Dating or not dating.

[vandermolen]

Yeah, that's the sort of thing I was wary of. I mean, in my house I now have pull up bars fitted in three different doorways and I do a few pullups every time I pass. It's relatively easy and so I was confident. But this is real life and so heroic gestures involving 'you are pretty and a nice shape, now please watch how cool I am at launching myself up and over this high wall' holds at least huge potential to be a lesson in humility...

Indeed - it could turn out to be a classic blunder of the first magnitude.

On a country walk with my girlfriend's parents, early on in our relationship, I managed to fall down a river embankment, disappearing from view. Her father (now my father-in-law) nonchalantly commented 'I think that your boyfriend has disappeared' (he didn't bother to learn my name until much later). Amazingly we are still together.

[Mirror Image]

Yeah, down to earth. First impressions are that she's kind of laid back. But even with the casual hoody/jeans look she appears well groomed

And it was funny, because she lives in one of the houses that a while back was converted into four(?) separate apartments. When they did that they paved the front garden for parking and put a gate at the end of the driveway. She couldn't get the gate open and so I casually strolled over to do it courtesy of my biceps and triceps and stuff and...couldn't move it even an inch. So I climbed over the wall, but because I'm not tall I had to take a run at it and then leap and haul myself over. There were so many moments it could have all gone horribly wrong.

I suppose she was rather flattered by you helping her at least? Do let us know how the date goes, Nik.

[NikF]

On a country walk with my girlfriend's parents, early on in our relationship, I managed to fall down a river embankment, disappearing from view. Her father (now my father-in-law) nonchalantly commented 'I think that your boyfriend has disappeared' (he didn't bother to learn my name until much later). Amazingly we are still together.

See, that's the other way to look at it; if you're going to have a mishap, then have one with style - perhaps even panache. 
And I like the father in law taking his time to learn your name.

I suppose she was rather flattered by you helping her at least? Do let us know how the date goes, Nik.

Yes, I suppose she was. But it was a good example of what I was saying earlier in the thread about how with a bit of experience (and self honesty) you can recognise from the outset not just if a woman is interested in you, but also the nature of that interest. In this case she knew I was trying to be charming and all that. And she was well aware that my bold attempt to scale the wall was at least in part an attempt to impress. But the litmus test is going to be when we go to the concert, because I've expressed my interest and now it's down to how she responds. If she returns my interest, then good - that's cool. However if she doesn't, it's a pity - but still cool.
This stuff is really easy. Maybe the most difficult part is having a big mouth and opening it. Although I find that comes naturally to me.   
Of course, I'll post an update regardless.

[Mirror Image]

Yes, I suppose she was. But it was a good example of what I was saying earlier in the thread about how with a bit of experience (and self honesty) you can recognise from the outset not just if a woman is interested in you, but also the nature of that interest. In this case she knew I was trying to be charming and all that. And she was well aware that my bold attempt to scale the wall was at least in part an attempt to impress. But the litmus test is going to be when we go to the concert, because I've expressed my interest and now it's down to how she responds. If she returns my interest, then good - that's cool. However if she doesn't, it's a pity - but still cool.

This stuff is really easy. Maybe the most difficult part is having a big mouth and opening it. Although I find that comes naturally to me.   
Of course, I'll post an update regardless.

All will be revealed the night of concert. Good luck, my friend.

[NikF]

^ Thanks.

Update: The dancer and I went out to dinner on Friday. The restaurant is only a three or four minute walk from my house, but after the meal we took a taxi to her place on the other side of the city.
My violin playing new(ish) neighbour drove by me yesterday and slowed to smile and wave. Definitely cute. I'm looking forward to attending the concert with her. Note: I must ask about the current status of her driveway gate vis-a-vis if it's still needing oiled.

[Mirror Image]

^ Thanks.

Update: The dancer and I went out to dinner on Friday. The restaurant is only a three or four minute walk from my house, but after the meal we took a taxi to her place on the other side of the city.
My violin playing new(ish) neighbour drove by me yesterday and slowed to smile and wave. Definitely cute. I'm looking forward to attending the concert with her. Note: I must ask about the current status of her driveway gate vis-a-vis if it's still needing oiled.

