The most boring music you've heard

[LVB_opus.125]

After your edit:

Mindless shopping zombie in an ideal capitalist world. But to increase sales, indeed. I believe its a happy comment on the power of man's intelligence. The benefits of such research are just beginning to yield what is possible with controlled music.

The Rite of Spring, Muzak, General Noriega, etc., look at what music is capable of. 

Wow, this is an old thread and I didn't even realize it. I was surprised to find myself quoted while backtracking from my new post. So to refresh, I'll see if I follow your argument. 1) Man's place on planet Earth is to be a comsumer. 2) Muzak was invented to make man a "better" consumer. 3) Muzak is good because it makes man into more of a consumer? I'm lost.

[greg]

I met a man recently who claimed his son was a composer of "classical music" and he told me to check out his website. I won't post it here because it doesn't matter. Anyways, my hopes were dashed immediately when I heard that it was actually pretty sounding new age music designed to be listened to during yoga, or while you're lighting incense, surrounded by scented candles, and taking a bubble bath all at the same time. Yikes! That's gotta be the most boring music I can imagine. Although the electronic/ambient genre has some artists of actual merit, including: Brian Eno, Steve Roach, Robert Rich, Lustmord, and so on. It's "background" music for atmosphere but their music is actually interesting and artistic, rather than functional "mood" music.

I still don't understand how that boy's father could have this new age stuff confused with the likes of Mozart and Beethoven!

The music market itself (or a big portion, at least) seem to have them confused, especially with all the "Classical Music for Meditation/Relaxation" discs out there. Next time they decide to put one out, i'll have to call them and send in a request....... "hey, there's this totally chillin' track by Xenakis called 'Jonchaies'" 

[mahler10th]

Messiaen - his music was a lot of pretentious nonsense, I couldn't possibly sit through a 'performance' of anything by him.  Boring because it doesn't make sense.  Maybe it's just that I've never liked where he takes me.
However, I accept that I do like Lutoslawski a LOT, and much of his work doesn't make much sense either, but he has a glorious habit of taking me to unearthy places which I like very much.  So I guess what I'm saying is... here's two very different composers whose music to a Romantic period lover makes no sense whatsoever - Messiaen with his pretence in a boring quasi-religious and unpallatable style, and Lutoslawski with his brain tickling quirky madness who really wants to toss your brain around a bit.
Don't know why I brought Lutoslawski into it, really.  All I needed to say was Messiaen...

[DavidRoss]

Wow, this is an old thread and I didn't even realize it. I was surprised to find myself quoted while backtracking from my new post. So to refresh, I'll see if I follow your argument. 1) Man's place on planet Earth is to be a comsumer. 2) Muzak was invented to make man a "better" consumer. 3) Muzak is good because it makes man into more of a consumer? I'm lost.

Muzak^® was invented to increase worker productivity. 

The most boring music I've heard?  I once heard something by a pop band called Rush.

[Tapio Dmitriyevich]

The music market itself (or a big portion, at least) seem to have them confused, especially with all the "Classical Music for Meditation/Relaxation" discs out there. Next time they decide to put one out, i'll have to call them and send in a request....... "hey, there's this totally chillin' track by Xenakis called 'Jonchaies'" 

This is probably to elevate that simple "music" to a higher level.
"Chilling", haha, how I like this term. This anglicism is used here in germany by maybe people <30yrs. "Wir chillen" means nothing else than "we're bored, sit together and don't know how to use our time". Also like a marketing strategy, elevating the boredom to a higher level.
They say "wir chillen", we said "wir gammeln herum".

[Kullervo]

Skinny white guys with grating falsetto voices that make pretentious, soulless and over-produced pop — replete with cheesy string arrangements and bad piano playing. 

[Philoctetes]

Stravinsky still has the consistent ability to lull me to sleep.

[Christo]

Stravinsky still has the consistent ability to lull me to sleep.

You must be referring to the great & lovely Berceuse from The Firebird, in the Suite just preceding the Finale.  A pity you seem to be missing the Finale, everytime 

[Hector]

Amazing.

