The Joke Thread

Started by karlhenning, April 25, 2007, 12:34:49 PM

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Karl Henning

Oh, this is awful:

My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only had 9 toes.

She was lack toes intolerant.
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

George

Quote from: Karl Henning on September 12, 2023, 04:40:28 PMOh, this is awful:

My girlfriend broke up with me when she found out I only had 9 toes.

She was lack toes intolerant.

I suppose it should be 8 toes or less, right? 9 toes means she's lack toe interant. 
"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

Karl Henning

#502
No idea how many allusions to this scene I saw/heard over the years, this is the first I've seen the source:

Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Henk

#503
I propose a one-letter thread, could be fun. Or a one-number thread, could be dumb. 😄

Also a means to speed up post amount to approach Karl. Karl is on a lonesome height.

vandermolen

#504
I was out until 3.00am celebrating the wife's birthday. She was furious when I got home.
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

'The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good' (Stanley Kubrick).

Karl Henning

Quote from: vandermolen on October 08, 2023, 09:14:28 AMI was out until 3.00am celebrating the wife's birthday. She was furious when I got home.

(* chortle *)
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Karl Henning

Quote from: Henk on October 06, 2023, 10:37:18 AMI propose a one-letter thread, could be fun. Or a one-number thread, could be dumb. 😄

Also a means to speed up post amount to approach Karl. Karl is on a lonesome height.
Well, I've slowed down since my stroke.
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

DaveF

Quote from: vandermolen on October 08, 2023, 09:14:28 AMI was out until 3.00am celebratimg the wife's birthday. She was furious when I got home.

Are you related to the Scotsman who went to Spain on his honeymoon, but didn't take his wife because she'd been there before?
"All the world is birthday cake" - George Harrison

Iota

My Gran died on her hundredth birthday - I knew giving her the bumps was a mistake.

Florestan

Quote from: DaveF on October 08, 2023, 09:18:40 AMthe Scotsman who went to Spain on his honeymoon, but didn't take his wife because she'd been there before?

He was probably the same Scotsman who asked the gasoline station boy "How much is a drop of gasoline?" and upon the boy's replying "A drop? That's for free, sir!" he asked "Then drop the tank full, son!"
Melody is the essence of music. — Mozart

Henk

Quote from: Karl Henning on October 08, 2023, 09:17:00 AMWell, I've slowed down since my stroke.

That sounds bad, I hope you have fully recovered. Anyway you're still far ahead, I don't think anyone is able to catch-up for a long time. It's not a competition of course, but it still is legendary.

Karl Henning

Quote from: Henk on October 08, 2023, 01:01:02 PMThat sounds bad, I hope you have fully recovered. Anyway you're still far ahead, I don't think anyone is able to catch-up for a long time. It's not a competition of course, but it still is legendary.
Recovery's going well, althiough recovery of my left hand is slow going. Thanks!
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot

Henk

Quote from: Karl Henning on October 08, 2023, 01:12:40 PMRecovery's going well, althiough recovery of my left hand is slow going. Thanks!

Good to hear, Karl. Your composing is going well too as I've witnessed in your thread dedicated to it. So that is reassuring as well.

George

"I can't live without music, because music is life." - Yvonne Lefébure

vandermolen

'I used to go out with Fatima Whitbread [former British champion Javelin-thrower] but she chucked me.'

"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

'The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good' (Stanley Kubrick).

vandermolen

I like this one:
"Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm" (Churchill).

'The test of a work of art is, in the end, our affection for it, not our ability to explain why it is good' (Stanley Kubrick).

San Antone

Cat lovers appreciate this:

A dog and a cat are at the "Pearly Gates" waiting to enter heaven.  God asks the dog, "were you a good dog?" and the dog replies, " I think so. I was loyal, obedient, learned many tricks, and protected my owner." 

God turns to the cat and asks if he were good. The cat replies, "you're in my chair."

Pohjolas Daughter

Quote from: San Antone on October 09, 2023, 06:30:28 AMCat lovers appreciate this:

A dog and a cat are at the "Pearly Gates" waiting to enter heaven.  God asks the dog, "were you a good dog?" and the dog replies, " I think so. I was loyal, obedient, learned many tricks, and protected my owner." 

God turns to the cat and asks if he were good. The cat replies, "you're in my chair."
:laugh:  ;D

PD

Irons

My wife has left me for my best friend - I really miss him!
You must have a very good opinion of yourself to write a symphony - John Ireland.

I opened the door people rushed through and I was left holding the knob - Bo Diddley.

Karl Henning

Quote from: San Antone on October 09, 2023, 06:30:28 AMCat lovers appreciate this:

A dog and a cat are at the "Pearly Gates" waiting to enter heaven.  God asks the dog, "were you a good dog?" and the dog replies, " I think so. I was loyal, obedient, learned many tricks, and protected my owner." 

God turns to the cat and asks if he were good. The cat replies, "you're in my chair."
My sister got a chuckle out of that, too!
Karl Henning, Ph.D.
Composer & Clarinetist
Boston MA
http://www.karlhenning.com/
[Matisse] was interested neither in fending off opposition,
nor in competing for the favor of wayward friends.
His only competition was with himself. — Françoise Gilot