I went and I started this thread
Not knowing my ass from my head
It took just a sec
Might end as a wreck
But for this I should get some cred 0:)
So Dave has discovered his head,
And hopefully won't end up dead
When the posters weigh in
With descriptions of sin.
(I think I'll just be off to bed.)
;D
--Bruce
A moderator there was, name of Bruce
A man of vigor and juice
He liked a night out
Was good for a bout
The bathroom wall says he was loose
Hm, "vigor and juice." May have to change my sig. ;D
--Bruce
There was a young girl from Madras,
Who possessed a magnificent ass,
It was not round and pink,
Like you probably think,
It was gray, had long ears and ate grass.
8)
A moderator there was, name of Gurn
Who had CDs and files to burn
He listened at work
And said with a smirk
I think that it's Beethoven's turn
A feckless old fellow named Dave,
Turned out to be naught but a knave.
He was shallow of wit
so he stayed deep in s**t,
What sort of abuse did he crave?
8)
>:(
Till someone loses an eye. ;D
Quote from: MN Dave on August 25, 2009, 11:01:32 AM
>:(
Aw, I kinda liked it. Was it the "old" part or the "feckless" part?
;D
--Bruce
On the forum that's called GMG
One can sign up and post, all for free
If you like Chopin
And not Lindsay Lohan
Then this place should suit to a "T"
Quote from: bhodges on August 25, 2009, 11:09:41 AM
Aw, I kinda liked it. Was it the "old" part or the "feckless" part?
;D
--Bruce
I figured it was the 'old' thing. Some guys are just too sensitive... :D
8)
There once was a man, and a voter,
From the oft-fabled Minnesota,
By the name of Dave;
Of horror, he'd rave,
But of poetry he claimed not to know much.
Quote from: k a rl h e nn i ng on August 25, 2009, 11:16:36 AM
There once was a man, and a voter,
From the oft-fabled Minnesota,
By the name of Dave;
Of horror, he'd rave,
But of poetry he claimed not to know much.
;D
For this man called the ChamberNut
Loves string quartets and nothin' but,
On the job, he is prone to shirking
As GMG appeals to him more than working,
This 'Nut thinks anything but classical is smut.
Karl writes music, they said
It is his butter and bread
He can compose it long
Or even a song
Oh, the things that come out of his head!
ChamberNut, whose true name is Ray
Loves quartets and trios they say
His librarian dotes
On the CDs he totes
And takes home to post what he plays
Quote from: MN Dave on August 25, 2009, 11:31:37 AM
ChamberNut, whose true name is Ray
Loves quartets and trios they say
His librarian dotes
On the CDs he totes
And takes home to post what he plays
Tres bien, mon ami! ;D
Facts are for clods says Gurn
Oh, he has much to learn
Gurn you old fart
I'll match your Mozart
And raise you a Chopin Nocturne
Quote from: Franco on August 25, 2009, 11:34:18 AM
Facts are for clods says Gurn
Oh, he has much to learn
Gurn you old fart
I'll match your Mozart
And raise you a Chopin Nocturne
;D
Of Franco, I don't know that much
Perhaps I'm a bit out of touch
Too much time away
But you know what they say...
Sometimes that Dave's out to lunch
MN Dave comes and goes, that you can bet
It's 3PM, why hasn't his avatar changed yet?
He creates subversives polls
In 'Fat Enders', he aims to shed those rolls,
Dave the Nomad's profile is due to reset.
0:)
MN Dave has trouble with rhyme
Trying Lunch and Touch one time
Oh, how sad to see
Someone as smart as he
Commit so dastardly a crime
Of rhyming, I'm somewhat familiar
That one can use words that are similar
I did it above
I did it with love
So don't treat me like Heinrich Himmler
Quote from: MN Dave on August 25, 2009, 11:50:51 AM
Of rhyming, I'm somewhat familiar
That one can use words that are similar
I did it above
I did it with love
So don't treat me like Heinrich Himmler
:D
Dave's métier is mixing up words
(Though he think poetry for the birds);
For music he is booziest,
A downright enthusiast,
But he can't tell his fifths from his thirds.
Ahahahaha. I can't.
So these things seem to go 8-8-5-5-8.
...or not necessarily...
More like A#-A#-B#-B#-A#
Friend Franco is playing with fire,
He dares to draw out a mod's ire.
But he didn't prepare
to get charred to his hair
When the Gurnatron lit off his pyre.
:)
8)
Quote from: MN Dave on August 25, 2009, 11:59:05 AM
Ahahahaha. I can't.
So these things seem to go 8-8-5-5-8.
They MUST go 8-8-5-5-8. Rhyme 1-2 & 5 and 3 & 4. Those are the rules. :)
8)
Gurn's getting cranky with age
Small things can set off his rage
He seems rather grumpy
His outlook is lumpy
His sex life's a thing I can't gauge
Quote from: Gurn Blanston on August 25, 2009, 12:06:51 PM
They MUST go 8-8-5-5-8. Rhyme 1-2 & 5 and 3 & 4. Those are the rules. :)
8)
Oh, I think 9-9-5-5-9 is also acceptable. Or is there a rule you can show me?