Good to hear things are going well with the dancer. She must be quite easy on the eyes for you to continue to see her. I'm really hoping things work out for you and this violinist, though, especially since I LOVE the violin.

[NikF]

Good to hear things are going well with the dancer. She must be quite easy on the eyes for you to continue to see her. I'm really hoping things work out for you and this violinist, though, especially since I LOVE the violin.

Yeah, she's not unattractive. Neither she (or the violinist) are supermodels or movie stars, but they don't need to be.   If it gets more serious with either I'll end up putting a lens on them and you can see for yourself. But in both cases it's nowhere near that stage - that's still far away.
What's happening with you? Still registered on the dating sites?

[Mirror Image]

Yeah, she's not unattractive. Neither she (or the violinist) are supermodels or movie stars, but they don't need to be.   If it gets more serious with either I'll end up putting a lens on them and you can see for yourself. But in both cases it's nowhere near that stage - that's still far away.
What's happening with you? Still registered on the dating sites?

Yeah, I completely understand. You're just having some fun for now. No, nothing is going on with me and that's really the way I want it at the moment. I'm becoming more and more absorbed by music as each day passes. Perhaps a sad, lonely existence, but after my last dating episode, I haven't felt the need to pursue anyone. Enjoying my solitude more than ever right now.

[NikF]

Yeah, I completely understand. You're just having some fun for now. No, nothing is going on with me and that's really the way I want it at the moment. I'm becoming more and more absorbed by music as each day passes. Perhaps a sad, lonely existence, but after my last dating episode, I haven't felt the need to pursue anyone. Enjoying my solitude more than ever right now.

That's it. Fun, yes. And if something more develops then...it's something more. It's been almost seven months since my relationship ended and from that point my life has spread out even further than before, simply because there's more free time for everything now. As ever, I'm making the most of it.

Sounds like it's perfectly natural for you to be where you're at right now. As long as you make sure you're getting out and taking time to smell the flowers once in a while, then it's all cool.

[Mirror Image]

That's it. Fun, yes. And if something more develops then...it's something more. It's been almost seven months since my relationship ended and from that point my life has spread out even further than before, simply because there's more free time for everything now. As ever, I'm making the most of it.

Sounds like it's perfectly natural for you to be where you're at right now. As long as you make sure you're getting out and taking time to smell the flowers once in a while, then it's all cool.

Great to hear, Nik. Here's hoping something great happens for you with either woman. Yeah, I'm not completely shut-off from women of course, but I'm definitely not pursuing anyone right now.

[NikF]

On a date last night with the dancer. She confirmed what I already kind of knew, that another guy is after her. He's been at a couple of events we've attended and I've noticed he doesn't seem to like me (join the queue  ) very much. I think the best way to sum up the difference between us is that where I get into the boxing ring and spar, he wears lycra and does boxercise. Ah, that's unkind of me. What I mean is, that he would be the safe option for her - which includes her knowing that she would be able to wrap him around her finger. Regardless, it's her choice and none of my business.

[Mirror Image]

On a date last night with the dancer. She confirmed what I already kind of knew, that another guy is after her. He's been at a couple of events we've attended and I've noticed he doesn't seem to like me (join the queue  ) very much. I think the best way to sum up the difference between us is that where I get into the boxing ring and spar, he wears lycra and does boxercise. Ah, that's unkind of me. What I mean is, that he would be the safe option for her - which includes her knowing that she would be able to wrap him around her finger. Regardless, it's her choice and none of my business.

So she's not interested in you any longer?

[NikF]

Could be. My initial thought was that it's just another kind of ultimatum. Then again, neither she or I have said we won't see anyone else. So she's free to date other guys. But I don't know.
The thing is, I can't say to her 'This is guy is a dick' despite the fact he's a dick, because as I said, it's none of my business. And it would be a pathetic, childish thing for me to say in any case. Also, there's the fact that it would call into question her taste in men - which would naturally include myself. Finally, as ridiculous as this might sound, I try not to say or even think stuff like that about people.

Anyway, today is the date with my violin toting neighbour. I'm going to go run through the park, do pull ups on trees/fall out of trees in order to get some blood into my muscles (and hopefully, brain ) then shower, have late breakfast with a friend, then meet her at the venue.

