaming conventions. Plenty of girlish geek girls to meet there (and meeting people is not 'trying' – it's living).

Yeah, I'll have to do that. Though it would be better not to expect anything.

[ibanezmonster]

https://www.youtube.com/v/tzoj5XKEWLQ

[snyprrr]

fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap

[Ken B]

fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap

Wrong thread. James discusses Boulez on the Pierre Boulez thread.

[Henk]

Greg, here something to fuck for you:

http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Mirai-cuteness-526182364

[ibanezmonster]

eh... you can't do anything to a doll, but...

I like this one in the related section:

http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Captain-Liliana-Queens-Blade-4-265952124

and this:

http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Yuka-Yoshii-Tsundero-6-264391306

[Henk]

eh... you can't do anything to a doll, but...

I like this one in the related section:

http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Captain-Liliana-Queens-Blade-4-265952124

and this:

http://wieselhead.deviantart.com/art/Yuka-Yoshii-Tsundero-6-264391306

Well, when there is a hole in the doll?

I like them too.