I think that if you let this thread run long enough every composer that ever lived and every music genre would be cited as "boring" by someone.

I do not find Rachmaninov boring, I simply, do not like him.

I find Hans Huber bland and boring and there is a lot of it available on CD.

I do find Telemann boring but whoever said that he helps you get to sleep is spot on.

However, I do find some performances of certain composers boring or, most times, merely annoying.

Jochum's Bruckner symphonies, for example. Try Wand.

There are so many "safe" recordings of Mahler out there as to make me, for one, sorry I ever heard, let alone, bought them (Chailly, MTT...). Who is next up to bore us with his "vision" of the 6th, for example (who hasn't recorded it, yet?)?

This is my personal point of view (and let's face it, Stravinsky could be as dull and as boring as any on occasion...oops, how did that slip in...what I meant was...).

[karlhenning]

I do find Telemann boring but whoever said that he helps you get to sleep is spot on.

Myself, I prefer even to fall asleep to music which I actually like . . . .

[greg]

The most boring music I've heard?  I once heard something by a pop band called Rush.

I assume it wasn't YYZ.

This is probably to elevate that simple "music" to a higher level.
"Chilling", haha, how I like this term. This anglicism is used here in germany by maybe people <30yrs. "Wir chillen" means nothing else than "we're bored, sit together and don't know how to use our time". Also like a marketing strategy, elevating the boredom to a higher level.
They say "wir chillen", we said "wir gammeln herum".

Interesting......  makes me wonder how/why they started picking that up in Germany.... and if the term is in common use in England, too.

[zamyrabyrd]

I recently saw a film on Philip Glass "in 12 parts". It was well done and interesting but thank goodness there were only clips of his music and one did not have to endure 5 hours of it. I was irritated by the constant triadic harmony, easy enough to doodle around on the piano.

Though I like most good music, Chinese music if based on equally irritating repetitive pentatonic scales, makes me want to run for cover.

ZB

[Tapio Dmitriyevich]

Interesting......  makes me wonder how/why they started picking that up in Germany

It started with those "chill out zones" in clubs and discos. These areas with ambient music and hanging around. This term got transformed to the real life hanging around situations.
Why? Germans generally think, anglicizing terms elevates the terms/their contents to a higher level, it's some kind of window-dressing. Also brownnosing, but I think I've already said that

[Moldyoldie]

Glière: Symphony No. 3 "Ilya Murometz"
Royal Philharmonic Orchestra
Harold Farberman, cond.
UNICORN-KANCHANA (2 CDs)
I don't know if it's Glière's work or the performance, but this is by far the most boring thing I've ever heard in my entire listening life -- where I've said, "You've gotta be kidding me!"

[karlhenning]

Glière: Symphony No. 3 "Ilya Murometz"
Royal Philharmonic Orchestra
Harold Farberman, cond.
UNICORN-KANCHANA (2 CDs)
I don't know if it's Gliere's work or the performance, but this is by far the most boring thing I've ever heard in my entire listening life -- where I've said, "You've gotta be kidding me!"

Could be a dud recording/performance;  a couple of friends of mine like the piece very well.

[ChamberNut]

Sousa's Stars & Stripes Forever.

[greg]

It started with those "chill out zones" in clubs and discos. These areas with ambient music and hanging around. This term got transformed to the real life hanging around situations.
Why? Germans generally think, anglicizing terms elevates the terms/their contents to a higher level, it's some kind of window-dressing. Also brownnosing, but I think I've already said that

anglicizing terms elevates the terms/their contents to a higher level,

huh..... obviously something i don't get, and would never understand lol

[Grazioso]

The most boring music I've heard?  I once heard something by a pop band called Rush.

They're not a "pop" band, but rather are typically considered prog rock and are both lyrically and musically rather more interesting and intelligent than most rock out there.

[DavidRoss]

They're not a "pop" band, but rather are typically considered prog rock and are both lyrically and musically rather more interesting and intelligent than most rock out there.

Yep--pop. And what I heard was neither lyrically nor musically intelligent, but about as vapid as it gets.

[Siedler]

Cage's 4'33"  Now that's music I could (and do) fall asleep to!