MM's joke thread

[Mozart]

A guy goes out drinking with his buddies but gets really horny after seeing the waitress' cleavage. He doesn't wanna cheat on wife so he heads home. He goes into the bedroom and sees his wife with her mom wide open completely passed out. So he drops 2 aspirin in her mouth and sure enough she wakes up choking, but then gets to swallow the pills and says "what did you put in my mouth?"
"2 aspirin"
"but I didnt have a headache"



Undressing he says "great thats just what I wanted to hear"

[Mozart]

Took me a few seconds to get around that one...

I probably shouldn't have used the word wide...1 wrong word ruins a joke!