So-called Limerick Studies are a tissue of Jesuitical lies . . . .
http://freespace.virgin.net/merrick.sheldon/limerickrules.htm
There once was a something of somewhere,
Whose what's-it was thingumbob up there.
A somewhat so frugal,
And a mystical bugle,
And, cor, I'm buggered if I remember.
Quote from: MN Dave on August 25, 2009, 12:07:52 PM
Oh, I think 9-9-5-5-9 is also acceptable. Or is there a rule you can show me?
Yes, you can have 9, or also 7. The important thing is that you be self-consistent. It is an anapestic beat. If you use 8 (which I usually do) you drop off the first beat of the first metric foot... well, let's not get into all that. :)
da-da-DUM da-da-DUM da-da-DUM. OR
da-DUM da-da-DUM da-da-DUM
8)
You're not going to let Dave defend himself, at least, from the charge of anapesty, Gurn?
("Ana didn't seem to mind at the time," Dave claimed in his own defense . . . .)
Don't worry. I have natural rhythm.
There was a young Belle of old Natchez,
whose dresses were all full of patchez.
when comments arose on the state of her clothes
she replied"When ah itches ah scratchez "
;D ;D ;D
My God! What a sight to be seen!
Of this thing I am not that keen!
It has great big horns
And hair just like thorns
And favors the taste of a spleen!
Quote from: Superhorn on August 25, 2009, 12:24:16 PM
There was a young Belle of old Natchez,
whose dresses were all full of patchez.
when comments arose on the state of her clothes
she replied"When ah itches ah scratchez "
;D ;D ;D
;D
Quote from: k a rl h e nn i ng on August 25, 2009, 12:21:28 PM
You're not going to let Dave defend himself, at least, from the charge of anapesty, Gurn?
My friend Doctor Henning is daft
Despite that, I near always laughed.
His sense for a pun
and his pricking for fun
Was his actual calling and craft. 8)
Karl, he plans and he plots
Thousands of posts for this box
A great feat I agree!
But his value to me
Is as a whipping post for his Red Sox.
I like ChamberNut quite a lot
We agree on what's good and what's not
He likes music for small bands
But despite my best plans
I sometimes see him as ChamberPot.
There once was a place called GMG
whose users bought tons of CDs
then a thread on religion
threw a cat in the pidgeons
and everybody was peeved.
Dittersdorf, it has been said
Wrote music, composed in his head
He wrote all he could
On a desk made of wood
But it went down like a balloon made of lead
Dittersdorf is very nice
Though Vanhal is finer
But really, most of all I'd like
The graceful tones of Haydn
The issue I'm wanting to delve is:
Was Handel much better than Elvis?
Was his Baroque shoe
Made of suede? Was it blue?
And could Handel wiggle his pelvis?
Quote from: Lethe on August 25, 2009, 12:53:14 PM
Dittersdorf is very nice
Though Vanhal is finer
But really, most of all I'd like
The graceful tones of Haydn
Man, it's hard to keep them to five lines. I'm going to continue breaking the rules:
Mozart is, as we all know
nothing but a fraud
for the knowledge of this we have
Rob Newman to applaud
They say of the music of Brahms
That it's nice, and it has many charms.
But hey, could he rock?
Could he swivel his stock?
And could he gyrate with his arms?
Quote from: Lethe on August 25, 2009, 01:04:49 PM
I'm going to continue breaking the rules:
You do realise that this could lead to the end of civilisation as we know it?
We can't be having that...
Tchaikovsky said he disliked Brahms
but would he wish him dead?
Too much élan
from a silly man
so worried he'd lose his own head.
So Mahler's quite good, let's pretend.
(Though his music's too long. Does it end?)
Dylan's songs are much shorter,
(Maybe more than they oughta),
And the wind it is blowing, my friend.
Very nice.
From Stygian depths, it did rise
With tentacles and bloated eyes
It reached out its limbs
From a visage most grim
And ignored all our pitiful cries :'(
Anderson Rutherford Lee
Was a man I'd rather not be
He got a bee stingy
On his poor little thingy
And now he really can't pee
Quote from: MN Dave on August 25, 2009, 02:19:56 PM
From Stygian depths, it did rise
With tentacles and bloated eyes
It reached out its limbs
From a visage most grim
And ignored all our pitiful cries :'(
That may be the scariest limerick I've ever seen.
Meanwhile, here is my double-stanza bargain-pack Greek mythology Limerick epic:
When Orpheus wandered below,
And Charon said 'Hi there, let's go!'
He jumped in the boat;
They started to float;
And Orpheus wanted to know,
'Hey, when will we get where we're going?'
(The Styx river hardly was flowing.)
And Charon said 'Soon!
But play me a tune,
And give me a hand with the rowing.'
There is a forum called GMG,
Full of strange people. Come and see!
It is in turns absurd and fun
But better than it can find no one!
