Dating or not dating.

[Mirror Image]

Thanks. However I don't believe in luck, but I do believe in the combo of the law of averages and having a big mouth.

[greg]

Well her names Adelia and she's from Chilie, so I commented on the meaning of her name and said that it was those qualities I look for in a woman  , then I asked if she was also a student around these parts. But I'm not used to this online stuff either 

Don't get your hopes up with every match. A big problem with Tinder is that probably 1 out of every 3 matches or so that you'll get are spam. You'll learn soon how to identify spam. They usually respond with the same messages, which have nothing to do with what you are writing to them, and they appear fast.

And for your opening messages, seriously, just say hi for every single one. Not even worth wasting your time saying anything else. Sometimes you hear that with online dating you should "write something clever and witty in your opening line to catch their attention," but that is just such complete bullshit. They will respond if they like your pictures. That's nearly the entire game right there.

And yeah, in retrospect, I'd probably recommend swiping enough to get 1-3 matches per day, like what you're doing now. That's how I found someone. Going all out was a bit crazy. I think I did that because I didn't care any more- I got back into gaming and realizing that was much more fun than fishing for what will most likely only result in a hookup. Ditched it and found my true happiness in fantasy world, Eorzea. 

[ComposerOfAvantGarde]

Tinder actually ended up making me feel like crap after nearly two weeks of using it.  To begin with i was nervous swiping right but after two days I ended up swiping right on most people. I got two matches in the end. Both were spam. I certainly felt a bit of a blow to my self esteem....I showed a few pictures of myself (one face, one full body, also a smartly dressed and playing guitar one) and with the help of two friends who recommended I try the app out I wrote and edited and rewrote and re-edited a short biography in which I tried to sum up my interests and personality and who I am in the most succinct way possible. In the end I felt like nobody actually found me interesting enough to want to chat.

After a day or two i got over my selfish self pity and deleted the app.

[NikF]

I'm already sick of it,

Tinder actually ended up making me feel like crap after nearly two weeks of using it. 

TFA and Jessop both thwarted without even having to leave the comfort of their own home.

[NikF]

I'd rather just meet people in my own house than be bored out of my brains scrolling left all day, the amount of obvious fake accounts too is unbearable 

I was just poking a little fun at you both.   I  know getting cool dates isn't easy, regardless

Have you had any luck of there brother? 

Yeah, once. And she was using the app for same reason I was - no strings attached sex. She was a medical sales rep and let me know when she would be in town. We got together and it was cool and good.
But my best friend (colleague/arch-nemesis etc) has had a huge amount of success with it. However he's 28 and the model/actor type, although he's kind of a wimp and even a little bit of a nerd. But by the time the girls (especially the late teens/early 20s) have figured that out, he's already well on his way to bumping gums and stuff with them

[NikF]

I wish I had your luck on there, every man has his needs.

I don't like that word 'luck'... But I do know what you mean.
With the medical rep I think the fact that I'm older than most Tindr users worked in my favour. But the opposite works too, in that a lot of older women look for young guys.

Your friend sounds like quite the ladies man then 

Yeah, he gets around nowadays. But he only started having success when he began to behave like a real man. I know that sounds a terrible thing to say but it just means he quit being immature and entitled and moody and super sensitive and all that crap.

I just reinstalled it to do a little experiment, even though most of the girls despite being usually decently attractive; I wouldn't swipe right, I'm going to do the opposite and try and out-scam the app. See if anything unusual happens, beside the brief "you're out of likes" 

If you go ahead with your experiment let us know how you get on.

I'll just wait till I get to flirt with the composer and musician chicks on music orientation. or perhaps give them a complimentary performance of Mozarts "Leck mich im Arsch" 

That's exactly the way to do it. You go out and you talk with people. When you find one you really like (and you think she likes you too) then you make it clear from the outset. And if she wants you she'll find a way to let you know. In the meantime, have fun.
Flirting is indeed cool. 

[greg]

Last night, I dreamed that I met this girl I used to like between 6 and 8 years ago when I worked with her. She now has two daughters, a 1 year old and a 3 year old. In the dream I was holding the 3-year old's hand like I was her dad. I just wanted to pretend to be for a minute. It was actually great.  Dreams are odd that way. Didn't expect that... they can reveal to you subconscious stuff that you aren't aware of. For example, the first time I had a crush was when I was in 4th grade, and it all stemmed from a dream.

Now contrast with reality... I just received my, ummm.... dakimakura today. It's great, but... umm.... yeah. I really don't fit in with society. 

I'm laughing, thinking about some of the stuff on the packaging as the lady at my apartment office hands me the package. I almost wish I could show her it as I imagine an uncomfortable reaction- it's beautiful! 

I mean, you can't beat being able to fall asleep with something like that every single night WITHOUT having to share your apartment.

