The Joke Thread

Started by karlhenning, April 25, 2007, 12:34:49 PM

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Karl Henning

#460
May 11, 2023, 10:00:41 AM
Seen on Twitter:
Hmm... look at that. I was just reading there are no canaries on the Canary Islands.
Same thing with the Virgin Islands... no canaries there either.
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Mapman

#461
June 14, 2023, 03:01:34 PM
Monday's XKCD will likely be of interest to many here.



I reinterpreted the linear pitch scale as a standard log scale. The results (score, transposed down for legibility, and audio) are attached.

Karl Henning

#462
June 14, 2023, 03:34:56 PM
Quote from: George on May 30, 2023, 07:05:40 PMHeard about the new Ford Mute? It goes without saying.


(I am particualrly proud of this one. I think this is the best joke I have written.)
Very nice!
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Karl Henning

#463
September 09, 2023, 12:54:16 PM
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Karl Henning

#464
September 12, 2023, 02:36:44 PM
Doonesbury '89
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Karl Henning

#465
September 12, 2023, 04:40:28 PM
Oh, this is awful:

My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only had 9 toes.

She was lack toes intolerant.
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Karl Henning

#466
September 14, 2023, 06:33:01 AM Last Edit: September 14, 2023, 06:47:57 AM by Karl Henning
No idea how many allusions to this scene I saw/heard over the years, this is the first I've seen the source:

Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Henk

#467
October 06, 2023, 10:37:18 AM Last Edit: October 06, 2023, 10:40:57 AM by Henk
I propose a one-letter thread, could be fun. Or a one-number thread, could be dumb. 😄

Also a means to speed up post amount to approach Karl. Karl is on a lonesome height.
'To listen to music decently, if being in a state of boredom, sitting it out is required as a preparation. In these times however man doesn't even notice being bored.'

vandermolen

#468
October 08, 2023, 09:14:28 AM Last Edit: October 28, 2023, 05:38:15 PM by vandermolen
I was out until 3.00am celebrating the wife's birthday. She was furious when I got home.
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

'The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good' (Stanley Kubrick).

Karl Henning

#469
October 08, 2023, 09:16:16 AM
Quote from: vandermolen on October 08, 2023, 09:14:28 AMI was out until 3.00am celebrating the wife's birthday. She was furious when I got home.

(* chortle *)
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Karl Henning

#470
October 08, 2023, 09:17:00 AM
Quote from: Henk on October 06, 2023, 10:37:18 AMI propose a one-letter thread, could be fun. Or a one-number thread, could be dumb. 😄

Also a means to speed up post amount to approach Karl. Karl is on a lonesome height.
Well, I've slowed down since my stroke.
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

DaveF

#471
October 08, 2023, 09:18:40 AM
Quote from: vandermolen on October 08, 2023, 09:14:28 AMI was out until 3.00am celebratimg the wife's birthday. She was furious when I got home.

Are you related to the Scotsman who went to Spain on his honeymoon, but didn't take his wife because she'd been there before?
"All the world is birthday cake" - George Harrison

Iota

#472
October 08, 2023, 10:00:11 AM
My Gran died on her hundredth birthday - I knew giving her the bumps was a mistake.

Florestan

#473
October 08, 2023, 10:07:45 AM
Quote from: DaveF on October 08, 2023, 09:18:40 AMthe Scotsman who went to Spain on his honeymoon, but didn't take his wife because she'd been there before?

He was probably the same Scotsman who asked the gasoline station boy "How much is a drop of gasoline?" and upon the boy's replying "A drop? That's for free, sir!" he asked "Then drop the tank full, son!"
"Great music is that which penetrates the ear with facility and leaves the memory with difficulty. Magical music never leaves the memory." — Thomas Beecham

Henk

#474
October 08, 2023, 01:01:02 PM
Quote from: Karl Henning on October 08, 2023, 09:17:00 AMWell, I've slowed down since my stroke.

That sounds bad, I hope you have fully recovered. Anyway you're still far ahead, I don't think anyone is able to catch-up for a long time. It's not a competition of course, but it still is legendary.
'To listen to music decently, if being in a state of boredom, sitting it out is required as a preparation. In these times however man doesn't even notice being bored.'

Karl Henning

#475
October 08, 2023, 01:12:40 PM
Quote from: Henk on October 08, 2023, 01:01:02 PMThat sounds bad, I hope you have fully recovered. Anyway you're still far ahead, I don't think anyone is able to catch-up for a long time. It's not a competition of course, but it still is legendary.
Recovery's going well, althiough recovery of my left hand is slow going. Thanks!
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Henk

#476
October 08, 2023, 03:30:06 PM
Quote from: Karl Henning on October 08, 2023, 01:12:40 PMRecovery's going well, althiough recovery of my left hand is slow going. Thanks!

Good to hear, Karl. Your composing is going well too as I've witnessed in your thread dedicated to it. So that is reassuring as well.
'To listen to music decently, if being in a state of boredom, sitting it out is required as a preparation. In these times however man doesn't even notice being bored.'

vandermolen

#477
October 09, 2023, 04:24:23 AM
'I used to go out with Fatima Whitbread [former British champion Javelin-thrower] but she chucked me.'

"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

'The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good' (Stanley Kubrick).

vandermolen

#478
October 09, 2023, 04:27:11 AM
I like this one:
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

'The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good' (Stanley Kubrick).

San Antone

#479
October 09, 2023, 06:30:28 AM
Cat lovers appreciate this:

A dog and a cat are at the "Pearly Gates" waiting to enter heaven.  God asks the dog, "were you a good dog?" and the dog replies, " I think so. I was loyal, obedient, learned many tricks, and protected my owner." 

God turns to the cat and asks if he were good. The cat replies, "you're in my chair."
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