(Of course, you don't have to fully agree)
There is this fellow, bold and brave,
No sooner an impulse to this thread he gave,
Than everybody rushed in,
Though there's no prize to win!
Three cheers, lads, for our T. Wilbanks Dave!
;D You guys are good.
Thought of this one on the way to work:
"All teachers are useless!" he cracked
Leaving his audience gobsmacked
He stood on his stool
And started to drool
"Thank God for the auto-didact!"
There once was a good music forum
Where the members behaved with decorum
Did they rush to log in
Our dear Dave, Karl, Brian?
They did not, cause they knew it would bore 'em
:)
Quote from: MN Dave on August 26, 2009, 04:58:56 AM
Thought of this one on the way to work:
"All teachers are useless!" he cracked
Leaving his audience gobsmacked
He stood on his stool
And started to drool
"Thank God for the auto-didact!"
In honor of R.N., no doubt ;) ;D 0:)
Continuing the theme of 'Mythic Limericks' (... Mytherics?):
Hades saw, on a bright sunny day -
Persephone! Whisked her away
For six months, we're told,
To the Underworld, cold;
But in Spring she'll be Queen of the May.
'Galatea, I think you're so cool,'
Said Acis, beginning to drool.
A giant then bopped 'im,
But Galatea stopped 'im,
And turned Acis into a pool.
Actaeon, hunting, it's said,
Saw Diana a-lying in bed.
She cried 'You're a stag!'
And he was! What a drag!
And soon after that, he was dead.
Cheers.
Quote from: MN Dave on August 25, 2009, 02:19:56 PM
From Stygian depths, it did rise
With tentacles and bloated eyes
It reached out its limbs
From a visage most grim
And ignored all our pitiful cries :'(
Didn't someone already mention Newman?
;D
--Bruce
:D
There once was a thread in the Diner
Whose content could not have been finer
But sink it did do
The poets all through
And gone like a swift ocean liner
:-*
The sun shines so rarely in Boston,
Umbrellas quite dear are a-costin'.
When you're done with the barber,
Walk down by the harbor,
Where packets of taxed tea are tossed in.
Of Copland, I like very little
Not the end, beginning nor middle
His stuff smells of horses
In small or large forces
And to Bach, he plays fifteenth fiddle
So we were all done, you were thinking?
Once there and then gone, while you're blinking?
You see, we're still here,
We're just having a beer,
So hi Dave, and what are you drinking?
A gin and tonic, I'm drinking
Or would, if my tests weren't so stinking
But they've gone in my rear
And I'll say with a tear
For booze, my menu is shrinking
When Dave writes a poem, king or no king,
It's clear that he's hell-bent on joking.
Thus here comes Elgarian,
His nostrils a-flarian,
Wondering just what Dave's been toking.
These ripostes have led me to think
That you might prefer, as a drink,
A single malt whisky;
But if you're feeling frisky,
A nod is as good as a wink.
I don't like this new kind of thread;
The ones that call for work instead
of mindless blather, like I want;
They only disappoint
me, and I then disappoint the thread head
There was a young man from St. Lou
Whose limericks stopped at line two.
Whitley Strieber posted that on Facebook. Not sure if it's his.
A man from remote Singapore,
Wrote limericks up to line four.
Despite much haranguing,
He left us all hanging ...
(We very soon showed him the door.)
Another who got on our wicks
Was the man who went up to line six.
So time after time,
He squandered his rhyme,
And piled up the words just like bricks.
(We soon had enough of his tricks.)
*claps*
Out East where the first sun is settin
Lives a rare and athletic Tibetan
She speed-meditates
On her saffron ice-skates
She's the Tibetan Mary Lou Retton.
[ This one comes with a story (http://henningmusick.blogspot.com/2009/09/not-huge-story-but-true.html) ]
Quote from: MN Dave on September 22, 2009, 05:48:56 AM
*claps*
Well, thinking ideas would thrive.
I struggled to bring back, alive,
The issue of
three.
(But as you can see,
A limerick's best with just five.)
Quote from: k a rl h e nn i ng on September 22, 2009, 06:41:08 AM
[ This one comes with a story (http://henningmusick.blogspot.com/2009/09/not-huge-story-but-true.html) ]
Gosh Karl, that is really quite weird.
(In fact it's the weirdest I've heared) [This is called 'poetic licence', people]
But may we ask, later,
In this dream of the skater:
Did you have a close shave? Or a beard?
Quote from: Gurn Blanston on August 25, 2009, 10:51:26 AM
There was a young girl from Madras,
Who possessed a magnificent ass,
It was not round and pink,
Like you probably think,
It was gray, had long ears and ate grass.
8)
There was a young man from Madras,
Whose nostrils were made out of glass.
When tinkling together,
They played "Stormy Weather,"
Which startled King Haile Salass'.
There was a pianist named Reenie,
Whose hands, though proficient, were teeny.
When splayed to full width
They could reach but a fifth,
So her octaves were played
arpeggini.
With sorcery most evil and dark
I have resurrected this thread on a lark
Humorous and depraved
It's back from the grave
So I hope here your ass you will park
>:D