Tinder actually ended up making me feel like crap after nearly two weeks of using it.  To begin with i was nervous swiping right but after two days I ended up swiping right on most people. I got two matches in the end. Both were spam. I certainly felt a bit of a blow to my self esteem....I showed a few pictures of myself (one face, one full body, also a smartly dressed and playing guitar one) and with the help of two friends who recommended I try the app out I wrote and edited and rewrote and re-edited a short biography in which I tried to sum up my interests and personality and who I am in the most succinct way possible. In the end I felt like nobody actually found me interesting enough to want to chat.

After a day or two i got over my selfish self pity and deleted the app.

My friend's roomate is the same- tried on tinder and never had any luck.

That sucks... all I can say. Damn.

[snyprrr]

This is surely the universal sign of RUN... RUN FAR AWAY!!


I seriously just had the out-of-the-blue nastiest reaction from just about anyone ever...


I know my last Post here was kind of a joke (drunk lady... "whatever"), but, I'd been keeping something from you all.


Did I mention the lady who looked like Elizabeth Taylor with the giant fakies? Well, you're gonna have to pay money for this one of snyprrr's all time stories (if I told it from the get go)...

Anyhow...


whew... I wouldn't know where to start... but, wow, she was just screaming at me in the car - I had seen here go off on others, but now the laser beam of (it must be someone else's fault) was on me. I thought she'd scoop out my eyes whilst I was driving!!!

Peg Bundy + The Nanny + (Rosie O'Donnell's wonderful temperament )




Did I mention I got chocked by her psycho-ex around Thanksgiving?



yea, good times!!



It's like she wants a heart attack... she almost exudes the "please kill me" vibe... she is truly one miserable miserable person, but makes it impossible for any sympathy because of her absolute fuck-nutness... so vile...


coo coo coo... bludgeon


coo coo coo... bludgeon



The woman is mature, too,... so, really, nothing more unappealing than a woman of age who acts like someone with a magnifying glass on ants.


"How you gonna take care of me?"


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



NO CONTACT. PERIOD. (word to the wise)

[greg]

NO CONTACT. PERIOD. (word to the wise)

Good.

[NikF]

This is surely the universal sign of RUN... RUN FAR AWAY!!

I seriously just had the out-of-the-blue nastiest reaction from just about anyone ever...


*horror story snipped*

That's the kind of door you shouldn't even be knocking on in the first place.

Good.

Yeah, less posting about running away, but more actual running away.

So I "out liked" it and it has no more suggestions 

I'll stick to real life dating like usual 

Sounds like it indirectly suggested the option you've chosen - to stick to going outside and meeting people. Good stuff.

[NikF]

Update about the dancer/bringing it to a close -

Next week I've a concert and it'll be the first time in a while for me to be going out and being sociable. I still have a bit of a limp (an aside: what good is a limp? I don't need it. Bollocks to having a limp) which means I need to walk slowish and so I've arranged for a kind friend to help get me to and from the concert. When I was talking to them they provided some insight into why the dancer glared at me angrily the last time I saw her.

When she and I decided to stop dating we still had tickets for an event we'd planned to attend - a live beamed back performance at the cinema. So I told her she could have my ticket and take a friend, while I would go to see it in another cinema elsewhere. She agreed to do that and ended up arranging to go with a *rambunctious libertine mob of her ballet dancer friends.

The evening of the event arrived and she called one of her friends to say she can't make it because she's working. Her friend was suspicious about that excuse but accepted it. She was right to be wary though, because it turns out the dancer wanted to see me and so she got on a train and travelled about one hour to get to the cinema where I'd said I was going to be. She couldn't find me in the auditorium and then when it was over she stood outside to catch me when I was leaving. But she couldn't, because I had changed my mind and decided to stay at home that night. And that's why she glared at me so angrily before the concert.

She's kind, warm, passionate and intelligent. While not a raving beauty or a movie star, she's certainly attractive. And although she's not as young as the women I usually spend time with she's younger than I am by quite a few years. Also, despite retiring a couple of years ago the fact remains that she's still a blonde ballerina. However, there's more to life than tapping a dancer's derrière. (I'm frequently reminding myself of that)
And so a soap opera chapter of my life has come to a close. It's for the best. Now? As ever, forward.


* that's the little known collective noun for a group of ballet dancers. Fact.

[Mirror Image]

Update about the dancer/bringing it to a close -

Next week I've a concert and it'll be the first time in a while for me to be going out and being sociable. I still have a bit of a limp (an aside: what good is a limp? I don't need it. Bollocks to having a limp) which means I need to walk slowish and so I've arranged for a kind friend to help get me to and from the concert. When I was talking to them they provided some insight into why the dancer glared at me angrily the last time I saw her.