[vandermolen]

Could be. My initial thought was that it's just another kind of ultimatum. Then again, neither she or I have said we won't see anyone else. So she's free to date other guys. But I don't know.
The thing is, I can't say to her 'This is guy is a dick' despite the fact he's a dick, because as I said, it's none of my business. And it would be a pathetic, childish thing for me to say in any case. Also, there's the fact that it would call into question her taste in men - which would naturally include myself. Finally, as ridiculous as this might sound, I try not to say or even think stuff like that about people.

Anyway, today is the date with my violin toting neighbour. I'm going to go run through the park, do pull ups on trees/fall out of trees in order to get some blood into my muscles (and hopefully, brain ) then shower, have late breakfast with a friend, then meet her at the venue.

Hope all goes well. Sooner or later you will find your Hyzenthlay. 

[NikF]

Thanks, man.   Yeah, and if I don't find her by the usual methods I'll have to seriously consider stealing her from another burrow.

[Mirror Image]

Could be. My initial thought was that it's just another kind of ultimatum. Then again, neither she or I have said we won't see anyone else. So she's free to date other guys. But I don't know.
The thing is, I can't say to her 'This is guy is a dick' despite the fact he's a dick, because as I said, it's none of my business. And it would be a pathetic, childish thing for me to say in any case. Also, there's the fact that it would call into question her taste in men - which would naturally include myself. Finally, as ridiculous as this might sound, I try not to say or even think stuff like that about people.

Anyway, today is the date with my violin toting neighbour. I'm going to go run through the park, do pull ups on trees/fall out of trees in order to get some blood into my muscles (and hopefully, brain ) then shower, have late breakfast with a friend, then meet her at the venue.

I completely understand and good luck to you, Nik. I hope all goes well for you and this violinist. Hopefully, there'll be magic in the air tonight.

[NikF]

I completely understand and good luck to you, Nik. I hope all goes well for you and this violinist. Hopefully, there'll be magic in the air tonight.

You're always generous with your good wishes - thanks.
The concert was this afternoon, see? (I've included the next concert because I haven't heard the Nielsen before and think it might be cool to attend)


Anyway, I waited for my date at the venue but she didn't turn up. So I checked my phone and found I had no phone. I enjoyed the concert all the same and got talking to a nice woman because that's what I do. I didn't ask for her number though. 
Later at home I found my phone and a series of messages from my date, telling me she might not get back to town in time/definitely not going to make it/to call her after the concert. I called and she was all apologetic and invited me over for a drink. So I went over and it was cool and good.
Cellphones are nothing but trouble...

[Mirror Image]

You're always generous with your good wishes - thanks.
The concert was this afternoon, see? (I've included the next concert because I haven't heard the Nielsen before and think it might be cool to attend)


Anyway, I waited for my date at the venue but she didn't turn up. So I checked my phone and found I had no phone. I enjoyed the concert all the same and got talking to a nice woman because that's what I do. I didn't ask for her number though. 
Later at home I found my phone and a series of messages from my date, telling me she might not get back to town in time/definitely not going to make it/to call her after the concert. I called and she was all apologetic and invited me over for a drink. So I went over and it was cool and good.
Cellphones are nothing but trouble...

You're welcome, Nik.

Sorry to hear about your date, but happy to hear you had a good time at the concert nevertheless. Also, going over for drinks must have been quite nice indeed. Hears hoping things continue to go in your favor.

[NikF]

Yeah, it was a cool chat. I learned some stuff about her. I would've stayed longer but she has an early start for work. Also, when I went to the park this morning I was doing my pull ups on the branch of a tree which I sort of fell off and landed awkwardly on my ankle. It's become kind of uncomfortable. So I'm off to self medicate now with a single malt whisky and Mahler.

[Mirror Image]

Yeah, it was a cool chat. I learned some stuff about her. I would've stayed longer but she has an early start for work. Also, when I went to the park this morning I was doing my pull ups on the branch of a tree which I sort of fell off and landed awkwardly on my ankle. It's become kind of uncomfortable. So I'm off to self medicate now with a single malt whisky and Mahler.

Good to hear about the chat. Not good to hear about your ankle. Get some rest my friend.