The most boring music you've heard

[Brian]

Glière: Symphony No. 3 "Ilya Murometz"
Royal Philharmonic Orchestra
Harold Farberman, cond.
UNICORN-KANCHANA (2 CDs)
I don't know if it's Glière's work or the performance, but this is by far the most boring thing I've ever heard in my entire listening life -- where I've said, "You've gotta be kidding me!"

DEFINITELY the performance. Farberman's account is roughly 15-20 minutes slower than everybody else's (it's the only one on 2 CDs). Gliere's work is basically a big sprawling confabulation of all the Russian romantic composers and styles, so it certainly is fun to listen to ... when you listen to a better performance.

[Lethevich]

I didn't think that I would have an answer for this thread, as I enjoy an aspect of basically everything, but I thought of an exception: Reich's Four Organs. I can find no redeeming qualities in this pedantic piece.

[eyeresist]

All music I don't like is boring.

There are so many "safe" recordings of Mahler out there as to make me, for one, sorry I ever heard, let alone, bought them (Chailly, MTT...). Who is next up to bore us with his "vision" of the 6th, for example (who hasn't recorded it, yet?)?

Who's your top tip for the inglorious 6th?

[J.Z. Herrenberg]

Interesting......  makes me wonder how/why they started picking that up in Germany.... and if the term is in common use in England, too.

Dutch teenagers use it, too.

[sound67]

Wilhelm Furtwängler's drearily ersatz-Brucknerian 2nd Symphony, as conducted by Daniel Barenboim. Even his strong advocacy could inject ANY life into this lumbering monstrosity.

The Gliere 3rd is a masterpiece by comparison. Indeed it is a minor masterpiece.

Thomas

[LVB_opus.125]

Muzak^® was invented to increase worker productivity. 

The most boring music I've heard?  I once heard something by a pop band called Rush.

I've worked under muzak for the past eight years. All it has accomplished is that it causes mild depression during boring stretches of the day. In eight years I've met enough people to count on one hand that actually liked the music. Everyone else loathes it. I could easily put together a playlist of real music that would serve the same "worker productivity" purpose better. I'll show a quick sample list off the top of my head:

Vashti Bunyan "Swallow Song"
Nick Drake "Time of No Reply"
Brian Eno "Here He Comes"
John Cale "Half Past France"
Velvet Underground "Pale Blue Eyes"
Leonard Cohen "Sisters of Mercy"
Slowdive "Alison"
Camel "Air Born"

I could go on and on but I don't want this to become a project (that leads nowhere). The point I'm trying to make is that all of the above songs could be inserted into a muzak station (that plays actual rock/pop songs, not "elevator music") seamlessly, but they are artistically strong offerings, that would heighten the work experience rather than put you in a coma. I know that everyone's musical tastes vary and that not everyone would like/understand the above listed music, but they at least aspired to be art, rather than product.

[Sergeant Rock]

I spent the afternoon listening to it once again, hoping my response would be more favorable this time. But no. I have to say the most boring music I know is Bach's St. Matthew Passion. There, I've admitted it. I feel so much better now. 


Sarge

[karlhenning]

I spent the afternoon listening to it once again, hoping my response would be more favorable this time. But no. I have to say the most boring music I know is Bach's St. Matthew Passion. There, I've admitted it. I feel so much better now. 

It is (* ahem *) dreadful, perfectly dreadful, that I cannot greatly dispute with you, Sarge.  I cannot take this for more than one disc at a time; and while there is much that I like, it is entirely too, erm, penitential an experience to my liking.

[J.Z. Herrenberg]

Are we then all crawling out of our bunkers... If I never heard Bach's St. Matthew Passion anymore, I wouldn't be heart-broken, either.

Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

[71 dB]

I cannot take this for more than one disc at a time.

I think we are supposed to take one disc at a time instead of listening to them all simultanuously.   

[(poco) Sforzando]

I spent the afternoon listening to it once again, hoping my response would be more favorable this time. But no. I have to say the most boring music I know is Bach's St. Matthew Passion. There, I've admitted it. I feel so much better now. 

Sarge

It is (* ahem *) dreadful, perfectly dreadful, that I cannot greatly dispute with you, Sarge.  I cannot take this for more than one disc at a time; and while there is much that I like, it is entirely too, erm, penitential an experience to my liking.

Are we then all crawling out of our bunkers... If I never heard Bach's St. Matthew Passion anymore, I wouldn't be heart-broken, either.

Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

Kommt ihr Töchter, hilft mir klagen . . . .

[karlhenning]

I think we are supposed to take one disc at a time instead of listening to them all simultanuously.   

[karlhenning]

Sforz, at some point I will sit down and listen to the whole ench, score in hand.  Maybe that will do the trick.

At press-time, though, I greatly fear me I shan't stay awake the whole time 

[(poco) Sforzando]

ah the prodigal son...

give it some time karl, you'll come around...

Maybe he was listening to a HIP recording. Try one of the good ones. 

[karlhenning]

No, neither of the ones I've listened to seems to be HIP . . . .

[J.Z. Herrenberg]

 

Kommt ihr Töchter, hilft mir klagen . . . .

Not so quick, Sfz - I love the instrumental Bach. The vocal I can stomach only partially (chorales, for instance).

All is not lost. Nor am I!

[(poco) Sforzando]

Well, I will agree with the person who claimed Messiaen boring. At least the Messiaen of St. Francis of Assisi. As I said on another thread, you'd need the patience of a saint. . . .

[DavidRoss]

I've worked under muzak for the past eight years. All it has accomplished is that it causes mild depression during boring stretches of the day. In eight years I've met enough people to count on one hand that actually liked the music. Everyone else loathes it. I could easily put together a playlist of real music that would serve the same "worker productivity" purpose better.

No, that would defeat the purpose.  If you were to use real music, workers might consciously listen to it.  The stuff is suposed to work subliminally--something akin to the subsonic heartbeat playback hucksters use to increase audience susceptibility to suggestion.  There's probably a website that explains Muzak^® if you're really interested. 

[karlhenning]

The stuff is suposed to work subliminally--something akin to the subsonic heartbeat playback hucksters use to increase audience susceptibility to suggestion.

Yes, it's supposed to. But in effect it often works as an active nuisance . . . .

[(poco) Sforzando]

Not so quick, Sfz - I love the instrumental Bach. The vocal I can stomach only partially (chorales, for instance).

All is not lost. Nor am I!

Well, yes, admittedly the St. Matthew Passion lacks the festive brilliance of the B minor mass or the Magnificat, and it is more introspective, far longer, and somewhat less dramatic than the St. John. But only the instrumental works, Jez? Then you're missing a great deal of first-class Bach: the mass, the cantatas, passions, motets . . .