Dating or not dating.

[greg]

We're pretty much agreeing on everything and you are doing/thinking the same things, so your reactions are a bit odd, that's why I was trying to figure them out.

"Physical is half the battle"/partially important for a relationship = me saying I want to work out more is "shallow". Strange reaction IMO.

Idealized view = preferences/standards = everyone has them, including you. So?


You don't have to answer at this point, just trying to express some confusion, since I don't see the logical progression from left to right here.

As for my own endeavors, I've got a date with a woman I met at a grocery store today. I'm not sure when we'll get together, but she seems pretty sweet.

Good to hear. Good luck.

[Mirror Image]

We're pretty much agreeing on everything and you are doing/thinking the same things, so your reactions are a bit odd, that's why I was trying to figure them out.

"Physical is half the battle"/partially important for a relationship = me saying I want to work out more is "shallow". Strange reaction IMO.

Idealized view = preferences/standards = everyone has them, including you. So?


You don't have to answer at this point, just trying to express some confusion, since I don't see the logical progression from left to right here.


Good to hear. Good luck.

Greg, I never said that you working out and wanting to get into shape is shallow. Go back and read what I wrote. The only one confusing things is you, my friend. Like I said, if you want to work out and get into shape. That's great! Again, I never said anything negative about it. What I did say is that looking great isn't the only criteria one should use when looking for a woman. Physicality on its own is nothing without an intellectual connection. That's ALL I'm saying about that. You can go back and read what you want to in my posts, but I believe I was pretty clear. Anyway, thanks in regards to my date, she seems like a nice woman, but I'm not expecting anything other than this is merely a preliminary kind of thing for now (as it should be).

[greg]

Greg, I never said that you working out and wanting to get into shape is shallow.

My bad, the word was "superficial." As a response to the whole post.

See:

Greg, always the one for the superficial....

If it was directed at a single point that I made, I would not know.

Again, I never said anything negative about it. What I did say is that looking great isn't the only criteria one should use when looking for a woman. Physicality on its own is nothing without an intellectual connection. That's ALL I'm saying about that.

I never wrote that, either, that it was the only critieria. Unless there is somewhere I said that that can be quoted?

It just seems like what you're thinking is that I was implying something more than what I was saying, which was not the case.

Anyway, thanks in regards to my date, she seems like a nice woman, but I'm not expecting anything other than this is merely a preliminary kind of thing for now (as it should be).

Definitely a good mindset to have.
And staring at that Takemitsu avatar is making me want to listen to Takemitsu. 

[Mirror Image]

My bad, the word was "superficial." As a response to the whole post.

See:If it was directed at a single point that I made, I would not know.

I never wrote that, either, that it was the only critieria. Unless there is somewhere I said that that can be quoted?

It just seems like what you're thinking is that I was implying something more than what I was saying, which was not the case.


Definitely a good mindset to have.
And staring at that Takemitsu avatar is making me want to listen to Takemitsu. 

The 'superficial' remark was meant to be snarky, but I suppose a smiley face wouldn't have hurt, eh? Let's not take this any further. Thanks and funnily enough, I was actually wearing my Takemitsu shirt when I asked this woman out. The Takemitsuian zen session I had beforehand really worked wonders as well.

[greg]

The 'superficial' remark was meant to be snarky, but I suppose a smiley face wouldn't have hurt, eh? Let's not take this any further. Thanks and funnily enough, I was actually wearing my Takemitsu shirt when I asked this woman out. The Takemitsuian zen session I had beforehand really worked wonders as well.

Gotcha. 
Takemitsu shirt, eh? Cool... There was a guy who used to post here, Mikkel, who used to wear a Penderecki shirt. That should be a thing at classical concerts- composer t-shirts. And in general.

[Mirror Image]

Gotcha. 
Takemitsu shirt, eh? Cool... There was a guy who used to post here, Mikkel, who used to wear a Penderecki shirt. That should be a thing at classical concerts- composer t-shirts. And in general.

Yes, indeed. I now have 7 composer shirts: Shostakovich, Takemitsu, Sibelius, Ives, Bartok, and Schoenberg. I have a Nielsen one on the way.

[Mirror Image]

So I decided to pass on the date I had with the lady I met at the grocery store. She's nice enough, but we spoke a bit on the phone the other day and we have as much in common as I have with a rabbi.

[NikF]

So I decided to pass on the date I had with the lady I met at the grocery store. She's nice enough, but we spoke a bit on the phone the other day and we have as much in common as I have with a rabbi.

MI taking the disappointment in his stride by calling it like it is.

[Mirror Image]

MI taking the disappointment in his stride by calling it like it is.

Yes, indeed. I figured I'd save us both time and effort.

[NikF]

Yes, indeed. I figured I'd save us both time and effort.

I'm sure you let her down with care, but I want to believe that during the call you said something like "...you're certainly nice, but I simply feel we have as much in common as I have with a rabbi."

[greg]

So I decided to pass on the date I had with the lady I met at the grocery store. She's nice enough, but we spoke a bit on the phone the other day and we have as much in common as I have with a rabbi.

I know that feeling.

That one girl I used to work with I'd tell my friends she was the prettiest girl I've known- so they'd say, "So why haven't you asked her out yet?" And even my parents, when they saw her one day, came home and said, "Who is that girl at the register? She's so pretty! You should ask her out!" But I never did... just didn't feel like I had anything in common with her. Like, what the hell would we even talk about? 