When she and I decided to stop dating we still had tickets for an event we'd planned to attend - a live beamed back performance at the cinema. So I told her she could have my ticket and take a friend, while I would go to see it in another cinema elsewhere. She agreed to do that and ended up arranging to go with a *rambunctious libertine mob of her ballet dancer friends.

The evening of the event arrived and she called one of her friends to say she can't make it because she's working. Her friend was suspicious about that excuse but accepted it. She was right to be wary though, because it turns out the dancer wanted to see me and so she got on a train and travelled about one hour to get to the cinema where I'd said I was going to be. She couldn't find me in the auditorium and then when it was over she stood outside to catch me when I was leaving. But she couldn't, because I had changed my mind and decided to stay at home that night. And that's why she glared at me so angrily before the concert.

She's kind, warm, passionate and intelligent. While not a raving beauty or a movie star, she's certainly attractive. And although she's not as young as the women I usually spend time with she's younger than I am by quite a few years. Also, despite retiring a couple of years ago the fact remains that she's still a blonde ballerina. However, there's more to life than tapping a dancer's derrière. (I'm frequently reminding myself of that)
And so a soap opera chapter of my life has come to a close. It's for the best. Now? As ever, forward.


* that's the little known collective noun for a group of ballet dancers. Fact.

Sounds like you ended up dodging a bullet then, Nik, which is always a good thing. Hope things are going well for you. In my little corner of the world, I got this woman's number I met online today and she asked me to call her tonight, which I will (of course). She's quite attractive, too. Her parents are from Ethiopia originally.

[NikF]

Sounds like you ended up dodging a bullet then, Nik, which is always a good thing.

Well, like I said she's kind and warm and has the great tight body that dancers have. But I never thought a longterm relationship was going to work with us, whereas she wasn't into the short-term stuff. So, best to let it go.

Hope things are going well for you.

Yeah, I'm good, thanks. Got the cast removed from my ankle and a lightweight 'walking cast' put on and started physio/rehab. It's strange, but this is the first I think I've ever felt my *age. However, time and patience will do their stuff and get me there.

In my little corner of the world, I got this woman's number I met online today and she asked me to call her tonight, which I will (of course). She's quite attractive, too. Her parents are from Ethiopia originally.

Cool! Hope the call goes well. I've known quite a lot of women but I don't think I ever knew a woman of Ethiopian heritage. How worldly of you!
Anyway you know the score; stay cool, remember to keep breathing etc.  And let us know how it goes?


*109

[Mirror Image]

Well, like I said she's kind and warm and has the great tight body that dancers have. But I never thought a longterm relationship was going to work with us, whereas she wasn't into the short-term stuff. So, best to let it go.
Yeah, I'm good, thanks. Got the cast removed from my ankle and a lightweight 'walking cast' put on and started physio/rehab. It's strange, but this is the first I think I've ever felt my *age. However, time and patience will do their stuff and get me there.

Cool! Hope the call goes well. I've known quite a lot of women but I don't think I ever knew a woman of Ethiopian heritage. How worldly of you!
Anyway you know the score; stay cool, remember to keep breathing etc.  And let us know how it goes?


*109

Yeah, things have a way of sorting out. Good to hear you're recovery is going well. Thanks for the good wishes, I'm going to go into our phone chat with nothing expected and just looking to get to know her a bit more before we arrange to meet up (if things go well that is).

[NikF]

So what happened at the speed dating? Did you go? Was it well attended? Free hospitality bananas offered for all? Do tell.

[NikF]

It was more of a social meeting people kind of thing, than a strictly dating/relationships thing. It was hosted by a comedian that tried to make it awkward as possible. They gave away prizes too. Two people got a free night in a five star hotel, I'm not joking  (they're definitely getting laid     )

I met some people, didn't get any contacts though. Many attractive ladies, one from the music composition area but I didn't get to talk to her (the whole room didn't get to meet everyone) but I will be introducing myself when I see her at the next lecture I see her at   

Lots of dudes there too (of course the ratio will always be a little uneven). You don't know who's gay/straight either which makes a public event like that...confusing. It was just an introducing yourself and having a laugh hind of night but It gave me a little motivation to find some radical ways of introducing myself to random people )and especially girls, obviously) around the campus.

Thousands of girls, I'm bound to find someone that can get past my intergalactic gorilla stinkyness and intense sarcastic, self-deprecating humor...or maybe not 



I'll invade earth once my coffee cools down, this planets thermal nuclear percolators are too damn hot 

Thanks for the thorough report. 

Good stuff.

[Gurn Blanston]

As you will all note, I cut several off-topic posts and lobbed them into the dumper. Let's see if we can't keep from straying too far from the topic, shall we?

GB 

[NikF]

I'll echo the above post and add that off topic also includes attention seeking BS such as "I didn't mean to disrupt the thread" and "Well, I'll just stop posting in it then".