After next month, every single person that I interact with on a daily basis will be married, because the lady I work with all day is getting married. They're mostly my age or slightly older. Only one guy, who I occasionally talk with (at work), I know isn't married.

[Mirror Image]

I'm sure you let her down with care, but I want to believe that during the call you said something like "...you're certainly nice, but I simply feel we have as much in common as I have with a rabbi."

I let her down easy of course and I was quite cordial with her during the whole conversation, but that would have been something if I actually did say that to her...lol.

[Mirror Image]

I know that feeling.

That one girl I used to work with I'd tell my friends she was the prettiest girl I've known- so they'd say, "So why haven't you asked her out yet?" And even my parents, when they saw her one day, came home and said, "Who is that girl at the register? She's so pretty! You should ask her out!" But I never did... just didn't feel like I had anything in common with her. Like, what the hell would we even talk about? 

After next month, every single person that I interact with on a daily basis will be married, because the lady I work with all day is getting married. They're mostly my age or slightly older. Only one guy, who I occasionally talk with (at work), I know isn't married.

It's actually better that you didn't go out with her because you'd just be leading her on believing there might be a chance for something to happen when, in reality, there never was, so a good move on your part for sure.

[greg]

It's actually better that you didn't go out with her because you'd just be leading her on believing there might be a chance for something to happen when, in reality, there never was, so a good move on your part for sure.

Maybe. Though being around guys other could have saved her life. 

[NikF]

Not much going on in my life as far as dating is concerned. I'm still hanging out with Blulabelle, but being even busier than usual at the moment means meeting someone new isn't at the top of my list. Then again, it's not possible to know when or where I'm going to run into someone cool, but I'm always prepared for it happening as I go about my day anyway.

[greg]

Just now, yet again, two girls in the manga section at the bookstore. Except this time they were definitely some good looking ones.

Talking about a bunch of anime, including Space Dandy and Evangelion. I had something to say about both, but didn't.

Just so much pressure I feel to say something so it just makes me lock up. It's kind of when I used to do a lot of lucid dreaming and I'd see a girl and most of the time I'd just panic and the dream would end (though SOMETIMES I was able to relax). I don't know if I have some anxiety issues or what.

[greg]

Now that I think about it, I think the only way to talk is to make sure to tell myself NOT to talk. The only thing that will lead to is me thinking "Pssshhh... why the hell not, I do what I wanna b***," and then I can relax.

My subconscious is the most rebellious and crazy thing. If I try to something good, it will rebel strongly. Sometimes I can be around people and think how awful/inappropriate it would be if I started crying. And then the whole time I am struggling not to cry. Or at meetings or formal occasions where everyone is serious, I can't help but start making jokes to myself and trying to hold back laughter. Idk wtf is wrong with my mind.



P.S. never invite me to a funeral or a wedding.

[Mirror Image]

Damn, Greg. You should've asked one of them out or both of them. You are your own worst enemy at the end of the day. If you would approach them casually with a good smile and a joking kind of demeanor, you may be surprised by the results. If they both said 'no', then oh well move onto someone else. I can't tell you how many times I've been rejected, but that's just a part of it. Yesterday, this junior in college invited me back to her sorority house for a party and she was flirting with me like nobody's business, but what did I do? I told her "Take care." I just wasn't interested. There's much more to life than getting laid or having a quick roll in the sack with someone I don't know. I'm looking for the real thing and a horny college student just doesn't interest me anymore. When I was in my early 20s, I'd be all over that, but things have changed as I've gotten older.

[greg]

If you would approach them casually with a good smile and a joking kind of demeanor, you may be surprised by the results.

I wouldn't be surprised if either or both of them were interested.

It's just that reverse psychology works extremely well when I use it on myself. If I feel a sort of strong pressure to "have to" do something (other than anything life-critical, like driving safely), there will be problems.

I can think of so many examples of this, even when I was really, really little. It's so far back that I'm convinced it's biological. Here's one: When I was in pre-school, my parents asked if the name of my invisible friend "Hey" was "Hey" or "Hay." It was really "Hey," but I told them it was "Hay." Only because at that moment I felt like I really felt a strong urge to tell the truth, but I just couldn't for some reason. It was that same exact feeling of just locking up, like what I experienced today.

I couldn't sleep the entire night Sunday because I really wanted to, more than ever, make sure I started the week off right by getting enough sleep. And it just backfires in the worst way possible.

[Mirror Image]

I wouldn't be surprised if either or both of them were interested.

It's just that reverse psychology works extremely well when I use it on myself. If I feel a sort of strong pressure to "have to" do something (other than anything life-critical, like driving safely), there will be problems.

I can think of so many examples of this, even when I was really, really little. It's so far back that I'm convinced it's biological. Here's one: When I was in pre-school, my parents asked if the name of my invisible friend "Hey" was "Hey" or "Hay." It was really "Hey," but I told them it was "Hay." Only because at that moment I felt like I really felt a strong urge to tell the truth, but I just couldn't for some reason. It was that same exact feeling of just locking up, like what I experienced today.

I couldn't sleep the entire night Sunday because I really wanted to, more than ever, make sure I started the week off right by getting enough sleep. And it just backfires in the worst way possible.

You need to get out more and I'll just leave it at that.