And I'd like to thank Gurn Blanston again for investing the time and effort in cleaning up the thread so we can continue with it once more on topic. Good stuff. ---> 

So, dating... Nothing happening here. Last night I managed to hobble to the performance of Brahms VC and took up prime position and unashamedly posed quietly had a drink in the bar beforehand; one hand holding a glass of wine, the other an open copy of 'Cities of the Interior' by Anais Nin... But unfortunately the youngest woman there appeared to be about 93 - and even then she probably looked quite young for her age.

If no one has any dating stories, I'll post the one about why you should keep cool when you ask a woman out but she rejects you.

[NikF]

I might try meeting some females at gigs too, there's quite a few jazz concerts around here and a classical concert every few days 

Sounds like a plan, you man about town you. 
And tell me, Tfa, how important would you say a scarf is as part of your dating (or otherwise) attire? Perhaps you could tell us all, over in the Neckwear for the cool and good thread?

[NikF]

Don't take the huff if she says no.

Years ago I was in a busy pharmacy and had handed my script to an older lady who in turn handed it behind and then up and over a half wall, into the manicured little hands of a younger lady who had a head of dark hair and a pair of glasses which with one finger she pushed up from the end of her nose. Occasionally she'd raise her head over the wall, push the glasses up again, then bob back down. One time we made eye contact and she held it a fraction of a second too long and so I knew I could and was going to get her. Still, because back then I was kind of a cad I waited until her head had returned down and I quickly moved to the other side of the pharmacy, so that when she next looked up I was gone, and for a moment before she caught herself she'd quickly scanned all over and from side to side hurriedly looking for me. Oh yeah.

Medications were bagged and handed out by the older lady and because I had been last in I was last catered to. And when my name was called it was the pharmacist herself and she came around the counter, reading from the label and asking my name, address, date of birth, was I already taking any medication or was I allergic to penicillin? She stopped in front of me and raised her eyes. A serious pixie face, petite, almost a miniature woman with those grown-up glasses that regularly crept down her nose. I thanked her and she efficiently smiled, then again gave the game away by using her finger to push her glasses up but finding they hadn't slipped. A little flustered but chin up, she turned and swayed away inside her nearly too big lab coat. Okay, how do I get her? I know she wants me but how exactly do I get her? I searched my thoughts. No, no idea. The pharmacy was always busy and that meant I needed privacy with her. If I was religious I'd look for inspiration, look for an answer from above. But I'm an atheist with a furrowed brow. Still, that didn't stop me raising my eyes above as I thought. And to my heathen non-believer surprise there was the answer delivered from on high. It was a sign, a real sign, suspended by wires and it said "Book your FREE Blood and Diabetes Test Today!"

I returned a few days later, early for my appointment. The pharmacist greeted me and too eagerly smiled as she told me to go over and in to a small cubicle and wait...for her assistant who would then come and administer the tests. No. That's not what I was expecting. But it was just a case of her checking to see if i would stay cool or if I'd whine like a child. I walked over to the cubicle, entered, then moments later was joined by the pharmacist who informed me that her assistant was busy with a customer and she herself would have to do the test. My arm extended out, her glasses pushed up and the door pulled aside, the test began.

Remember, I was a cad and so when she moved to put the blood pressure cuff over my upper arm it encountered a bicep huge and swollen by my last minute dropset exercises at home. And it achieved the desired effect, because she lost a little of her I am a serious professional demeanour and this was further exacerbated when the readings were high. Did I smoke? Was I taking any meds I'd forgot to tell her about? Had I just been to the gym beforehand? No. None of that. I told her I felt great but agreed there must be a reason for such readings. I asked her for her best guess. She offered none. But that's okay, because we both knew the readings were because she wanted me. Really, it was a cert.

I don't like needles, but I will always accept them being used by a doctor or dentist or hospital. She was none of those and so when she asked for my thumb and moved to prick it for a blood sample I let her hold it, but then tucked it tightly into my fist. Glasses almost rammed up in exasperation, rolling eyes and a fake sigh, she wrestled my hand to get my palm open and retrieve my thumb, telling me I would be fine and I wouldn't feel it. The little liar. She applied the band aid and announced the tests were over. We left the cubicle.

The time to strike is now, here, right now as she's filling in a form with the results. But I'm going to remind you again that I knew she wanted me. How sure was I? Well, you can never say 100% for certain. But in this instance I could say 99.99% certain. She signed the form and told me I could give it to my GP for my records. Then she added that as far as she could tell I was in good shape. I told her I knew that. And then she looked me in the eye and quite firmly asked me if there was anything else. There was and I knew for sure it was a formality -

Me: Yes, give me your number. I want to take you out.
Her: No. I'm not interested.



(Second and final part in the next post)